Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

sagelovet How to deal with a parent who has depression?
  • replies: 2

One of my parents has depression however my family only assume this because of the way they act. They are very quiet, sad, get angry easily, say bad things about people, unsociable etc. Sometimes this can get very frustrating as some of their actions... View more

One of my parents has depression however my family only assume this because of the way they act. They are very quiet, sad, get angry easily, say bad things about people, unsociable etc. Sometimes this can get very frustrating as some of their actions affects how my family works. If they are angry, everyone gets angry. Sometimes they are very unreasonable and my other parent doesn't like to say much as they like to keep peace but when they do speak, there is so much tension between the two of them and I feel like they would spilt if it wasn't for us kids... If we said anything to them about them having depression they would be very angry with us. They would not like to think they do and I think that's maybe why they're having such a hard time dealing with it. thanks for listening and any advice on how to deal with this would be great

Katey_A I need advice please
  • replies: 4

Hi, I believe I'm living with a narcissist. I more or less have a question because I don't know what else to do.. has anyone here ever reported their partner to the police for mental abuse? If so what was the process and what was the end result? I'm ... View more

Hi, I believe I'm living with a narcissist. I more or less have a question because I don't know what else to do.. has anyone here ever reported their partner to the police for mental abuse? If so what was the process and what was the end result? I'm desperate.! I feel so stuck and alone it's petrifying! I've been wanting to write here for a long time but I've been so worried he would somehow find it.. any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou so much

Trishizle Is is me or my head?
  • replies: 2

Hi All, okay, this is long so bear with me but it’s just been weeks and I feel that I am getting worse. As background, I have been on antidepressants for a few years as I tend to get stuck on a thought about something that I regret doing or something... View more

Hi All, okay, this is long so bear with me but it’s just been weeks and I feel that I am getting worse. As background, I have been on antidepressants for a few years as I tend to get stuck on a thought about something that I regret doing or something that I feel I done wrong and I can’t get it out of my mind for long periods of time even when my family/friends tell me it’s okay and not a big deal. A year ago, I started to date a really amazing guy that I’m still with and when I told my best male friend (who I was very close with and had kissed and liked romantically off and on but it never went beyond that and when I suggested to date just to get out of our system he refused which was fine and he knew towards the end I didn’t like him that way anymore) he absolutely lost it, threatened to hurt my boyfriend (who he had been friends with), was sitting in my room crying about it (my mum and him were close), said he couldn’t eat etc. I felt awful and still tried to be his friend. I feel so guilty now that I was still friends with him after and I start to worry whether I acted appropriately where I start thinking things such as “did I kiss him on the cheek?” after we made up as friends after his freak out. I don’t think I did at all and if I did it was just an affection thing not a romantic thing at all but I can’t get the thought out of my head that I did and it makes me worry that I’m a cheater even though I know I’m not and everyone tells me its okay (including my boyfriend). I also then started worrying that I had hugged him when we were okay and I feel like I cheated when I done that too and I just worry and worry and I can’t get it out of my mind that I should not have done that and that I’m a bad person. I just feel like crying all the time and I feel so sick. I wish I could just talk to my old best male friend about it but I have found out that he has been telling lies about me and has twisted stuff (e.g me lending him some cash which he took as “she still likes me” even though it was just cash and telling ppl he doesn’t even know well that I said ‘he is the best kisser ever’) and my closest friends say he definitely had some narcissistic traits so I know if I ask him he will probably say something to make himself feel better which wasn’t necessarily true. I just feel like I’m going crazy and wish I could stop thinking this much , am I feeling this bad because I did something bad or is it my depression that I can’t get this thought out of my head?

