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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Pinkoala Is my 4yrs old son safe living with mentally unstable 16yrs old
  • replies: 3

Hi I'm just new here, my 16yrs old step daughter have been seeing Headspace for the last 3 yrs now she had some issues with her temperament and already had been to juvenile justice parole system. My husband took her back to live with us after not bei... View more

Hi I'm just new here, my 16yrs old step daughter have been seeing Headspace for the last 3 yrs now she had some issues with her temperament and already had been to juvenile justice parole system. My husband took her back to live with us after not being with for a year and so, I'm am now anxiously worried for my 4yrs old son. My husband doesn't seem to take it seriously he keeps saying that her daughter will not hurt our son. But I'm not just worried about physical but more of implication to my sons mental health, she seems to talk silly things to my son. I don't know what the right thing to do, I feel so alone I have no relatives here in Australia to talk to and support. If I say things to my husband about his daughter he gets cranky with me and totaly take his daughters side. Please help me!! Thank you

Durras Lonely and Confused
  • replies: 7

Hi all my name is Durras, I was on here sometime ago and now back again because I realize now that a recovery from depression is very distant or no existent (well I feel for me it is) I'm feeling very confused with my emotions and have no one to talk... View more

Hi all my name is Durras, I was on here sometime ago and now back again because I realize now that a recovery from depression is very distant or no existent (well I feel for me it is) I'm feeling very confused with my emotions and have no one to talk with. If anyone remembers me from before you may remember I was hoping to do a nursing course, well I am nearly at completion of it, I have my final work placement for two weeks in June. I worked for a week at this nursing home in April with first week placement, nursing staff including supervisors were telling me to put my resume in for employment, they were happy with me. I told my husband and mother in law and all they are saying is "make sure your resume is really good," "well I hope they are employing". This has really hurt me and upset me because I was hoping to hear something like "that sounds really positive, I'm sure you will have no problems them gaining employment their"? What is that suppose to mean "make sure your resume is really good" I get that I need to find a job, I get that my husband and I can't keep going on with one income to pay of our mortgage, I get that if anything was to happen to him with his work we are in crisis. I get all this, I'm living it, breathing it everyday, waking up and going to sleep with it everyday. Is this what they are saying? I KNOW IT ALL!!! GIVE ME/ SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE!!!! This is my only opportunity for employment as I am so far from other places, nursing homes. I don't want my hand held like a baby but some positive words would be really helpful for me to give me the confidence I need for the interview once I put my application in. I'm feeling really annoyed, hurt and frustrated because I've been struggling with finding work for so long and now I have this wonderful opportunity all I'm getting is negativity. On top of all this, what I'm learning in my course with aged care illness trajectories is really sending my heart back home to NZ. My dad isn't well, my mum has been tested for dementia and I want to be their for them but can't afford it. I have no one to talk to about all this, I have no friends or family here with me. I'm feeling really lost with my situation and hope so much I get this job, if not I'm back to being how I was NOTHING!!

marn157 Guilty Cheater
  • replies: 8

I am in a relationship with the love of my life. She is my soul mate. I love her unconditionally. The fire is always there between us, even after almost 2 years together. She helped me get out of depression, stands by me, loves me, props me up, treat... View more

I am in a relationship with the love of my life. She is my soul mate. I love her unconditionally. The fire is always there between us, even after almost 2 years together. She helped me get out of depression, stands by me, loves me, props me up, treats me like a god & makes me intensely happy. I honestly could not think of a better person I would want to share my life with. I knew from when I first met her I wanted to spend my life with her. We do not live together, she lives in one state & I live in another, it has to be that way until our committments are up in one year. But we still see each other every 3-4 weeks. This weekend past I got completely drunk and I hooked up with another girl. To which my girlfriend doesn't know about, and its virtually impossible she will ever find out. No sexual stuff. Just kissing. But it doesn't matter, cheating is cheating. I have always prided myself on being a man with integrity & morals. I have never cheated before & I have always despised cheaters. I am so sick in my stomach. I know its guilt. It's so overwhelming. Its consuming me. I want to vomit. It's almost similar to the grief I felt when my sister passed away. The thought of losing her is unbearable, but she's such a perfect human being she deserves more. She deserves an honest man. Every fibre of my being wants to tell her everything. But I have been told not to from the one person I confided in (my mother), as she believes based on her experience its sometimes best to suck it up & keep it to yourself. I know deep down in my heart that I will never do it again. But I was hoping to get some opinions from people who have had a similar situation before. Should I tell her? Or should I live with the guilt and go on with our relationship knowing it will never happen again? And if I dont tell her, will the guilt/grief pass or will I be doomed forever?

