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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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thoughtscollide I think I want to break up with my partner ..?
  • replies: 13

Hello everyone.. I don't know whether it is because of my depression, or whether I really want to? I feel awful because she is good to me, she has helped me so much this year. I feel ungrateful because of her generosity but I don't think I am in love... View more

Hello everyone.. I don't know whether it is because of my depression, or whether I really want to? I feel awful because she is good to me, she has helped me so much this year. I feel ungrateful because of her generosity but I don't think I am in love with her. I have been working on myself these last few months, it has been long overdue. But, I just keep having this thought that we are not right. I just feel awful and sad about it. I do really care about her but something is not right. I don't know what it is. I love her but I am not in love with her. I would rather be honest with her than keep on going like this. I keep waiting for the 'right time' knowing full well that there is no right time. Thanks, I hope I made sense

Pinkandblue82 Lost my job and possibly my husband days apart
  • replies: 1

I am absolutely destroyed at the moment, we found out on Tuesday that our entire department australia wide is being shut down in the next few weeks depending on leases and now last night my husband who works away messaged me to tell me he doesnt thin... View more

I am absolutely destroyed at the moment, we found out on Tuesday that our entire department australia wide is being shut down in the next few weeks depending on leases and now last night my husband who works away messaged me to tell me he doesnt think he wants to come home as he feels unloved and unwanted. I am numb, i feel physically sick and want to curl up and die but I am at work taking all the overtime i can as i have not got another job lined up. I dont know what to do i cant force him to stay and i cant force my self to pay him attention etc when i am physically exhausted and teetering on the edge as it is - hence the no sex or attention in the first place he has threatened to leave before but i think it is real this time, things have been tough for awhile I am worried about my mental state, and i have 2 kids at home that rely on me for everything...

Galactic_Gizmo My Dad just got engaged...
  • replies: 11

So my parents are going through a divorce and i am the only one of three kids who is still talking to our dad. Well i just found out today that he has gotten engaged. Ive never even met her. Ive attempted to contact her and she has spoken with me bri... View more

So my parents are going through a divorce and i am the only one of three kids who is still talking to our dad. Well i just found out today that he has gotten engaged. Ive never even met her. Ive attempted to contact her and she has spoken with me briefly on a couple of occassions, but she has never made an effort to contact me in return. (Yep he was dating her while my parents were still married). She seems like a lovely lady. I think i should be happy that he is happy, but i just feel....weird. My mum doesnt know yet. Its going to be a disaster when she finds out. I guess being 7 months pregnant with an anxiety disorder probably doesnt help my emotional state. I don't know how to react.

Denv12 Single,CFS/OCD And Feeling Down.
  • replies: 7

Hi. I havent been in here lately. I have cfs (chronic fatigue),mild OCD and living on my own.I cope at the best of times.I look after myself,things like acupressure and "Faster E.F.T". Its not so much the OCD its the cfs.I dont travel.I have to find ... View more

Hi. I havent been in here lately. I have cfs (chronic fatigue),mild OCD and living on my own.I cope at the best of times.I look after myself,things like acupressure and "Faster E.F.T". Its not so much the OCD its the cfs.I dont travel.I have to find things to do to get through a day. Good thing I have the internet. I dont own a car or have a drivers licence. I get everything home delivered.I see my neighbours in passing but I lack companions. I dont like living on my own.I do my daily budget and watch my finances so I stay in front.I guess I'm organised to some degree. I read a lot,self help books are always good.Got a few of those. If you have CFS too and or OCD you're welcome to compare notes. Thanks for stopping by.

Guest_128 This is where you can talk about your kids.
  • replies: 7

Hey everyone I thought I would start this thread for people that need to talk/ask and get support from fellow members. It doesn't matter how small or big the issues might be,there are a lot of parents here that have either dealt with similar issues o... View more

Hey everyone I thought I would start this thread for people that need to talk/ask and get support from fellow members. It doesn't matter how small or big the issues might be,there are a lot of parents here that have either dealt with similar issues or are sure to in the future. So my 19yr old I told to move out of home two nights ago, I have decided that after all these years of me giving all I can,nurturing,holidays,private school (cause I can't help there)canteen,different birthday with whole class every year,trips to Italy,Gallipoli,Bali,cruise ship,multiple camping holidays,good clothes,redoes of bedroom,welcoming bf,bla bla bla. She has told me she remembers none of it except me being pissed. That Dad will go garentor for a house, I do nothing,and don't work. Bla bla bla Hubby doesn't want conflict and neither do I,I am sick of it ,I have been a mum for 28years of my 45yrs. I have totally f up. They are all 3 spoiled rotten. I don't want her to go on bad terms,but I am sick of cleaning up after her,3 towels a day,all lids,draws doors are left open. They just think I'm crap cause I have mental issues. Later

