Breakup depression?

[Meg1888]

It has been 2 months since my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. This breakup blindsided me with no warning and some very poor reasons on his behalf. He told me 'if I wasn't stressed this probably wouldn't be happening' and I believe that, he is currently going through a major life change and upheaval and wasn't doing well himself. I have hope that after some time to get his life in order we may reunite, however know that is very unhealthy thinking.

I'm struggling with feelings of intense sadness, lonliness and having issues eating and sleeping. I get out of the house every day but I feel somewhat like a walking zombie.

I have also lost my 2 best friends to this, I guess they struggle to know what to do or say to me? Or just prefer my ex.

My exs grandfather has also just passed away. I saw him as part of my family also. I'm grieving his loss while worrying about if I should (and feel I could) attend the funeral.

I'm worried that I may be depressed. Unsure how long these feelings are supposed to last, however thought I would be at least marginally better by now. Do you have any advice? How did you get over a tough breakup?

[geoff]

dear Meg, I'm terribly sorry that this has happened and I don't ever think there are many breakups that are ever joyous, because undoubtedly one person comes off worse than the other.
When someone is suffering from any type of depression then you only hope that your partner is there to support you, but when this doesn't happen and then leave, it's very difficult to understand why.
I hope that your 2 best friends aren't taking sides with your ex-partner, because if this happens it's seems like a slap in the face for you, or they could decide to leave the both of you alone, as they aren't able to know what to say or how to comfort you, unfortunately this does happen quite frequently.
I think it would be beneficial for you to attend the funeral, ever if you arrive a little late and stand at the back of the chapel, however it could be a chance for the two of you to reunite, but only if that's what you would like to happen, it's a tough decision to make, or whether you want to overcome your depression first.
In any situation if your depression has become worse by the breakup, or whether it was about the same when you were together, then it's important to get help for your depression, because it's not going to get any easier, and you won't be able to overcome this illness by yourself, although there maybe times when you feel as though that's what you have done, but it's so deep problems which none of us might not know of, but these that will be with you until a psychologist can edge away and find them, then explain how to handle them. Geoff. x

[Starwolf]

Hi Meg, good to meet you.

Break-ups are always distressful. They also stop us in our tracks to take stock of the situation. It seems this is what you are doing now.

You have recently suffered a major loss. Grief cannot be forwarded. It takes a while to adjust and get life back on track. But if improvement fails to happen, please do not hesitate to seek professional help. No need to let the situation deteriorate.

You say you have concerns about suffering from depression or feeling depressed. They're 2 different things. One is an illness, the other a temporary state of mind. I suggest you have a look at the Facts section, top left of this page. Doing the K10 test will give you an indication of where you're at. Of course, it doesn't replace a professional diagnosis. A GP appointment would be a good start towards managing the situation. Depression is a medical condition. It requires to be considered and treated as such. It doesn't just disappear.

So please take good care of yourself. You will then feel stronger to tackle other areas of your life that are causing you grief.

When people break up, those around them often feel the need to take sides...though it is unnecessary. This adds up to the feeling of isolation. Have you thought of contacting your friends ? Perhaps they have no idea how to approach the situation so taking that first step may let you know where you stand.

No need to suffer in silence. Navigating the forums is a source of solace for many. I hope it helps you too.

Great to have you on board.