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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Meg1888 Breakup depression?
  • replies: 2

It has been 2 months since my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. This breakup blindsided me with no warning and some very poor reasons on his behalf. He told me 'if I wasn't stressed this probably wouldn't be happening' and I believe that, he is ... View more

It has been 2 months since my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. This breakup blindsided me with no warning and some very poor reasons on his behalf. He told me 'if I wasn't stressed this probably wouldn't be happening' and I believe that, he is currently going through a major life change and upheaval and wasn't doing well himself. I have hope that after some time to get his life in order we may reunite, however know that is very unhealthy thinking. I'm struggling with feelings of intense sadness, lonliness and having issues eating and sleeping. I get out of the house every day but I feel somewhat like a walking zombie. I have also lost my 2 best friends to this, I guess they struggle to know what to do or say to me? Or just prefer my ex. My exs grandfather has also just passed away. I saw him as part of my family also. I'm grieving his loss while worrying about if I should (and feel I could) attend the funeral. I'm worried that I may be depressed. Unsure how long these feelings are supposed to last, however thought I would be at least marginally better by now. Do you have any advice? How did you get over a tough breakup?

Lost88 Relationship with my mother hindering my mental health recovery
  • replies: 5

Im not here to bag my mother. She does do and has done alot for me and we have been through alot. However, she can be very negative towards me in the things she says and i feel as though shes sometimes hindering my recovery. I feel like im slowly get... View more

Im not here to bag my mother. She does do and has done alot for me and we have been through alot. However, she can be very negative towards me in the things she says and i feel as though shes sometimes hindering my recovery. I feel like im slowly getting my life together one small step at a time and then we talk and she sends me back a few steps. I feel as though i need a break from her in my life so that i can get myself together so that i can be strong enough to take it and not let it get me down. I feel terrible about this because she is my mum and time is precious with those we love so i dont want to waste it, but maybe i need some time so we can be better and get on with our lives. Does anyone else have this kind of problem? Think this is a good idea? Have any other ideas? I have tried to talking to her but she gets offended, it turns into an argument and she doesnt change. Im so close to being better, i dont want to go back to that dark place i have been so many times before! Any advice welcome and appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Deafboy Deaf guy relationship
  • replies: 35

I'm a Deaf gay from Asian and in my late-30s. My all ex were Deaf and I never had hearing bf. I'm out of relationship with my Deaf ex 3 years ago, and I have rare dating with guys coz of my deafness. Most of hearing guys rejected me as I'm Deaf Asian... View more

I'm a Deaf gay from Asian and in my late-30s. My all ex were Deaf and I never had hearing bf. I'm out of relationship with my Deaf ex 3 years ago, and I have rare dating with guys coz of my deafness. Most of hearing guys rejected me as I'm Deaf Asian guy. Some guys met me just once or twice then dropped me as it's hard to communication with me. I recently met one nice guy and seen him for two weeks, I knew we went too far and he disappeared and nothing hear from him since. I feel ashame myself being Deaf. If I'm hearing then it will be better (Don't tell me that I should dating with Deaf guys here, it's very low number of Deaf gay guys here). I have a full time job, own my house and car, no smoke and no drug, different hobbies, not into party and health food. I tried to go out and any events but no one come to me. I feel less value and no love by anyone. My family love me but they never talk anything to me; I only have one or two close friends but they can't listen to me all the time, I recently visit my psych and not yet feel better. I feel no love in the world, No one give love to me and I can't give them my love. I'll be okay however I think I get worst day by day and I cry almost everyday. Sometimes I thought why I'm here? I don't know if you understand me?

