Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

jon74 Struggling with relationship breakdown
  • replies: 2

Hi l have recently come out of long marriage . My ex controlled nearly every aspect of my life. She continues to by refusing mediation for the property dispute. I was hospitalised twice due to suicide attempts late last year. I just can't see any way... View more

Hi l have recently come out of long marriage . My ex controlled nearly every aspect of my life. She continues to by refusing mediation for the property dispute. I was hospitalised twice due to suicide attempts late last year. I just can't see any way to move forward with my like. She has also turned our adult children against me

Romes88 I wrote myself off when pregnant, but I still can't stop
  • replies: 3

I think I have alcoholism. It definitely runs in my family. But ever since having kids I've realised I have a super unhealthy habit of drinking to numb myself. I got completely blind when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and unfortunately it didn't d... View more

I think I have alcoholism. It definitely runs in my family. But ever since having kids I've realised I have a super unhealthy habit of drinking to numb myself. I got completely blind when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and unfortunately it didn't deter me. I am my own worst enemy and I can't understand why I keep going back to alcohol. She is the light of my life, and now I can't believe I ever put her in danger, but still things get hard and I drink. I get a night alone, I drink, just to feel numb rather than feel the rage. Rage of two young kids pushing buttons. The stress of constantly cleaning up messes. The guilt of snapping at my kids. The grief of not being myself and not knowing who I am anymore. I know it will pass, but being in the thick of it sucks so so bad.

Beccahadz I think I’m in an abusive relationship
  • replies: 4

My partner came home from work angry today, and lost his shit when I had no cigarettes left (I had a 30 pack yesterday, and yes I know that is really bad). In his defence, I had taken a few off him and I need to pay it back. Then he lost his shit aga... View more

My partner came home from work angry today, and lost his shit when I had no cigarettes left (I had a 30 pack yesterday, and yes I know that is really bad). In his defence, I had taken a few off him and I need to pay it back. Then he lost his shit again but this time telling me the shows that I watch do no good for me when I’m home. I usually clean the house and do the washing on my three days off from work. He’s been yelling at me about my lack of communication, and I know I need to work on it and I have been trying. But sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells, and I can’t tell him that because I’m afraid he’ll lose it at me again. I love him so much, and if I lose him I’d be super depressed.

JustAnYtka Food Shaming
  • replies: 1

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one o... View more

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one of my traits is that I have a very restrictive diet and very few safe foods. So tonight I ate pretty much of all my dinner except for a piece of tomato, but I'd already had a few pieces and I was full. About an hour after eating, I went to get a bit of chocolate for dessert and couldn't find it. Now my mum has a really frustrating habit of hiding foods that she thinks I shouldn't be eating without even talking to me about her concerns, so I knew that she had hidden it. I asked her of she had and she said yes. So I asked her why and she told me that I eat too much unhealthy food and not much healthy food. This is true, but that tonight I was really proud of myself and I guess I just wanted to treat myself a bit. She said get a piece of fruit. This type of conversation is really really frustrating and makes me loose trust in her because she knows about my struggles and the actual diagnosis behind them. She always says eat what you can and when you can but then later on gets mad at me for eating unhealthy or not enough.Another thing that frustrates me is that if she didn't have an actual diet (she's recovering from a stomach bypass) she would be eating worse food than me, and she did pre surgery. She would get upset with me having a small bar of chocolate every night but then she would go eat a whole box of chocolate icecreams. Right now I'm so frustrated that I want to scream and cry and yell. Thanks for reading,Ber

Bill of Silence Half Sister Stalking me
  • replies: 6

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workpl... View more

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workplace and their reputation by her using their letterheads in her emails. She has abused everyone helping me and obtained over 300 emails from the Public Trustees to accuse me of breach of the stalking caution, when it is the opposite. As she is a psychologist everyone does what she wants, even the Police. I told the Police these emails are confidential and private and cannot be used as evidence. As they are to do with my father's inheritance as this half-sister is not related to him. Again, a Hostile brother sends her an email with no mention of her name but the Police Assume it was about her and use it as evidence against me. As she is a psychologist the Police Always side with her. Over her actions after 2017 she has put me in hospital and driven me to a state of Suicidal Tendencies and the Hospital psychologist can see what she is doing is illegal. That now after getting mental health support and I feel a lot better, by just ignoring her and blocking all contact with her. My Late father's friend can see that I have done nothing wrong, but she will not stop stalking me until I am deceased, so she claims my father's inheritance. I am Happy and enjoying my life and this Angers her, and I have a lot of support. Not going to waste more money on Solicitors. So, I am waiting to see how this develops. Has anyone got any advice what to do? I just cannot escape her and as she is a psychologist it makes it harder.

