Relationship and family issues

He reacts with anger to my depression

replies: 8

This morning I just couldn't wake up. I had my 3 year old on top of me trying to get me out of bed and the 6 year old doing his own thing. It was still over an hour until we had to leave for school. My partner was trying to get up and get ready for w... View more

This morning I just couldn't wake up. I had my 3 year old on top of me trying to get me out of bed and the 6 year old doing his own thing. It was still over an hour until we had to leave for school. My partner was trying to get up and get ready for work but was so frustrated with what was going on. I guess he felt I should be up and chirpy and getting kids breakfast. I find it harder at the moment because I'm on a new medication as well. Rather than help or show any kind of empathy or understanding he just kept ordering me to get up in a horrible voice and then left without saying goodbye and slammed the door really loudly. When I already have depression this kind of thing spirals me into a worse frame of mind and affects the whole day. I have spoken to him about it in the past but he still just gets so angry when I'm not coping. I know he restrained himself this morning. It has been worse in the past. Wondering if anyone else has similar issues.

Just soo lonely

replies: 6

What does everyone do to deal with feelings of loneliness? I literally have no friends, not one. Both of my parents suffer some degree of depression and when i talk to them it just turns into a miserable conversation and i cant open up to them about ... View more

What does everyone do to deal with feelings of loneliness? I literally have no friends, not one. Both of my parents suffer some degree of depression and when i talk to them it just turns into a miserable conversation and i cant open up to them about how i feel about things anyway. Yes i have 2 kids so im rarely alone but it doesnt stop me from being lonely sometimes. I just lost my fulltime job, made an epic mistake a few months ago (out of loneliness) which has resulted in me being pregnant again and am already struggling financially. Id love to join a interest group but unfortunately i live in the country so it costs money to get there and then the group itself would cost money.. i try getting involved in parent groups and school stuff but i feel so bad about myself, my situation and the underlying fear that friends i do make will just use and abuse as has happened in the past.. Im really not sure what i can do to inprove my situation. Hoping someone has been in a simular situation and can shed some light on how they found some happiness

Having trouble coping a lost relationship.

replies: 1

Hello I'm new glad to be here. Atm I am having so much trouble coping my best 3 year relationship has ended 3 days ago. Have trouble sleeping, not eating enough and thinking of us in the past constantly. We use to do everything together but now it's ... View more

Hello I'm new glad to be here. Atm I am having so much trouble coping my best 3 year relationship has ended 3 days ago. Have trouble sleeping, not eating enough and thinking of us in the past constantly. We use to do everything together but now it's nothing... He says he loves me but he's heading a different direction with everything and hope to spend time as friends in the future. After we broke up he added back a girl who he cheated on with me back in 2014 on Facebook so wasn't impressed by that at all so I removed him off Facebook... I do miss him and this sucks but my emotions are going everywhere atm... Just feel like it's my fault cause I've told him you rather not see me at all ra ra ra...before the breakup all he wants to do is be around other people and not see me and that lead to the breakup... I just want a serious, long term relationship with someone. I don't what to do. Should I talk to him? Should I move on? Any suggests will help thanks. X

Confusing contact with ex after one month NC?

replies: 2

Hi all, im sure some of you saw my last post but basically its been about one month since my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We are both 21 and he felt that I was holding him back in life. I think he wanted to experience what it was like to be... View more

Hi all, im sure some of you saw my last post but basically its been about one month since my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We are both 21 and he felt that I was holding him back in life. I think he wanted to experience what it was like to be single and be able to sleep with other people - something he craves but never seems to want it for very long before he comes crawling back to me because he realizes it isn't that good (he has left about four time for about two weeks then come back). He feels like he is too young to be in such a serious relationship. In saying that, we love each other a lot, and I know there are things that would need to be worked on for us to be a good couple, such as me being too dependent on him, and him having more freedom in the relationship. So I have had no contact at all for four weeks, until last night I caved and called him. He answered and I said I was just seeing how he was going and was thinking about him. He was quite cold at first, and we had small talk, then he started to say how much he missed me sexually and how turned on her was getting just talking to me. I tried to change the subject but thats all he could think about, he wanted me to come over, and he also wanted to come over to my place. I said I cared about him too much to have a one night thing with him and that I couldnt give him what he wanted. He then started asking me whether I had slept with anyone else since we had broken up, and if I had he wanted to hear about it because it turned him on. I dont understand why that wouldnt make him upset or jealous or angry to think about? Once I was firm about my answer, he started to be a bit rude to me and said that he was talking to other girls. We got off the phone and he texted me saying it was best I didnt call him again because it messed with his head. He then deleted me off all social media. I am really confused and I don't understand what's going on or where his head is at. I really miss him and I will keep giving him as much space as he needs because I know it would be toxic for us to patch things up right now, but I dont know where to go from here. Any help or advice would be appreciated