Bilbo1980 Centrelink conplaint
  • replies: 1

8 months ago was when I hit rock bottom with my depression instead of suicide I turned to my family for help, at first they where great got me to go to see a doctor try different medication etc after a couple of months my family needed answers WHY? N... View more

8 months ago was when I hit rock bottom with my depression instead of suicide I turned to my family for help, at first they where great got me to go to see a doctor try different medication etc after a couple of months my family needed answers WHY? Not really having the answer of course the blame was pointed towards illegal drugs and a when is this going to end this couldn't be far from the truth of course me taking things to hart this just made me more distant from them all. I had to move out of my home for the good of my children and constant fighting with my wife it seemed better sleeping on aquatint's lounge chairs garden sheds where ever my sickness benefit would provide, on the 4th of January centrelink stop my payments because they misplace my medical certificate they said just get another one with not a single dollar to my name this is not possible it cost me 52 dollars to see my gp I've explained this but they don't care I've gone through all avenues. I now sleep on the streets eating what ever I can find like an animal now I've hit rock bottom and lost all hope because someone can't do there job. Mental health assistance in this country is a real crap show.

caz54 My Best Friends Husband has Passed away :-(
  • replies: 2

My Best Friends Husband sadly passed away nearly 2 years ago,I wanted to know if there is anyone else out there that is going through Grieving after the passing of their loved one? I don't know what to do or say to make My BFF feel Happy anymore she ... View more

My Best Friends Husband sadly passed away nearly 2 years ago,I wanted to know if there is anyone else out there that is going through Grieving after the passing of their loved one? I don't know what to do or say to make My BFF feel Happy anymore she is so lost without her wonderful Husband! Anyone else out there who has lost their loved one could you help me to help her. Thanks Caz

Lexi22 He claims I am causing his depression - how can I help him?
  • replies: 3

My boyfriend of two years spent six months on depressants, and has now been off them for three months after taking himself off them. When we first talked about his feelings he talked about his guilt, nine months later he explained to me fully that he... View more

My boyfriend of two years spent six months on depressants, and has now been off them for three months after taking himself off them. When we first talked about his feelings he talked about his guilt, nine months later he explained to me fully that he feels i am the reason he is depressed. He says he cannot love me the way i love him, and all feelings of affection and sexual attraction have gone. He wants to feel this things, but is totally overwhelmed by everything that is going through his head. Last night I asked him what i can do to help and he said to find someone else as he feels he is wasting my time. I LOVE him, he is a great person, and these outbreaks come out of nowhere, we had a fantastic weekend together before this conversation. Does anyone have any advice? I feel his lack of libido is one of the things really frustrating him, and not feeling affection. What can help him with these things? Research tells me the medication and stress effects these things, he has agreed to go to couples therapy with me, but im worried these things are more medication related?

mechanical_animal don't know whether or not I have done the right thing??
  • replies: 4

Hi all Me and my missus have been going through a rough patch the last few months and well stupid me, I get a crush on a woman that we were both friends with. One night this woman and I were talking and she was telling me some secrets about her. I th... View more

Hi all Me and my missus have been going through a rough patch the last few months and well stupid me, I get a crush on a woman that we were both friends with. One night this woman and I were talking and she was telling me some secrets about her. I thought well I may as well tell her how i feel. I told her i liked her and she was actually pretty cool about it. Until i told the missus about my feelings about the other woman. now the friend i thought i had has pretty much abandoned me can't contact her or anything. on the bright side it finally got my missus to open up about what she thought was wrong in our relationship. so I we can work on that now. thou i still feel bad. I never slept with this other girl but have been tempted to cheat on my missus with other women. I felt bad just thinking about it. so i never did. I just feel so stupid for falling for someone who i thought was my friend but obviously wasn't when she bailed out after i told my missus my feelings towards her. the fact i fell for someone while being in a committed relationship as well. I didn't mean for any of this to happen!!! why do i feel so bad about this for?? I just wish i could stop my crush on this other woman. she obviously doesn't care about me if she bailed at the sign of trouble. I feel so stupid

bluestar Regret
  • replies: 9

How do you stop feeling regret and guilty? I was "seeing" a guy one of those friends with benefits type of situations and to top it off he was my group PT instructor. Of course i wanted more and he didn't, shit hit the fan and I got nasty and angry f... View more

