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Boyfriends never home

Community Member

Me and my boyfriend moved in together 3 months ago we've been together for 4 years. He works all day 5 days a week , I work casually at night 3-4 nights. I don't do much during the day I'm an artist I'm 19. So I wait for him to come home. A lot of the time he will go hang with friends or go home to his parents rather than come home to me. And on the weekend we will make plans but he always cancels to hang out with his friends,tells me to pick him up early then tells me he's getting a taxi home and doesn't get home till 3 am. Take this weekend for example. I had work and he told me to pick him up from his friends when I finished but he ended up coming home really late. We were meant to do a day trip on the Saturday but he woke up too late then he had a 50th lunch . And Saturday night he's out with friends again. All the while ignoring my texts and phone calls, never asking me if I wanna go out or hang out with them. I am taken advantage of I'm tired of always being alone waiting for him to come home. Im tired of having other people in his group asking me to go out and him not even thinking of me. I'm sitting here alone in our flat like every other weekend crying watching snapchats of him being out. I'm lonely and I've asked to be included but I dunno maybe he just likes having me stuck in our tiny flat by myself. I'm miserable

3 Replies 3

Community Member

Hi Sad artist,

It sounds like a pretty hurtful situation. I don't think he understands or cares about your needs. It is easy for me to say this because I don't have any feelings for him, and I know you must love him, but I think you should leave him.

Try to get in contact with your friends and family, take time to go out with them and even try to make new friends. Get involved with a new class, like yoga or a book club, something sociable. Get rid of the boyfriend to make room in your life to allow new friendships to come.

If you don't feel ready to break up with him, maybe try to talk to him about how you are feeling and ask him to include you. Tell him that it is wrong to leave you at home waiting up for him all the time. If he says he is coming home at a certain time, he should do what he said he would. Let him know how it makes you feel when he cancels plans that you have made together. If that doesn't help at all I really think you should consider leaving him... you deserve better.

If he is making you feel miserable, you are better off on your own, but spending as much time as you can with friends and family so you still have companionship and support.

Keep in touch, and good luck xo

Community Member

Hi sad-artist. Before you moved in, did you discuss your arrangements regarding his friends, your friends? It sounds as though he is rather selfish and just not thinking about you or your needs. Have you tried talking to him? Perhaps his lifestyle has always been casual and he just doesn't realize that your needs are important too. He sounds quite selfish, but if he simply doesn't realize he needs to start making some compromises, he needs to be told his obligations to you as his gf are just as important as his other friends. I'm wondering how his friends feel about his treatment of you, if they have actually noticed he is neglecting you. Perhaps, ask him to arrange a small get-together with some of his friends, that way, you will have an idea where you fit in his life. If he vetoes any suggestion of a get-together, you may have to rethink where you do fit in, in his life.


Community Member
Do you argue and have a lot of fights with him about it or not?
Because he might just be trying to get alone time by avoiding you and the situation at the time

In the end of the day, does he tell you that he loves you, or says goodnight or does small things that kinda add up?
To show you that he still does care.

Seems like an unfair relationship for you but it could be caused from dramas that hes just wanting to avoid and be with his mates