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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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kanga_brumby Chat thread for parents of Autistic people
  • replies: 0

Hi all hopefully some of you can put our heads together if you have an Autistic child/ adult and feel there is nowhere to run or hide. you can come here have a coffee lay it down get it out get a straggly and get back into doing what we do. All day e... View more

Hi all hopefully some of you can put our heads together if you have an Autistic child/ adult and feel there is nowhere to run or hide. you can come here have a coffee lay it down get it out get a straggly and get back into doing what we do. All day every day. Few know what we do it's 48 hour days and 14 day weeks for some of us. Especially the single parents among us. Kanga

Katanne Needing advice
  • replies: 2

Hi - this is the first time of posting on a forum but am really needing some advice. My husband and I are going through a really patch at the moment and even though I still love him and really want our marriage to work I am not sure how to fix what i... View more

Hi - this is the first time of posting on a forum but am really needing some advice. My husband and I are going through a really patch at the moment and even though I still love him and really want our marriage to work I am not sure how to fix what is wrong. To cut a long story short we have two daughters who are currently school aged, I work full time and my husband works casually (he tried to set up his own business with a friend of his a couple of years ago but unfortunately this has not been successful). I believe (and this is where I need advice) that my husband is depressed about the business not being successful, his business partner really letting him down and that currently he is not really being able to provide for the family. My husband thinks that to improve his well being instead of having the girls in before and after school care (and us saving the money) that he will look after them himself in the afternoons. However by doing this he is not earning money and this then means that he is stressed about not earning any money and being able to pay the mortgage/normal bills. My wage can only stretch so far and even though I will pay for the bills that I can afford, my husband then thinks that I can't budget my money as I am not paying off the credit card as quickly as I (or he would like). We had a big argument last weekend as I had asked him to take one of our daughters to a swimming lesson which he didn't like and he said to me that once he starts to do one thing (ie picking up the girls from school) that I then take advantage of him and he can't get them into a routine (I found this really hard to hear considering that it was a once off). My husband also thinks that I am not affectionate towards him however when you have your "so called husband" blame you constantly for everything that isn't right you will not exactly want to be affectionate to that person either. He regularly says that I have changed since we got together however this as prior to our children coming along so of course things would be different now. Could someone let me know what their opinions are - as I said because we have children and because I want our marriage to work I am not sure where to go from here By the way I would be the first person to admit that I am in no way perfect and have made errors along the way but do try and do things for the family not for myself.

Emma819 How to break up with someone who is a danger to themselves
  • replies: 3

Hi I want to break up with my long term boyfriend (live in) as I feel like we should be friends. However I am afraid he will hurt himself if I do as I have gone to before and he has not taken it well. help I feel so stuck.

Hi I want to break up with my long term boyfriend (live in) as I feel like we should be friends. However I am afraid he will hurt himself if I do as I have gone to before and he has not taken it well. help I feel so stuck.

mar_k MOVING ON ...how to
  • replies: 2

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apolo... View more

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apology for me, I need it I feel sad for her , I am angry it happened, I approached that person, but heh, no resolutuion, lets move on... for our own sakes I had to in the past with tears help

sadmum63 Need help with adult sons depression
  • replies: 1

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him ... View more

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him feel better. He seems to be worse lately and that could be partly due to me moving on with a new relationship after my husband passed away ( that was not my sons father) He constantly texts me and tells me he is not coping and he is going to end it all. I think in the past I have enabled his behaviour when i think i have been trying to help him. I am always trying to 'fix' things for him and make him feel better. now it seems to have got to a point where i cant do or say anything to help him but he still keeps texting me and calling me. I feel like I need to toughen up and give a bit of 'tough love' but have no idea whether that is the right thing to do. any suggestions would be great. he has been to therapy, had ECT therapy, been to a psychologist that he wouldn't talk to. he does take his tablets, but he also uses drugs and dope to make him 'feel better'.

HopeForAll Don't feel cared about.
  • replies: 2

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts ... View more

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts etc. I had always felt like a bit of an outsider with my family and never felt like I belonged. Me and my mother do not speak at all due to her not being healthy for my mental state of mind. My dad has another family and is a bit of a workaholic, so he never has a lot of time for me. My sister is busy with her family, and so on with numerous family members. I seem to always make the first contact, I call and message constantly and it never seems to be the other way around. It really hurts me because the only person who rings my phone is my partner, and my nan occasionally to see how I am, other then that, I don't feel like I'm even given a second thought. In regards to friends, I'm still trying to create myself and figure out who I am etc. So I'm saying that, I don't feel confident when trying to make friends. And i feel embarrassed to say that, I'm almost 21 and I'm still using the term 'making friends'. But the friends I have made here are all from work, and again, they don't seem to text or even call me first. I just don't understand why everyone does this? Am I honestly not special to people or make an impact on anyone? i just feel really alone and not cared about.

iss_4 Feeling worthless and unloved in relationship.
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure how this works. I do know that I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend recently told me that he is basically tired of being there for me. I suppose the way i've been crying and talking less is taking a toll on him. However, I'm strugglin... View more