Paullus When things couldn't get much worse!
  • replies: 3

As if coping with depression and anxiety isn't enough, I go and get myself involved with a bloody sociopath over three years and finally get the courage to end it. Why the hell does low self worth throw you into the arms of a manipulating abuser. I'm... View more

As if coping with depression and anxiety isn't enough, I go and get myself involved with a bloody sociopath over three years and finally get the courage to end it. Why the hell does low self worth throw you into the arms of a manipulating abuser. I'm so bloody angry at myself for being so weak minded. Sorry, just venting and a little distraugut.

melbbear Not coping with break up
  • replies: 3

Really struggling here. Boyfriend of two years left for a month’s overseas holiday 2 weeks ago. Four days into the holiday, he sends a message saying he’s not sure if the relationship is what he wants. I lost it and we had a massive blow out which en... View more

Really struggling here. Boyfriend of two years left for a month’s overseas holiday 2 weeks ago. Four days into the holiday, he sends a message saying he’s not sure if the relationship is what he wants. I lost it and we had a massive blow out which ended with him blocking me on all social media. Two days later we talked via one of the hook up apps and said we'd discuss shit when he got back. The day after that a friend sent me a link to an Instagram account that featured pictures of my BF all loved up with some other dude . This wasn’t my bf’s account, it was the other dudes and the comments he’d attached to the pics made it sound like it was a new relationship – my bf and I hadn’t actually broken up at this point. I went crazy at this and called the Bf some not very nice names but I couldn’t belive what I was seeing and hearing. Basically he had met this dude who was also on holiday at the same place, hooked up and spent 5 days together before they moved on to different parts of their respective holidays. They were going to meet up once more just before my ex Bf was due to return to Aus because they were now seriously in love and wanted to be together. My ex is now planning to return to Aus to sort out some stuff before trying relocate back overseas to be with this other guy. I don’t know how to deal with this. The worst thing is that my last ex did EXACTLY the same thing to me. Ended our relationship while away and then me finding out via social media the reason why he was ending it was another guy. I don’t know how to deal with this. I feel worthless at the moment and that the relationships were just something to fill in time till something better came along. Just so easy to dispose of. Not important enough to break up with me in person.

Leo2017 Making it worse, but just want to help
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm new to posting in the forum, but a long term reader of all the post and advice, it has helped in so many ways. I'm reaching out to the BB community to hopefully get some support and perspective on my situation. I'm a partner of someone who su... View more

Hi, I'm new to posting in the forum, but a long term reader of all the post and advice, it has helped in so many ways. I'm reaching out to the BB community to hopefully get some support and perspective on my situation. I'm a partner of someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, we've been together for 9 years, for which he has had un-diagnosed depression for all of it. This year he was medicated and diagnosed with depressions, however, over the last few weeks he has really spiralled, he stopped seeing his psychologist around 6 weeks ago (he thought he was on the road to recovery) and the medication he's on does not seem to be taking effect. After a number of bad GP visits (unfortunately it seems there are a number of GP's out there who did not seem to understand his condition) we have finally found one that is caring, compassionate and wants to help. However, due to my partners work, he is often interstate so the appointment have been delayed time and time again. More recently he has told me that he finds it hard to be around me, because I am the only person who knows the real him. He has told me he can't be at home with our family because when he's at home he can't pretend to be someone else and can't cope with the anxiety and depression that overwhelms him. He told me that when he's with other people he can pretend to be someone else which eases the pain. He has been interstate a lot over the past few weeks, and when he is here he's being staying with friends and family as a distraction (his words, not mine!). I am finding it hard to cope myself, I worry about him a lot and just want to help. I am the type of personality that just wants to fix things, but understand that depression and anxiety cannot be fixed by another person. It's almost like I'm walking on egg-shells around him because I don't want to upset him, but more than anything I want him to come home so that I can be there by his side while he fights this battle - but am I making things worse? It's hard to not think that I am just adding to the issues. I am trying to be supportive, loving and giving him the space he needs - but I'm also human, and I'm starting to struggle with my own emotions and feel the cracks showing. I've read a lot of articles about depression but will never understand what sufferers of depression and anxiety go through, so it's so hard for me to understand where he is coming from. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

