My 93-year-old father-in-law and his children were advised following a stroke back in August, that he needed to go into a nursing home. However, he wanted to go home so the kids said they would give it a go. He has since also been diagnosed with dementia. Although he has people coming in to heat up some meals, shower him and get him ready for bed most days, he is still heavily reliant on his children. Only one of his kids, however, lives near him. The others are a minimum of 90mins away. One is interstate. We are not the ones living close. But we are not interstate - so my husband is travelling regularly to his father and staying away. If something goes wrong overnight, we are too far away to get to him.
I don't feel like I can say anything about how alone I feel without sounding selfish. We are both retired - and this is not the way I expected to spend my retirement. It is also costing us a small fortune in petrol, food - and time. I suffer from anxiety and have had to increase my medication due to the pressure of living alone far more than I thought I would without being a widow. The last time I saw my doctor my pulse was so high she immediately did an ECG to make sure I wasn't having a heart attack. I feel like I am constantly on the edge of a panic attack. And I am having moments of depression that I have not had for years.
I feel like my life is being run by my husband's commitment to his father. We can't plan anything without a family discussion of who is available when - be we are the only ones who consult. Everyone else just tells us when they can't do it, meaning that my husband fills in.
So essentially, I am stressed because of the situation and I'm stressed because I'm stressed by the situation. I don't know where to go from here.