Rgreen Gambling loop
  • replies: 1

For the most part I hold myself together. Divorced, two teenage kids, all is well. But I can't defeat the secret gambling that seems to break apart any good I do for myself mentally. Why do I need to break it? I have the money, and I throw it away, a... View more

For the most part I hold myself together. Divorced, two teenage kids, all is well. But I can't defeat the secret gambling that seems to break apart any good I do for myself mentally. Why do I need to break it? I have the money, and I throw it away, and I feel ridiculous. If I just saved half my money, I would be fine! So I know I have a problem! Tried talking to someone, helped for a bit, but I am tearing what little sane self I have apart.

Crumbs Relationship advice / parenting
  • replies: 2

I am so confused and feel like I'm going crazy as my dh (husband) got really angry yesterday and it seems to boil down to this situation : If I (as a sahm) I tell DH in the morning that I am going to pick up my sister and have churros at the shops wi... View more

I am so confused and feel like I'm going crazy as my dh (husband) got really angry yesterday and it seems to boil down to this situation : If I (as a sahm) I tell DH in the morning that I am going to pick up my sister and have churros at the shops with the kids ... then while we're out, kid#1 asks us if we can go to the zoo and I txt him to see if he's ok with that... he says yes-as long as I stop home to look after the dog first, which we did, then went to the zoo... Is that EQUIVALENT to DH stopping by the pub/gym on the way home from work or having lunch with friends or doing anything without even a txt to say he won't be home at his usual time (or why)? He says everyone would agree that it is the same. Feel free to just write YES it's equivalent NO it's not equivalent

BeardedDad Loosing Direction
  • replies: 2

Hi. Most of my life I've had physical health issues, much related to being very tall, coupled with the usual mental issues and bullying when younger. The physical issues have been a lot worse recently and seems to be one thing after another, e.g.; di... View more

Hi. Most of my life I've had physical health issues, much related to being very tall, coupled with the usual mental issues and bullying when younger. The physical issues have been a lot worse recently and seems to be one thing after another, e.g.; dislocated knee (which impacted my fitness level), pinched nerve in back (again unable to exercise), migraines, late onset asthma (set off from hayfever), etc. Now, my wife has told me I am the source of majority of her stress and she believes we are falling apart due to my various issues, this coming after the night before having what I perceived was a great talk about myself and us as a couple being better. We have two girls who are my world, I am a stay at home dad for them having given up my career as my wife could not give any more time from her family business, but I love being an at home dad and wouldn't change a thing. However now I feel in an impossible place, where I don't know what to do. I don't know that I can do any more than I already am to better myself, and I don't know how I can change my wife's perception of my situation, then if our marriage broke down I couldn't stand to take them from their mother or have them taken from me. Add salt to the wound, I've had a falling out with my mum and never been close to my dad, and my friends don't have kids or are many married so talking to them hasn't helped. Feeling a bit alone right now. Writing this I really just want to hug my girls, but they're asleep. Thanks for listening, felt better to get it out. BD.

Govecomm lonely and depressed after breakup.
  • replies: 6

I have suffered anxiety and depression for many years and recently broke up with my partner after a 20 year relationship, in all the time he never understood my depression and now that I feel that I am free off his judgment and expectations I am stru... View more

I have suffered anxiety and depression for many years and recently broke up with my partner after a 20 year relationship, in all the time he never understood my depression and now that I feel that I am free off his judgment and expectations I am struggling at the moment, feeling lonely needing someone to hold me (not that we did that for the last two years of our relationship) just feeling a bit stuck.

ellesz How to open up/get help? (adoption, trust issues)
  • replies: 1

Hi there, just looking for some advice. I'm 22 right now but I've suffered from depression since I can remember and anxiety in more recent years. I was internationally adopted at 2 months and although I love my parents very much I've never had the co... View more

