Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Discobox Stuck in limbo
  • replies: 9

My husband and I have decided to seperate after 7 years. I can't say he is a bad person but over the years we have had our problems with him watching porn instead of being intimate with me, going home with two women (drunk) after his 30th birthday (h... View more

My husband and I have decided to seperate after 7 years. I can't say he is a bad person but over the years we have had our problems with him watching porn instead of being intimate with me, going home with two women (drunk) after his 30th birthday (he claims nothing happened) and just generally being a sour, negative person. He has sought counselling, but goes to one session andtakes medication for a month then stops. His drinking became an issue recently and we got into a heated arguement (while both drunk. It was the first time I had drank like that in a very long time and everything I had been annoyed about came up. He is introverted and quiet and I am the opposite, it feels like I have a son rather than a husband and partner. We are now living in the same house in seperate rooms and giving each other space to sort things out. He is going back to his GP and reorganising counselling. I just dont know if I should sit around and wait, or start moving on. Ihaven't given up on us yet, I feel like I should though. Any advice is appreciated ✌

lola_adams i’m alone
  • replies: 1

i’ve always felt alone and distant from all my friends, but recently i’ve realised i really do have no body and no true friends. people don’t actually care about me and i’m feeling so hopeless. nothing is going to change

i’ve always felt alone and distant from all my friends, but recently i’ve realised i really do have no body and no true friends. people don’t actually care about me and i’m feeling so hopeless. nothing is going to change

Frankl15 Constant Rejection
  • replies: 2

I’ve recently connected with my brother from my dads side, this was the first sort of contact with my dad and my dads family so I was excited to meet him. Over the week he hasn’t made the effort to come see me, I told him to let me know when and what... View more

I’ve recently connected with my brother from my dads side, this was the first sort of contact with my dad and my dads family so I was excited to meet him. Over the week he hasn’t made the effort to come see me, I told him to let me know when and what time they could visit as I’m studying and will be busy. I’m still trying to cope with my anxiety and depression at college but handeling it well , anyways I was looking forward the next day to see when he could come visit, no reply’s or messages. The next day there posts of him leaving town, without even the courtesy to let me know. I’ve now jumped back into my depressive state where my fathers rejected me, guys who I’ve liked and been honest with had given me broken promises and now my brother who I’ve spoken on the phone to and was finally happy that I could fix that part of my life is now abandoning me, all I keep thinking is what’s my purpose in life , I was rejected from the start so what form of happiness is left for me ? I literally feel worthless

Jas79 Help me heart broken
  • replies: 3

Hi I meet a girl back in November and she was hanging out with me and then told me she not interested but happy to still be friends, she has depression and anxiety so think she has PTSD and bipolar. we texted ever day for the last few months and hang... View more

Hi I meet a girl back in November and she was hanging out with me and then told me she not interested but happy to still be friends, she has depression and anxiety so think she has PTSD and bipolar. we texted ever day for the last few months and hangout once a week, we had planned a overseas trip together and then the other day she said she wanted to commit to me as she had been praying about it and thinks it’s right. Send me messages that she knows it right and feels loved in my arms. Came to see me yesterday to look at areas to move to a new house so she could be closer to me. She left my place and send me a message saying a hour later saying it’s not right with her and she knows because God’s put in her heart that it’s not right. We where dating for three days I’ve told my family and friends just feel gutted. She say she doesn’t want hear from me anymore or see and not contact her as it will be harrssment. I feel gutted

collegestudent101 Commitment Issues and Daddy Issues?
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I'm a 21 (turning 22) university student who has never been in a relationship. I wouldn't say that I've been pressured into societal standards into getting one but I know for a fact, that this goes beyond that. Since high school, I've... View more

