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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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MtoM anxious about my partner
  • replies: 4

i am always anxious about my partner. i never know what mood he is going to be in and i feel anxious all the time

i am always anxious about my partner. i never know what mood he is going to be in and i feel anxious all the time

tired_confused I'm exhausted, don't know what else to give to my relationship to make it work
  • replies: 6

I have been with my partner for around 4 years. We spend a lot of time together, our lives are entrenched; owning a business and living together. I am a motivated, hardworking, and mostly optimistic person. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to arti... View more

I have been with my partner for around 4 years. We spend a lot of time together, our lives are entrenched; owning a business and living together. I am a motivated, hardworking, and mostly optimistic person. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to articulate what has brought me to this forum. I am someone that likes to feel appreciated and needed, but over the last year or so I find my self regularly feeling taken advantage of or perhaps just unappreciated. While my partner at times acknowledges my contribution to our day to day lives or my role in our business, I feel more often than not that he feels that 'it's just my job' to look after our home, him or our animals, or to manage the business. I feel like I have to be across everything all the time. I feel like I'm my own biggest enemy, as the more I take on the more he unconsciously expects, I overload myself more and more trying to feel appreciated and valued and then just end up falling over in a heap feeling hopeless and overwhelmed when I don't receive anything in return. I don't ask for much, just a thank you or a smile, just some acknowledgement. I try to raise how I feel, but he turns my feelings being taken advantage of around, telling me I just do things for him so I can use it against him. I love him so much, but I can't keep living every day just trying to make someone else happy that doesn't consider my hopes and dreams, whether I am happy, sad or needing some acknowledgement. I find it so difficult to know what to say, or just what to do with myself, I hate the constant feeling of rejection and defeat, maybe if I left him he would realise how lucky we were to have each other. We have been having issues with intimacy, well mainly I have been having issues. I don't feel that kind of attraction towards him, I feel bullied and used and that doesn't make me feel like I want to get close to him. I've tried to explain where that comes from, but I think he just thinks there's either something wrong with me, or it's just a choice, like I choose to not wanted to be intimate with him. I'm so confused, I just don't know what else I can possibly give this relationship to make it work, I feel like I spend so much time worrying about everyone else, I don't even know how I feel anymore, and when I stop and think about it.. I'm unhappy, what does that count for.

Heyhey advise for mother in law causing my partner to be more depressed
  • replies: 5

Hi I have been with my partner for 13 years now and for the past 8 years he has been through some pretty low points but I have always been there helping and caring as much as I can but there is an area that is causing him more grief and depression an... View more

Hi I have been with my partner for 13 years now and for the past 8 years he has been through some pretty low points but I have always been there helping and caring as much as I can but there is an area that is causing him more grief and depression and I'm looking for help on how to fix it. his mother is a heavy smoker and she also wastes her money buying crap from the $2 shop or gambling it on the pokies and she is also on the dole so every fortnight she calls my partner and asked for money for smokes and as soon as he gets off the phone I can tell what she wants because my partner gets very sad, angry, upset and can't concentrate on anything he is trying to do. She always pays him back but she seems to not care about how it makes him feel and also what it does to our relationship as we can't afford to give her money for smokes either but his mum will call after a while and say how she wants to kill herself if she can't smoke so to stop her from doing my partners head in he gives her the money and this causes tensions between us at home. We both work and have a 7 month old baby to look after, we don't smoke, drink and don't go and treat ourselves to much as we know how hard it is to earn money in the first place. We have tried talking to her and told her we can't afford to do this and she needs to buy her smokes as soon as she gets paid before she waste money on other crap but she never listens and every fortnight my partner dreeds his phone ringing and seeing her number flash up. So any advise we can use to get it through to her would be great

Roo26 My mum is my Landlord
  • replies: 2

Hi I'm new to this but I will just dive straight in. My mum and I have been very close and I just recently moved into a rental property that she owns but now she is trying to sell it. One of the conditions of sale is that the tenants (my friend and I... View more

