Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

MK35 New member. Struggling with mental health after beak up.
  • replies: 4

Hi, just a quick introduction but I plan to post again soon. I'm 35yo and recently just separated last month from a short but intense relationship of 8 months. I'm feeling hopeless, useless, low self esteem, constantly feeling down. From what I've ex... View more

Hi, just a quick introduction but I plan to post again soon. I'm 35yo and recently just separated last month from a short but intense relationship of 8 months. I'm feeling hopeless, useless, low self esteem, constantly feeling down. From what I've experienced she seems like a text book case of bpd/npd and I've just been discarded.

Philip_b Advice and help
  • replies: 1

Hi guys Having a few problems in my life atm start I been told I had depression now for 2 years and never new I had it. But now I been told about it a lot of things make sense to me. I nearly die in Jan with bad phenomenal and had to spend 4 days in ... View more

Hi guys Having a few problems in my life atm start I been told I had depression now for 2 years and never new I had it. But now I been told about it a lot of things make sense to me. I nearly die in Jan with bad phenomenal and had to spend 4 days in I/C but now been told I could have diabetes from it now. And my wife separate from me and think this is just a excuse all so found out I could have A.D.D. So you can see March was not a very good month for me. I all so work away FIFO so it pretty lonely for me now as I have no family or friends here in my wife country. She said she hates the person I become and so do I but I never new I become this person which is the hardest thing to take in. We have 2 boys 5 and 6 years old and I have admit my problem and getting help and opening up about it. She says she want to do family things together but won't open up at all closed down completely and won't even speak with her mum and dad who live 10 mins away from us. She very hot and cold and leaves day by day she can't even look me in the eyes or talk to me properly without getting angry and runs away.and says it not worth trying even for the kids sake which I think we should at least try and so does everyone else we don't have much to lose if we do try at least we could try and save are friendship. Not sure what I should do I feel like packing up and moving back to the u. K and be around people who care on this dark path I'm on atm.And being away and not talking is killing me inside her parents understand my ruff time real unsure on what to do as I do care for her but she says she don't care for me but I can still see it in her but she won't open up and just given up without balking or making any plans she spending money like water and not thinking about anything not even talking kids into all this I know she tired as are oldest son has adhd and hard work but she so angry about everything lately and negative been her parents say that and told me to give it time sort myself out first but so hard as I can still see a future for us as I know my problem but she won't admit her problems

Ella78 Relationship Worries...
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am new to this site and to be honest not sure what I am looking for. Maybe I just want to get what's off my chest and for someone to listen or maybe it's more... My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we recently got married and ha... View more

Hi, I am new to this site and to be honest not sure what I am looking for. Maybe I just want to get what's off my chest and for someone to listen or maybe it's more... My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we recently got married and have a 2 year old son and one on the way. I am continuously finding out small lies and then big lies either from friends, family members or even just going through his phone (this makes me feel guilty). I am starting to question things and my trust has been completely shot and I don't know how to get passed it. I also have minimal help around the house, I do all he house work with no social life whatsoever. Am I being silly? I feel like I'm starting to get down as I continually overthink shit.

jojo05 Would you want to know?
  • replies: 3

I've already gone into the details of my separation from my husband so i wont retell it all again, what im after is a bit of advice on something I've recently found out. Last week i found out theres a strong possibility my husband has got the OW preg... View more

I've already gone into the details of my separation from my husband so i wont retell it all again, what im after is a bit of advice on something I've recently found out. Last week i found out theres a strong possibility my husband has got the OW pregnant, i know he wont come forward and tell me himself because hes not exactly the most honest man around but i think it would be the respectful thing to do considering we've only been separated for 4 months. I've thought about asking him straight out because i want to know if its true. We have been in contact most of the time since he left but over the past 3 weeks he hasnt contacted me at all and i think this maybe the reason, im just guessing thou. Would any of you want to know and how would you go about asking?

Alan2 Young Marriage Ending
  • replies: 2

Hi, My wife has told me this morning she can't go on with our current marriage. She has been upset with my lack of motivation and unwillingness to seek help for depression I suffer. I'm a musician and suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression pre a... View more

Hi, My wife has told me this morning she can't go on with our current marriage. She has been upset with my lack of motivation and unwillingness to seek help for depression I suffer. I'm a musician and suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression pre and post work, also we have planned to move overseas once she has finished her degree (she's a foreigner) and questions what I'll do when we go. We seem to have one big argument every 6 months (married 3 years) and I think my inability to change from those arguments ultimately has put her in this position. I cannot sleep, function or concentrate with this going on, she is staying at a friends because she thinks I will pressure her decision, I was so adamant that I will change. We regularly tell each other "I love you" but this seems an extreme and quick decision. I take a lot of the blame for not at least getting help for myself but can't help think that this is a dash decision, or have I just been blind to the fact. 3 years doesn't seem long and considering I thought we were still in the honeymoon period this is extremely shattering. I've booked in to see my GP regarding a mental health plan but if this all goes south as I fear, I can't see how I'll survive... Thanks for listening, I'm really struggling.

