Completely and utterly alone

[AccidentlyUncontrolled]

I have a best friend and I know he cares just not enough to treat me like a human cause his feeling are the only feelings that matter. I’ve isolated myself from my family and I’m not good at holding other friendships cause I don’t like to talk to people and I can be emotional. I’ve been going to the doctors and we finally found a way to get diagnosed that I can afford. But now it’s more and more wait lists. I can’t tell if I feel like no one cares for no reason. Or if like my heightened emotions make me feel like I care more as I’ve always held people in a high regard to what I should. But now I’m just completely alone and I’ve never been this depressed in my life I’ve always felt lonely. But now it just feels like I have nothing. I pour myself into the things I have and they get worse while I don’t feel like I can do anything to get better it’s been years of this and I’m just lonely

[That Other Guy]

I'm sorry you feel this way.  It doesn't sound like your friend is much of a friend at all, if that relationship is toxic, is it serving you? I know I feel insecure and struggle to let go of people but this doesn't sound great for you.

I also find my friendships don't last, and I know it's hard.  Have you looked for ways to meet people and try to make new friends? Are you able to maintain a social media account? I get constant bans for attacking bullies, but when I have it, I find it really helps me