Hi I'm new to this but I will just dive straight in. My mum and I have been very close and I just recently moved into a rental property that she owns but now she is trying to sell it. One of the conditions of sale is that the tenants (my friend and I) are to sign an 18month lease. They keep stuffing up the lease and so we have refused to sign. Now my mum is getting really upset with me because she has basically said that if she loses the sale then it will be my fault. I don't know what to do or how to deal with this because on one hand I really want to help my mum sell the property but on the other I don't want to be stuck in an agreement that could be bad for me. I am so upset and anxious because I am starting to believe that this IS my fault when I truly know that it isn't. My mum has bipolar and it is hard enough to deal with her mood swings normally but I am really scared that if the sale falls through then she will go into major depression and I will be to blame. My anxiety levels are through the roof and I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I just needed to release it all because the tension was building up so much that I felt like I was going to explode but any advice or even just goodwishes would be really helpful.

arthurjames Advice for how to move on from ex girlfriend.
  • replies: 2

Hello there, So 3 days ago I split up from a girl I had been seeing for 2 months. Now I know I said she was my girlfriend in the title, but honestly I have no idea what we were officially. That's because she always had some fear of calling it what it... View more

Hello there, So 3 days ago I split up from a girl I had been seeing for 2 months. Now I know I said she was my girlfriend in the title, but honestly I have no idea what we were officially. That's because she always had some fear of calling it what it was. A month ago after we became 'exclusive' she started freaking out and from that point I had no idea what we were in her mind. But to me it felt like boyfriend girlfriend. We did everything that bf/gf's do together. Went on dates, stayed over at each others places, texted each other every single day, caalled each other pet names. Alas she finally called it quits and told me it was over. Now I am really struggling to move on. It was only two months but it felt more like 6, I was very attached and now I have such conflicting emotions. Logically I know it is a good thing we broke up because I realised a few weeks ago that she is a very selfish and immature person. I am not just saying that because I am upset and angry with her, I truly mean it. The best example is when I admitted to her that I had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety issues. You know what she said? She said 'I don't have the capacity to deal with somones depression because I've done it before.....' like seriously wtf? She didn't stop seeing me because of it, but it certainly felt like she didn't care and I really should have just ended it then. But emotionally I just can't let go. Everything is a reminder of what I have lost and I can't stop feeling like I stuffed it up and/or should have acted differently. She actually offered to talk to me in person about it but I refused because I can't bare to see her and I ended up deleting all contact and photos of her, and now I can't help but think I should have seen her so at least I might understand and its too late now. Please can someone help me out here. What should I do to move on and not feel hopeless about the future? This whole event has no helped my depression and anxiety issues.

Alli89 Lost, worthless, tiny and insignificant.
  • replies: 3

What does everybody do after u have done something ur parnter doesn't like (i wasnt aware i was doin anything) After 3 days straight awake suffering from insomnia, chronic pain from arthritis in both knees and back, i just got the crap blown outta me... View more

What does everybody do after u have done something ur parnter doesn't like (i wasnt aware i was doin anything) After 3 days straight awake suffering from insomnia, chronic pain from arthritis in both knees and back, i just got the crap blown outta me for not sleeping next to him.Explained to him wats happened and got told not to winge about it! Im just about ready to give up and become the broken silent person he wants me to be and it scares me as ive pulled myself from a pretty dark place, only to feel like im creeping back in.ive told him this and that i was going to go back on my meds and got shut down. When i was younger iwas never one to let anything get to me but it getting to the point where i cant stand to be near anyone especially him...does that make a nasty person?

