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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Bee1998 Heavily grieving the loss of my beloved Grandmother, and my partner hasn’t been very available
  • replies: 1

I lost my Grandmother one week ago, on the 9th of May. She had been diagnosed with bowel cancer about a year and a half ago, and two weeks ago, she fell over on the tiles at home and hit her head. She was admitted into hospital, with bleeding to the ... View more

I lost my Grandmother one week ago, on the 9th of May. She had been diagnosed with bowel cancer about a year and a half ago, and two weeks ago, she fell over on the tiles at home and hit her head. She was admitted into hospital, with bleeding to the brain. Only a few days later, she passed away suddenly while in hospital. This has been the hardest loss that I have experienced by far. I was crying and worrying about my Grandma passing since I was a child, for my entire childhood. I am now 26, and it has been so difficult time in my life. My grandma wasn’t just a grandma, she was my absolute everything. She was the person who guided me through my entire life. She was my teacher, my parent (she practically raised me, as my mum was abusive, and my father was absent), she was my superhero, and the superglue to our entire family. She was my best friend. I went to see her in hospital the day of her passing. This was the first time I had seen anyone deceased, and it was an intense moment for me. For the entire week after she passed, I couldn’t stop crying. I would wake up early every morning, and the minute it sunk in again that she was gone, I would burst into tears. I live with my partner, and I have felt as though he hasn’t been overly supportive of me during this extremely sensitive and difficult time for me.He was supportive in the fact that he came with me to visit my Grandma on the day of her passing, but since then, I haven’t felt any form of love from him. Every day, he has been very distant. He hasn’t been spending any time with me (apart from going to buy groceries). He just sits in a seperate room and plays chess. I also haven’t felt any love from him. He hasn’t been affectionate in any way. Also, just two days after my Grandma’s passing, he was asking about sex. And the days following, he was asking me to perform sexual acts on him, despite knowing / seeing how heavily I had been grieving. We were also meant to be going to Rhode Island in America together at the end of June this year, as he needs to go for work, and invited me to come with him. I have never been overseas, and was looking forward to going with him. Just yesterday, he mentioned that it might be best for him to go alone (given the circumstances). I found this odd, because shouldn’t it be my choice whether I feel up to going or not? This has brought a lot of mixed feelings and anxiety for me, as he cheated on me during his last work trip to the United States.

Jessksch Dealing with Depression at work...taking a sick day once a month to deal with stress?
  • replies: 5

So I have been at my job for over a year now, and maybe each month I take one sick day and only work part-time anyways (I know I am very lucky in this case, especially how things are today). Lately they have been putting me on getting things complete... View more

So I have been at my job for over a year now, and maybe each month I take one sick day and only work part-time anyways (I know I am very lucky in this case, especially how things are today). Lately they have been putting me on getting things completed before a certain time frame , so there is a bit of pressure on me, but it has been fine for months and I like that there was a bit of challenge for me. This week has been horrendous though: I have seen a few people in the year crying and being upset in the bathrooms ( about 6 people since this year) and on Mon morning already was someone called in and came out of the main office crying. Then we had a meeting that we were too slow in doing our work and need to prioritize speed over quality of work. Now, this hit me hard as I like giving my best quality of work for individual clients and it was helping them in the long run. It involves health so I want them to get the best of health as I can offer. Since that Monday, I kind of lost it today; the manager and supervisor were also under pressure and kept putting things in front of me, I put things in sections I knew I was rightfully doing, they assumed it put it there so I didn't have to handle the situation, but when I explained it, they were "fine" and put it back. No apology. This aggressive assumption that I was incompetent, as well as how things started this week really set me off. I took off work for tomorrow as when I got home all I could do was fall asleep. I feel so guilty now, since I asked two weeks ago for a day off and they gave it to me for a long weekend, and now I am asking for a day off to rest when things are busy. My head is hurting so much at the moment still and I think the stress of this week alone has made me physically sick with a sinus infection. I guess I kind of needed to vent to people who could understand. I am seeing my psychologist tomorrow for a talk and keep up with my mental health plan.

