Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

WineLips Grieving the loss of trust - Once a cheater, always a...?
  • replies: 5

Hello all, It's my first time posting here. I have been married for over three years now, we work very well together in balancing each other out and there is a lot of love in the relationship. I have always had generalised anxiety, and assisted mysel... View more

Hello all, It's my first time posting here. I have been married for over three years now, we work very well together in balancing each other out and there is a lot of love in the relationship. I have always had generalised anxiety, and assisted myself by focussing on the needs of others. The two years leading up to our marriage my husband was 'broken', working through a lot of things, severe depression, bipolar type 2 (with no highs/mania), different medications, hospital stays, I was there through the thick of it, giving my all and walking on egg shells, I did it because I loved him and knew what he could be. It left me ravaged, a shadow of my former self, physically and mentally. He is now a man who works full time, with little-no impulsive behaviours, he is not on medication and most days appears much saner than myself. Just recently I have called him out on a few occasions I thought he cheated, I was right. Prior to marriage there were a couple misadventures, they were one off things but they happened. He had denied these happening for so long. I'm not so hurt by the acts themselves, it's more so that he took so long to tell me and the fact that I was giving him everything when these things happened. His explanation is 'i knew I was going to marry you soon, so, it was stupid and I feel disgusted'. I can't look at photos of us from 4-5 years ago without feeling sorry for myself, I see this 19 year old, 48kg girl who had nothing left for herself because she was giving it all away, and for what? To be disrespected? I want to stop being untrusting of him, he has told me they were the only occasions and nothing has ever happened while married. But I'm scared because I'm aware he's denied misadventures before now. Is there anyway to know for sure he won't do this to me again? Any signs I can take as good reasons to reinstate full trust? I don't want to sabotage our relationship by being my own private investigator all the time. I certainly cannot have children like this, it wouldn't be fair. I just want to trust again and to be able to look at those engagement photos with loving eyes instead of disgust. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated, Thank you

Raphikus Sad, feeling hopeless
  • replies: 5

It's been almost 2 years since I split from my ex and I thought I would get out of this gutter/hole/void/whatever.... since then I have lost my job and everything. What makes it worse is that I miss my son and I don't see him very often and everytime... View more

It's been almost 2 years since I split from my ex and I thought I would get out of this gutter/hole/void/whatever.... since then I have lost my job and everything. What makes it worse is that I miss my son and I don't see him very often and everytime I think about him I burst into tears.... and now I have a girlfriend and I thought maybe this will get me back up to my positive self from 2 years ago and it seems like I am pushing her away as well... sigh.... life seems to be so much of a hassle and yeah... don't know what to do... don't know what to think...

lonleygirl doing it all on my own
  • replies: 3

Ok so I am normally quite timid about expressing my feelings & emotional but here goes. So my so called "life partner" did something quite selfish which resulted in him being locked up for 6months which he is still currently serving. He had his reaso... View more

Ok so I am normally quite timid about expressing my feelings & emotional but here goes. So my so called "life partner" did something quite selfish which resulted in him being locked up for 6months which he is still currently serving. He had his reasons for doing what he did which I will never fully understand or condone but I have decided to stick by him through it. I'm just having. Hard time with being on my own, I don't have any friends or support around me just my two kids (8yr old boy & toddler girl) sometimes I just have a hard time functioning in the norm. I have so many feelings rushing throughout me thease last few months from (happy,I can get threw this to depression, blame, rage & anger) I have always felt a little depression before this had all had happened from the things I had endured in the past but was able to keep myself busy with work & a hobbies , but now this whole situation has caused me to lose my job as I cannot get any help/childcare for my children & no one to watch the kids so I can just hop on my horse & go for a ride which always helped me when I was having a rough time. I am suffering more from the lonleyness this has caused me, I have tried to reach out to a few people, but I think my needyness right now eather is offputting or people don't like the fact that I seem weak right now even though I am infact the opposite I just need some one to talk too. It's hard raising two kids on your own struggling with the constant judge ment from family & on top off that . This year I was diagnosed with a autoimmune disease so running around to appointments & prison visits with a toddler is extremely hard also which adds to things . Would love to hear from someone going through or someone who has gone threw a similar situation & to hear how they got threw it because some days I just feel like giving up!!

Imageguy There is a light at the end of the tunnel
  • replies: 6

It's been a long time since I have posted anything the last time was Fathers day 2014. So I thought I would give an update on myself. Yesterday the Federal Circuit Court ruled in my favor. Finally someone has seen tho the lies and false accusations t... View more