Hello everyone, I'm a 21 (turning 22) university student who has never been in a relationship. I wouldn't say that I've been pressured into societal standards into getting one but I know for a fact, that this goes beyond that. Since high school, I've been in situations where I would find myself in scenarios where I would ultimately push a guy away if he showed interest in me. Weird thing is, I would be interested in that person and would converse with him, sometimes even harmless flirting (with the thought of potentially dating). But as soon as he shows the action back, I would push him away and feel disgusted at myself and towards the guy. At first I thought this was just a phase but as I got out of high school, entered university and was exposed more into the dating world...I would always find myself having the same feeling as my high school self did back then. What I find quite odd is that I know that I like this person, I could sense that our feelings are mutual but as soon as the situation could potentially turn into something "more" than just friends (and possibly some sort of commitment), I would push myself away from this person and ultimately hurt them. This often repeats itself. I don't know why I do this. For awhile, I'm thinking that this could be a result to my parents divorce. It happened at a really early stage of my life where I hardly remember anything but from that, I never grew up with a father figure...yet alone, any sort of male presence in the household. My older sister was the most affected between us & I somewhat feel bad that I don't have any feeling towards it (due to being too young to remember). Growing up, I would hear stories from my mum how my dad was a man that couldn't be trusted and I know for a fact that it's true. I figured out that he cheated on my mum several times and remarried several times as well. Could my fear of commitment and forming all these "exit strategies" be because I'm a child of divorced parents? I have no idea how to change as I find it difficult to get rid of this "feeling"... As much as I hate to admit this, I would find myself having major defensive barriers and a tendency to be jealous most of the time. My preference in men was always someone who was older than me and unfortunately I'm the type who needs constant reassurance. I feel disgusted in myself for having these traits and as obvious as it sounds, are these qualities os someone who suffers from "daddy issues" and is it too late to change?

amba3454 Family issues are making me feel confused
  • replies: 2

Hello, I'm 18 and I've had issues with my family in the past. I was a bit of a troubled kid in high school, got mixed up with the wrong people - wanted to be independent and defied my parents wishes on just about everything. That being said, by the e... View more

Hello, I'm 18 and I've had issues with my family in the past. I was a bit of a troubled kid in high school, got mixed up with the wrong people - wanted to be independent and defied my parents wishes on just about everything. That being said, by the end of grade 12 I'd straightened myself out, graduated with good scores and my relationship with my family was looking up. Since that time, I've had a few spats with them, particularly my mother (we've never really gotten along). She seems to enjoy criticising me for every single thing I do and doesn't understand me at all. She thinks I'm just some stupid kid who will never get anywhere in life. So we get into little spats pretty frequently, nothing too major. Anyway, recently I got busted sneaking back into my house after a night out. I think my main reasons for sneaking out and not just asking to go out were that my parents are very critical of my personal life - who I hang out with, what I do, where I go, it never ends. And I just wanted to have new experiences out in the world on my own, separate from my family. I know that what I did was wrong. I put myself at risk, I worried my parents and I even endangered them by leaving the door unlocked when I left for the night. What makes it worse is that I did it more than once before I got busted. So I'm not saying that I don't deserve any kind of blame, I just feel like the punishment is unfairly harsh. They want to kick me out of home and cut me off completely, disown me from the family and cut me out of the will. They say I've shamed the family name and they are ashamed and disgusted as parents. I'm a little hesitant posting this because they always say that I play the victim card, that I try and get sympathy from others and don't take responsibility. I am taking responsibility, I know it was wrong. At the moment I'm getting the silent treatment and I've been shut out, they won't even look at me and I don't know what to do. They say sorry won't cut it. I just need advice. I want to move out with some friends later on in the year but I don't want to leave things like this, but at the same time maybe it's better if I move out and become more independent, learn more about myself away from my parents?

Knux Starting again
  • replies: 7

Hello fellow members, I recently separated from my wife after 19 years marriage,leaving 3 kids behind and moving interstate to be with family.I was a stay at home dad and was a shift worker.The pressures of life and the fact we didn’t see each other ... View more

Hello fellow members, I recently separated from my wife after 19 years marriage,leaving 3 kids behind and moving interstate to be with family.I was a stay at home dad and was a shift worker.The pressures of life and the fact we didn’t see each other much put an end to the marriage. I have started a new job and put on a brave face at work and am liked by other employees.But for me when I’ve finished work I just shut down,feelings of despair and wondering if I can look at a lady again let alone date again.I am shy but put on a smile to hide my true feelings.At 43 Im not sure I can try again.