Parenting marriage.......

replies: 12

Hi guys, Long story but will keep it short. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. He lives with the ex still. Still married, no relationship, not separated, together under the same roof financially and for the kids. He is FIFO, 2 wee... View more

Hi guys, Long story but will keep it short. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 6 months. He lives with the ex still. Still married, no relationship, not separated, together under the same roof financially and for the kids. He is FIFO, 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. He pays for the mortgage and the bills. She works fulltime. I accepted this as i was told the relationship was amicable. Sure doesn't seem that way now. Every time we make plans she undermines them. When he comes home from up north she tells him her social plans and that's it. If he and I have plans that clash we cancel.....every time. He never stands up to her because he is "scared of her". He says he loves me and wants a future with me but I am constantly feeling unimportant. I am feisty, he is my polar oposite. In my humbel opinion i think he has depression. I know the kids are priority and I have never disputed that. But where will I fit in? Am i a mistress? I have asked him these things up front and he denies and makes promises he never keeps. Small ones. The big ones - things are a bit early for those. Any help is appreciated. Ask any questions as well. Velv. XX

Emotional Affair

replies: 1

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else here has recently been through an emotional online affair and is suffering the same feel of loss that I am, I love my husband and don't want to lose him but am so struggling with letting go of the guy I was talking ... View more

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else here has recently been through an emotional online affair and is suffering the same feel of loss that I am, I love my husband and don't want to lose him but am so struggling with letting go of the guy I was talking to online, I feel so alone, so confused, so depressed, so overwhelmed and don't know what to do. I have just started counselling but this is like a drug addiction, I am obsessed and I don't know how to deal with these crazy emotions!!! Any help, support is so so so appreciated!! Dominos

Unrequited love (Because I can't say anything yet)

replies: 9

In a nutshell - and excuse all of the cliche's - I quite certain that I fell in love for someone who may be spoken for, and lives 2000km away. But before I get into the gritty details, a disclaimer. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone I know a... View more

In a nutshell - and excuse all of the cliche's - I quite certain that I fell in love for someone who may be spoken for, and lives 2000km away. But before I get into the gritty details, a disclaimer. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone I know at the moment. I'm not here specifically to find out what I should do, however, I will welcome input. That's primarily what this is about, and I need some positive communication on the subject. I just need to get some of these feelings, emotions, and thoughts off my chest. So let's dive into it: About a week ago, I met this wonderful young woman, about my age, through a close mate of mine, online. We played the same game/s. I gathered that she's nice and fun to talk to, she studies Forensic Science (Obviously intelligent) - So that ticks pretty much all the boxes. However, I can't say for certain whether or not she is in a relationship or not, although if I was a gambling man, I'd say she was. Now, after a week or so it doesn't feel like the right thing to do to ask that. Maybe it's a totally innocent thing to enquire about, and I'm just extremely anxious, which is entirely plausible. Regardless, for the past few days I've found myself almost constantly excited/anxious/lost/confused/happy/sad and a combination of all of those most of each day. I'm often either running through fake conversations in my head, or thinking about her, and this whole debacle. Side note: You may know when you enjoy someone's company or expected company so much you may feel some really intense buzzing. Butterflies, perhaps? It's at a point when it lasts for a good portion of each day at work. So the last few days I've been completely distracted by her. I've had a few relationships in the past. Finding the right someone during you late teens early twenties (you know hot it is). The last time I experience this kind excitement and anxiety was 2009. The buzzing and butterflies were so bad I would get incredibly nauseous. It affected me so much physically, it was hard to do anything but try and recover. So, although nothing may come (which is highly likely, and although I'm prepared for such an event, you can never be truly prepared - come on. lets face it.) I both really enjoy the feeling of what I can only presume are serotonin and the like supercharging me, It's affecting my work, and it also makes me fairly emotional, lest I distract myself completely. It's relief to be able to talk about this; and to strangers even. Go figure.