Guest_41540877 Lonely
  • replies: 1

My husband is an interstate truck driver. He works huge hours and not home alot. I understand his work and why he does it. But when he's home he does some work out in the yard or cleans his truck then he sleeps. That's our lives in a nut shell. We sl... View more

My husband is an interstate truck driver. He works huge hours and not home alot. I understand his work and why he does it. But when he's home he does some work out in the yard or cleans his truck then he sleeps. That's our lives in a nut shell. We sleep in separate bedrooms. There is no intimacy, besides no sex there is no loving intimacy. We never do anything together. I don't ask for much. Today I suggested a couple of drinks on the back verandah and just chat. That ended up with- let's watch a movie with him falling to sleep 5 minutes in to it and me going outside with the dogs.

Sparks16 Feeling very confused
  • replies: 3

Hi everyoneHave posted on here over the years with various things but looking for some advice from people who may have had a similar experience or have some insight to help.Background - been in relationship for 7 years later this year, not married.2 ... View more

Hi everyoneHave posted on here over the years with various things but looking for some advice from people who may have had a similar experience or have some insight to help.Background - been in relationship for 7 years later this year, not married.2 kids togetherRelationship not great and hasn't been for years, sleep in separate rooms no intimacy, nothing for years but trying to work through it and make it work for the most part.Got into a massive fight in the car the other day that got physical.I was driving and accidently took a sharper turn than I meant causing my girlfriend to spill a hot drink on her freshly lasered skin on her face.I instantly felt terrible and looked to pull over once It was safe to do so but before I could she started screaming obscenities at me and punching me in the side of the head telling me I did it on purpose.Gashed my arm trying to protect myself, I managed to pull over and grabbed her arms to stop her hitting me eventually.Miraculous I didn't crash the car or at least run up a kerbAll this happened while my 3 year old daughter was in the car.She has gotten physical probably a dozen times in the past, I for one have never laid a hand on her.In the aftermath I am the one who gets called the abuser, the narcissist and blamed for it, 5 days of silent treatment etc.Would this be grounds for most people to leave a relationship? Constantly being accused of being the abusive one but am failing to see how this could be the case when I feel im the one who is being hit, put down, belittled, controlled, manipulatedAny advice or insight would be greatThank you

Jasper Fear of abandonment
  • replies: 1

I can't seem to shake the feeling that everyone in my life would be happier without me and that I should just leave everyone alone. I don't see what I bring to peoples' lives and I know they'd all be better off without me bothering them. I shit at pr... View more

I can't seem to shake the feeling that everyone in my life would be happier without me and that I should just leave everyone alone. I don't see what I bring to peoples' lives and I know they'd all be better off without me bothering them. I shit at providing comfort, I have so many issues that burden others, and I'm not a likeable person. Everyone is just too polite to say anything about it. I know I should just leave before someone tells me the truth. It'll still hurt but at least I'll have control over it all

Guest_56074418 My partner and I fight when we drink
  • replies: 3

Last night my partner and I had a massive dispute because I played a song, I then asked him if he listened to the lyrics and he got fired up. I calmly said "its ok I'll play it again", that lead to him absolutely loosing it at me, saying it's all abo... View more

Last night my partner and I had a massive dispute because I played a song, I then asked him if he listened to the lyrics and he got fired up. I calmly said "its ok I'll play it again", that lead to him absolutely loosing it at me, saying it's all about me and if I don't get what I want I make sure I do. We were drinking having a laugh and chatting about how much we loved each other prior to this suitation. It seemed completely out of the blue. I left, had a shower and got into bed. He came in and told me that he shouldn't be the one who sleeps in another room after a fight and told me to get out of bed. I refused so then he took all my bedding, everything except the mattress. He ripped the pillows out from underneath me then took the blanket and the sheets. He told me to leave but I simply didn't move. I suppose for a few reasons but I was in shock. He didn't lay a hand on me but I was really scared of him. He was behaving like a mad man. I then found a dooner in the cupboard and used a jumper as a pillow, but he came back and took them away too. I layed there freezing until many hours later I feel asleep. I woke up at 3am thinking what do I do? I love him, I really do but now I'm scared of him and how he can treat me. I don't know what to do. I know alcohol is a poision, and he doesn't behave this way when his sober but I don't want to stop him drinking, I just can't handle him behaving like this when he drinks too much. Most of the time we have a beautiful loving relationship. I care for his 3 chrildren as if they were my own. But our somewhat perfect relationship then all goes pear shaped. I know what a red flag is but I can't help thinking this is my fault. Please ask me questions, I won't lie. I need to figure out what to do. I don't want to leave him, but I also don't want this to continue. I am being vulnerable, and I'm prepared to hear the truth. No matter how brutal it is. I please just need help.