Hi there, just looking for some advice. I'm 22 right now but I've suffered from depression since I can remember and anxiety in more recent years. I was internationally adopted at 2 months and although I love my parents very much I've never had the connection that say, my best friend would have with her Mum. I find it hard to show affection, love, empathy and when I do it's very much forced.. because of this, I've learnt to never open up and remain private/closed. I choose how much of 'me' a person will get until I trust them (which is virtually never). I don't like burdening others with my issues but as of right now, it's agony. I wish the people around me knew what was going on but they don't. I'd like to tell my Mum/dad about the years of bullying or being sexually assaulted but I just can't bring myself to it. Because of my depression I lost many friends then basically deleted all social media & fell off the face of the earth. I don't want to be here anymore but I couldn't commit suicide because I don't want to hurt my parents yet if euthanasia was available, I'd take it. As of right now I feel damaged.. from the depression, anxiety, attachment, trust & abandonment issues. I just feel like there's no hope and no one would want me because I can't even keep a relationship. I do want help, I'd like to be happy again. I just feel so awkward talking to my parents or anyone about it. It took more than 10 years for me to tell just my best friend about how sad I actually was, she had no idea and that's how great of a facade I can put on. Something that really bothers me is when people at work for example question me about why I don't have a boyfriend or how I feel about being adopted/whether I want to search for my birth parents. I just feel like explaining my view & position is pointless because they will just say "I'm lucky" or "should be thankful", will tell me what they think, I think or won't understand that a lot of my issues may come from actually being Adopted. Yet I see other older adoptee's happily married, with kids & have made a life for themselves and I just wonder what is wrong with me.. I really just do not know where to start. My best friend is super busy with uni at the moment. Would it be better to talk to a therapist/counselor first? (Even that would be hard for me.. As a kid it failed because I never opened up. I almost feel ashamed to ask for any kind of help as to me, it would feel weak when I try to be strong). Thanks.

Abitscared Severe anxiety regarding engagement
  • replies: 6

Hi All, I am after some relationship and life advice. I’m 27 and have been with my girlfriend since we were 21. The pressure is really on me to propose at the moment and I’m feeling severe anxiety because of it which is making me question everything.... View more

Hi All, I am after some relationship and life advice. I’m 27 and have been with my girlfriend since we were 21. The pressure is really on me to propose at the moment and I’m feeling severe anxiety because of it which is making me question everything. About 2 years ago I had a real bout of anxiety where I was questioning if the relationship was right for me. I discussed this with her at the time and it put a lot of pressure on our relationship as you can imagine, but we pushed through. This manifested insecurities within her with regards to my commitment to her (which I totally understand) and as such she’s put a deadline on us being engaged by the end of this year or calling it off. I understand this, she can’t wait forever, but at the same I have so much anxiety that it totally clouds my mind. I spend hours thinking back and forth “Yes she’s right for me” and then “No I don’t know if this is right”. I believe some of this stems from the fact that my parents divorced when I was young which was a terrible thing to experience. At the same time I just feel so unsure sometimes. She’s a great girl and most of the time things are good, but I get so anxious when I consider marriage with her that I just think something must be wrong? Maybe my brain is trying to tell me something? She talks about wanting to buy a house and get married next year, then having kids no long after. When I imagine doing this my heart is constantly changing from excitement to anxiety and fear. The anxiety has been so bad this last week I’m hardly eating, I have pains in my chest and I feel nauseous. I wake up at 3am and can’t sleep because I’m just so stressed. It causes me to think that I’d rather just break up with her to relieve the pressure anymore, as much as I love her and I don’t want to be without her. In the end I feel like I’m going crazy and I don’t know what to do. Any advice at all would be great. Thanks everyone.

madds97 I have no friends
  • replies: 9

Hi, this is my first post So basically I'm at a really low point in my life right now, I'm really struggling. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated, and have no friends. I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm getting worse everyday. This all cam... View more

Hi, this is my first post So basically I'm at a really low point in my life right now, I'm really struggling. I'm feeling very lonely and isolated, and have no friends. I don't know what to do, and I feel like I'm getting worse everyday. This all came about as I had to leave highschool after being hospitalised for depression. I lost my school friends as they moved on with their lives, and have been alone ever since. I don't really know how things are going to get better, and feel very hopeless for the future. Thankyou for taking the time to read my post Madds