It's been a long time since I have posted anything the last time was Fathers day 2014. So I thought I would give an update on myself. Yesterday the Federal Circuit Court ruled in my favor. Finally someone has seen tho the lies and false accusations that were laid on me by my ex partner. The last 12 months were a living hell since this all started. Not being able to see my doughter, loss of job, home and having my personal property taken by my ex partner from a storage unit and living on very little money every week. But it all ended yesterday. I will now get to see my doughter and I am happy. The rest the home gear job will all come with time. So how did I make it when I thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel? About 4 months ago I woke up one morning and decided to join a gym and I have been working out nearly everyday since lifting weights and doing cardio as well. Believe me my whole attitude did a 360 towards life. The fact was not lost on everyone who knows me. Today was my last appointment with my therapist as I now have a five year plan and a very bright future ahead of me. I will also continue to take that one little pill every night. So when all is looking bleak and you don't think there is any hope? There is go talk to someone, seek professional help, and before you know it you will be where I am today. I was a guy that was only minutes away from doing the unthinkable to myself. Have a great and happy life everyone. Imageguy

need_a_helping_hand Just dont know anymore
  • replies: 3

Im not sure where to start so ill just give some info. I have been with my partner for 2 years now. We have had 2 kids but lost the first.All thru the relastionship there have been her previous males that she used to see msging her and when i found t... View more

Im not sure where to start so ill just give some info. I have been with my partner for 2 years now. We have had 2 kids but lost the first.All thru the relastionship there have been her previous males that she used to see msging her and when i found this stuff i wasnt happy. it wasnt just a simple hi its more of sending pics to her and telling her they want her and she even flirts back!! i dont get it. we had our first and we lost him. I thort it made us even closer.Then i found her lying about stuff and then deleting txts saying that she has no privacy. I tell her about the msgs and ask why but she turns it around and makes it im the bad one. During the day if she is working i have to look after her other kids or the baby for the few hours at work. but now when she gets home she is on fbook and barley talks to me. always msging this one friend that is a female.When she goes out with that friend tho she is never on fbook and may send me one or 2 msgs??? she doesnt want to leave me but she pushes me away with everything, We have sex like once every 2 months. she says its because she had a baby. but if so why text other guys and delete them. are they flirting? I just dont get it anymore.I love her to the moon and back but this is slowly killing me inside. I couldnt live without my son so im not gona be the one to say its over. Im just so lost. Ive had a few past relationships where they have cheated or gone weird but my current partner gives me a feeling of love like none of the other ones.I love her to bits but cos of all the txts and secretness i find my self checking her fbook wall and her phone bill to see who she has msged. I hate this. And her friend is the type of person that would support her cheating on me. There is nothing i can say because it just turns to fights. She is defensive about every thing to do with msgs or what she did when she goes out with her friend.Am i just to paranoid? I have mates that have great relationships n when i talk it just seems they are like oh ok. I feel alone in this. My brother and sis knows whats going on and they have said to go straight to them if we break up but i still feel so alone.I dont want to leave her cos i cant stand to be away from both of my sons. I couldnt spread his ashes because if we did i would feel like i have lost him forever aswell. but at the end of the day when she is out i just feel like crying cos its doing my head in.

Lyndsay101 Trying to find a way
  • replies: 1

I am feeling so alone in this world. My relationship has foundered and I have lost a feeling of family, love and security. I am living on my own and due to a chronic illness I cannot work. I have two beautiful dogs and without them I would surely cru... View more

I am feeling so alone in this world. My relationship has foundered and I have lost a feeling of family, love and security. I am living on my own and due to a chronic illness I cannot work. I have two beautiful dogs and without them I would surely crumble. I am thinking of volunteering for the aged in my area but don't seem to have the confidence in doing that either. I don't have many friends and the ones I do are all busy with their own lives and families and I don't want to burden them with my feelings of rejection, failure and loneliness. I wanted to get on this site to listen to others in my situation and to learn from them how to cope and ultimately be able to help others with this issue. I have clinical depression for which I am on medication for but feel that it is not helping on some days when it really is bad. Just to have a connection to others is something I need to help me through these days. I would welcome any and all replies and helpful suggestions for my situation.

Trust_and_Care The Love of my Life
  • replies: 12

One month ago the love of my life left me. I was going to ask her to marry me. Only a month earlier we missed out on a house that we wanted to buy. I'm lost, I love her and her children dearly. They completed my family, as I have three children of my... View more

One month ago the love of my life left me. I was going to ask her to marry me. Only a month earlier we missed out on a house that we wanted to buy. I'm lost, I love her and her children dearly. They completed my family, as I have three children of my own. We were making plans for our future and our children. We both work in high stressful professions.

Humbled Humbled beyond my strength
  • replies: 6

Hello to everyone on this forum Sadly I find myself needing to share my pain as it has become too much to bear, over the past year I have been suffering from injury that has left me with constant pain up until recently two weeks ago that is, I had be... View more

