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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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TwistedSista Logistics of Divorcing and Moving Interstate
  • replies: 2

My husband and I have been married 25 years and have two young adult children. We have decided to separate and currently have our home on the market. I have been considering moving from Coffs Harbour to the Brisbane area as the housing seems more aff... View more

My husband and I have been married 25 years and have two young adult children. We have decided to separate and currently have our home on the market. I have been considering moving from Coffs Harbour to the Brisbane area as the housing seems more affordable, and I know I can earn more in the Brisbane area Temping (admin). However, I'm not quite sure how this will pan out. How can I move interstate if I don't have a home to move to, or a job to secure that home. Once the house settles I'll have a nice amount to use as a bargaining chip (e.g., 3mths rent up front, as I don't have a rental history or a local job), but that leaves a lot of "balls in the air". Has anyone else done something similar? How did you plan for success??

MissJ94 The dating scene
  • replies: 3

After 3 rounds of IUI using a donor I decided ill try dating again thought that maybe theres potential ill find "the one" this time.Started talking to a few guys but one always stood out. Got his number, started ttexting.2 weeks ago we met up. We cli... View more

After 3 rounds of IUI using a donor I decided ill try dating again thought that maybe theres potential ill find "the one" this time.Started talking to a few guys but one always stood out. Got his number, started ttexting.2 weeks ago we met up. We clicked instantly. The next night we went for a movie and a latenight drive to the city. We couldnt stop talking, ive never clicked with someone so soon.I had himnat mine of Tuesday for dinner. Wednesday night he stayed the night at my place. Yes we have slept together a couple times now. He came out of a 11 year relationship few months ago. Hes still married and has 2 daughters. Im told the reason for their split was because she fell out of love. She told him that twice over 8 months, she said she wanted a break but he said theres no breaks in a marriage. Its either theyre together or they divorce and they both agreed to divorce. Hes now living with his parents and had his two girls every second weekend. Wednesday before he came to my place he needed to go to their old home so they can sort out whos getting what. They had an argument and I was bought up in the converstation but not by name. She stormed out yelling "i hope she makes you happy".When he got to my place i knew something was off. I knew his mind was going a million miles per hour. I could just tell. Thursday afternoon i get a message saying that we need to slow things down, that hes not ready for a relationship, that hes feeling confused and needs to collect his thoughts.I went into meltdown mode. I havent been able to eat since lunch Thursday, crying when someone asks if im ok. I reassured him that i went into that first date with absolutely no plan of a relationship. Things were just so perfect, natural, comfortable between the us so quickly and its scared the hell out of us. I completely understand where hes coming from and his situation but i cant help but feel distraught at the possibility i might lose someone who seemed so right. Hes told me everything hes said to me has been 100% genuine. Ive been in relationships and on dates and ive never felt this strong of a connection with someone before. I struggle to believe that soulmates are real but with him i was starting to believe it. One comment he made on the Wednesday night was "ive met the right person at the wrong time" and that if only he met me a few years ago before he married. And thats ruined me. Im scared to lose him.

bayside14 Totally Gutted
  • replies: 5

Hi im feeling totally gutted - like i have been smacked in the head with a hammer. (so hard to put words on paper to explain)I run a small business with my wife married for 15years over 16 years together - we are in our mid 40s, we have two teen age ... View more

Hi im feeling totally gutted - like i have been smacked in the head with a hammer. (so hard to put words on paper to explain)I run a small business with my wife married for 15years over 16 years together - we are in our mid 40s, we have two teen age kids.our marriage has always been strong, we have our ups and downs- just like any couple. we don't usually fight. Ive always tried to keep the spark going as well-we just booked our holiday overseas with the kids- When i met her i moved to the city to be with her -worked in a few jobs before diving into business together. we are on our second business now, will be our last. i have seen my wife take on alot of work - i try to be there to support her as much as i can - but its not enough. end of finical year we get bombarded with bills. so we pull back on ordering so i do . my wife said she is going to be stressed to say the least. however last night she lost it at me. said she was ready to sell the business and divorce me as she can not cope anymore- drumming up past events. my poor kids heard it they reacted as well. She did calm down after a while still not ok though- but it left me in shock and very fragile to say the least.i am so scared of loosing her and my kids they are my world. it is horrible - i sat in my car this morning crying as a stupid supplier did not have a order ready for us- worried that this would set her off as well. See my wife has never said that she wanted to leave me let alone divorce me. i am hoping time heals wounds - any advice navigating tricky times and getting a relationship back from the brink would be appreciated.

brissiedad0f2 No longer feel important
  • replies: 1

I am hoping for some guidance with regards to how to manage feeling unimportant to my spouse. I always feel like I am the least important person in my wife's life. I have never cared if my wife spends time with her friends. I understand it's healthy ... View more

