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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Real1 Out of control!
  • replies: 15

I am in a bad situation and can't see the end of the tunnel! I have a long time girlfriend who lives 3 states away, she has this guy who's been after her. She sees him just as a friend, but he wants more. Unfortunately she is young and gullible, whic... View more

I am in a bad situation and can't see the end of the tunnel! I have a long time girlfriend who lives 3 states away, she has this guy who's been after her. She sees him just as a friend, but he wants more. Unfortunately she is young and gullible, which he prays on. Despite a 4 hour chat between them last weekend, (their second as they had one last year) this guy doesn't take a hint! He fronted up to me the other night, via SMS, and he revealed himself for what he was...which was the wake up call she needed to see his true side. He's soon to be her boss, my BIGGEST nightmare! I trust her, as I always have after 8 years as she's very moralistic, but him I don't! Some nights I lay in bed my head spinning and my stomach churning, it's a living hell!!! Is there any way to get a handle on this?

Fab4 Chronic sleep deprivation + 4kids & FT work
  • replies: 3

Life feels very very hard right now. I feel awkward to reach for support when I know so many people have bigger concerns than me. In many ways I am very blessed and lucky. I feel like life will be easier one day but right now I am struggling to face ... View more

Life feels very very hard right now. I feel awkward to reach for support when I know so many people have bigger concerns than me. In many ways I am very blessed and lucky. I feel like life will be easier one day but right now I am struggling to face each day, crying every day, feeling unstable, and unsure how to get on top of things. I have seen my GP every week this month and started anti depressants a few weeks ago. My extended family are completely unsupportive despite me asking for help and explaining how much Im struggling. My husband is in the same place as me. He is very helpful but we just feel like robots going through the motions every day. We have toddler twins and two primary school aged kids. 3 of the 4 kids wake multiple times a night. There are constant tantrums and mess. The jobs to be done are never ending. We are always running out of money despite earning reasonable incomes. We didnt plan on 4 kids. We didnt even plan on 3 kids. Thats a longer story though. Like I said - i should feel blessed. I just dont know how to navigate from this rut to the blessed place.

Dusty78 The anniversary of my mothers death
  • replies: 3

Its less than a month till the 1 year anniversary of my mothers suicide. i dnt know how to feel. i dnt know what to do. all my family is in new Zealand and know body around me knew her. all i want on her anniversary is to sit down and reminisce about... View more

Its less than a month till the 1 year anniversary of my mothers suicide. i dnt know how to feel. i dnt know what to do. all my family is in new Zealand and know body around me knew her. all i want on her anniversary is to sit down and reminisce about her but everyone is so far away. she had alot of troubles thro out her life. she was a functioning alcoholic. even she would admit alcohol was her first love. she fought her demons untill her last breath. i always knew this is how ahe would go but didnt think she would leave me at 24 years old. what about her grandchildren she will never meet what about when i get married.

Callie11 down in the dumps and don't know where to turn.
  • replies: 4

Hi, I've been living with anxiety and possibly a bit depressed for the past year, although I've only really accepted all of this in the last week. Im booked in to see a psychologist on friday but wanted to reach out to other people in similar situati... View more

Hi, I've been living with anxiety and possibly a bit depressed for the past year, although I've only really accepted all of this in the last week. Im booked in to see a psychologist on friday but wanted to reach out to other people in similar situations. Ive been with my partner for 2 and a half years, we are currently renting together. He is 33 and I am 24. About a year ago I found messages to a few different girls, one being his ex girlfriend. He was messaging her asking to catch up to talk about issues that were going on with him at the time. I was devastated and confronted him and he said that he felt that he couldn't speak to me about the issues as i come from a 'perfect family' and i wouldn't understand. One of the messages to another girl was talking about a time (before we met) that they has sex and he was telling her how amazing that night was and that he hasn't forgotten it. As you can imagine I was heartbroken and moved back home for a few days. He promised me he would never do it again. We both love each other very much but I haven't been able to trust him since, he doesn't understand as it was so long ago but he hurt me so much. I don't know how to trust him again. Fast forward to now... we are going through a very rough time, our relationship is hanging on by a thread. I wad tidying up his clothes and I found a fine in it from the police. He had been charged with driving under the influence of cannabis and meth. I felt sick to the stomach but instantly confronted him. He obviously had to admit to it and said he was going to tell me but didn't know how.. I don't believe he would have. Im pretty against drugs and really don't know what to do in this situation. I love him and I can't imagine my life without him but I'm not sure if I can be involved with a drug user.

