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Confused and unsure

Community Member
Am I such a bad person that for the past week or so I have been entertaining thoughts of not being with Emily.i love her and care for her don't get me wrong there but all the arguments and frustration over anything is getting to the point where a decision has to be made.i don't necessarily want break up no, I just want one day where there no arguments no outbursts of anger or frustration, is one day to much to ask?I have even on brief periods looked at dating sites but quickly stop. We're currently looking for a house and have a third person join us and if something doesn't happen soon then I don't know what will happen, one thing I do know is  is that unless something changes then I won't be with  my partner ,and I do want to be with her,as it only going to hurt me and trying to improve my recovery. Everything I do seems to be wrong and I can do nothing right or that's the impression I get from people. I have no other reason to think that as she only ever focuses on the negative she only ever shows happiness for certain things and none of them seem to be anything I can do so fingers crossed something changes.
2 Replies 2

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
It's often said that good relationships take a lot of work, I'm not sure if this is true. Relationships are more like a house: they require maintenance over time, but most of the time you can live in them quite happily. If your relationship is like a house where every day bits are falling out of the roof, there's dry rot and damp and brown water keeps coming out of the taps, then it's probably time to move out of the house. Life's too short for that level of drama.

Community Member

It sounds to me that she's looking for reasons to start an argument.  Maybe she believes the best part of arguing is 'making up' after.  Sorry to say this, but , not true.  If you're constantly at each other's throats, your health will suffer.  You start walking on egg shells to avoid another 'blow up'.  That's not a relationship, that's competition to see how long before the next explosion happens.  What do you both want from a relationship.  You want one thing, she wants another.  Can you live with knowing you never seem to quite measure up to whatever it is she wants.  I would ask her what she wants from the relationship, if it is vastly different to your wants, step back, take 5.  You both need to be happy and compatible.    

They say 'love conquers all', but, only if you both want the same thing.  Jess's right.  Life's too short for dramas that are unnecessary.