J_P Is my wife a crap communicator or am I an angry fool
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone First time here on this board, hope this is ok.. Would love some advice.. I often get angry, I'm easily tipped over the edge, I don't have a lot of releases, I don't drink or smoke or anything else. Married with two kids. My fair share of... View more

Hi Everyone First time here on this board, hope this is ok.. Would love some advice.. I often get angry, I'm easily tipped over the edge, I don't have a lot of releases, I don't drink or smoke or anything else. Married with two kids. My fair share of issues in the past but overall a lucky guy with a job and family. I get angry at little things which are more than abundant in this world. Is it the worlds fault? Is my wife poor at communicating when I get angry at her? Am I just an Angry Fool? All of the above? Im not a fan of labels, reluctant to say "Im this", but something is going on.. Not sure how to handle it. I go to church and stand by it, I have plenty of positive thoughts and understandings, still I get stressed from life and overwhelmed. Although I said I don't like labels, I would love to classify this or speak to others in similar position. Cheers..

Bubbles89 Trust issues lost love needing advice :(
  • replies: 2

Hi all I'm new to the community Iv been in a relationship for about 8 years we have two kids together are engaged all the things u do in a serious relationship. The start of the relationship didn't start off good I was pregnant and he was cheating on... View more

Hi all I'm new to the community Iv been in a relationship for about 8 years we have two kids together are engaged all the things u do in a serious relationship. The start of the relationship didn't start off good I was pregnant and he was cheating on me with a ex fling that ended as she moved on with someone else and I chose to stay, I've always somewhat known it's unfinished business between them recently her relationship ended sadly and my OH decided to contact her two days after expressing his condolences, I told him I'm not comfortable with them speaking and I know this is gonna end up them starting there little fling again, I feel like I've gone bak 8 years! It's been a couple months and he has been acting weird he keeps asking if we ever split what would I take etc I confronted him last week about the weirdness between us and he admitted she told him she is still in love with him and he said he will always love her she is his first love, he keeps telling me he is fine and happy yet says he is confused and speaks about different scenarios "if" they where in a relationship & said he knows he can't have both of us yet refuses to stop talking to her, I feel defeated, broken, the hardest thing I've ever faced hearing the man I love tell me someone else is is first love and then I asked who do you luv more he couldn't even look me in the eye and say me he just awkwardly laughed said me and then said he loves us equally! I feel this is so wrong we are engaged have two kids together and he loves me equally to someone he hasn't spoken two for 8 years! Everyone's telling me what he is doing is wrong yet he is making me feel like I'm over reacting and I'm in the wrong also I told him I will message her myself if he doesn't stop talking to her then he says that will start trouble and make him really angry he is dead set against me contacting her it makes me sus. I don't know what to do but I can't just move on and allow this it's destroying me knowing he is inlove with someone else, I feel like he is emotionally blackmailing me to allow him to have her in his life, we live in a different town to her so no way he could physically cheat but I feel he is emotionally cheating and cares more about her feelings then mine it's like he is destroying my self confidence without a care I can't deal with this I need to raise my kids I can't be strong and alone forever. What would you all do in my situation ? Please help

Milly_jane Feeling trapped. Mentally exhausted. Cant get out of this relationship.
  • replies: 2

Hi. I dont know what to do i have been trying to leave a toxic relationship for quite some time now as i cant take all the fighting and constant bickering. Im emotionally exhausted and have tried to let them know i cant do this any more , many of tim... View more

Hi. I dont know what to do i have been trying to leave a toxic relationship for quite some time now as i cant take all the fighting and constant bickering. Im emotionally exhausted and have tried to let them know i cant do this any more , many of times. no matter how hard i try they end up turing it back on me and usually goes down in a fight when i try to block contact with them they always find a way through to me. Im always made to feel guilty and they use the i need you in my life right now you cant do this to me. Im constantly on edge about the person. Yet i need to start caring for myself and move on but they just wont let me .

just_let_go Jealousy Issues in my relationship.
  • replies: 8

Hi all, Where do I start? I'm in a relationship with an incredible girl. We've been together around 5 months now and I honestly couldn't ask for a better person. We're both absolutely crazy about each other. She's honest, open, understanding, loyal..... View more

