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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Elisabeta Boyfriend crying out for help but is isolating himself
  • replies: 5

Hi,I've only been with my boyfriend for 4 months it's been nothing but amazing. We went away together 2 months ago for 2 weeks it was great except for a few moments he was really distant, I thought this was him being bored of me. The week we got back... View more

Hi,I've only been with my boyfriend for 4 months it's been nothing but amazing. We went away together 2 months ago for 2 weeks it was great except for a few moments he was really distant, I thought this was him being bored of me. The week we got back he was so distant we barely spoke and made a few comments about his mental health being bad. The following week the same thing, then the next week he sent me a snapchat of a place he tried to commit suicide at. I completely freaked out and said I'm here for you and I'm all ears like I did the previous weeks but again he kept pushing me away, I said some things I now know aren't the right things to say but never came from a bad place I was just frustrated as he kept saying he's fine and has always dealt with being like this. 2 weeks go by and he's still super distant when we're not together so I message him and ask if he's over me and he said no.. anyway things escalated because I have anxiety and have a fear of him leaving me. The next day I drove to his house and we spoke for hours, he was really angry and told me he'd need a few days but still loved me...it's now been 3 weeks and he still doesn't want to see me (hasn't directly told me no) but he keeps reaching out and telling me he's mentally in a really bad place and just wants someone to talk to but completely ghosts me when I suggest we meet up. I'm not sure if I should give him more space when he's ready to see me or just show up at his house again like the first time. He's never had anyone be there for him before so I think deep down he is just scared. Is it bad to just show up at his house again without telling him? I don't want to push him away if he's not ready

Corey1995 I don't know? Anymore...
  • replies: 4

I don't know how to feel anymore. I don't know what to think what to say what to do. I'm so torn up inside that I feel isolated. My name is Corey and I'm 27 years old I have a beautiful wife 25 and a gorgeous daughter 2. My wedding is coming up this ... View more

I don't know how to feel anymore. I don't know what to think what to say what to do. I'm so torn up inside that I feel isolated. My name is Corey and I'm 27 years old I have a beautiful wife 25 and a gorgeous daughter 2. My wedding is coming up this Monday on the 31st it should be the happiest day of my life but fate had decided to send my mother to ruin it she has never accepted my love for my wife she has lied and emotional minuplated myself and my side of the family against me. She has called me a liar in my own home and growing up she claims everything she does for me is for me but it's seems it's always about her my entire life has been about pleasing her and yesterday we had a fight because she blow up at my wife and I defended my wife I will admit I told her to get out of my house with nasty words in there but I have been push to such a limit I can't take it anymore. I feel miserable and lonely my wife says she said by my side but I don't what she truely feels I don't know what much else to say I'm not really a talker I don't handle feelings like this well. I don't why I'm even posting this here I guess you can say I'm at my last resort. I'm desperate for help someone who can understand me but my mother has turned Freund's and family against me and sacred that I won't be heard or understood. Does this make me horrible. Am I the problem. I don't know anymore I don't know how to feel how to think I feel every choice I make is wrong. I just want help before it's to late. I'm so sorry if this isn't what the forum is for I don't normal seek help or advice. I just don't know where to go or what to do.

Mawney change of scenery
  • replies: 2

My partner and I are planning a move to warmer weather anda better life. But his depression and anxiety is such that can't make a start on the house moving. I work full time so cant do as much at home as he can. He knows the move is good fir him ,but... View more

My partner and I are planning a move to warmer weather anda better life. But his depression and anxiety is such that can't make a start on the house moving. I work full time so cant do as much at home as he can. He knows the move is good fir him ,but its like he is frozen and is stuck talking about how much he hates where we are. I tryto motivate him but get nowhere. any advice.?

