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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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S2018 Feeling unloved in a loving relationship
  • replies: 3

My boyfriend and I are in our 20s and have been friends for years, but only recently decided to become a couple. It has been absolutely amazing; he's caring, considerate, funny and honestly the most generous person I've ever met. I was drawn to him t... View more

My boyfriend and I are in our 20s and have been friends for years, but only recently decided to become a couple. It has been absolutely amazing; he's caring, considerate, funny and honestly the most generous person I've ever met. I was drawn to him the moment I met him and when he told me he felt the same way about me since the beginning of our friendship, it was probably one of the happiest moments of my life. We've been dating for a few months now and both love each other very much, but for some reason I can't shake the feeling that I love him more than he loves me. He is wonderful and showers me with adoration, compliments and support and we are overall so, so happy together. Even still, I sometimes I get upset because I feel lonely or jealous, like he doesn't really love me or that he's going to leave me for someone better. I know this is 100% in my head due to my insecurities and I've talked through my feelings with him on multiple occasions (he's always understanding and listens patiently), but even after we talk and I feel better, this feeling always seems to come back. I've never had this issue with any other relationship I've been in, and I really really like this one so I don't want it to implode due to my internal problems! I'm usually a very secure and laid back person, but for some reason I can't seem to just be the normal me - I've turned into some paranoid and emotional version of myself that I don't particularly care for. I guess I'm here partly to vent about my frustrations around feeling this way and partly to ask for some advice - how can I get over my insecurities and just let him love me without doubting him? I know that my insecurity around him leaving me is probably eventually going to push him away, so it's just a vicious cycle! I really want to stop it and just let myself be happy. Thank you to any kind strangers who take the time to read this.

Omega285 How do I get through my breakup
  • replies: 2

I'm normally pretty secretive about how I feel when it's not awesome. And things right now aren't so awesome. I'm not okay. I had been in a tough relationship for a few years and it ended recently. And while I've started tentatively dating again I'm ... View more

I'm normally pretty secretive about how I feel when it's not awesome. And things right now aren't so awesome. I'm not okay. I had been in a tough relationship for a few years and it ended recently. And while I've started tentatively dating again I'm still in love with my ex. I ended the relationship because it wasn't happy. For either of us. And because I don't know how to have made it work. We broke up once before and things just never got better. But I still can't get over it. And I can't move on. I fell in love with who she was in the honeymoon phase not who she was in the rest of the relationship. But I still can't get past it. I'm rambling but hopefully this is enough to start a discussion. So. Please. I'm happy to hear any advice or comments and feedback.

Longroad wife left after 23 years.I am not coping
  • replies: 2

hi, I am new here and 3 months ago my wife told me she is leaving as she doesn't love me anymore.I had no idea it was coming.she told me a week before my 50th birthday.After the initial shock,I am now struggling with panic attacks anxiety and depress... View more

hi, I am new here and 3 months ago my wife told me she is leaving as she doesn't love me anymore.I had no idea it was coming.she told me a week before my 50th birthday.After the initial shock,I am now struggling with panic attacks anxiety and depression. My GP put me on medication which made things worse.I am now on a different medication which is easier for me to adjust to.I am trying to come to terms with the fact she is not coming back.I lost 12 kilos in 3 months and have insomnia.can anyone tell me about their experience with insomnia and anxiety or antidepressants? Can I expect to feel better soon I started 2 weeks ago on the new AD. I also meditate everyday to calm the anxiety.Any suggestions on ways to cope is welcomed.It's like being paralysed.I find everything so hard and have lost my energy.

Loosing_it_35 Stay or go?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. I am married with kids, I never really wanted kids. I love my kids and I'd do anything for them. However I feel weighted down by kids and marriage. I have this overwhelming sense of responsibility and I don't want to walk away a fail the... View more

Hi everyone. I am married with kids, I never really wanted kids. I love my kids and I'd do anything for them. However I feel weighted down by kids and marriage. I have this overwhelming sense of responsibility and I don't want to walk away a fail them. I had always been a free spirit and we weren't together very long before we had kids so I feel like we missed out on valuable time together. I now I feel like I'm locked down and I can't do the things I used to. My new doctor won't medicate me and says I need to talk to a Phsychologist but i really don't want to... my old Phsychologist I had a great bond with but she's 3.5 hrs away... do I need to just suck it up and soldier on for my kids?