Lolah Newbie - The low down...
  • replies: 3

Hi, so this is my first post and it feels weird but I feel I need advice maybe, support maybe, maybe I just wanna feel respected, I don't know! I just feel a little lost. So here's the low down.. I've been Married for over 7 years now, I have a 1 yea... View more

Hi, so this is my first post and it feels weird but I feel I need advice maybe, support maybe, maybe I just wanna feel respected, I don't know! I just feel a little lost. So here's the low down.. I've been Married for over 7 years now, I have a 1 year old and am now pregnant with my second, 14 weeks along. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 4 years ago now, saw a psychologist then a psychiatrist who put me on meds and who did help me a lot! It took me a good 2 years before I did anything about what I was going through. I couldn't sleep and when I did I'd wake then toss and turn the rest of the night. When I did wake I'd wake shaking and jittery. I kept thinking I was dying, actually I convinced myself I was. Short of breath, heavy in the chest, dizziness, heart racing to the point doctors put me on heart meds to slow it down. I had to see a cardiologist cause they thought it was my heart..so you can imagine my anxiety! The panic attacks were terrible! After I got the help I needed I got better but the last few weeks have been real hard, I'm crying at least once a day! I feel I have no support from my husband, most times I feel I can't talk to him and when I do, he's like what's wrong now? Why are you crying? Get over it, geez you whinge a lot and that's just the start! He has said a lot of things to put me down and make me feel worthless. Early on he had a real bad temper, screaming at me throwing stuff, punching and kicking walls and back then I was very clear that he needed to get help or I was leaving! He did get help and he's a lot better now. I was terrified of him, I'd leave the front door unlocked just in case. But like he says, that's the past I guess and he has changed. I'm just feeling so alone, like no one understands me. I want his support and respect but I just don't feel it and looking after a 1 year old, being pregnant with the next and trying to manage things at home it's just so hard, exhausting! I don't want to leave the house most days. And I'm kind of feeling like my son doesn't want to be around me now he always goes to his dad. Not to mention my husbands mum irritates me I just can't tolerate her and I really don't want to see her anymore nor do I want my kids around her.. She's always making absurd comments toward me. If I mention it to my husband he never makes a stance for me but instead tells me to grow thicker skin. And that my family is no better. I'm sick of feeling lonely, sad, upset all the time..

monty I think my girlfrind may be working as a prostitute
  • replies: 5

ok so where to start. my names josh im 22 years old and have been with my gf for the past 6 months i love her alot and she means the world to me. up until recently we have had a great relationship, this was untill she started a job baby sitting now w... View more

ok so where to start. my names josh im 22 years old and have been with my gf for the past 6 months i love her alot and she means the world to me. up until recently we have had a great relationship, this was untill she started a job baby sitting now what first got me suspicious was she was taking sexy underware to work every day the stuff she only used to ware for me on top of that she was makeing up to 600 a day now when i questioned her about this she said the family are very rich the dad is a ceo of a large company and thats why they pay so much. still not convinced i waited untill she left her phone in the room with me while she had a shower i found msgs there talking about rosters and hours she needs to be in i also found a string of msgs from someone who said they were from her first day of work at "studio relax girls" from the same person was msgs asking when she is working and "i miss the way you make me feel" also replys from her saying im already booked up so you can wait or just see one of the other girls. armed with this evidence i confronted her about this she rejected it all saying its just a joke between her friends and she is doing babysitting. i however was not convinced so i called up this "studio relax girls" described her and made an apointment to go see a girl who matched her description. i got to the place and found her there in red lingerie she look shocked to see me i left the place straight away without speaking to her. about 6 hours later i turned my phone back on and she called me saying how sorry she was and that she DOESNT DO FULL SERVICES no one touches her and she doesnt touch them sexually and only gives back massages after a long discussion going over and over that she says she doesnt do anything sexual i took her back. she went a week without going there and ignoring there calls then she tells me se is going to work there doing nothing sexual only doing massrges like she was before i hated it so much i argued and had fights with her regarding it finally she said im working there get used to it or im leaving you. i am deeply in love with her so i backed down and let her do what she wanted regardless of how much it hurt me. she has done two shifts now since i found out the first time i smashed the living hell out of everything that was around me got angry and fell apart inside i begged and begged her not to go back but she did her second shift since i found out was today i spent the first half of the day in bed crying feeling sorry for myself and talking to her on fb i figured whats the point of this so i called up a good mate of mine just to go hang out and talk s**t i told her i was going and ill talk when i get back. so about an hour and a half goes by and she sends me a msg saying that she just had a one hour client i think ok stay calm she wasnt doing anything sexual its all ok, 5 minutes after that first msg she sends me one saying "i slept with him call me", i threw up died inside felt like i had been torn apart i was full of anger and sadness how could she do this to me i race home and call her as fast as i could. she then tells me it was only a joke and she just wanted me to call her because she miss me i could not believe it was she serious did she think this was funny. she tells me im over reacting and stop being so clingy. my question to everyone is am i just being naive trusting her? was she confessing to me then chickened out? how can i trust her? i love her and want to be with her but this is tearing me apart and i honestly feel like i dont know what to do