I am hoping for some guidance with regards to how to manage feeling unimportant to my spouse. I always feel like I am the least important person in my wife's life. I have never cared if my wife spends time with her friends. I understand it's healthy and I encourage it. I have no problems with my wife spending time with her family. To get the main reason of my post is, just once I would love to feel like I'm important to my wife. I'd love to just once be a reason why my wife can't go out with a friend and her to make me feel like I was important enough for her to say no to her friends just that one time. I am not asking that she stops seeing friends and family, not at all. As I said I encourage it and I know she enjoys it and has fun but just once it would feel really good to feel like I was put first.There has been an instance where I had organised a weekend away for our anniversary and a girlfriend had advised her that she bought them tickets to a concert for that weekend. I was then expected to change the dates of our getaway. To me I think an anniversary is important and so is having some romance, we have kids so any romance is better than none. It just made me feel like how I felt didn't matter and that I was not that important to my wife.I try to talk to my wife about it and she gets defensive and it turns into a fight. Is it wrong for me to feel like I should be important enough to be put first at least on one occasion?Any help would be appreciated.

sienpen possible teenage pregnancy
  • replies: 3

I'm a teenager(as it says in the title aha), and yesterday I had Implanon put in. I've had to do two pregnancy tests already, but it was too early both times. I have to do one on 9/11/22 for accurate results according to the doctor but I'm really anx... View more

I'm a teenager(as it says in the title aha), and yesterday I had Implanon put in. I've had to do two pregnancy tests already, but it was too early both times. I have to do one on 9/11/22 for accurate results according to the doctor but I'm really anxious about possibly being pregnant. I took an emergency contraceptive but I don't think it worked(it wasn't in my system long enough), and I couldn't afford another one. I'm really not in a position where I want to be dealing with this due to my current mental state, and how being pregnant could change the medication I'm on which has been helping me a bit more stable and sleep easier recently. I also struggle with substance use and I'm honestly scared that whether I keep the pregnancy or not, I'm gonna lose control in that area as well. I'm really scared and I honestly don't know why I'm writing this, but I was hoping for some advice maybe or just general comfort, and to get it out of my system. Or possibly other people's experiences and how it went? Thank you for reading this, I hope you're all alright

ChelseaGrasso PMDD - more than once a month!
  • replies: 2

I've had PMDD for 11 years now but was only diagnosed this year. Since finding out, so many things have made much more sense but something I can't seem to find anywhere is why I get it twice a month instead of only once. My doctor says that's not pos... View more

I've had PMDD for 11 years now but was only diagnosed this year. Since finding out, so many things have made much more sense but something I can't seem to find anywhere is why I get it twice a month instead of only once. My doctor says that's not possible but I've been recording my symptoms for many months now and clearly get it every 2 weeks, lasting anywhere between 2-6 days. It's bad enough getting this monthly but I am so sick of only feeling normal or in control or happy just a couple of weeks at a time only to be in this hell all over again. Relationships are constantly on the mend as a result; I have to keep backtracking and explaining myself to friends and family and apologizing for my behavior. Is there anyone else out there who experiences their symptoms fortnightly?

sethSHANE-_ Can barley function
  • replies: 2

I can’t clean, give my kids the basic needs atm. I am struggling to get out of bed and shower each day. I’m tired and anytime I try do anything I get angry at how awful it all is and overwhelming and feel like id rather go throw the covers back over ... View more

I can’t clean, give my kids the basic needs atm. I am struggling to get out of bed and shower each day. I’m tired and anytime I try do anything I get angry at how awful it all is and overwhelming and feel like id rather go throw the covers back over my head. my family especially my partner is looking to me to go back to cleaning like I always have and taking care of them and this house. but iv had enough, I have no desire in me to do anything. I can’t think, I can barley make a appointment and keep it. im lost

Kim1988 Not sure what to do?
  • replies: 9

Hi all. I’m in a bit of a pickle and I’m not sure what to do next. This is a bit of a long story, so apologies for the rant. Will try to keep it as short as I can. My husband and I have been together for 6 years now, married for 4 years and we have a... View more

