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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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ifallintofantasy Relashionships
  • replies: 4

Dose anyone have advice on handing family, i have depression. my relationship with them has been strained.

Dose anyone have advice on handing family, i have depression. my relationship with them has been strained.

Boo1986 The end of a relationship is always hard, but I have lost all hope.
  • replies: 74

Hi everyone, I suffer from Depression and Anxiety, I take my medication and see my psychologist at least once a month. I try to eat right and exercise, and catch up with friends whenever I have the energy. I have my beautiful rescue dog to keep me co... View more

Hi everyone, I suffer from Depression and Anxiety, I take my medication and see my psychologist at least once a month. I try to eat right and exercise, and catch up with friends whenever I have the energy. I have my beautiful rescue dog to keep me company and encourage me to keep active. I really try to battle against this problem, but it seems the harder I try, the more it ends up hurting. I recently put myself out there on a dating website and got to know some wonderful people. There was one I was particularly interested in and we started dating. Everything was going so well and I felt so happy for once. Yesterday he broke up with me. I am shattered. It took so much courage for me to sign up for online dating and to let him in. I guess I just want to hear from others that there is hope, that love exists. I would really love to hear from people that have had positive experiences and can help me fight my demons. The depression tells me to give up, that it's not worth it, that it's better just to be alone than risk getting hurt. Usually I can try to control my thoughts and not let the depression take hold but I am really struggling right now. I'd really love some positive words to try to push back all the negatives in my mind. I just can't see the positives right now. Any help would really be appreciated.

Bookworm_Betty Pregnant, depressed and hating my mother-in-law
  • replies: 7

Hi I'm new here. I'm currently suffering perinatal depression and am feeling worse than normal today thanks to my mother-in-law. Unfortunately, she lives with us (granny flat out the back) and is a drinker. She's pretty unpleasant most of the time, b... View more

Hi I'm new here. I'm currently suffering perinatal depression and am feeling worse than normal today thanks to my mother-in-law. Unfortunately, she lives with us (granny flat out the back) and is a drinker. She's pretty unpleasant most of the time, but is particularly bad when drunk. Yesterday, my three year old and I were outside painting. My daughter's hands were covered in paint, so I told her she needed to wash her hands with the hose before going inside. She ignored me and started going inside so I yelled her name. Obviously, the mother-in-law heard this, so she wandered out and decided to get involved. As my husband was bringing my daughter back outside to wash her hands, my mother-in-law screeched at my daughter "You bloody well do what you're told!". My husband told her to back off and so she screeched at him that he is too soft on our daughter. My husband told her to go away, and she responded with the famous "Well, I live here too!", to which he replied "That doesn't mean you have to get involved in our parenting". She then yelled at him that our daughter was a disobedient child. A very similar situation occurred again this afternoon, with her barking at our daughter, telling her what to do, and when my husband told her to leave us alone, she just continued to argue. The whole situation has left me feeling very miserable. I have started thinking about leaving my husband just so I can get away from my mother-in-law. I Feel so trapped though, because we have our three-year-old daughter together and I am also currently 7 months pregnant, so if I left, I don't know how I could survive financially. I feel like we can't even use the backyard to play in etc. because she is out there and hears everything we do. It has also gotten to the point where, if my daughter is throwing a tantrum at the the back of the house, I try to move her to the front so my judgemental mother-in-law doesn't hear and feel she has the right to get involved. I simply don't know what to do. Whenever I have tried to speak up for myself and be assertive towards her, it has caused even more problems because she then spends weeks sulking and manages to have some kind of effect on my husband so that he expects me to apologise. I am at my wits end

nic15 Can't keep going like this
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm posting this as I'm not sure I can keep going the way I am at present. My partner had an acute depressive/psychotic depressive episode last year and was hospitalised twice within 3 months. We spent a lot of time apart while he was getting tre... View more

