Cannot see any future

[RitaLee]

Hi, I am a 42 yrs old female mum of a wonderful 4 months old little boy. I have been married for a very long time and almost given up on being a mum but then my little miracle happened. I don't think I have ever felt better than when I was pregnant. I thought my husband and I could not be happier. I thought that we were going to make Australia our home now. I love Australia. I thought I was the luckiest person in the universe. We often joked on how we would be getting old and grumpy together and how our son would need to be patient.  But my husband was increasingly moody and irritable. I felt like he didn't want me around. He stopped holding my hands, hugging me at night, kissing me goodbye ... He stopped  loving me. Just like that, he is not in love with me anymore. I feel so much anger. I cry. I cannot see my future. My little boy brings me joy, his smile fills my heart and I just love being a mum. But I just don't know what to do next. I feel lonely and lost and no one I can talk to. I want the best possible life for my little boy but how can I stay strong if I don't even know where I am going to live in the next few months???? I feel I have no choices anymore and no means to make new choices.  

[Jacko777]

Hi RitaLee,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling.

If you don't mind me asking, has you husband said that this is how he feels, that he doesn't love you anymore? Perhaps he is suffering from something? 

I am not a doctor but I think I know what you can do next; keep loving being a mum. Don't stop loving, you are a natural at it and if you can keep your heart in this place, loving your son, you can make the the rest happen. Because you love your son and because you have the ability to love you can go on the journey to find where you will live in the next few months, you have the choice to go on the journey with love in your heart or fear, you choose love. In terms of a accommodation, do you have family or friends that could help? There will be other options available.

Love to you and your family.

Jack