- Beyond Blue Forums
- Caring for myself and others
- Relationship and family issues
- Cant stop thinking about it
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Printer Friendly Page
Cant stop thinking about it
Hi Jules, Welcome
I'm 59yo, my wife is 51yo, most of my friends are females. I relate to females much better particularly emotionally. My wife isn't on Facebook, I'm on it say 2 hours a day. So my messages to females are frequent yet she doesn't know the content.
I asked her once if she wanted to know the content of my messages. She replied "I trust my husband". Just something to think about Jules.
The content of his message to her isn't, in my view, reflective of having an affair or wanting one. It might seem flirtatious and therefore is a concern, say something to keep an eye on but maybe over-reactive to do what you have done. With any such relationship with three people it is the one in the middle (hubby on this occasion) that should be the one to approach if you decide to, not the girl.
Hope that helps.
So happy you are ok. You've made my day. We are here anytime you need to chat. It's ok, you can pick up the pieces.
I put a post on here a few days ago about my husband trying to get in contact with his ex.
My husband is extremely flirtacious with women. And I am a very jealous person.
I have learnt that my jealousy causes more problems than his flirtaciousness. I somehow have to curb it otherwise it will be very bad for my relationship.
Perhaps we are in a similar boat.
Hi Jules73. I'm not sure how to control the jealousy. I still think about the message my husband sent to his ex as well as all the other flirtacious behaviour. And it's been made worse now that I've tried sharing my problem with depression with him and he has now rejected me emotionally and physically.
I'm currently trying to shut down emotionally from my husband for a while and just focus on me and the children.
Obviously this is not good or sustainable in the long term but I'm going to try and just cut myself a break and think if he goes off with someone else well that's his choice. I don't feel this deep down but for a few days I'm going to pretend I think that. Perhaps you could try the same and we could see how we go?
Keep busy, divert your attention, hobbies, sports, sewing groups, what ever. If you are convinced ther eis nothing in it then you need to get your mind on other things. Cheers