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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Sorrowfly Depression, loss of sex and pregnant.
  • replies: 1

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doe... View more

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy. Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this.

Michelle2000 How to stop myself going back
  • replies: 5

Trying not to run back to what i know will be a bad relationship but my anxiety gets the better of me. I dont want to be lonely though.. what can you do to stop ypurself going back out of loneliness or worse falling into a rebound or one night stands... View more

Trying not to run back to what i know will be a bad relationship but my anxiety gets the better of me. I dont want to be lonely though.. what can you do to stop ypurself going back out of loneliness or worse falling into a rebound or one night stands.. i know its weak not being able to be alone but id give anything to even have a chat buddy

Chansy Husband of 5 years is asking for divorce
  • replies: 5

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for almost 5 years. He is asking for a divorce and is already seeing other people I am barely coping with this. I cry all the time and I’ve asked for him to give us a chance but refuses I do... View more

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for almost 5 years. He is asking for a divorce and is already seeing other people I am barely coping with this. I cry all the time and I’ve asked for him to give us a chance but refuses I dont know how I’m supposed to get through this. We live together but seperately and it’s killing me knowing we don’t have a future I don’t know which way to turn anymore

kanga_brumby An apology
  • replies: 8

To all my BB friends and supporters out there. I would like to apologize for my mind set over the last few months. Because of the rift that has been happening with in my family. Plus coupled in there with that being put into an old age home. Getting ... View more

To all my BB friends and supporters out there. I would like to apologize for my mind set over the last few months. Because of the rift that has been happening with in my family. Plus coupled in there with that being put into an old age home. Getting no visitors, not being able to get out because of mobility issues. Trapped in a building with no peers to interact with. Surrounded by people who have various stages of dementia, me with most of my facilities. People in here meaning well posing various questions meaning I have to repeat myself or put it out again in a different way. Sometimes having to tell people off line the same stories over and over .Meaning I am getting nowhere. Cannot get out because My legs not working, staff thinking I have dementia, no visitors, family not responding to messages or cutting me off when I call. All that is doing wonders for my depression, anxiety, if I didn’t have it before I really do now. I have not closed the door between me and my siblings. I have put the invite out to them I made the move quietly. Now it’s in their side of the caught they have to now make the effort. I cannot do all the work it’s a team effort. They no longer seem to know their own brother. If they don’t know me now they never will. If they don’t at least converse with me. So to my BB friends Sorry. forgive me please if possible go a bit easy on me a bit as things are still a bit raw and painful I am working on my family I wont give upon them I have worked on them for over 60 years I wont give up just yet. Kanga

InnerPeace19 Depression and Relationship problems
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. I am new, this is my first post. I have suffered depression for more than 2 years . I am a highly sensitive person too and the issues my family (who live overseas) are having, make me feel sad all the time. This has made a huge impact on... View more

Hi everyone. I am new, this is my first post. I have suffered depression for more than 2 years . I am a highly sensitive person too and the issues my family (who live overseas) are having, make me feel sad all the time. This has made a huge impact on my relationship with my husband. We were having issues before but now I just feel that he should support me in this difficult part of my life but instead he continues to watch porn and be selfish. I have threatened him to leave before but he has promised me he will change but he doesn't. He is deep down a good man and I want to understand him thinking he doesn't do that in purpose but he hurts me, he hurts me very much when he watches porn and thinks about only him and is just with his phone all the time playing games and chatting. I had an episode of anger this weekend and he called my dad because I said I was feeling very lonely. His intention was so my dad could tell me that he loved me and appreciate everything I do for them (I am my dad's moral support and I also helped them financially) but he also told my dad he had slept with prostitutes before and that I haven't forgive him. My dad said something to me after that it got me thinking .. that my husband is like a wolf on sheep's clothing. I kind of knew this but haven't had the strength to leave him .. because I love him Now, with my depression I just feel this relationship is toxic and is giving me more grief and regrets than happiness... I can't trust him. I just don't have anyone to talk to, he is the only person I confide in. We don't have any family in Australia and I don't have many close friends. I almost lost one of them the last time they tried to support me with this situation I really feel the need today to talk with someone ... or to write so someone can read this Thanks in advance for your insights

Callumm Estranged young man
  • replies: 2

Hi my name is callum, im 36 and a single man, ive been estranged from my mother and siblings for 6 years, due to abuse from a young age. I never hear from my father as he is a alcoholic and a child trapped in the 70s. There are days i feel really lon... View more

Hi my name is callum, im 36 and a single man, ive been estranged from my mother and siblings for 6 years, due to abuse from a young age. I never hear from my father as he is a alcoholic and a child trapped in the 70s. There are days i feel really lonely, for example Christmas and bithdays. I struggle with mental illness on a dayly event. I don't work which is hard because ive worked all my life. Back in my 20s i had friends and had so much fun, but now i dont as everyone has either gotten married and had kids or moved on with their lives. So i feel frozen in time. So i guess this is me trying to cope and stay connected.