Rkovac Broken hearted
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, I feel so happy to have found these forums. I am a 26 year old female. I work full time in a pretty stressful job (emergency services). Shift work also takes its toll on me. i was in a relationship for almost a year with a really great g... View more

Hi everyone, I feel so happy to have found these forums. I am a 26 year old female. I work full time in a pretty stressful job (emergency services). Shift work also takes its toll on me. i was in a relationship for almost a year with a really great guy who is so different from anyone I have ever met, until yesterday. We were extremely close and have never had fights or anything as we are both usually pretty relaxed. He was very kind and thoughtful. We have both had pretty bad childhoods and not perfect lives but instead it has bought us closer and he always said to me that we are a team and go through everything together. The last few weeks he has been under a lot of pressure and became distant from me, I did everything I could to help him etc. but he broke up yesterday as he feels he can't put me first anymore. These last few weeks have been stressful as we found out u was pregnant, it was not planned but we were still happy. There was complications with the baby which made me very sick and almost died and I had to have surgery the day before he broke up with me. Previous to this Rship I was in an extremely abusive relationship and very afraid to let someone in again but I did and now I feel so upset and don't know where to go from here. I feel very alone

Pebz Friends cant deal with me
  • replies: 7

I am having trouble making freinds that I feel safe with. Over the past few years i have been working hard at trying to be a good freind to someone. We work together on community projects which has been great for my wellbeing and i was excited about ... View more

I am having trouble making freinds that I feel safe with. Over the past few years i have been working hard at trying to be a good freind to someone. We work together on community projects which has been great for my wellbeing and i was excited about life and making freinds again. i recently had a break up which knocked me for six. I however have tried to be civil with my ex and we can still get on ok. My freind has been supportive when she can be through all of my breakup and i felt safe that she was a good friend of mine....which was important for me through this breakup as i needed to make freinds that were mine and not join. Yesterday this freind did something that i find disrespectfull of me and our freindship and i totally am floored at what she did. I walked in to a convo she was having with my ex and the convo was about her thinking she wants to scrap the featival that i am helping her organize. My ex isnt. My ex is actually not helping for the featival at all. This was the first i heard my freinds thoughts about it. I became upset and i admittingly did over react and voiced my fustration at the communication. I could not believe it. And to be talking to my ex about it instead?! Im so hurt and confussed. Because i got upset, she now isnt reponding to me and wont talk to me about it....this has left me feeling so isolated now and i am acessing what i have done wrong. I have worked so hard for this frienship and have been available anytime for her and she does this. It may seem no big deal really but it has thrown my trust. By her doing that, i feel betrayed. As i said i over reacted which i havent done in years, i have now also been crying sinve it happened yeaterday morning and beginning self destructive behaviour. My trust in her is damaged and i no longer feel safe with her....it has really tiggered my PTSD ( from years of an family and partner abuse. ) ive been crying since it happened yesterday morning. I dont have any other good friends were I live as its a small community and thought i was building a new life for myself. I need advice and support to work this out. I am beside myself and starting to blame myself again. I am sick of being let down by people whom i spend time trying to build freindships with. Im now getting to the point of not trusting anyone. Does anyway have any insite and whether it ia right to persue trying to work it out. Thankyou for reading my story x

Kib Mother with cancer
  • replies: 7

I live with my mum and she suffers from cancer. I feel myself breaking under the pressure because I am the only one who can help. All responsibilities rest on me. My older sister in in university and she lives a couple of hours away, so I can't ask h... View more

I live with my mum and she suffers from cancer. I feel myself breaking under the pressure because I am the only one who can help. All responsibilities rest on me. My older sister in in university and she lives a couple of hours away, so I can't ask her for help. My father is no help at all. I haven't seen him in years. And other than some cousins and an aunty, my mum and I have no one else. I have had to go to hospitals with her, doctor appointments, others cities to get treatment. It's been hard. And did I mention that I'm in high school and have so much school work too. What I'm saying is that I want someone else to help me. My friends have forgotten my problems, not to mention they have their own and I can't see a specialist to help with my problems because then I'll have to tell my mum that I'm struggling. I have no one to confide in and I really want someone to confide in. But I don't and I can't. I know that I'm being selfish, my mum has bigger problems then me, but I feel crying, screaming and shouting all at the same time. I know I can't tell anyone, they'll think I'm weak, my family doesn't show weakness, we bottle up emotions and put on fake smiles while figuring out our problems my ourselves. That's how it's always been. Not really a question or anything, I just wanted to get everything off of my chest. Thanks for reading, I guess.