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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Xavius Outcast or nah?
  • replies: 3

Since my latest bout of depression and anxiety, I've had a tough time in my mind trying to handle friendships and family relationships. Everything just feels so superficial and I feel as if I'm a burden on everyone I meet. While I was still employed,... View more

Since my latest bout of depression and anxiety, I've had a tough time in my mind trying to handle friendships and family relationships. Everything just feels so superficial and I feel as if I'm a burden on everyone I meet. While I was still employed, I met a few guys which I got along with but the contact has ceased because of the social anxiety and panic I feel. I tried making contact with one person and we share a few texts every couple weeks. But I struggle to find the words while texting him and adds to the feeling of not having a true friendship. I feel the same way with my mother. I love her to bits but I can never hold a conversation with her. She may say something about someone else, but in my mind it feels as if the negative things she says are directed at me and my mind hits a total blank. She does ask how my mood is and she is very supportive of my condition, but I always tell her I'm fine or I'll be alright. While deep down I'm hoping something happens to me. I've never been close to any of my brothers, sisters, nieces or nephews. I feel like the outcast of the family and I'm honestly not sure how much longer I can deflect this hopeless feeling. Peace & love

PapaTez I feel my depression and anxiety overwhelms my own decision making
  • replies: 2

I used have an ice addiction before I became clean since then I've kept to myself and always feel like I want to be left alone even from my own children. Recently I felt emotionally upset when one of my youngest daughters who's 7 yrs old wanted to pl... View more

I used have an ice addiction before I became clean since then I've kept to myself and always feel like I want to be left alone even from my own children. Recently I felt emotionally upset when one of my youngest daughters who's 7 yrs old wanted to play I froze at that moment like if I didn't wanted to do anything, even when she started passing her dolls to me as if she tried to get my attention at that time to participate I have always played dolls and princess's with my baby girls even when my older girls were little I was always wanted involved. At that time when I felt I froze I started getting flashbacks about my own childhood I never had my parents around as my biological parents were and still are drug addicts to this day the things that I've endured I was neglected mainly from my mum, violently abuse especially from my biological father my older brother suffered the same as I was growing up I was what nearly all people call a loose cannon, feral, rebellious or delinquent I used to always get into trouble in school and with police and ending up juvenile institutions and detention, I remember I punch another kid in the face in school because he teased because I refused to make a mothers day card which the whole class was tasked with I remember he said "haha you got no mummy" and threw a rubber/eraser at me which some other kids started laughing at me so I retaliated and I got suspended when I went back 2 weeks later I found out the other kid never got detention as I found out through some classmates, because throwing things at other students in class was automatic detention I think of it now that's how my feelings towards authority while growing up began I don't know if that's how you put it but I started becoming belligerent at that time as years went by I went to drugs I fell in love and having children of my own with different partners which I don't want to go into details but I struggles to maintain my own relationships and I wanted and I needed to give my kids the unconditional love but I feel like my past I one of the reasons that makes me hesitate and don't wanna do anything I take antidepressants medication but sometimes I don't take them I feel like I sometimes want to lock myself up in a room or isolate myself from everyone but I have tried to fight it sometimes I break down and been thinking about making it up to my kids for the lost time I have been practicing in my head of what I'm going to do next time my kids want to spend time with me.

Matt1991 Don't know what to do with my life anymore
  • replies: 1

I hate to say this clearly because it affecting me really badly. I doubt anyone who have understanding perspective for a guy with Autism and hearing loss experiencing desolation, rejection and discrimination everyday in friendships and relationships ... View more