Guest_70417971 Lost
  • replies: 1

What do U do when U don't have an emergency contact, no next of kin and don't trust people?

What do U do when U don't have an emergency contact, no next of kin and don't trust people?

Aura46784 Husband Gender Dysphoria
  • replies: 3

Hello, My husband of 20 years has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. This has come as a huge shock to me.He’s saying that he doesn’t want to transition but instead wants to stay with me and our kids.I have many burning questions….- can he live a h... View more

Hello, My husband of 20 years has been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. This has come as a huge shock to me.He’s saying that he doesn’t want to transition but instead wants to stay with me and our kids.I have many burning questions….- can he live a happy life with me without transitioning?- is he just saying this as the safe option?- is his transition inevitable?Would love to hear from women in similar situations or from men who have decided not to transition and how it’s been for them?Still feeling quite numb about it all…..

RLB Lost and losing hope
  • replies: 7

I am new here as I usually like to keep my personal life private, however lately I am feeling lost and I just can't find hope. Recently my boyfriend of 24 years (whom I also lived with) said he was going to visit his family ( like he would usually do... View more

I am new here as I usually like to keep my personal life private, however lately I am feeling lost and I just can't find hope. Recently my boyfriend of 24 years (whom I also lived with) said he was going to visit his family ( like he would usually do) but he actually just left me, took most of his stuff, didn't tell me anything and made out he was visiting family but just left me. I feel so many emotions right now but mostly sad because he didn't even try to talk to me about it, I also feel confused because I don't understand how he could not even try to work through whatever he was feeling and I thought he loved me. I currently feel lost because I have no friends, I have limited support from the one family member I can talk to, I live alone, I have anxiety and I developed agoraphobia about 4 years ago and I thought that he and I would have a family together ( I waited for him, he said it would happen) I gave him years of my life and I trusted him but now I am at an age where I may not be able to conceive anymore all because I waited for him. I wanted a family but now it feels like everything I hoped for is gone and there is nothing left for me to hope for. I have a long history of bad relationships and I don't want to go through it again plus time is not on my side especially in my current situation. I am trying my best to be positive but every now and then I realise my actual situation and lose the positivity I did have. I don't want to adopt or use a surrogate I wanted to have a family the old fashioned way, I see others with a family and it seems so easy for others so why can't I have what I hoped for? I feel like something is wrong with me because I should have met the one by now you would think. I can't see my life without kids and I'm just lost.

Guest_08617785 being afraid of relationships
  • replies: 3

hi there, I’m a 19 year old girl who hasn’t had the best time with previous relationships. (E.g sexual assault, domestic violence, cheating etc.)My current partner is wonderful, treats me great, always listens, always understanding, caring for me. Bu... View more

hi there, I’m a 19 year old girl who hasn’t had the best time with previous relationships. (E.g sexual assault, domestic violence, cheating etc.)My current partner is wonderful, treats me great, always listens, always understanding, caring for me. But recently I’ve been very on edge almost like I’m scared of the safety and peace. And it’s like I’m constantly looking for something bad to happend and scared of being healthy? I love my partner and I’m very afraid to hurt him in this process. I know it takes time to heal from these things.., but does anyone have any tips on how to overcome the toxic thought process and learn how to be comfortable in healthy