Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

SarahLulu Help with divorced parents
  • replies: 2

Hi my name's sarah and I'm 16. I need some help. So basically my whole life my parents have been divorced but I need some help so I stay at my mums on weekends and my dads weekdays. Every second monday I have late start at school so I'd like to stay ... View more

Hi my name's sarah and I'm 16. I need some help. So basically my whole life my parents have been divorced but I need some help so I stay at my mums on weekends and my dads weekdays. Every second monday I have late start at school so I'd like to stay at mums place. My dads fighting me saying no our house our rules and wont let me stay at mums because he said weeknights he wants me there and for everyone under 18 but my step sister whos one year older stays at friends all during the week and they dont tell her off. I feel they both want me to stay because then they get more money because of child support. My dad and step mum scare me a little should i be firm and say no im staying at mums or should i just say sorry to mum even though she'll be hurt and go to dads.

Guest_4DC6D4DC Friendship struggling. .. what have i done?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone i honestly don't know where ive gone wrong in my friendships. So it started out that i moved to a new horse aggistment place and was there for a while and made some friends that had the same interests as me so that was good. One specific ... View more

Hi everyone i honestly don't know where ive gone wrong in my friendships. So it started out that i moved to a new horse aggistment place and was there for a while and made some friends that had the same interests as me so that was good. One specific friend was the one who helped me abit through a tough patch with my anxiety. Ive recently moved paddocks and now they hardley talk to me. When i send a message it takes them a day or so to get back to me and when they do its very blunt or nothing to run off to continuea conversation. When i ask aome advice as they have had anxiety before and as they are older than me they have a bit more experience than me ao i thought id ask them but they pretty much shut me out and im sure they think im.annoying. recently one of my friends horses got hurt so i offerred to go down to help as they were really worried. But she just said another friend was coming but i was talking to the same friend that was suppose to be coming but she couldn't get there foe another two hours. They seem to leave me out of conversations too. I thought despite moving paddocks we could still be friends but im.starting to second guess it now Is there anyone who can give me some advice on what to do or if maybe im over reacting? AArre

ChristineS Sense of lonliness as I've always been single
  • replies: 4

I'm in my mid 20s and I feel more alone then ever. I've seen my close friends from high school less and less, and only have a few other friends that I've kept in contact with. Besides that I've never been in a relationship, and given there's been a l... View more

I'm in my mid 20s and I feel more alone then ever. I've seen my close friends from high school less and less, and only have a few other friends that I've kept in contact with. Besides that I've never been in a relationship, and given there's been a lot of pressure from relatives, I feel quite low as that has never been a real possibility for me. I don't know if it's been me not focusing on that so much until I start to see others in relationships, or just that I've dedicated most of my life to school and work. I know it sounds a bit silly to get worked up about this, but I often feel that I've lost out on something because I've always been single, or that I'm not worth anything because of that status. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Paris000 Marriage deteriorating
  • replies: 3

As I write this this morning, I am sad, sad because my husband (who has been battling depression for six years) have had yet another "mis communication" and are not talking and the air is quite hostile. He is on medication but refuses to speak to any... View more

As I write this this morning, I am sad, sad because my husband (who has been battling depression for six years) have had yet another "mis communication" and are not talking and the air is quite hostile. He is on medication but refuses to speak to anyone. He has no friends and keeps his family at a distance only wanting me around, but I'm an worn out working around his moods and his likes and dislikes. If I voice an opinion on something he says or does he always retaliates and turns it around on me and I don't know how to deal with that and go silent. This makes him angry and he withdraws and treats me like I am either not there or like he hardly knows me. I am still tangled up in the grief of losing my mom nine months ago, to whom I was very close and am feeling very isolated and lonely. I feel powerless to change the situation as he either won't discuss the problems as they arise or simply blames me. I have tried my heart out to understand what he is going through and I feel like I am being held ransom in a way as he has already made an attempt at suicide and that stops me from raising issues as I am scared any criticism I might mention may push him that way. I feel that as he won't talk to anyone he gets no feedback as to whether his feelings, actions or behaviour are normal or acceptable. He is a very talented man and I always make a point of praising his achievements and thanking him for anything he does for me, but I rarely get any compliments from him and romance is well and truly gone. In a lot of ways it has become a marriage of a sort of friendship with these awful days in between that seem to be getting worse and as the years go by I'm not sure if that I even feel married anymore. We had no children as he never liked them and it was never a subject for much discussion. To the outside world we probably seem quite a normal couple, going about the routines of work and home life, but the reality is not so.