BethOK Trust and Anxiety issues in relationship
  • replies: 3

My partner has shown reason in the past to not trust him. When i do trust him he lets me down. Im to scared to trust him cause i dont want to get hurt. We have tried taking baby steps to build trust e.g. him going out for a few hours with friends but... View more

My partner has shown reason in the past to not trust him. When i do trust him he lets me down. Im to scared to trust him cause i dont want to get hurt. We have tried taking baby steps to build trust e.g. him going out for a few hours with friends but it always fails on his end because he cant keep to his word and he is easily influenced by friends especially when intoxicated. Also when he drinks too much he doesnt know what hes doing and wont rememberthe next morning either and this exact thing his happened before where hes found out a week later that he had been unfaithful to me. So because of all this and my anxiety over it i dont let him go out with his friends unless I'm with him. I know thats unhealthy and it has gotten worse since we've had kids. Sometimes it feels like the kids arent a priority to him. He has said we would be better apart but we continue to stay together. I cry about this a lot especially when i think about losing him and being alone. I have family to turn to but i have no close friends that i can go to for extra support. We are both young (19 & 21) and have been together for 3 years and i feel like I've learnt to depend on him to much that now i dont know how to be independent and on my own. We do love each other and both don't want our family broken up. How do i learn to trust and get over my anxiety?

Seals101 Family no longer supportive - Possible jealousy?
  • replies: 3

Hi, I was always the black sheep in my family. I was rebellious and didn't pursue my education as far as my siblings did. I was also the one that was always getting into trouble. Now that I am grown up my life is going very well. I am the only one of... View more

Hi, I was always the black sheep in my family. I was rebellious and didn't pursue my education as far as my siblings did. I was also the one that was always getting into trouble. Now that I am grown up my life is going very well. I am the only one of my siblings to own a house and it's almost paid off. I have a well paying job, great friends and recently started my own family. I feel now that things are going very well for me that my family no longer listen or are supportive. For instance when my first child was born she was very sick and nearly died and my family weren't there for support nor did they respond when it's brought up in conversation. I feel that basically anything in my life that i bring up in conversation is ignored and if it isn't ignored they only have negative replies. It's like they don't want to know me or about my life. The negative replies are usually when I am telling them something happy and exciting that's happening in my life which makes me think there is some kind of jealousy happening. I have reached the point that I don't discuss any of the success in my life with them anymore due to the negative remarks. I feel I am the one in the family always caring for everyone else and helping them with their problems, which really is the only time I can connect with them now I want my family to be more involved with my children (Grandparents and Uncle/Aunts etc). I see other new mums getting so much support from their families however my family don't and it saddens me. I have tried talking to them about how I feel and they only half listened. I received a nod and "That sounds great" but it became apparent when wanting to spend the extra time with them that they weren't really listening. I now don't know what to do as I don't want to push it with them. I am expecting my second child soon and would love my family to be more of a part of my life. Should I just leave them be and accept them how they are or should I try to connect with them more?

