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Boyfriend has depression and broke up with me

Anna_Mac
Community Member

Hi. My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me last week as he is suffering with depression. I have tried numerous times to get him help but he wasn't interested. I didn't get a say in the ending of the relationship and whether I'd like to keep dating him even though he is suffering. He suggested we don't speak for several weeks. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get him back so I can look after him and also how to get him to seek professional help? Thanks

2 Replies 2

Jas-kay
Community Member

Hi Anna Mac,

I feel like your boyfriend does not really know what he is doing in the sense that his depression is clouding his judgement and he is negatively thinking of everything, including your relationship, unfortunately. It is also likely that he experienced lack of love and interest in anyone in general. Perhaps he just wants to be left alone and I say this because I can relate with wanting to shut everyone off. When you are this constantly down unable to love yourself let alone anyone else with lack of interest in life it is possible to think there is no use of the relationship or feel your partner is better off without you. However, the question is... do you know the reason he is depressed? Perhaps that can help him. If his work is too demanding for example, then maybe you can help and talk to his boss to offer him leave and allow the boss to give a ticket to a holiday for him (that you bought). You can also try talking to his best friends to see if they know the reason for his depression. You can talk to his family and research a psychologist they can take him to. Slowly as he does this and perhaps take anti-depressants and does things he likes he can be more himself again. Then and only then might it be a good idea to talk to him about you two. He might even beat you to it. What I know for sure though is that this won't be a permanent state of mind for him, especially if you or others help him. Good job on keeping faithful and strong for when he's feeling so low. It can be quite difficult but you being positive and not giving up on him is really grand of you as a girlfriend.

Anna_Mac
Community Member
So it's not stupid to hold onto hope for a bit that we can get back together? Some people are saying I shouldn't but 8 years is a long time with someone and I don't want to give up on us yet.