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Bipolar 2 and hereditry melancholy
My name is Carolyn and I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 and hereditary melancholy and it such a relief and it makes soooo much sense. I've been on anti-anxiety medication every day since February 2016. I never thought that I would say this but I never thought that I would ever find an 'answer'. Some days are easier than others. Even though I'm on medication, there have been periods (spanning for up to 4 days), where I slowly spiral down into a numbing depression. I get scared each time because I'm worried if I'll be able to cope with this years from now.
I guess it doesn't help that my boyfriend has his own issues (PTSD, depression, anxiety - ex-Australian Navy). He has started doing it less but he used to speak to me like I was one of his Navy workmates (which didn't sit well with me). Until a couple of weeks ago I let it be known that I don't want to be treated that way. He has since changed his behaviour (in a good way), however due to his own personal issues, he has his 'moments' as well.
He is disappointed that I only have my Learners Drivers Licence, (I've had driving lessons and aren't good at it - this doesn't stop me trying though). However, as I'm not going about getting my Drivers Licence 'his way' he get's angry at me. I used to take this to heart but I'm slowly not doing this anymore - call it self-preservation. One example is my pay has to go into the my credit union account given that I'm an employee of this particular company. Every fortnight I transfer my pay out of my employee bank account and into our joint account. My boyfriend get mad and angry that my pay hadn't been transferred into our account. As it turns out there was a problem with the internet banking - my money came out of the account but it hadn't yet been transferred into our joint account. I explained this to my boyfriend and my pay eventually went into our joint account.
I'm slowly getting stronger (emotionally) and I'm not sure how I can make sure that I'm healthy and to be there for my boyfriend (with PTSD, depression, anxiety).
Welcome to the forum, there are many nice people on here who have bipolar and can relate to you.
I don't have bipolar, but my mother does, as well as paranoia, so my siblings and I have to be very patient with her.
I will say, despite your problems, you are a strong woman putting up with your BF and his issues and your own. Medication is a must with bipolar, it helps the sufferer to cope, but perhaps you could see another professional like a counsellor who can just be your listener, it would help since you are living with a guy with serious issues. I suggest you advise your BF to seek help too, ex navy, was he exposed to flashbacks if he was involved in combat, it can damaged a person.
Take your time in getting your licence, you got to do it at your own pace.
Have you got any family or good friend to chat to to help you feel better? It is good you seem to be getting stronger. I really hope you get get the better of your situation.
I hope my message helped you.
Hi Touille 🙂
Thanks for your reply.
Yes your message has helped. I have a really good supervisor at work that I can talk to.
At least I think that I'm getting stronger as when my bf came home tonight (after ignoring me all day) he has a habit of 'bossing me around' and then doing whatever he likes (like having pictures of his ex-girlfriend on his computer and making it obvious). He has said to me time and time again that he will do what he wants regardless of how it impacts on me. Alarm bells.
I'm happy my message helped and it's great to know you have an understanding boss.
If your BF's behaviour continues, sounds like the relationship won't work out long term, I have been there with a similar scene and ended it a year ago. Can be painful and stressful, but better for the long term. You need someone who respects you, kind, doesn't tolerate abuse towards you.
Anyway, I'm sure you will make the right decision.