Outdoorsgirl My husband has not spoken to me in 4 days and it's killing me
  • replies: 38

On Saturday morning my husband bs I had an argument. I was getting ready to have lunch for my birthday with my girlfriends and he stopped as I hopped out of shower wanting to be intamate. I said I couldn't because I was running late and he persisted ... View more

On Saturday morning my husband bs I had an argument. I was getting ready to have lunch for my birthday with my girlfriends and he stopped as I hopped out of shower wanting to be intamate. I said I couldn't because I was running late and he persisted to try to pursued me. I was angry he didn't listen to me and I said "stop putting your needs first" this trigger him to say that this is happening far too often (it's happened once before) and I should be putting him first not my friends. He said that if this keeps happening he is going to find get a girlfriend, someone who want to have sex with him. This really hurt me and I yell at him and shut myself in the bathroom sobbing. He followed me in and swore at me. I didn't go to lunch I was too upset and he went out for the day. He came home and got really dressed up and went out, he didn't come home until 1am.things have been a little tough in the last three months - we just had a baby and I'm struggling with his expectations of me keeping the house clean and caring for our child. We have fought a lot over silly things like me leaving glasses outside or not picking things up in a timely manner. It's making me start to hate maternity leave and want to go back to work. Except that I love my baby so much and she makes me happy when I'm with her.I don't know how to talk to my husband he keeps swearing at me when I say we need to talk about this. I am so sad and lonely and it's only been 4 daysany advice is appreciated

KiraRain 21, single, broke and now a mum...
  • replies: 3

Hi, i recently had my beautiful son just before turning 21. I haven't had any problems with depression since I was 14 and my parents had just separated, but I started feeling incredibly lonely and upset while I was pregnant. I was assured this was qu... View more

Hi, i recently had my beautiful son just before turning 21. I haven't had any problems with depression since I was 14 and my parents had just separated, but I started feeling incredibly lonely and upset while I was pregnant. I was assured this was quite normal, so my doctors basically blamed hormones. The father of my child hates me for keeping my baby, and decided he was going to pretend we'd never met. My friends are all 21 and act so young, all parties, boys and drinking. I felt so alone. Once my son was born, I was overwhelmed with love for him. But now that it's been a few months, I'm beginning to sink. I cry myself to sleep every night, I feel so alone even though I'm never by myself. I constantly worry about money because I'm not working and Centrelink doesn't pay me much since my son isn't vaccinated. I feel like no one understands, I feel like I'm a horrible parent, I feel like I'm selfish and cruel for having a child without a stable lifestyle. I love my son, but I hate myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I've never felt this bad before, and all I want is to give my son a happy life. I don't want to regret having my son, but what kind of parent am I? I'm sad and broke, what kind of life can I give my son? I just need reassurance that I'm not the worst person in the world right now.

IGottaRun I don't feel strong enough to care for my bf again
  • replies: 4

5 months back my boyfriend of nearly 2 years was badly injured at work. It's been a hard time and very straining on what isn't that great of a relationship to begin with. He has finally been able to do things for himself but his final surgery is soon... View more

5 months back my boyfriend of nearly 2 years was badly injured at work. It's been a hard time and very straining on what isn't that great of a relationship to begin with. He has finally been able to do things for himself but his final surgery is soon and after that he will be back to square one. Not able to move much. I'll have to do everything for him for a minimum 6 weeks. And I really don't feel strong enough. I'm getting a knot in my stomach at the mere thought. None of my friends or family really like this guy and I have been liking him less and less. Not because he's injured. His attitude is really poor. He used to spy on my phone. He is jealous and I'd almost say emotionally abusive. I've tried leaving once but it didn't stick. I don't know how I'm going to live with myself though if I left him now I'd feel terrible for abandoning him. . Advice. Help. Please

Utbh Mummy to a large family..
  • replies: 7

Im new here. Im a wife and mum. I have 5 beautiful children. I'm normally a happy go lucky, fun mum. But lately everything is getting to me, I cried myself to sleep last night I don't exactly know why but i think its because I feel I'm constantly bei... View more

Im new here. Im a wife and mum. I have 5 beautiful children. I'm normally a happy go lucky, fun mum. But lately everything is getting to me, I cried myself to sleep last night I don't exactly know why but i think its because I feel I'm constantly being judged and the past couple of weeks has been one problem after another.. i know it will get better and hopefully I will feel better, it just sux right now.. anyone else with large families, that find it a little overwhelming sometimes..