How do you stop feeling regret and guilty? I was "seeing" a guy one of those friends with benefits type of situations and to top it off he was my group PT instructor. Of course i wanted more and he didn't, shit hit the fan and I got nasty and angry for being rejected. The friendship is now different and i'm feeling horrible for being such a cow. He says its all fine and we are as normal as we can be with each other at training I just feel as if he hates me and is only talking to me because he has to because he is my PT. I want it to be back how it was, i just feel useless, hurt and embarrassed. I can't take back what i said but i don't know how to stop feeling like this. I don't want to stop PT cause i love it and have made some great friends but seeing him everyday is a kick in the face. I always stuff things up.

ericamaria90 My husband has anhedonia - what do I do
  • replies: 12

My husband and I have been separated for 10 months now, he left me just a few weeks before our first child was born. After months and months of trying to work things out with him I have just found out that he has been clinically depressed and has anh... View more

My husband and I have been separated for 10 months now, he left me just a few weeks before our first child was born. After months and months of trying to work things out with him I have just found out that he has been clinically depressed and has anhedonia. This makes so much sense to me now considering one minute we were together for 5 years, got married after 4 years and were happily (or so I thought) married for 6 months before we fell pregnant after trying to conceive and then all of a sudden he says he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't think the marriage is going to work and when I asked him at the time of our separation why and where this came from considering our baby was almost due he said he couldn't give me an answer because he just felt nothing and felt dead inside and has no feelings for anything including me. Fast forward 10 months later, I have tried and tried to reconcile with my husband but I just get nowhere. I have made steps in moving on with my life with our child but I just feel like my husband is still in there somewhere and I don't want to move on without him because I know that despite him saying he has no feelings for me anymore I know he does because the person who he currently is isn't the type of person my husband is normally. We had a talk the other night about getting back together again and he says that he just isn't sure if it'll work because doesn't feel anything and he has no interest in me or even sex with me and he doesn't want to hurt me especially because he knows how much he has hurt me already by walking out on me. I asked if he finds me unattractive and he says that I am still beautiful in his eyes but he just doesn't want sex anymore. I told him sex isn't everything and that I am willing to try to rebuild that emotional connection with him again which is still there BUT I just don't know what I can do to do that with someone who is so closed off from their emotions and feelings. I just want some guidance as to what I can do to be there for my husband to show him I'm not giving up on him and the marriage or our little family. Has anyone been in my position before or currently in my position. Or know someone who has dealt with someone who suffers with anhedonia? I'm at my wits end. I feel so defeated that depression has stolen my husband and robbed him and I from having the family we both planned together :((((((( please help

Nickname88 what he will never know...
  • replies: 2

My depressed partner has isolated himself from me. I understand why and I am committed to loving and supporting him unconditionally from afar. It feels selfish, but I need to express how this makes me feel too...telling him without actually doing so.... View more

My depressed partner has isolated himself from me. I understand why and I am committed to loving and supporting him unconditionally from afar. It feels selfish, but I need to express how this makes me feel too...telling him without actually doing so. ________________________ My phone is deafeningly silent. My heart is empty. My mind races. I begin to forget what you look like. My body craves your touch...your hand on my face, your lips on my head and your hand in mine. I don't recognise the way you smell where reminders have often made me smile. The comfort of your company is a memory fading fast. The sound of your voice, the way you say my name is saved only in my memory as unique and treasured. Love has become intangible, unexplainable in the overwhelming crush of missing you. The safety and security of your presence, now absent, brings pain to my core. Each smile feels fake, my fear is real. The word 'love' is now inadequate. But hope sustains me. That you will beat this intruder in your mind, your peace and your heart. I am angry because that is where I belong. I look forward with hope to the day you put me back in my place. When you realise the lies of the beast who invades your soul. And you rediscover the wonderful man that you have always been. Thinking this, all while knowing that you are hurting far beyond me is the most difficult pain to endure. That it must end for you, for your smile to return is my wish for you. Hoping that you might smile for me is a self indulgent bonus.