breaking up a long term relationship

[tonyc111]

I have just broken of a 10 year relationship with my girlfriend who sufferes from depression I havnt heard from her in days I work away for 2 weeks at a time.
she has no support network and no friends to talk to and I know she is spiralling into a deep depression
last I spoke to her she said her live wasn't worth living any more and I am really worried about her and I don't know what to do

[Aaronsis]

Hi tonyc111

Firstly welcome and it sure sounds like you are really worried about your ex partner. I am wondering if there is a friend or relative that you can reach out to that could possibly go around to her house and see that she is ok?

Failing that you can call the police and express your concerns and they are able to do a welfare check, this will give you some peace and also allow her to reach out for some help if she needs to.

I understand that you have broken up and you are really worried about her, perhaps you could ask her to reach out to some of the wonderful services that are available, like Beyond Blue or even Lifeline if she is really not coping. I know this might be hard to hear and I do understand you do care for her still, however, she is an adult and you cannot force her to seek help not can you be her carer. If the relationship was unhappy and you have decided to end it that is your right, and it is sad and really hard and a very emotional time, but hopefully she can call on some friends or family to support her, even a Doctors appointment if she really is not doing well. It is wonderful that you care so much about her and you can still do that and perhaps check in with her now and then, however her healing and her future happiness she has to create for herself.

I am not sure if this has been helpful for you but please come back and chat some more and I hope that you can put a call into someone and get them to check on her to give you some peace.

Chat soon and hugs to you

AS

[tonyc111]

hi aaronsis
thankyou soo much for your reply I have since spoken with my ex partner and have tried to get her to get some support I'm not sure if she will I have been trying to get her to see a doctor/councillor for years.
also thankyou for putting my role in this situation into perspective the guilt of breaking up was weighing on my mind heavily and you just helped me a lot to see the reality of it thankyou again I really apreciate your time

[Aaronsis]

Hi Tonyc111

I am so happy to hear from you and that you have made contact with your ex and that she is as good as can be expected at this time. I am so glad too that she is safe.

I am so appreciative of your kind words and it is my pleasure to be able to give you some words of support or just to help put things into perspective. You are responsible for one person in life and that is you. You cannot make another person do anything and nor is it your role to. You can encourage and support but that is about it, her role to get well is on her, unfortunately if she chooses not to you cannot do much but listen and be a friend.

Thinking of you tonyc11 and hope you reach out here anytime you need to, we are here to give you some comfort in these times.

Cheers

AS