AnnaPixel Dealing with divorce as a teenager/student
  • replies: 4

Hi, I don't know if anyone will see this but I wanted advice, or at least someone to talk to. A few months ago (3 or 4?) my parents told me they were getting a divorce, I am 17 years old and still live with them and my younger sister. It was pretty m... View more

Hi, I don't know if anyone will see this but I wanted advice, or at least someone to talk to. A few months ago (3 or 4?) my parents told me they were getting a divorce, I am 17 years old and still live with them and my younger sister. It was pretty much a shock to me, whether through my own willful ignorance or just not noticing how they had grown distant from each other. I've felt just so, so bad ever since and I either want to cry or sleep all the time. This year is my last in high school and I just want to focus on my studies but I can't even motivate myself to get up before 1pm and the holidays will end soon. I started to fall behind in schoolwork and now I've got exams which actually count to my stupid ATAR to worry about. I just want to do well but if last term is anything to go by, I feel like I'll just get home every day after school and waste time apathetically on my phone or cry instead of actually working. I also found it really difficult to concentrate on work in class, just in general. Academics are basically the only thing I can do, and the family issues are affecting that so much. I have no motivation to do any of the things I thought I loved doing - drawing, writing, even lazy things like watching TV seem like they take too much effort. I'm just counting the days until the year ends and I can leave this horrible house. My mum is like "oh if you move to go to uni maybe I'll move with you" which makes me just want to go somewhere so remote she'd never follow me, maybe out of spite lol. I just want to be anywhere else, or just in the future with at least some idea if what I want to do. I don't know, whenever I look up stuff about divorce online it's always from the adults' point of view and I never hear how people my age cope with it. I'm really scared and sad and I just want to go away.

Amity_A venting: My Partner has depression and so do I
  • replies: 1

My girlfriend (26 years old) was diagnosed with depression yesterday after feeling down for over a month. I'm 27 and have battled depression since I was 14. I have been well in control for years but I still have my bad days and periods like anyone. I... View more

My girlfriend (26 years old) was diagnosed with depression yesterday after feeling down for over a month. I'm 27 and have battled depression since I was 14. I have been well in control for years but I still have my bad days and periods like anyone. I'm finding it really hard to see the person I love most feel the way I did. The initial, intense fear and uncertainty. The overwhelming emptiness and frustration. My depression literally nearly killed me and I never want her to feel anywhere close to what I did. Honestly, I'm terrified.

Southernskyes New and confused with my relationships
  • replies: 9

Hey guys ok a very brief overview of my situation... I have been married for 23yrs and have been unhappy for the last 10yrs... i left 18mths ago but He wants the family back...I have been seeing someone who is married and is unhappy too... he hasn’t ... View more

Hey guys ok a very brief overview of my situation... I have been married for 23yrs and have been unhappy for the last 10yrs... i left 18mths ago but He wants the family back...I have been seeing someone who is married and is unhappy too... he hasn’t left his wife yet but says he is only there for the kids... I’m confused at what I should be doing.. I know it sounds so wrong... any advise would be much appreciated... thanks

Bethie Busy lives
  • replies: 3

Hi Well school goes back monday at least in Queensland so my life will yet again be sent into over drive. Normally i go back to work around mid Feb which will be 3 days a week. Mondays are crazy volunteering then driving my son around for school, the... View more