Hi, I'm posting this as I'm not sure I can keep going the way I am at present. My partner had an acute depressive/psychotic depressive episode last year and was hospitalised twice within 3 months. We spent a lot of time apart while he was getting treatment with specialists and I looked after my son by myself for about 3 months. TO say the last 8 months or so have been the hardest of my life is an understatement. however, we're here on the other side and things are getting better. Only I feel like they aren't. I wake up every morning feeling seriously unhappy - I don't want to go to work, I'm horrible when I'm at work and I am constantly overly emotional with my toddler which upsets me even more. He is going through the terrible twos and constantly wines. I am trying so hard to be patient however, with the way I'm feeling at present, my patience runs out very quickly. I know I"m not the only one but I hate the way I behave towards him. I used to be such a happy person before this all happened. I haven't been intimate with my partner since July last year and before that, it was pretty sporadic. We were very happy but we've grown apart. I can't put my finger on it. I just feel so disillusioned with everything at the moment. I just don't want to wake up angry anymore and want to feel like myself again. I constantly feel as though something bad is going to happen and that I'm not doing enough. I used to have so much motivation but lately it's all gone. I don't know whether it's to do with my relationship with my partner, or myself may be a bit of both. Any advice would be appreciated. Cheers

PunksInTheGym 5 years on from a break-up and still unable to move on
  • replies: 2

In 2012 I met a lovely young lady who became the centre of my universe (admittedly a bad move) but I thought finally that I had met someone to settle down with. I had been through numerous relationships prior and was about ready to give up. Ever sinc... View more

In 2012 I met a lovely young lady who became the centre of my universe (admittedly a bad move) but I thought finally that I had met someone to settle down with. I had been through numerous relationships prior and was about ready to give up. Ever since this one failed, I have virtually done just that. We were only together for around four months. What made this one so hard in the end was distance, but I never did get a rock solid reason for her leaving me. We had an arrangement where she purchased me an E-tag for my car, so I didn't have to worry about buying a citylink pass all the time to go see her. I wasn't overly comfortable with the idea, so I made sure I spoilt her and treated her well in return for this gesture. I was working full time, and she was also, so one day/night a week was the normal catch up for us. In the end her break-up method was to come to my house and collect this e-tag. We said I love you to each other, but we could see it in each other's faces that things were not going to end well. I didn't even get through the cuddle and goodbye,drive safe before I totally lost it. Following this break-up I took to the bottle,marijuana, and shortly after had lung surgery to correct a collapsed lung I later suffered at work. Both my dogs also passed away shortly after. I've put myself through the ringer playing the blame game. And after the initial anger towards her (which I did not channel her way,but bottled) I began to really take it out on myself. After being made redundant from work I spiralled into an abyss. And only in the last 12 months have I really gained any ground, mentally and physically. I am a keen rock climber/mountaineer. I used this as my escape also and to a degree it worked. But I still have her in my thoughts, dreams and so on. She has a partner now whom she moved in with maybe a year after we broke up, but I have not done anything since but climb. Or go fishing. And most of these things have been on my own. When I go into the mountains I pick the worst days and make myself suffer deliberately. I break down sometimes out there,but quite often it happens at home randomly. Then I have to hide it. I can't contact her as doing so only made things worse, and she has clearly moved on with her life after 5 years without me. At the moment I feel as though I am at a crossroads. Do something about it now, or self destruct. Apologies for ranting, but I guess that is why we are all here. To talk about it.

usedshed Australian citizen married a 457 Visa, Centrelink rights denied!
  • replies: 7

Hello to everyone, I've been diagnosed with PTSD due to past toxic workplace bullying and harassment and I'm receiving Disability Pension support, long story. I recently married a foreigner woman with a 5 years old baby who are on a 457 Visa. We went... View more

Hello to everyone, I've been diagnosed with PTSD due to past toxic workplace bullying and harassment and I'm receiving Disability Pension support, long story. I recently married a foreigner woman with a 5 years old baby who are on a 457 Visa. We went several times to Centrelink to update the new family status, the staff automatically reduced my fortnight payment because they said now I'm married without even seeing my wife's pay slips, they also denied us any family, child and tax benefits. Something I want to ask (probably stupid) is, are we both eligible to receive DSP payments as a couple? I do understand that my wife and baby are on a 457 Visa and so there are some restrictions but my DSP was reduced due that now I'm married plus my family and tax allowances are being denied so what about my Rights as an Australian citizen? I feel like a foreigner in my country, what is your opinion/ knowledge regarding this racist and confusing (toward me) Immigration rules? Why I've a family but I may not access to my Rights? Should I still be proud of being Australian? Can anyone please give me some directions?