-B- This marriage feels so unfair
  • replies: 2

I never thought that I would be here. I am in my 30s, married for less than a year to a man I had an affair with. We have a new baby together and after 6 months following his birth, I am back at work full time supporting my new family and husband's 1... View more

I never thought that I would be here. I am in my 30s, married for less than a year to a man I had an affair with. We have a new baby together and after 6 months following his birth, I am back at work full time supporting my new family and husband's 17yo (from prev. marriage) that the ex-wife kicked out of home. I have welcomed this kid into my home with open arms and he has no manners, no hygiene, contributes nothing and I cook, clean and do his washing. I am burnt out, feeling neglected and taken advantage of. My husband quit his job to care for our baby full time. I try so hard to push myself every day to perform at work, care for our family and be a loving wife. The second I express that I'm stressed or need help, my husband takes offence and distances himself from me. Even if I'm sobbing on the bathroom floor, I am ignored. I am always the one to approach him, apologise for being emotional and bridge the distance. I am emotionally exhausted. Is this normal for new mums to feel so neglected? If I didn't love my husband as much as I do, I would be asking him for a divorce. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Echtis A few things.
  • replies: 1

Hi. I'm 24M. Unlike most other people my age I live on my own and have since I was 17/18. This is because my parents, or rather my mother, was incredibly abusive in ways that I won't go into detail here. My father wasn't abusive, but he did nothing t... View more

Hi. I'm 24M. Unlike most other people my age I live on my own and have since I was 17/18. This is because my parents, or rather my mother, was incredibly abusive in ways that I won't go into detail here. My father wasn't abusive, but he did nothing to attempt to stop what mum was doing to me. On one hand, I hate both of them, and wish for nothing more than to never speak to them again. On the other, despite mother denying any of it happening, they treat me very well when I visit them on occasion, which unironically makes me trust them less. On the other, life is hopefully long, and things and people can change. I'm sure part of this is some form of warped attachment. I keep them at arm's length where I can safely disengage. Secondly, something I am slightly more uncomfortable talking about, is a friendship with a young woman who I actually quite liked. I'll spare the details, but I liked her, and it seemed she liked me, but I was uncomfortable and felt strange with the age gap between us despite us both being adults. She initially claimed to be lesbian, but quickly went back on it, and is now in a relationship with a young man. I was quite upset by this, and I actually wrote her a pretty mediocre love song before I found out she was dating someone. I am uncertain of what details I can or should post, so I'll say that we have very similar interests, dreams, personalities, etc. I get that I missed my opportunity, but I know it would really hurt her if I moved on as much as it would hurt me. I've really struggled to find connections, but obviously it is quite torturous seeing someone you like with someone else. I would be giving up a friend first and a romantic interest second. Either way, at least thought I'd share my thoughts and feelings at the very least, maybe get some advice from more level headed people as I do not have many friends and I am not getting support from the ones I have. Thanks.

Guest_2503 I miss my ex
  • replies: 4

Last month I broke up with my boyfriend whom I've dated for 3 years and have known since kindergarten (we are 20 and attend the same uni). He had told me that his mum disapproved of us being together, I pressed him for more information which he hesit... View more