Hi all. I’m in a bit of a pickle and I’m not sure what to do next. This is a bit of a long story, so apologies for the rant. Will try to keep it as short as I can. My husband and I have been together for 6 years now, married for 4 years and we have a little 18-month-old baby boy. Just shortly after I had my son I caught onto a possible porn addiction of my husband’s. Everytime I bring it up though he of course denies it saying that it’s a guy thing to watch porn. I’m a fairly intelligent person so I’m well aware that even married men watch porn and I’m fine with it in moderation. Once a day is even fine.Since I have cottoned onto it though he goes to great lengths to hide it from me e.g. using a private browser and he blatantly lies to me about his usage of it. Nothing gets resolved when we discuss it. I just get blamed for the addiction because apparently I’m not as sophisticated as these naked models that he follows on social media. He actually said this to me in an argument that we had months ago. Maybe he can ask one of these models to wake up at 5am everyday to take our son to daycare and then be at work on time? Cause that’s what I do. I work full-time and am raising a toddler. If they can do that then they might be more sophisticated than me. His behaviour has escalated over the last 18 months. At first he created an Instagram account where the majority of the people he followed were half-naked red headed Instagram models. He deleted it once I found out about it. Now it’s escalated to actually saving photos of these models on his phone. I don’t know if someone is sending them to him, if he’s paying for these photos or not. I don’t know. It just makes me feel as though I’m not wanted. If he wants to find a woman like these models then he can go to them and I wish him all the luck in the world to find it. It’s the lying that is upsetting me the most. He must have a) very little respect for me if he can just lie to my face like that and b) think I’m completely stupid that he thinks I’d never find out. I don’t like being made to look stupid. To make matters worse we have just moved to Perth from Sydney. I have no family here and no friends here. I’m so far away from them. I’m thinking about giving him an ultimatum he can a) start to admit that he has an addiction and we can go and get professional help together or b) if he’s not willing to admit that he has an issue that needs to be dealt with then I have to think about what’s best for myself as a person and what’s best for my son. My son deserves the best version of me possible and I’d rather be happy on my own than be with someone who thinks there’s better out there. I deserve better than that and I have to much respect for myself. If he doesn’t want to get help then I will be taking my son back to Sydney with me and going back to my family. My husband is originally from France so he actually has no direct family here, so it’s up to him where he goes. He can stay in Perth, go back to France. I really could care less. I’m really hoping it doesn’t come to this though and he’s willing to work through this.

Matto74 Self destruct
  • replies: 3

Hi, 2 months ago my wife of 12 years told me she was leaving me. It was the day I signed a contract for our own house. I paid cash with my insurance money I received for a total permanent illness. She would not tell me why, saying only it was my faul... View more

Hi, 2 months ago my wife of 12 years told me she was leaving me. It was the day I signed a contract for our own house. I paid cash with my insurance money I received for a total permanent illness. She would not tell me why, saying only it was my fault and I should know already. She refused to listen to me and treated me like she hated me with passion. I didn't see it coming and begged her to tell me why and let me try and make things right. She would not even acknowledge me. I had never seen her like this with so much hate. When I asked why she never told me she was unhappy the response was she kept it all inside. It has devastated me. Everything I have done since has made it all worse. I am set on self destruct since. I want so bad for it to return to the way it was, but everything I do is intentionally making things worse. She wanted to stay until she saved more money, but I couldn't take it anymore. I told her if she was leaving me she could leave then. We have a 12Yo daughter who lives with me who also blames me for it all. Today I admitted to myself that I was not able to deal with this unless I get help. I am in a place doing things I know are wrong but still do them anyway. I am so grateful for every personal story told here. You have given me the courage to share my story and seek help.Looking back I realise I made mistakes but nothing I thought would deserved being treated this way. I feel better that I am not alone and in a safe place. Thank you

Clover9312 Anxiety over long term couple goals
  • replies: 1

Hi all. I’ve written here before and have received really lovely replies from people. I’ve been feeling awful after a tough conversation with a guy I have been seeing for the last few months. Dating has been a traumatic thing for me over the years. D... View more

Hi all. I’ve written here before and have received really lovely replies from people. I’ve been feeling awful after a tough conversation with a guy I have been seeing for the last few months. Dating has been a traumatic thing for me over the years. Dating apps didn’t help, I don’t look back on my time on them fondly, in fact I cringe. I have done a lot of selfwork over the years and finally recognised a “good egg” in a guy. We have been seeing each other every week since the first date months ago and it’s the healthiest and most green flag relationship I have had. He feels the same. I’m so excited to finally have someone so consistent and reliable. He flagged on our second date that he wasn’t 100% sure if he wanted kids. I still think we’re young (we are 28) so I didn’t worry too much because I have plenty of friends who are also unsure and he wasn’t a 100% “no”. We in the meantime have created a great relationship so far. Last night he mentioned that the chat about children again had been a long time coming. He has been mentioning his job instability for quite some time and he again mentioned that as his reason for not being 100% sure if he wanted kids. I’m not in a rush. I said within 5 or 6 years I’d want a child. He seemed emotional about this. He’s not opposed to children, it’s just the financial side he’s worried about. The conversation turned quite upsetting for both of us and he left the ball in my court if I wanted to break up with him or not. I don’t feel ready to give up the relationship. I know he didn’t get a job he applied for recently - I don’t know if this is playing on his mind. I’m so so upset. I finally found myself in a fulfilling relationship and we seem to be having a conflict over something so massive like this. It’s the fact that he’s not 100% a no that keeps me wondering if he’s still worth dating. I’m so gutted. My biggest dream is to have at least one child. My dating experiences have been so awful, this guy has been different and so much healthier than what I had before.