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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Steve84 I don't know how to deal with separation anxiety
  • replies: 2

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues ... View more

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues and I'm being left behind. I don't know where to start

Tasa83 How to make friends in your 30’s w. BP
  • replies: 10

This is a question not a statement. I’ve always struggled to make friends and keep them and I have trouble trusting people and people of always bailed so now I just expect that everyone is gonna bail so I stand back a little bit or I get so excited a... View more

This is a question not a statement. I’ve always struggled to make friends and keep them and I have trouble trusting people and people of always bailed so now I just expect that everyone is gonna bail so I stand back a little bit or I get so excited about having a new friend that I’m too full on and scare them away. I know I need friends; it’s important to have people in your life that will be there for you when times are really hard and will be there for you in times when you need a good laugh, but in your 30s when you’re not working and you have a mental illness like bipolar, it makes things a little bit trickier there is no tinder for friends that I know of so how do you make friends in your 30s when you have bipolar? thoughts? my blog quote today was “I feel lik my whole life I have been waiting for someone to find me”

trappedinqld Dwindling relationship
  • replies: 2

My relationship with my partner is dwindling down to nothing. I have tried everything but I just can't shake the thoughts of leaving no matter what I try. She is not interested in couples counseling when I suggested it. We have 3 kids, two of them ar... View more

My relationship with my partner is dwindling down to nothing. I have tried everything but I just can't shake the thoughts of leaving no matter what I try. She is not interested in couples counseling when I suggested it. We have 3 kids, two of them are under 4 and they are what is keeping me inside this relationship. I can't bear the thought of not seeing them every day and being there to love and support them. Whenever we have discussed splitting up, my partner gets hysterical and starts to get quite irrational. Saying things like I won't get to see the kids etc. etc. My mental health is suffering big time and I just can't see the light in this relationship besides being there together for our kids. Can someone please give me some advice if they have been in a similar situation or what my rights would be in terms of the kids if my partner refuses to have good communication and understanding with me if we do break up. I am just so worried that I will not be in my kids' lives on a regular basis. Like at least a 50/50 split. It breaks my heart to think about leaving because I feel like my reasons are not good enough to cause this pain and disruption in my kids' lives as they have not asked for this and do not deserve this.

Flippy Depressed not having another kid
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found ... View more

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found that when our child was 1 and I realised that I wanted another, I slipped into depression over the fact they weren't interested, it took me 18 months on a self journey to find peace in one child, but a recent event of an unwell family member has made me realise just how much I want a second, and I feel myself slipping back into that obsessive state. Partner is not interested in counselling, but I am looking into it for myself.I've discussed this at length with my partner, and the reasoning is always the same. Don't get me wrong, I fully hear what they have to say, and I acknowledge and even agree that yes, things are a bit tight, physical family support is non existent and we would be starting again. Our kid is in school, they're happy, healthy and lovely to be around. We aren't old, but I am knocking on the 'geriatric' door if we were to have another. I don't know how to move past this. All my friends have 2+ kids, and I'm so happy for them, but it's just a slap in the face reminder every, single, day. How do I move past this? I love our triangle family, and I know having one means we could give our kid the entire world with no hesitations, but that pull for a second is deep.

Alice5 Overheard my Dad voice-phone google “Men looking for Men to have sex with”
  • replies: 6

last night I was on my couch and my dad was outside however he didn’t know the window was open and he said Into his google “men looking for men to have sex with” I was in so much shock as I’ve never ever had any thoughts that he might be bi-sexual or... View more

last night I was on my couch and my dad was outside however he didn’t know the window was open and he said Into his google “men looking for men to have sex with” I was in so much shock as I’ve never ever had any thoughts that he might be bi-sexual or gay. He has been married but seperated last year after 15 years, he’s been noticeably reclusive recently and not his usual self. The last few weeks he has been sick with various symptoms that I know realise sound like an STD, and possibly HIV. I feel a huge amount of anxiety to bring this up with anyone behind his back but feel so uncomfortable talking to him about this. I worry that he’s not mentioning gay sex to his doctor and feel like if he’s contracted something, I should suggest a blood test, so confused and stressed.

