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Becoming a dad to twins

Flips
Community Member
I've suffered depression anxiety for over 10 years had alot of ups and downs over my time now I'm reasonbly level but still have my moments, got married 4 years and now expecting twins this has rocked my world going through all these thoughts can I manage even when I struggle with myself at times ? Will I be a supporting parent ? How can I support the wife in these challenging times ?I'm very negative and think financially it' going to be too hard...
3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hello Flips, I'm so sorry that you are struggling with depression and anxiety for over 10 years with constant ups and downs, that makes your life difficult, please forgive me, can I welcome you to the site.

Expecting twins could be a real excitement or put you in a position of how you are feeling now, but when they arrive you may change and welcome them with open arms.

There are two issues here and the first one (which could be either of them )is your negative thoughts and this can be helped by seeing your doctor, you may already be seeing one, but they need to review your medication and suggest you see a psychologist on a 'mental health plan'.

This entitles you to 10 free visits per year.

The other important issue is your financial concerns, but if I can direct you to this 'government help for families with new babies', plus your doctor will also advise you of other areas to contact.

Hope all goes well.

Geoff.

kanga_brumby
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Welcome to beyond blue Flips I have fought depression for about 50 years now. Quit often feeling not worthy. Anxiety has only or recent say the last 20 years, I have had my level spots. Especially when I became a farther only 20 years ago.

I had all the doubts how good a farther a I going to be, How a I going to cope when I have these demons of doubt and depression and anxiety. Plus my partner had the same issues and a physical disability as well. So I really had to step right up to the plate. Take care of one other adult plus one child then another. I was doing quite well with it. Till my partner passed away from complications from a chest infection, after she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

Then it really got interesting. A hole new ball game. Having to school two children etc failing health. Other parents ( mainly women) forming clicks. Talking about extensions and going to the Jim. Me trying just to have a conversation with someone, Some of them thinking we know what he is after. That was then though I had to focus on the children Which I did even with the critics snapping at my heals. I have done a great job.

You wont know for a few years. Some people are just natural at doing parenting. There are others who should never be allowed with in 100 miles of a child. I think you would be fairly good at it by what you have put i your post.

Kanga

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Flips,

welcome to the forum and congratulations about the twins although I understand you are concerned.

Geoff and Kanga have given supportive and helpful comments.

I would add contacting a local parents of twins club who help with practical and been there done that support. I have cousin who has twins and he said that twins club was very helpful before and after the birth.

I can see you are caring and are concerned about the future . They are good points.

Even people who do not have depression worry about having one baby let alone twins.

Does your wife know how you feel? it would be helpful if you can talk things over with her as I am sure she has her concerns too.

Feel free to post here when you want to.

All the best

Quirky

G