Mazza_75 Family separation, loneliness and anxiety
  • replies: 4

First post so hello BB Forum I'm a male and father of two in my early 40's, have separated from my family once the marriage become too broken to repair and I had suffered around 18 months of lack of attention, affection and appreciation for the hard ... View more

First post so hello BB Forum I'm a male and father of two in my early 40's, have separated from my family once the marriage become too broken to repair and I had suffered around 18 months of lack of attention, affection and appreciation for the hard working and kind person that I am. I am mindful that my actions preceding that time, and our inability to work on our marriage together, were the reason for our disconnect. My ex-wife began a platonic/emotional affair with someone who to this day she insists was just a friend, even though after being separated for a short time has "just begun dating him". This has been going on for around two months and while I honestly want my ex-wife to be happy, and I certainly don't want to ever go back to the marriage, it has left me with serious trust issues, anxiety around people's true intentions and a deep sadness of the loss of our family unit to something that I was assured wasn't happening. I've had one short term relationship (around one month) which was fantastic but unsustainable. She realised that I hadn't been broken up for long enough and I had trust and anxiety issues and she had similar feelings after not getting over a previous relationship so chose to end it , but I thought I was fine. I've then fallen into a "friendship on steroids" with someone whom I've known for a long time and have always cared for and get along with fantastically but at the moment is emotionally unavailable, but I've found myself pushing her too hard and wanting too much too quickly and she has (quite rightly) withdrawn to get some space. I think I'm trying too hard for a connection to fill the hole of loneliness and hurt that I feel, and can't help myself for expecting too much too quickly. It hasn't helped that I've had some health worries and significant change and a large uplift in expectations and load at my work as well. All this seems to make me more desperate for attention/affection to drown out my stress. So now, realising that I need to stop chasing affection and let it happen organically, I am starting to feel that pain that I've been trying to drown out. I also realise that even when I'm pursuing someone, I'm paranoid about what they think of me, don't trust the words they have said to me and need constant reassurance, and now I'm starting to mistrust feelings that I've had myself. I see a possible future with my long term friend, but how can I trust myself? Any similar experiences you could share?

zodiacgirl Dating and being more open
  • replies: 3

Hey there, I remember posting here before last year about an issue I was going through and got some great and much needed advice . I've asked other people for advice around this, but I don't feel I have many older adults in my life you can give me go... View more

Hey there, I remember posting here before last year about an issue I was going through and got some great and much needed advice . I've asked other people for advice around this, but I don't feel I have many older adults in my life you can give me good advice, so hope I can find some here! Anyway, I feel like i'm ready to meet new people and start dating again, but I feel like I have trouble being open about myself and my life to people ? Would anyone have any tips on allowing people to get to know you ? I feel like this kind of stems from being afraid that if I open up more they may not like/reject me and I do want to overcome this.. Any tips would be great.

Rose88 My sister has cut me out of her life
  • replies: 7

I am in a place where I have no idea what to do about this situation. My sister (who I have only known as an adult as we are half siblings) has told me that she no longer wants to be a part of my life. She says that she can't be around me and see me ... View more

I am in a place where I have no idea what to do about this situation. My sister (who I have only known as an adult as we are half siblings) has told me that she no longer wants to be a part of my life. She says that she can't be around me and see me have so much success in life while she seems to get nowhere. She has been quite verbally abusive towards me telling me that I have never had to work for anything in my life and that I get everything handed to me (not true). She says that because she is envious of my relationship and education she can no longer be around me. She had a complete meltdown and I am worried for her safety as she has depression. I told her I love her but she said that she doesn't believe me because she doesn't believe anyone can ever love her. She said that she is a bad person and anyone who gets close to her sees it and hates her (also not true). Today our father contacted me and told me that she has also cut him out of her life. She offered very little explanation and I think he left the conversation feeling very confused. I feel like someone has died and so rejected. I love her but she doesn't want to speak to me. Any advice on dealing with this would be great. Also, I have generalised anxiety disorder and have suffered from depression in the past.