kanga_brumby How do I go about telling bad news to the kids
  • replies: 4

Recently I was diagnosed with a low grade cancer. I'm thinking about telling my children I'm 61 the kids are 18 and 15. They have already lost there mother to cancer ten years ago to cancer. Which was said to be a low grade cancer. Totally different ... View more

Recently I was diagnosed with a low grade cancer. I'm thinking about telling my children I'm 61 the kids are 18 and 15. They have already lost there mother to cancer ten years ago to cancer. Which was said to be a low grade cancer. Totally different area of the body. But how do I tell them without freaking them out. I'm scared what it will do to them physiology. Will it damage them if I tell them. That's freaking me out, should I tell them or not. Kanga

Ocelot1771 I feel alone in the world
  • replies: 3

I'm sitting here tonight feeling a bit panicked and scared about my situation and just need some soothing words or advice. Life used to be quite good for me at one stage, I had my parents and siblings, a small but close network of friends, things to ... View more

I'm sitting here tonight feeling a bit panicked and scared about my situation and just need some soothing words or advice. Life used to be quite good for me at one stage, I had my parents and siblings, a small but close network of friends, things to do and just generally felt buoyant and enthusiastic about life. Fast forward 10 years, and I no longer have any parents (they've passed and my Dad last September), have fallen out with my sister after a particularly nasty fight recently, have a distant relationship with my brother (but always did), have about one close-ish friend that I see every few months (she lives far away), and a few acquaintances here and there that I see very infrequently. The only person I see and talk to regularly every day that I have a close connection with is my partner, and he's not always supportive. If I reach out to people they generally will be happy enough to see me, but it's always me doing the reaching out and I feel like I'm no-one's priority. I just feel very alone and like I have no support network, and I'm still grieving my Dad I think but no-one understands that. I'm scared that the rest of my life will be lonely and empty and that terrifies me.

Emilylou Pregnant and exhausted
  • replies: 2

I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my first child and building a house with my partner. Currently we live with my parents to save a little extra money. Firstly, partner dislikes my mum so I'm constantly trying to defuse the situation. Second, I wor... View more

I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my first child and building a house with my partner. Currently we live with my parents to save a little extra money. Firstly, partner dislikes my mum so I'm constantly trying to defuse the situation. Second, I work full time in a high stress job. Third, I have high blood pressure and at high risk of antenatal and postnatal depression. I've gotten to the point where I don't want to leave my bed. I want to do the right thing for my baby so I eat at least twice a day (hearty/healthy meals) and go for walks even other day. This is for my baby. Not for me. If it was up to me I wouldn't. My partner doesn't help, instead he fights with my mum and stresses me more. He's constantly complaining about money and time. I do what I can but its never enough. I'm just lost and don't know what to do or who to talk to. Even if I talk to someone what kind of response would help?

Kitty128 Friend-less
  • replies: 6

I don't have many close friends (actually, I don't have any). Mostly, we drift apart. I still keep in touch with friends/acquaintances on social media but it's not good enough. I'm going through a really rough time now and I feel a lot of it has to d... View more

I don't have many close friends (actually, I don't have any). Mostly, we drift apart. I still keep in touch with friends/acquaintances on social media but it's not good enough. I'm going through a really rough time now and I feel a lot of it has to do with not having a large support network. My boyfriend (and my cats!) is/are my best friend(s) and while it's amazing I have is support, I know it's not healthy to "hide" away from the real world. My social anxiety has really worsened over the past 6 months. I feel awkward meeting new people or reconnecting with old friends. I haven't developed any close friendships in my job and I have been there for 9 months. I'm not close with my family either. I study part time online, but it's hard to develop connections with people. I'm 27 years old and I don't know how to make friends. My psych always discusses the importance of friendships as part of my therapy for depression/anxiety but I don't actually have any friends. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else struggles with maintaining/creating new friendships - or if anyone has any tips on meeting new people. :)