Lostgirl94 Am I being selfish?
  • replies: 3

Im currently 40 weeks pregnant and asked my friend who I live with to come to my 40 week antenatal appointment the other day, things have been a bit tense since living together and I wanted to lighten the mood a bit however when I got called in she b... View more

Im currently 40 weeks pregnant and asked my friend who I live with to come to my 40 week antenatal appointment the other day, things have been a bit tense since living together and I wanted to lighten the mood a bit however when I got called in she bought her 14month old into the appointment and I was basically chasing him around while she spoke to the midwife about her problems, I tried explaining to my partner that it was very frustrating and he told me I was being bitchy and selfish and she was a good friend so I should be nicer, am I right to feel this way I just want to cry I dont want to be a bad friend but I cant stand that she makes it all about her so much and my partner thinks its only because she doesnt have many friends, I just want a second opinion...

Ellie4321 Difficult time adjusting to blended family
  • replies: 5

Hi, Adjusting to my new life with my new partner has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I have been divorced for 3 years - and have been in a new relationship for two. I have come to the realisation that somehow my new life is a bit more... View more

Hi, Adjusting to my new life with my new partner has been a lot more difficult than I ever imagined. I have been divorced for 3 years - and have been in a new relationship for two. I have come to the realisation that somehow my new life is a bit more challenging than my old one. Our blended family has 5 kids: 3 teenagers boys and 2 young girls. My main issue (among all the other kids stuff) is to adjust to my partner's attitude towards my son. There is a lot of unfairness and double standards directed towards him, it's a bit mean really. Also my new partner gets very annoyed if I spend any time at all with my son (even things like gardening or attending to his sports practice). To make things harder, he is very nice to my daughter. My partner and I really love each other's. I just wish he could accept my son in the family. This situation has been stopping me enjoying our relationship and stopping me wanting to invest fully in our couple. I feel guarded, defensive, a bit paranoid and angry... I am getting very very very angry and hurt. Ellie Any suggestions? I feel like I am losing my mind.

Ariel_84 Destructive MIL
  • replies: 25

My MIL is a manipulative & destructive woman. She told my 4 year old to eat nuts when she suffers anaphylaxis, MIL & FIL took her without asking while on a family picnic & abused me for telling her it's unacceptable pointing her finger in my face & s... View more

My MIL is a manipulative & destructive woman. She told my 4 year old to eat nuts when she suffers anaphylaxis, MIL & FIL took her without asking while on a family picnic & abused me for telling her it's unacceptable pointing her finger in my face & she was going to wash her hands of me, while I was pregnant suffering hyperemisis in & out of hospital she turned husband against me & my family & also told my daughter to listen to nan & not mummy because nan is right, during my whole pregnancy she was relentless. The more ill I was the worse she became.. she even tried telling my family & husband I was suffering from a mental illness. She refused to acknowledge I was suffering hyperemisis & was only pregnant. When bub was born she refused to even acknowledge me giving me dirty looks. It was horrible. My husband is an only child. MIL has a strong hold over him. MIL has told me she's ending my marriage, taking husband away & we'll never seem him again, said my daughters allergies & anaphylaxis are rubbish & lies about everything. My 4 year old is seeing a psychologist & has been traumatised by MIl. My six month old has been exposed to MIL's abuse. Husband is conflicted. This woman seems set on destroying me, my children, my marriage, my husband. Husband would tell me she treated her dog better then him, that she never read or sang to him. She would manipulate husband & turn him against FIL. My 4 year old is questioning her allergies, speech has been affected & suffering from anxiety. Husband said he would confront MIL when she caused problems but she refused to listen. Husband still defends & makes excuses for MIL. I have taken steps to protect the children & I from MIL. Husband is being pressured by his parents I think he is suffering from depression. He doesn't cope well with stress. I know he needs support. It's such a horrible situation.