Last month I broke up with my boyfriend whom I've dated for 3 years and have known since kindergarten (we are 20 and attend the same uni). He had told me that his mum disapproved of us being together, I pressed him for more information which he hesitantly gave me. I regret pressing him so much, but he's always been honest with me. He told me that she didn't like me because of my body (I'm 8kg over my ideal BMI). He also told me that she and a group of her church friends regularly get together and talk about how much they hate me, how fat and ugly I am and how they would never let their sons date me and urge her to break us up. She name-dropped a few of her friends who are also friends with my mother, eventually, the truth came out that she had lied about some of what they said in an attempt to make her son break up with me. She would berate him each time we went on a date and scream and harass him for it. He would reassure me that she can't control him but the knowledge of him possibly being swayed by her actions and words (some being lies) and knowing that there are so many people who hate me just because of my body (she barely knows anything else about me), was just too much to bear and I ended things with him because I knew there couldn't be a real future. I told him I didn't want to stay friends because it would be too hard to move on. I know it's probably the right decision, just thinking about him made me feel sick about myself. I didn't want to look at the person I love and instinctively be reminded of why I should hate myself. I knew that mentally I wouldn't be able to handle it long term. I've struggled with suicidal and self-hating thoughts all my life and now they're re-emerging from being triggered. I've also become obsessed with losing weight and have started restricting and purging occasionally. I also miss him a lot, our relationship wasn't perfect but it was ours, we built it up over the years, I was his best friend and he's the first person I've ever loved, it feels like we lost our agency, like something was ruined and we didn't even get to ruin it ourselves. I've texted him once since and he was very curt, I don't think he saw me breaking up with him coming. I don't want to date him anymore because I wouldn't want anything long term (with his mum being like that) but I miss him and I want him in my life, but it'll be so hard to go back to being friends because of our past feelings.

Talitha93 Just not sure what to do
  • replies: 7

hello. I haven’t posted here in a while but I’m back in a little rut and I truly really don’t know what to do….. I am just feeling really lost an anxious like I don’t know what to do. Someone that I thought was my friend kept something from me but wh... View more

hello. I haven’t posted here in a while but I’m back in a little rut and I truly really don’t know what to do….. I am just feeling really lost an anxious like I don’t know what to do. Someone that I thought was my friend kept something from me but when I asked her about it she denied it until I heard it from someone else. She then said yes I knew but I didn’t want you to not go to the appointment. I was so hurt by this especially as we have promised each other to always be open and honest no matter what. I don’t know how I should be feeling. I have spoken to her about it and I’ve told her I was upset but she seems to think I don’t have a reason to be upset. Am I just being silly or not?

Ren_n My trio friendship is starting to fall apart
  • replies: 1

I've been friends with A and B since late 2021. At least 3-4 different times in our friendship, this exact thing has happened, but it feels worse this time. A and B have known each other years longer than they've known me. They share more interests (... View more

I've been friends with A and B since late 2021. At least 3-4 different times in our friendship, this exact thing has happened, but it feels worse this time. A and B have known each other years longer than they've known me. They share more interests (One piece, genshin, anime in general, they were even in the same classes) with each other than they do with me (drawing, writing, cats. ) We recently had a break from school, 6 weeks, in this time, B contacted me once, this was just a group chat message directed at others we talked to (4-5 people in the group chat, but we're not as close with the other 2.) A contacted me 3-4 times, once for their birthday and 3 other times through discord memes because they were bored. I learned at the end of the holidays that they spoke nearly every day and even went out of state and to the same location for an actual holiday. This pissed me off a little, because every time I tried to arrange stuff with them, someone always cancelled. This was before, during and after the holidays, best seen when I pushed for us to go see a cat cafe sometime. In September. We organized for the middle of October, and then suddenly everyone else cancelled. I tried to organize again before the new year, but everyone else cancelled. Tried to organize again sometime this year, but everyone is busy. Yet they made time to hang out as a duo. We're back at school, we have 2 breaks between classes which add up to about 70 minutes. Usually we talk during this time, very often A will talk about A and B's common interests, anime, one piece, genshin. I try to participate but it doesn't work out often because I just don't care about these topics at all. This results in A and B talking whilst I stare at the ground for 70 minutes every day, 5 times a week. I hate it, I hate listening to them talk while they forget I exist. There's clearly a duo in our trio, and that's A and B. I want to find out why this happened, and go back to normal, but I don't know how. A is so loud and talks about themself and their interests so much and B laughs along, there's no room for my input or discussion about my interests too. They don't even notice when I'm gone. I hate them but I love them, I'm their friend but also a stranger, I could never yell at them but I just feel like screaming until they understand.