Hi Well school goes back monday at least in Queensland so my life will yet again be sent into over drive. Normally i go back to work around mid Feb which will be 3 days a week. Mondays are crazy volunteering then driving my son around for school, then picking him up from the other side of the city just after 9pm. Alot of crazy city peak hour traffic involved. Tuesday's is all day again with refugees and reception work at community centre. I really need to work on my boundaries. One of my neighbours is a dear old soul but a active alcholic. Im in recovery from drug and alchol addiction and even after 17 years prefer people to not drink in my car but every time she needs a ride somewhere i take her and she opens a can in the car. Ive asked her to please not but i dont think she remembers and i worry she gets so drunk she will fall and hert herself if she catches transport or walks. Knowing how i like spending alone time with my son she now wants to be with me to get him mondays. Its our time. Mother and Son talk time. Hes 14 and needs that with me. Just the same as he goes into the garden and plays criket with his Dad. Thats their thing. Im ranting atm sorry but seriously its Peeing me off big time.

sye How to exist in a marriage?
  • replies: 9

I used the word exist ; as I don't really have a life inside my marriage. I exist in more of an agreement, ie: I go to work I am the provider, I have an extremely high pressure high stress job which I enjoy very much which I am good at as well. Its a... View more

I used the word exist ; as I don't really have a life inside my marriage. I exist in more of an agreement, ie: I go to work I am the provider, I have an extremely high pressure high stress job which I enjoy very much which I am good at as well. Its also a very good distraction for me. Like many people who post here I suffer from anxiety and depression greatly. I am medicated for it accordingly which take the edge off life. I have been off and on meds as in my own way have been trying to convince myself I don't have mental health issues. I am at peace with that now. I will dart around alot of my mind is a messy place but try to get what I want to say across. My marriage is a convenience. I used to love my wife. Somewhere deep down inside is a register of exactly that. But theres no feeling there any more which co-incides with that same register. Well there might be but I think I block it out. I am amazing at blocking things/avoidance tactics as my psych calls it so its there somewhere, just masked. I go to work, I help out around the house (significantly more of late, as my wife works) and try to be a husband who is actually in touch and contributes to the family, take my kids to events and things they do etc while she sleeps and or does other stuff. But after all this I am alone. I am lonely in my marriage. I am disconnected from someone who i married years and years ago and have been with all my life. My marriage (in my eyes) is failing. I sleep in a different place in the house to my wife now. There has not been intimacy in what feels like forever, the last time I tried to initiate it it was turned into a joke so in my own mind at that point I concluded any action to ever try again, ie: I gave up. No I don't feel worthless, yes I am overweight, but I do feel incredibly rejected, and I am angry about it. I would never hit or physically abuse my wife ; I could not do that to another person hell I don't like hurting anything, but I do not have alot of time for her any more, and respect has gone out the window. This is not healthy and born of the continual rejection and now frustration. Sadly I have a high sex drive and she has negative infinity sex drive. So I satisfy myself. That fixes the pleasure bit, however, I am still awfully alone and lack connection that intimacy brings.

Eyzma Communication Stratigies Needed
  • replies: 1

I don’t feel like my mum has time for me, and she doesn’t listen to what I say. Very often our conversations turn into her telling me what’s happening, rather then me answering her “Hows things Question” I always call her, travel to see her and make ... View more

I don’t feel like my mum has time for me, and she doesn’t listen to what I say. Very often our conversations turn into her telling me what’s happening, rather then me answering her “Hows things Question” I always call her, travel to see her and make the effort to see her. However when the responsibility to organise to see each other is on her she tells me she is too tired to drive, or simply doesn’t talk to me or respond to messages. We live about four hours apart however she holidays where I live and she sees a specialist doctor in my local area, she always complains that I never see her but cant tell me when she is in my area or she does tell me but will not answer messages I leave to organise to see her when she’s around. Having left a serious relationship recently she offered help in the form of paying my phone bill however when I asked for help she has left me disappointed, telling me she had her own bills. This answer would be fine however she later posted updates on her California Holiday she had taken my step sister and brothers on without telling myself. She does this often telling me that everyone has their own life, she cant always help. I feel quite abandoned and disappointed and don’t know how to bring it up with her? What could be some conversation strategies I could use?