Sleepy_moose Who can I speak to?
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm new here so I do apologise if this is a commonly asked question and I'm not even sure if this is the right website for this... Though is there someone that I can speak to in person about family issues for free? I'm terribly nervous on the pho... View more

Hi, I'm new here so I do apologise if this is a commonly asked question and I'm not even sure if this is the right website for this... Though is there someone that I can speak to in person about family issues for free? I'm terribly nervous on the phone and I feel like talking about the issue in person would be better for me. Some backstory -- Lately I've found myself sometimes struggling to get to sleep and often find myself getting so worked up over the family issues and just get left feeling helpless. I know this site's for depression and anxiety so I'm not sure if this fits, I just don't know where to go. Thanks, A Sleepy_moose

NurseLindsey New to the group
  • replies: 3

Hey Everyone. I'm new to this group but have been overwhelmed lately and needed to get some things off my chest. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, we dated for 5 years before marriage. I have a 9 year old son (from a previous marriage) ... View more

Hey Everyone. I'm new to this group but have been overwhelmed lately and needed to get some things off my chest. My husband and I have been married for 2 years, we dated for 5 years before marriage. I have a 9 year old son (from a previous marriage) and a 2 year old daughter from my husband. Lately I have been feeling like family life just isn't for me. Sometimes I daydream about joining a travel nursing agency and just starting over. I love my kids and would visit them regularly, but I just don't feel like this is the right life for me. Anybody going threw something similar?

Nervous86 Not sure how much longer this can go on for
  • replies: 2

Recently my girlfriend and I split up as a result of my cheating- I do deeply love this girl but have so many things going on I feel like I could never talk to her with out making her upset- my daughter lives in another state, the mother hates me, af... View more

Recently my girlfriend and I split up as a result of my cheating- I do deeply love this girl but have so many things going on I feel like I could never talk to her with out making her upset- my daughter lives in another state, the mother hates me, after I see my daughter I feel like I'm in a black hole and have nothing. But rather than ask for help I just push people away. I've been struggling for nearly 4 years and I don't see any reason to keep it up. I don't have my daughter, I don't have my partner. I put on a huge front to people cause I don't want people to see me as weak but I don't think I could lose much more with out reaching my breaking point. I don't what to do- I don't know how to even ask for help from the people that care about me. I don't think there's many left to be honest

diff new..massive life changes,and sickened by these unsure feelings..need help.
  • replies: 5

hi..im unsure how these forums work?? but I guess ill get the hang of it do I write my concerns here?? as id like to get help with them. ill start by a quick description?? about to have a baby,move and start a whole new life with someone...im terrifi... View more

hi..im unsure how these forums work?? but I guess ill get the hang of it do I write my concerns here?? as id like to get help with them. ill start by a quick description?? about to have a baby,move and start a whole new life with someone...im terrified to the point of sickness and anxiety that I rushed into this,as we have been horrible to each other for the past 6 months!! or so even more...this is all while I have been pregnant..he has changed now for the better after he has seen the destruction his words caused but I still know he doesn't get it as he doesn't understand his abusive nature at times...not always abusive..... I have not been able to shake this gut sinking feeling of feeling trapped,unsure,like this is wrong??? ontop of this I feel tremendous guilt about having these feelings as a new father to be should be adored by his partner...I don't even feel like being around him or his family at the moment and try not to be..and I don't feel happy at all about the future that lies ahead,even about this baby,that deserves better than its mother feeling this way. I am leaving a comfort zone to move with him which I know leaving it is good for me,but leaving it for him scares me as I don't know if ill be happier or better off emotionally and mentally...I was previously on medication for anxiety and depression the lowest dose..and have struggled with self worth feelings etc and getting my life together feelings for a long time now...along with anxiety. I had too get off this medication in the third trimester of this pregnancy and now I am struggling horrifically. along with thoughts that a previous partner I had would have been a better choice to make such a big decision with as in moving and a child etc..these thoughts have been getting gut wrenchingly stronger and stronger,I only started having these strong thoughts about previous partner when my pride,self worth and who I was getting squashed verbally by my current partner...I don't like being this person and I feel physically sick to my stomach about everything...I am scared for the babies health. I have previously had a strong struggle with alcohol after i dabbled in drugs in my 20s which I know caused me severe anxiety and unfocusness on my life...I have used alcohol to counteract a lot of the underlying issues...