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I am in desperate need of advice on how to look after myself better. I have recently had a lot of months with difficult decisions, experiences and exhaustion. My work is so busy that I do no longer know how to juggle it all. I usually work six days a week and dream of work sometimes. In addition, I am in a relationship with a wonderful man, however, since he has not grieved his broken marriage yet, we need to have a break with very little contact so he can get through the grief and commit to us a 100%. I love him dearly and I am scared to lose him, although everything has been absolutely wonderful and I believe we have a real chance of something very special. But the uncertainty coupled with how long it may take him to get through his past is currently killing my spirit. On top of work and private life, I have sustained an injury keeping me from doing what I love, i.e. physical exercise. I feel like my body and mind are crumbling and although I have always been so resilient, I feel like I cannot cope anymore. As the cherry on top, I am about to file for divorce from my husband. I separated last year and was very happy to finally get out. It was an emotionally abusive relationship and I felt sheer relief. I am still very happy and want this divorce but he is pleading and sending me messages about how he believes the separation was a mistake. I do not have the emotional bandwidth to deal with his emotions on top of everything else. I feel completely overwhelmed and I don't know how to handle myself. At work, I find it hard to concentrate and even tolerate being there. I have this urge to run away and just leave everything behind. In saying that, I definitely want to wait it out until my partner is finally free because he is such a beautiful addition to my life. At the moment, we are not seeing each other but that will change soon due to our work. I cannot wait to see him but am terrified of how I shall manage seeing him daily without being with him. I am not sure I can manage this. Sometimes, I have to try and keep myself from crying at work, I just don't know whether I will be able to hold it together. I can't take leave because I have too much work to complete, so it is like a vicious cycle. What can I do? I need to rebuild my energy and strength. I am usually a very happy person but the accumulation of all these difficulties is too much for me. How can I help myself?
These rough spots come and go in most peoples lives, the differences are usually how the person can cope with them and solve them. Some cannot and need the guidance you seek. Add to that not having your man around atm which is likely a trigger.
Two possibilities come to mind, firstly, to chip away at your problems but without major changes and secondly to be more radical in life change.
- Reduced working hours somehow
- Be decisive and firm on your ex (never go backwards) and seek divorce.
- Overnight holidays. A $30 tent, a bonfire and some marshmellows! Once a fortnight.
- More sleep /sleep study
- visit your GP
More radical ideas
- Relocate tree/sea change
- Two part time jobs rather than 1.5 full time
- Relaxation time/exercises
- Hobbies esp one you can share with your loved one
- 1,5,10 year goals
Ive selected some threads and youtube clips that will help.
Google- (just read the first post of each)
Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it
Beyondblue topic if all else fails- be radical
Beyondblue topic a move to the country-why not?
Beyondblue topic he helped me for 25 years- Maharaji (includes video youtube clips please watch)
Many other maharaji prem rawat videos on YouTube
beyondblue topic worry worry worry
Thats a bit of reading. I worked 12 hour shift work when younger, it burned me out and contributed to some mental health issues. Best to act now.
Repost anytime. Ask any questions
Thank you so much, Tony. I will definitely give those suggestions a go and I have arranged an appointment with my GP for tomorrow.
Thank you again. 🙂