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Brother in prison, father absent

Community Member

Hi everyone

This is very new to me but have been inspired to reach out by someone close to me. Where do I start?.....

My brother has been in prison for about 1.5 years now and at times I find this hard to deal with. I need to be strong for him and for my family going through this too. We have been estranged for some time now as he was on drugs up until his conviction and as much as I wanted a relationship with him growing up I knew it was impossible with his lifestyle choice. I feel like I missed out on that bond big time. We have now had a chance to rebuild our relationship whilst he is incarcerated as he is now clean and sober. It has undoubtedly been the best thing for him though as I know without this experience he would never have gotten clean. It has been hard seeing my family go through this experience with him. In a strange way, it has brought us all together again....

My father is an absent one and I have never really known anything different from this. My mother is all I have left as she has raised me and my 3 siblings along with my stepfather. My older sister moved out when she was around 18 and even before that she was always out and never really home. I felt like I never really had a sisterly relationship with her until I reached my 20's. In my teens I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I used to get upset talking and trying to understand why my father abandoned us, but through counselling I have worked through it and moved on from it. Depression and anxiety runs through our family and I have been dealing with it since I was a child. I have good and bad days like everyone else. I have experimented with various medications, but found that counselling has really helped me the most.

For most of my life I have felt really lost and alone, but as I have come into my own I now feel a sense of self. Most of my friends and even my partner at times do not understand the things I go through on a daily basis, so that is why I feel this may help. We can't all be strong all the time, so I'm hoping this will become a good outlet for me.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

I am a new to this as well. I am 35 and I have aspergers I found out when I was 28 years old my mother did not tell me for a long time. I see the world in a different way to most and find it hard to fit in life and in to my family.

My mother for a long time was always trying to improve me my father has always tried.

I get very down and find my self hating my self because I feel that mum should have been given a child better then me so most of the time I tell people I went home with the wrong family. That's what it feels like.

So for a long time now I have turned to drink to make my self feel better and I drink a bit to much sometimes and my father has given up on me as I have on my self. That is just some of what is going on with me. It feels good to share with someone.

Community Member

Hi yona

Thank you for your reply.

I'm sorry for how you feel. You should never feel like you aren't good enough. We are all here for a reason, whether your family thinks that are not. At the end of the day, we need to make ourselves happy. I often worry about what others think of me but I am slowly learning that we need to start worrying about how we see ourselves as this is all that matters. 

It is nice to talk to people who won't judge you, but rather understand how you are feeling