I'm not sure how this works. I do know that I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend recently told me that he is basically tired of being there for me. I suppose the way i've been crying and talking less is taking a toll on him. However, I'm struggling with my anger now. He has told me he wants to week off from our relationship. No talking, no seeing each other. Which I think is selfish. One of my best friends is lying in the Intensive Care Unit with sepsis. It has spread throughout his body and is attacking his organs. He's been in a coma for 2 and a half weeks. So naturally, I'm struggling. The fact that my partner has decided to block me out of his life during this time has made everything worse. I feel worthless because of him. Like he'd prefer to be alone without a burden attached to his hip. It makes me feel so unloved. I'm not sure if i'm just meant to say what's on my mind here or what. But i'm just so angry and I don't want to burden family or friends with how I'm feeling, because it clearly makes them love you less and drives them away. Which I think is so wrong and upsetting. I've battled depression for 6 years now. He knew this going into our relationship and I don't think he cares and or understands what goes on in my mind. I'm worried that he will reach the end of the week and he won't miss me. And I will have waited a week to be dumped and left behind with a broken heart and a feeling of worthlessness.

Lacus Struggling 1st year marriage to ADHD husband
  • replies: 2

Im struggling to cope with my 1st of marriage. There are time when i have regrets or think "did i make the right decision" or "what have i got myself into" We dated for 2yr before we got engaged, and married 2yr after in Oct last year. I did have sec... View more

Im struggling to cope with my 1st of marriage. There are time when i have regrets or think "did i make the right decision" or "what have i got myself into" We dated for 2yr before we got engaged, and married 2yr after in Oct last year. I did have second thoughts during our engagement but i thought it was just cold feet. 4yr , I thought I know well enough about my husband. He was born overseas, adopted to an Aus family when he was 10. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed (not trying to be condescending just stating the fact). He had ADHD and was put into medication when he was little boy for short time, he said he doesnt need it becaus he's only lowe level ADHD. While I'm aware of his condition/history, I admit i didnt have full understanding of it or how it would affect our relationship, I was not prepared of how much harder it is to live with one. He has no passion, not good at communicating or expressing his emotion. When I try to talk to him, sometimes I have no response back, feels like talking to a wall. He cant make decisions and when i asked question, his fav answer is "i dont know". All these irritates me and frustrates me. Im definitely the one wearing the pants in this relationship and this affects our relationship emotionally and sexually and Im starting to become less attracted to him. When i bring up any issue with him, he just sits there and mop but doesnt do anything about it to change or improve. So the problem will never be solved and it'll be there like a broken record. We argue multiple times in the week, over the same thing. I tried talking to him or text him so he can read and digest it slowly but the messages doesnt seem to get through to him. I wish i could turn back the time or reset all this but i know this is not a game. I feel stuck, I cant go backwards because I promise to love him and accept him. I also dont want to leave him, and be another person that makes him feel abandons all over again. I cant move forward because nothing seems to be improving, or with his background i don't feel like there's any hope of improvement. I cant talk to my family because they can be judgemental, but that's another topic for another day. I cant talk to any of my friends about it because most of them aren't married yet. I did read that most find 1st year of marriage is the hardest one. Can someone please tell me if this is normal for 1st year or if anyone can give me any advise on how to cope with my ADHD husband. Thanks!

Shell82 Feeling alone with no support
  • replies: 3

Ok so this is my first time trying to reach out for help/advice from strangers. So we just had our second baby a few weeks ago and my whole world is wrapped up in both children ( 4 years old and 2 weeks old). I would do anything for them. I don't hav... View more

Ok so this is my first time trying to reach out for help/advice from strangers. So we just had our second baby a few weeks ago and my whole world is wrapped up in both children ( 4 years old and 2 weeks old). I would do anything for them. I don't have the typical depression signs that people always talk about after a baby. The thing that is getting to me most is when I reach out to anyone for help (family or friends) I am getting absolutely no support or understanding. This is especially bad from my husband and my dad who also lives with us. I could ask for something as simple as a nappy change or taking out the rubbish and I get "why are you so lazy" or "you can do it" or "why isn't it already done" after being up all night with two sick children, being sick myself and having an emergency cesarean). Then when it comes to cleaning the house I get yelled at again by both as to why its not done (again receiving no help). Its come to a point where I'm doing all of things I shouldn't be doing after an emergency csection and I again end up in tears (I'll hide away doing housework while crying so I dont get yelled at, critized or shamed) because I'm in so much pain. Am I wrong to ask for help?? Am I asking to mich?? Is it wrong to need support and someone to talk to?

Danni4 Affairs
  • replies: 4

My husband had sex with someone else before we got married. He also drank a lot. He became infatuated with someone younger than me and so I went and did the same thing. I became intimate with this man and then the man called it off. My husband new th... View more

My husband had sex with someone else before we got married. He also drank a lot. He became infatuated with someone younger than me and so I went and did the same thing. I became intimate with this man and then the man called it off. My husband new things weren't right and got us into counselling. We then had kids. He got drunk and held my head almost to the floor twice. He then had that same lady work for him lost interest in me and I again met someone else. That didn't work out for me. I sought counselling. He found out about the other men. He tried to kill himself. I felt I had to stay with him. I found someone new and was going to leave. That person didn't work out but my parents helped me leave. I had a breakdown. He told everyone and the kids are suffering because people don't want to be around me. I have a new relationship and am very happy. I worry a lot.