Hi all, Where do I start? I'm in a relationship with an incredible girl. We've been together around 5 months now and I honestly couldn't ask for a better person. We're both absolutely crazy about each other. She's honest, open, understanding, loyal... So I guess you're probably thinking, "...What exactly is the issue here?" Well, in my previous relationship I got left for my best friend... Twice. Yep, 2 of my best friends. It has left me with severe insecurity and trust issues. My previous partner was nothing like my current one, so it makes no sense to compare them in anyway, but my brain doesn't seem to agree. I get jealous over the most ridiculous things. It's like there's 2 sides of me whenever the jealousy arises; One side that's being irrational and one that's trying to be the voice of reason. Example: She was playing cards with her sisters boyfriend and they were just chatting, standard banter and chit chat. Then suddenly, I start getting jealous for some ridiculous reason! My brain starts going, "She seems a little attracted to him." Things like that. Then my voice of reason starts going, "Are you serious right now, dude? Are we really doing this?" But I can't ever seem to snap out of it. It spirals into this ridiculous made-up scenario and eventually I had to walk out the room and calm myself down, or at least try to. Now my girl always knows when something is up with me. So she asks and I always tell her exactly what the issue was no matter. She's a little hurt by my irrational ideas, but she always understands after I explain why. Like I said, she's incredible. She has asked me to always tell her when I start getting these feelings so I have been. But I don't want her to have to deal with this side of me. I want to control it on my own and focus on the beautiful relationship I've found myself in. Has anyone had to deal with these kind of feelings before? How to you keep them at bay? Thanks in advance, everyone have a great day

Tricki Dealing with finding out you're adopted
  • replies: 2

I'm 46 years old and two years ago I found out I was adopted after receiving a letter in the mail from the Dept. of Human Service. This came as a compleat shock and I'm still struggling to deal with it today. My dad (adoptive dad) passed away 12 mont... View more

I'm 46 years old and two years ago I found out I was adopted after receiving a letter in the mail from the Dept. of Human Service. This came as a compleat shock and I'm still struggling to deal with it today. My dad (adoptive dad) passed away 12 months before and I have not spoken to my mum (adoptive mum) about this as I just can't bring myself to as I know it will cause her distress. I have met my birth Mother and I also have a half broth and sister who are nice people but I do struggle to feel any connection with them and I do get frustrated at times and just wish I never knew. Unfortunately me finding out also caused me to find out that my older brother was also adopted and he also had no idea. I have had to deal with most of this on my own as my partner and I have seperated. I have two beautiful kids who have been my rocks but I feel I have let them down as they now know the family they have know all their life are not blood related. Don't get me wrong I have had the most amazing life and I love my mum dearly, I just wish that my parents had of told me instead of finding out the way I did and at the age I was.

Izze356 Arguing all the time :(
  • replies: 5

I haven't been too happy with myself lately and I seem to be making a lot of problems in my relationship, we've been together almost 3 years and I've been dealing with depression for a very long time. Three months ago it started to become really bad ... View more

I haven't been too happy with myself lately and I seem to be making a lot of problems in my relationship, we've been together almost 3 years and I've been dealing with depression for a very long time. Three months ago it started to become really bad and my depression just started getting worse. we fight constantly and I feel like I always say the wrong things then it just goes from there. I'm extremely jealous and always think that he'll leave me because how I am, I have low self esteem and no confidence . it's sometimes hard to talk because I don't want to say the wrong things. I just started to see a psychologist, I am against taking medication for it but right now it seems like it's the only way. I feel like I just keep pushing him away even though he's trying to help. I can't cope with the arguing and I don't think he can either. When will it stop? I just want to get my life back on track. I want us to be OK again, but where do I start?

Elizabethvan Alone, my family hates me
  • replies: 2

I've felt depression over my head for more than 10 years. My family hates me... on a constantly my own twin sister said I'm a pathetic loser for feeling sad.. I'm usually a very bubbly person but if she doesn't get her way she mentally abuses me, to ... View more

I've felt depression over my head for more than 10 years. My family hates me... on a constantly my own twin sister said I'm a pathetic loser for feeling sad.. I'm usually a very bubbly person but if she doesn't get her way she mentally abuses me, to the point like now where I'm crying in tears and my mum sides with her because they both wish I never existed for feeling down and how pathetic and immature it is to cry. I'm constantly heartbroken, I have a broken stitch in my eye wish burst open and I tried to ask them for help and said "I hope it gets infected". I'm at a point where I've left my eye because it doesn't seem like I'm important a being or it's easier to just let it be in pain then bother my own family. I feel so alone, I recently broke up with a boyfriend, I have friends but not best friend, not people I'd convide in or randomly message to hang out.. at this stage I have no one, I'm constantly wishing I had a different life because even if I was living on the street if I had a family that actually valued me I'd be content..