Hello to everyone on this forum Sadly I find myself needing to share my pain as it has become too much to bear, over the past year I have been suffering from injury that has left me with constant pain up until recently two weeks ago that is, I had been told that it might be a lifelong thing, it has complicated my life with the need to start all over again from scratch and find a new profession at the age of 47 with no recognizable qualifications.I have a beautiful wife who supported me mentally and financially through this period and it was a dark period for me, I look and feel life very deeply and feel the injustices and lack of compassion coupled with greed are destroying not just the planet but society as a whole and truly believe we are at a crux point as the world is so far out of balance something must give.So many more of us so much technology so many ways of communicating yet we are so disconnected from each other. My partner of 23 years is a beautiful lady but she does not have the strength to listen to me dwell on the darkness in this life which is what I did over the past year as the pain weakened me physically and mentally on a daily basis, during this time one of her sisters has been battling cancer and it is not looking so good for her add onto that my wife was made redundant from a long time job with many friends and thrown on a daily basis to sharing every moment with me, it has been too much for her, menopause also complicates her emotions at this time to.My world came crashing down about two weeks ago just as I was starting to emerge through the pain my wife has told me that she has come to believe she no longer loves me and doubts that we have a future together, I have always thought myself to have a strength of will that would allow me to conquer most things in life yet I am truly humbled by how much I love my wife and failed to recognize this and show her how much I need her, she is a strength to me that I find I cannot come to terms with the loss of that love and all the uncertainty and pain it will bring if we part ways, I still feel that she has love for me but with so much pressure in her own life taking on board my pain has made her feel that life could be better without me.To say that this has humbled me is beyond an understatement I have been driven in the last few days to a depth of despair that has left me doubting that I can cope without her, it has taken me to a place where I contemplate the worth of life without her.

Maca74 WHEN THE PERSON CLOSEST TO YOU LEAVES YOU BECAUSE YOUR DEPRESSED
  • replies: 7

Hello everyone out there. I posted a few days ago and thank you for your comments and encouragement. Well it finally happened my wife gave up on me. I have been suffering from Depression and Anxiety for over a year. You can read my story from a coupl... View more

Hello everyone out there. I posted a few days ago and thank you for your comments and encouragement. Well it finally happened my wife gave up on me. I have been suffering from Depression and Anxiety for over a year. You can read my story from a couple of days ago. I would consider myself at the remission of depression if there is such a thing. I just got a new job which I love. I finally got my head in a good place. Then WHAM!! I have had enough ! I don't love you any more ! You are selfish ! I want to have fun! Etc etc So for all the people on this site in a similar situation or think you are heading that way. Here are my words of wisdom. Remember I am not a Doctor I am mearly stating what I know. The best thing you can do for the person you love is to educate them. As I found out sometimes they won't do it them selves and end up just being angry and confused. Tell the person in your life that it is not personal. It certainly wasn't with me. My issues had to do with a custody battle and work, but impacted the rest of my life. Communicate with your wife/ husband or friends and let them help. If they truly care as most of them do they can help you get through your bad days. Seek medical advice from your GP. Be open and honest about how you are feeling and don't be embarrassed it happens to more people than you realise. The biggest mistake I have made in the past 12 months is to educate myself and not others. Kept my important emotions to myself or only shared with my psychologist . I now have a wife who is angry at me and at the world. I feel responsible. I am sure this could have been prevented. Any one out there feeling the same. Please share as I would love to hear your thoughts.

will_never_love_again nassasistic break up i need help
  • replies: 2

Hello, This is my first time. it's late, as usual cannot sleep. too much heartache, hurt, confusion and worthlessness to get to sleep. I have so much to say, but the thought of starting from the start overwhelms me... in short... (can fill in blanks ... View more

Hello, This is my first time. it's late, as usual cannot sleep. too much heartache, hurt, confusion and worthlessness to get to sleep. I have so much to say, but the thought of starting from the start overwhelms me... in short... (can fill in blanks after you have an idea) after an earlier relationship break up following my 2 fantastic children (now 8 and 10) I met *andrew* after 5 years of being a single mum we took it slowly but fell in love some time after. things were great we were happy, he had a lot of time for my kids, we did things together, he was full of praise he was mature, had a job etc. after a year, we started talking about the next stage. prior to this relationship i didnt want any more children in fear of breaking up again. but he didn't have children we talked about it for some time. but eventually I loved him so much that I loved the idea I talked to my kids subtly about it and they have the idea they would love a brother or sister after trying/planning... i fell pregnant in march/April 2013 everything was fine. however after 12 weeks, and announcing it he started to act a little distant, he seemed frustrated a lot. we'd argue more out of no where, he was picking fights. deliberately booking things on days he knew I couldn't go then getting angry bc I couldn't. but making out it was my fault we dont do anything because I would be limited (I still liked to spend weekends with my children) then another 2 months later (in short) i found out he was going on a holiday overseas he told me only 6 days before leaving i was devestated he hid it he told me it was all for work etc. once I tried to get over that he then said we decided we would have 3 days relaxing too so now we going to Thailand as well and leaving earlier. I was devestated i couldnt understand why he hid this and made me out to look crazy for being upset. I was very suspicious. he left.. i tried to be supportive and hope to deal with it. he called when he arrived. but after that only time I'd hear from him is hours after I'd message. if that. then one morning I called to suprise him and say I loved him he was angry that I "woke him up" and that I still got upset. he hung up eventually I was a mess i felt as though he was up to no good. thinking it was pregnancy hormones i spent the next week emotionally ruined.