Pink-Swirl My Ex & his GF
  • replies: 3

My ex and I have 2 children together. When I was pregnant with them both times he was cheating on me with multiple women (which I had met a few times and even made friends with) from his workplace. While pregnant with my first son he would drop me of... View more

My ex and I have 2 children together. When I was pregnant with them both times he was cheating on me with multiple women (which I had met a few times and even made friends with) from his workplace. While pregnant with my first son he would drop me off an hour away to my parents for the weekend and tell me its so I can get some rest and company as he was working and although I didn't want to go he would find a way to get me to go so he could have his fun with the women in our bed. I had no idea this was happening until after 6months of having my second child. This had gone on for over 2 and a half years without me knowing. I found flirty messages in his phone. I confronted him, he lied and denied everything until I called one of the women who told me EVERYTHING. At this point we had just recently been engaged, we threw an engagement party to celebrate with all our friends and family, one of the women who happened to be a friend actually came to the engagement party, i asked her if she would take photos of the night. She took 2 photos and never sent them to me. After finding out what had been going on I completely lost all emotional control, I could not believe it! I was so hurt and fragile as I was going through post natal depression also and everything felt so heavy. I ended up forgiving him and staying with him for another 10 years. This was very hard as I was always so paranoid, lost a lot of self esteem, but over the years built myself back up and finally worked up the courage to leave. I very quickly started a new relationship and remain very happy after 2 and half years of being with him. However. My ex moved on quickly too and we have a 50/50 care arrangement for the boys. Over the past 2 and half years I have watched my ex sit back and let his Girlfriend take majority of the responsibility for the children when they're in his care. I finally worked up the courage to say something about this as it is so wrong! This backfired because I had made friends with his girlfriend over the past 2 years and now his girlfriend Hates me for speaking up. She has been very abusive and hurtful. I have been called so many awful names by her so much that I had to block her phone as it gave me such trembling anxiety. I never said anything mean or rude to her. Just that the children would be better off in my care more than 50/50.

Vivian2302- Emotionally unavailable
  • replies: 12

I have been with my partner for 8 years. When we first started dating he was kind, romantic, expressed his feelings quite well, and openly. About a year into our relationship he cheated. We worked through it. Over the years however, he’s become very ... View more

I have been with my partner for 8 years. When we first started dating he was kind, romantic, expressed his feelings quite well, and openly. About a year into our relationship he cheated. We worked through it. Over the years however, he’s become very emotionally unavailable. Whenever I bring this up, he gets defensive and will say things like this is how I am if you don’t like it go find someone else. I often feel like I can’t communicate my feelings or insecurities as it just turns into a fight and he gives me the silent treatment.I don’t feel like I’m asking a lot, I just want to feel secure and have reassurance from him. I’m feeling very emotionally exhausted and any advice would help.

FeathersnFluff Christmas & Grandchildren you cannot visit
  • replies: 5

I wondered if there is anybody else on the Forums who have had to cope with not being able to personally hand their Grandchildren their Christmas presents. My son who is currently separated from his wife is still going through the Mediation process t... View more

I wondered if there is anybody else on the Forums who have had to cope with not being able to personally hand their Grandchildren their Christmas presents. My son who is currently separated from his wife is still going through the Mediation process to put a Parental Plan in place. He will probably see his two boys Christmas Day and can certainly pass the gifts on but I am afraid my husband and I won't. Our Grandchildren are two and three years old and we have not seen them for seven weeks. I was thinking of putting a laminated photo of my husband and myself on top of the presents. ....would that be appropriate or should I just hand the presents to my son to pass along with us knowing we had remembered them even if they didn't know who the gift was from.

Earth Girl Someone thought something I said was aimed at them
  • replies: 7

Several years ago, I was annoyed at some people I went to school with because I didn't like the way they were treating me and I said something online about them that wasn't nice. Another woman thought it was about her and was really hurt by it. I tri... View more

Several years ago, I was annoyed at some people I went to school with because I didn't like the way they were treating me and I said something online about them that wasn't nice. Another woman thought it was about her and was really hurt by it. I tried to apologize twice. The first time it wasn't received well and she thought what I said was still aimed at her and I'm not sure what happened after the second time I apologized. Have you ever had something like this happen to you and what did you do about it? I found out this woman has a Youtube channel, but I don't know if it would be wise to contact her from there and try to explain things and apologize again.