GetCarter Lost the Spark
  • replies: 1

Hi All, I am new to the forums and am seeking some support/help. I am almost 40, married 9 years with two kids. My marriage is in crisis and I don't know what to do. For the past 3-4 years I have felt disconnected from almost everything in my life. I... View more

Hi All, I am new to the forums and am seeking some support/help. I am almost 40, married 9 years with two kids. My marriage is in crisis and I don't know what to do. For the past 3-4 years I have felt disconnected from almost everything in my life. I have left friendships, my health, my relationship with my wife on cruise control and everything has deteriorated. To all outward appearances everything seems great. I'm outgoing, employed, involved in the kids activities etc but the reality is very different. Apart from my kids, I don't really care about anything. I am doing the bare minimum at work and am afraid that I will get caught out and lose my job. My wife is not getting the love and support she needs from me and when she presses me I withdraw and resort to shitty tactics like stonewalling and gas-lighting. We have had some pretty horrible arguments and I have said some pretty horrible stuff to her, which she is having great difficulty in getting past. She has lost faith and trust in our relationship, she says she feels very alone and just barely keeping it together. I am just sitting back watching my life burn not feeling much of anything. There is a lot of resentment built up between us and the rift seems insurmountable. My wife says she wants me and us, that she loves me and wants us both to be happy. I don't hate her, I respect a lot about her, but I'm numb. I am terrified of leaving the kids, the effect it will have on them, I know it would destroy my wife to not see them everyday - but the thought of starting over on my own is appealing. Lately I have just been focusing on gratifying behaviors - eating too much junk food, watching shows/movies/ playing video games etc - basically avoiding doing anything positive or proactive in my life - and fear that if I leave it is just me taking the easy option out at the expense of so much. I am 40 soon and in the worst physical and mental shape of my life. I have many friends, but no close friends and no one that I feel comfortable talking to. I am uncomfortable talking to family or friends, I like keeping things private and putting on a brave face. If anyone has experienced anything like this and has some advice it will be gratefully received.

CLT3 At a cross road, with very small amount of people to talk too.
  • replies: 3

Ahh, where to start. last year my ex and I split up. It was a messy break up at that too. She left me for someone else. When her and new partner were together she fell pregnant after 4 weeks. They were together for 5 months. 4 of those months he was ... View more

Ahh, where to start. last year my ex and I split up. It was a messy break up at that too. She left me for someone else. When her and new partner were together she fell pregnant after 4 weeks. They were together for 5 months. 4 of those months he was cheating on her with multiple females, he was on drugs like weed and ice. The day after they broke up, she went to his sisters house to pick up belongings. She walked into his room to find him in bed with another person. An altercation happened and the ex girlfriend got hit in the face and kneed in the belly (still pregnant at the time as well). She called me up and I went straight there, the police were called and the ambos came as well. As we were waiting for them to come, he was denying the whole thing then contradicted himself saying it was a natural reflex. After awhile her and I got back together, went to every hospital, baby shopping, buying things she needed for the hospital. After 3 months I asked her to marry me (we were together 6 years before we split). I asked for her fathers permission first, then at Christmas time in front of her family popped the question. She said yes. February our daughter was born (she's not mine but she got treated as such) my bond with her is unbreakable. given her actual fathers past, I asked the ex to give it at least six months before he could see her. Even his mother thought that it was a fair call. I asked for a few of reasons,1) was so we could get settled in this new life, as it is we have 2 boys as well. 2) I thought I was protecting them both. 3) was a selfish reason and that was I didn't want him near them at all. 10 months back together, but in that time she went behind my back seen him, had him under a different name in her phone. When that happened we were looking into buying our first family car. I was fuming I didn't want to get into dept to be stuffed over. Eventually at her own discretion she told him to piss off anyways. Got the car after that. we always had some fights mainly because I wanted to start saving for a house. Something to call home. I work longish hours at work doing 2pm too 11pm, I let myself go abit wouldn't have a shower all the time because I was stuffed from work 25-30 minute drive home and I had to be awake early for school drops offs and for our daughter while the ex slept. Well now we've split again, she's been talking to him again even slept with him while I was at work, making a living for us. I love her but what do I do?