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Bipolar husband wants out of our marriage
I'm new on here. My husband is bi polar and recently been diagnosed. He refuses to take meds until he has sorted out his legal problems. He got into trouble with the law this was while he decided he wanted to move into his workshop. he is now on bail living in a caravan in our backyard. He now wants space from us (me and 10yr old son)
he recently meet a girl on Facebook who he has become involved in with this was after I got angry and told him to sort other living arrangements a angry moment I regret.
He now says I've pushed him away. And he wants space I'm at my wits end.
Thanks for listening
Hi Jayne. Your hubby seems to be at 6's and 7's wanting to take things one step at a time. Taking his AD's for his bipolar is important for his well being. That's a separate issue as far as his legal situation. Has he seen his Dr since he got into trouble? Perhaps you could make an appointment with his Dr and ask his advice as far as his refusal to take regular AD's. We all get angry when people push certain buttons and we say and do things we later regret. Until he sees his Dr and gets his AD's sorted, there's not a lot you can do. As far as this girl he's met on fb, it could be she is 'there' where he feels you're not. What I mean is, to him, she is offering the proverbial 'tea and sympathy' where you don't appear to be. I think your first call should be the Dr, he may possibly call hubby in and get the AD sorted. Once hubby is thinking clearly, hopefully, he will start to realize you're not the enemy. Being diagnosed with bipolar as with any defined mental illness, can be daunting. No-one likes think they could be 'mentally ill' (sorry if that is offensive), the stigma is scary. However, hopefully his Dr can help him accept he is definitely not mentally ill, and the AD's will stabilize him, he will accept for himself that he just needs help and it's nothing to feel ashamed of or guilty of.
Hi and welcome
Being bipolar doesn't define all of our actions. He likely is overwhelmed ATM and needs space. Whe n I feel the same, time is the best medicine.
yes do what you can to get him help and to take medication but if he has found a friend that he wants an affair with it won't be because he has bipolar. Just having bipolar isn't any help to the situation. If that makes sense.
You are so correct. Thank you for your advice.
Thanks for advice.
You sound so confused and stressed, and you have every right to be. I have bi-polar as well, and from my own experience it is urgent to get your husband on medication. Medication for bi-polar can be tricky - sometimes you have to try several combinations before you hit on the right one. What you need is a good relationshp with a medical professional you can trust (GP, psychologist, psychiatrist). You might not find the right person straight away - you might have to try several people before you find one who 'clicks' with you. At this stage it might be a good idea for you to see your GP to ask about relationship counselling, and get some support for yourself.
Your husband's behaviour can't all be excused by the bi-polar disorder - he might have underlying issues for which he needs counselling. It is certainly a wounding situation for you. You are very loyal and brave to give him support despite all the circumstances. I hope we will have another post from you in due course telling us that things are better.