Leonie230 Struggling.
  • replies: 11

Hi all My partner went overseas to spend time with his family as hes not from here and it wasnt anything out of the norm for that to happen. He visited there every 18 months or so. I stayed here because financially we cant do that trip as a family - ... View more

Hi all My partner went overseas to spend time with his family as hes not from here and it wasnt anything out of the norm for that to happen. He visited there every 18 months or so. I stayed here because financially we cant do that trip as a family - we have two children - every 18 months. He went for 4 weeks. Its now been 10 months and still not home. The intial months passed as a blur. He told us he was staying overseas and not returning...our world collapsed. Didnt see that coming at all. To say we're still struggling here is an understatement. Im going to see a therapist as this anxiety and feelings of rejection and the anger are still there. I feel I am overloading my loved ones for advise and what to do and thought Id be in a much better place by now. Hes returning back here in a few weeks. He misses his kids too much. I dont have a clue how Im going to handle it when it happens. Thanks Leonie.

Hannah23 Not sure if I want to be with my boyfriend anymore.
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting on here and I could really use some help. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and I’m no longer sure if this is what I want. I feel like having that doubt is already indicative enough of what... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first time posting on here and I could really use some help. I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years now and I’m no longer sure if this is what I want. I feel like having that doubt is already indicative enough of what I should be doing. My BF and I have had a pretty great relationship so far. We’ve had some bumps along the way (family problems on both sides mainly, and I’ve had some major depression/anxiety issues) but we’ve gotten through it all. We’ve also been living together for about a year as well. He’s been an absolute rock in regards to my anxiety and depression. Lately though, there’s been a few occasions (mainly during/after arguments) where I’ve questioned whether this is right for me. Like I said earlier, that already makes me feel like it’s wrong.... but is this a common feeling people have? I really love him, but there’s been a few occasions where there’s been something that bothers me and when I try and talk about it, it’s supposedly either a stupid thing to be upset about or i just need to not be so sensitive. I do think some of the things have been trivial, but I also think that if you’re in a relationship with someone, you should be able to talk about things that bother you without being made to feel like you’re acting like a child or just being too sensitive. Sometimes I feel as though my worries aren’t taken seriously and that maybe there’s someone else out there who wouldn’t make me feel bad for being annoyed by things. I end up feeling pretty bad though because I know my BF hasn’t put up with a lot more than potentially any other BF would. The other problem we’re having is that he’s currently here on a Visa, and whenever we talk about applying for his next Visa as a couple, he brings up that he’s not sure if that’s going to happen mainly because his family is overseas etc., but it makes me upset because I’m in a position where I don’t know if this person I’m building a life with is going to decide to stay with me or just leave me. Apart from this I just find myself getting annoyed more often at things he says/does. Like things that never bothered me before about him annoy me now, and I don’t know if this is just a phase or if it’s a sign that this isn’t right for me.

Michelle2000 Breaking up with kids
  • replies: 2

I suffer bad anxiety especially in my relationship.. i feel like i spend my life tip toeing to keep him happy.. i get so much anxiety with every phone call from him just thinking it will end in a fight, because when we do fight i seem to always be cr... View more

I suffer bad anxiety especially in my relationship.. i feel like i spend my life tip toeing to keep him happy.. i get so much anxiety with every phone call from him just thinking it will end in a fight, because when we do fight i seem to always be crying myself to sleep while he just gets angry an blames me for everything, i know its unhealthy but i feel like thats why ive stayed this long (7 years). Ive tried breaking it off before but my anxiety gets the better of me i cant seem to turn it off. And as soon as we get back together i feel my anxiety about what hes doing kind of subside.. i just feel so drained.. i kind of feel like im going to be depressed if i leave an depressed if i stay so i feel really torn up and stuck. I often try an picture my life when i leave.. i picture being free but then the fear of being alone in the world scares me back.. We have 2 kids together as well so its not a situation where i can just cleanly leave i know he will probably purposely make things as bad as he can with the kids i dont trust him at all i just so miserable.. i remember when i was happy i miss it, i miss the old me

Anna_Mac Missing ex boyfriend
  • replies: 4

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me in November due to depression. He said he will start counselling and we may be able to date again once he feels better. His depression was caused by a family situation, very difficult parents etc. I spoke to h... View more

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me in November due to depression. He said he will start counselling and we may be able to date again once he feels better. His depression was caused by a family situation, very difficult parents etc. I spoke to his best friend recently and was told that the guy I was dating was very sad and hurting a lot about the break up, and was very unhappy with the situation. Apparently he is planning on leaving the family farm so he can be happy again. I miss him so much but can't talk to him as he wanted space to sort himself out. He was my best friend and we loved each other very much.