Family Issues to do with problematic behaviour

replies: 23

Hello I come from a large family of 9 siblings. Recently I have discovered that my oldest brother has serious bi-polar issues mixed with a real religious obsession for being right and supposedly having "divine" inspiration on any issue. His marriage ... View more

Hello I come from a large family of 9 siblings. Recently I have discovered that my oldest brother has serious bi-polar issues mixed with a real religious obsession for being right and supposedly having "divine" inspiration on any issue. His marriage of 50 years has just fallen apart...surprise surprise. I also have 2 sisters with similar behaviours without the divine inspiration aspect, and another brother who disappeared for 10 years, has arrived on the scene, and has very obvious intense obsession about his own self importance. Whenever he calls, the total conversation is about himself, his achievements and how great he is....although much of what he says is somewhat inflated in actuality. I have been very careful with my own behaviours and how I act toward others. I am seen as the "carer" or the most even tempered one by my other siblings, although I am one of the younger ones. I must admit, I am getting a little concerned that these behaviours could be catching. Is this paranoia on my part?? I'd be interested in others' comments

Cutting Birth family ties and anxiety

replies: 6

Hi, any thoughts you can offer about this will be greatly appreciated. I'm in my mid 50s and my brothers and sisters are 6 to 15 years older. My experience of family growing up was very different from theirs. They had left home and then our mother di... View more

Hi, any thoughts you can offer about this will be greatly appreciated. I'm in my mid 50s and my brothers and sisters are 6 to 15 years older. My experience of family growing up was very different from theirs. They had left home and then our mother died. I experienced chaos and abuse from my father and step mother (both now deceased). After many decades of depression, I now feel very anxious about everything in general but particularly family matters. We have never discussed anything about family or our mother and any attempts to do so have been swept under the rug. As someone who needs to have concerns and feelings out in the open and discussed, I have been shut down so many times by them. I am now not invited to family gatherings and now hardly see any of them because I will ask the difficult questions about why I'm being excluded and now almost shunned as if I am too difficult to deal with. Honestly I don't think I am and I would be the first to criticize me!! I feel so much better not having to deal with them and I guess they must feel the same. Is it ok to just let those family relationships slide? I feel guilty not making the effort but their comments and snide remarks make me so anxious. They are quick to put me down in very oblique ways. I feel I am still the little girl waiting for their understanding and encouragement and approval - I never got it then and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get it now. I get along well with my husband's family so I do have family and our own kids. I feel so different from my brothers and sisters that there's not much in common anyway and what was in common has all gone. It's much easier without them in my life. Has anyone experienced something like this?

I am in currently in the process of ending a relationship with someone who I believe has BPD

replies: 1

Hi, I just wanted to reach out. I am in currently in the process of ending a relationship with someone who I believe has BPD. He was diagnosed when he was younger but never sought help for it. I have this intense urge to make it all go away and stay ... View more

Hi, I just wanted to reach out. I am in currently in the process of ending a relationship with someone who I believe has BPD. He was diagnosed when he was younger but never sought help for it. I have this intense urge to make it all go away and stay but am terrified it will just always be the same. I've never been able to talk without him feeling criticised even if what I bring up is a genuine reason for anyone to be upset, such as not paying the rent that week. He just gets angry and I end up feeling so horrible I just forgive him. He has abused marijuana our whole relationship and when he says he'll quit it's only for a short period and does it behind my back. I feel unloved and unappreciated most of the time and the relationship is definitely not even financially as I work full time and him not at all so in turn I pay for nearly everything. I am so terrified to lose him but also so terrified for it to continue. I am hoping someone else has been in my shoes and can give me some advice. I have this overwhelming feeling of guilt that he isn't going to be okay if I leave because I still care and want him to be happy. Why is it that even though there has been multiple Occassions that it's been clear that I should leave or even feel hatred towards him that there is a huge part of me that just wants to stay and try and make it work?

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Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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