aprilmay three years into relationship and no sex
  • replies: 2

My partner and I have been together for upcoming up to 3 years (both mid twenties), and we have never had sex. I have tried to speak about them about this but they have always responded with there has never been a right time and how it is too much pr... View more

My partner and I have been together for upcoming up to 3 years (both mid twenties), and we have never had sex. I have tried to speak about them about this but they have always responded with there has never been a right time and how it is too much pressure in the moment of it and tends to blame work for stress (but it has been 3 years). I have tried to initiate but get turned away - I am respectful of their wishes. They also suggest the idea of being more intimate when cuddling, but then they get freaked out and scared. I was thinking they may have no desire to be intimate, but then again they say they want to. I love them dearly, but this feels more like a best friendship than a relationship. I just don't know what to do, because it is important in a romantic relationship, and I have tried so many times to understand their concerns but seen to be getting nowhere. They sometimes even blame me saying it's my fault with being too tired after starting a new job. Just wondering if anyone has been in the same situation, and what to do

G.P Is breaking things in an argument normal in a relationship?
  • replies: 9

About a week ago my partner and I argued about a comment that he’d made about our wedding plans that we had disagreed on. The argument escalated and neither of us could contain our emotions. For him that was punching a hole in the wall. While for me ... View more

About a week ago my partner and I argued about a comment that he’d made about our wedding plans that we had disagreed on. The argument escalated and neither of us could contain our emotions. For him that was punching a hole in the wall. While for me it was howling and crying. We both later realised that it got really out of hand when it didn’t need to. A few months prior to that, we were in an argument as I was in a sour mood and my negative energy, wallowing and self-pity got him frustrated. Similarly the argument escalated quickly and he broke the glass of the dining table. I’m scared to be judged, but is this normal? Both of us are at fault here – me for being overly anxious and pessimistic and not seeing beyond myself, which then means he absorbs my energy and doesn’t know what to do with it. And I guess him for not being able to have a handle on his emotions or outlet to let go of the frustration and anger easily. I find that his temper builds up quickly and it can be unnerving. I don't know how we can manage this better, what I should take from these arguments and how to avoid this again. G.P.

Llv I'm very lonley..
  • replies: 34

My girlfriend and I drifted apart over a series of months. At the beginning we were very close. Always together or if we weren't she would call several times a day message each other back and forth constantly. After living alone for so many years I a... View more

My girlfriend and I drifted apart over a series of months. At the beginning we were very close. Always together or if we weren't she would call several times a day message each other back and forth constantly. After living alone for so many years I appreciated that she wanted to be there for me constantly and wanted my attention. But while she was around me her phone would ring constantly and it would be her other 'guy' friends calling. She would sit there right in front of me and let them flirt with her she made no aptempt to stop them you could hear their sleezy voices on the other end of the phone. Sometimes they would call while we were in bed. Soon enough she was spending time alone with these friends instead of me. I tried to confront her about it and tell her how worried I was how obvious what was going on and I was not going to stand for it. It would always cause an argument and the answer back always was how special her friends were to her and nothing was going to get in the way of it. I never felt so low in my life. She told me these guys were telling her to leave me. I could not understand how you could say these things back to somebody that is your partner. It was gut wrenching to hear. I allowed this behaviour to continue and stayed in the relationship for several months feeling humiliated ashamed all the way. Naturally our intermate life does right off we spent less and less time together spoke less and less. In the end I fell asleep after work exhausted one Friday night. We were supposed to spend the night together. I awoke at 2am in a panic realising she wasent there. She would only come to see me weekends by that stage sometimes once a week. I missed her terribly everyday. Put my head in the sand ignored what I thought was going on but we bickered constantly about it which only drove us further apart. The last Friday I fell asleep after work we were supposed to be spending the night together. When I awoke I panicked and messaged her. There was no reply. I had to work the next Saturday morning we had planned to go Christmas shopping that day. I spoke to her when I finally was allowed to go at 1pm after having an argument with my boss to get out. By this stage I was feeling very uneasy and stressed I was really wrapped in this girl and was so worried I did not sleep at all after I woke up without her.