jono_3175 Anxiety, addiction, poor decisions
  • replies: 4

I’m 32, living with anxiety and alcohol dependency which lead to me making poor choices which affect my relationship with my family espically my son and partner. I just can’t seem to make my family happy and only comfort I get is after afew drinks. I... View more

I’m 32, living with anxiety and alcohol dependency which lead to me making poor choices which affect my relationship with my family espically my son and partner. I just can’t seem to make my family happy and only comfort I get is after afew drinks. I drink everyday and I feel it’s weighing on me feeling more anxiety and not wanting to socialize with anyone, or do the usual things I do. I don’t know what to do, my willpower is zero and I cave in all the time. Anyone else feel similar? My selfish ways of addiction impacting family relationships?

Carole T Estranged parent South Australia
  • replies: 1

Hi there I have been estranged from my youngest son for 5 years now since he met an international student, married and even though we invited her warmly into our home and family, she continued to manipulate him away from all of his family and friends... View more

Hi there I have been estranged from my youngest son for 5 years now since he met an international student, married and even though we invited her warmly into our home and family, she continued to manipulate him away from all of his family and friends. She has been both physically and mentally abusive. I have tried joining many groups but they are mainly in America.

porcelain blind, sad but stronger
  • replies: 4

I have been trying to help my husband for 15 years with depression. It is exhausting and heartbreaking and literally has broken me so many times. Basically I feel alone alot. He can get triggered by nothing it seems and it lasts for a long time. I ha... View more

I have been trying to help my husband for 15 years with depression. It is exhausting and heartbreaking and literally has broken me so many times. Basically I feel alone alot. He can get triggered by nothing it seems and it lasts for a long time. I have been holding out for him to get better and not be so empty so that he could love me, show me love. But it's not going to happen and that's it. He starts watering the plant, getting it to grow only to through toxic waste on it at random moments and destroy it (metaphor). Some of the hurtful awful bull**T things he has said to me, seems to be engrained into my mind. I feel like I have to try to get any affection from him to get what I crave. In his eyes I will be always the problem, which in itself is like a slap in the face, as I have been there for him and helping him forever. In contrast if I have problems or are feeling down, he is not the one to go to. I have had an ephiphany last week, that I have exhausted myself, I know what I want, what expectations I have and I will not tolerate treatment like this anymore. What will happen though? I don't know....

Mr K Am I self-Sabotaging?
  • replies: 1

As I write this I'm living with the constant fear of heartbreak. After overcoming a separation/divorce I've tried to rebuild my life/confidence and move forward.I had been enjoying a new relationship but more and more in recent times, I'm feeling ver... View more

As I write this I'm living with the constant fear of heartbreak. After overcoming a separation/divorce I've tried to rebuild my life/confidence and move forward.I had been enjoying a new relationship but more and more in recent times, I'm feeling very much like the lowest priority in that other person's life.She tells me constantly that she's busy and although that may be true, after all we are all busy; I firmly believe we should find or make time for the people and things that are important to us. Last Friday we arranged to all meet up for dinner she and her one child me and my two children. I had hoped a meal would lead to other plans/ideas for the weekend but what actually happened really left me in doubt.Randomly another of her friends was at the same venue with her children and their grandfather. She then invited them to join us and for the remainder of the evening, I and my kids were essentially ignored.I didn't hear from her again that weekend until Sunday evening when she told me all the things she had done and said I hope you had a good weekend and didn't just sit around. I didn't really have much to say, I was still frustrated by the seeming lack of care and feeling taken for granted. Anyway, I've heard nothing from her since in a weaponised silence kind of way and now I'm back on the forums wondering how to move forward in life if all it ever seems to do is set me up for heartbreak and disappointment.

1970 Mum is grieving
  • replies: 3

I don't know what to do. My mum lost her partner a month ago. She lives in the country and her neighbours/friends don't live there full time. My mum is also a drinker and I'm wondering whether she may have burnt some bridges there. She rings me cryin... View more

I don't know what to do. My mum lost her partner a month ago. She lives in the country and her neighbours/friends don't live there full time. My mum is also a drinker and I'm wondering whether she may have burnt some bridges there. She rings me crying that she doesn't want to live any more. I feel like I'm her only support and she expects me to 'fix' her situation. Then I feel lower than a snake's belly for feeling like this