Summerchild But what about me?
  • replies: 6

My partner recently recognised he has anxiety/depression. I feel sad for him, that he struggles with this, and I desperately want to help him. We have good days and bad days and he still functions in every day life, goes to work, does social things i... View more

My partner recently recognised he has anxiety/depression. I feel sad for him, that he struggles with this, and I desperately want to help him. We have good days and bad days and he still functions in every day life, goes to work, does social things in the weekend. He isn't a talker and likes to figure things out for himself. He isn't ready for professional help yet.. he wants to try himself first, by doing lots of research, seeing what the pharmacy has to offer that's available without prescriptions. Sometimes he shuts down. Needs alone time, gets irritated by small things, doesn't communicate or outright gets angry with me. And even though I know this is depression it hurts. Because I'm always on the receiving end. And selfishly I think; what about me? What about my feelings? I don't say that to him but I think it... consider how I feel. Consider how hard it is to just sit by, knowing things you want to try are not going to work. How lonely I can feel when he isolates himself. What effect his behaviour has on me. How unfair it is he gets angry with me for just trying to help him. How about my feelings that are getting hurt? I'm not completely sure what I want with this topic. I know I can't say this, because my feelings are probably very low on his priority list plus it's not him but depression. I shouldn't take it so personally.. but I find that very hard to cope with. I'm a talker. I like to talk about things and getting it out there. And sometimes we do and we have such a good talk and we take 2 steps forward.. and the next day we go 3 steps back. It would be good reading experiences of other people in the non-depression position or ways to maybe communicate in a manner that doesn't cause a 3 day fight, that I have a hard time coping as well.

ST20050775 I cant tell this to anyone
  • replies: 8

Hi, This is my first post on here so a bit nervous of how it will go down. Basically I am a closet gay guy, 21. I am currently staying with a family who I had never met prior to staying with them. I get along really well with one of their sons and de... View more

Hi, This is my first post on here so a bit nervous of how it will go down. Basically I am a closet gay guy, 21. I am currently staying with a family who I had never met prior to staying with them. I get along really well with one of their sons and developed some strong feelings for him. I came home one night drunk and ended up having sexual relations with him. This surprised me because i had always thought i would never let the urgers get the better of me. We carried this on for a few weeks in secret which was some of the best few weeks of my life. One day he began to regret doing it because he felt guilty, and like myself didn't like the fact he was gay. Now and again we would do things together but the feelings I got from him were more bad than good when it was us 2 alone together. I assume because he still fancies me but doesn't want to fancy me, but i didnt find this out until a few month's after because he doesn't like talking about it. For me I find it easy not to be gay when im with the lads and he said the same. We both still have attraction to women. But as this went on I began to fall for him which scared me because I didn't want to fall in love with a guy, and I also didn't know if he felt the same. The other night I slept with a woman, and now he wants nothing to do with me. He says he doesn't care anymore which really hurts because I still love him. I regretted doing it before it even happened. But i felt i had to to keep up the persona of being straight. I thought he would understand because he always saif he'd be jealous but wouldn't mind if I slept with a woman. I still have to love another month with him and his family and I am now tearing myself up inside at the fact that he hates me for what I've done, and won't talk to me about it. I can't talk to anyone but him about it because its all secret. So I guess what I would like to know is am I a cheater and a bad person for doing what I did? And what can I do to try and get him back and cope with everything? because I would honestly consider coming out to the world if I was with him because i love him that much. Thanks ST

new_beginning So this is my life now?
  • replies: 6

No job, no friends, no hope for a better future. Ive always tried to be a good person, help those who've need it and yet i end up here. When will i ever get to be happy? Or is life just going through the motions until i die? Sure feels like it atm. View more

No job, no friends, no hope for a better future. Ive always tried to be a good person, help those who've need it and yet i end up here. When will i ever get to be happy? Or is life just going through the motions until i die? Sure feels like it atm.