I hate to say this clearly because it affecting me really badly. I doubt anyone who have understanding perspective for a guy with Autism and hearing loss experiencing desolation, rejection and discrimination everyday in friendships and relationships environment. I am 27 years old virgin and I feel getting lost as I age more. All of my friends including wider networks have done their deeds as well many other sexual and relationship experiences. It makes me feel lost and disconnected as I struggle to get one women attention towards me. I am fairly active human being in community environment, business networks, sporting and fitness areas. I attend fitness bootcamp three times a week, running club Saturdays, attend several different Meetup.com events, running my own Landcare group, and even starting up a social enterprise business! I am very well academic person done Masters and research international trips. I have lot of achievements in my life such as scholarships, awards, keynote speakings and conference presentations. I have medals and trophies from sporting and community achievements. While this sounds like I don't focus on sex and love life since doing all the personal achievements and career. To be honest it bloody hard to be male autistic with hearing loss living in this normalised society. It so frustrating for me trying my best to connect and communicate with women but life after university it get harder and harder. Less friends come around and less available women. Despite being around with plenty of females in my community engagement, sports, attending events and everything. It have been for VERY LONG time. I don't go desperately ask someone out on date like out of a blue. I tried to make friends but what it make it so difficult is that I cant be normal like everyone else where they don't try to communicate with me. I am starting to hate this life of no fun. It makes me fear of missing out as I get older and older. It makes me turn off by women in their late 20s and into 30s who have done all the deed, experiences, skinny dipping and bit of everything while I have zero experience. It makes me feel out of touch and imbalanced. Im lost.

Callumm Estranged
  • replies: 1

Hey there everyone, so i havent seen or spoken to family in 7 years because of childhood abuse. Im now feeling lonley as im single, and making friends is hard for me, does anyone have suggestions that i could do to me stop feeling alone??

Hey there everyone, so i havent seen or spoken to family in 7 years because of childhood abuse. Im now feeling lonley as im single, and making friends is hard for me, does anyone have suggestions that i could do to me stop feeling alone??

Jadams57 Is it possible for him to change the way he reacts to situations?
  • replies: 4

My ex and I have broken up and gotten back together a few times and now we have been apart for about 3 months. I guess i realised recently that all of our problems were caused because of his depression and my misconceptions about how to help/what my ... View more

My ex and I have broken up and gotten back together a few times and now we have been apart for about 3 months. I guess i realised recently that all of our problems were caused because of his depression and my misconceptions about how to help/what my role should be as a significant other. Two of the three times we have broken up its because something got kind of blown out of proportion and he made a really bad decision. The most recent one being that I was speaking to him about something he had done that had upset me and he basically just spiraled and said that he thought we should break up because he felt like we were never going to get past a thing that had occurred in the past. I guess my major question is do you think people with depression can change the way they react to situations? I want to get back together with him but the way he reacts to issues within the relationship just leaves me feeling like he doesn't care about me and like I am nothing to him. He later regretted the decision he had made, but he had also never thought of breaking up with me before that moment and the way he just flipped and suddenly thought we should break up just made me feel so worthless. If he was able to handle situations better then I think it might be possible for us to try again. I don't know what to do. I want to be with him because the only thing I feel that is holding us apart is his depression but I also can't walk into something that is going to leave me feeling like that again.

Franklin88 Anxiety, baby and relationship breakdown
  • replies: 1

Hi there I am a long time sufferer of Generalised Anxiety and Depression. A year ago I started a relationship with a Canadian woman living in Australia on a student visa. We had some issues mostly relating to my anxiety and problems with alcohol but ... View more

Hi there I am a long time sufferer of Generalised Anxiety and Depression. A year ago I started a relationship with a Canadian woman living in Australia on a student visa. We had some issues mostly relating to my anxiety and problems with alcohol but we forged a strong and loving relationship. In January of this year we found out she was pregnant and we decided to keep the baby and either live in Australia together or Canada. This unknown caused me significant anxiety thinking she could return home whenever she chose with our unborn child and I would have few rights to see it. In time my constant worries pushed her away and she returned to Canada to finish her pregnancy and have the baby there allowing me time to work on my demons. The plan always was to sort things out and become a family. She has now been gone nearly a month and it has been very up and down. One minute she wants the world with me and then the next nothing. I gave her passwords to my social media accounts to ease the anxiety she had about what I was doing in her absence and a few nights ago she saw 2 girls appear in instagram that I had one night stands with in the past. I had looked them up for a reason relating to my anxiety and one of them potentially being pregnant but she is certain that I am cheating! I never have cheated and I never will. She has blocked me off all forms of social media, has told her family I cheated, will change her mobile number and said I will never see the child. I am innocent of what she is claiming but nothing I say can change her mind. She has done things like this previously and has calmed down later but this time feels different. This is putting my anxiety through the roof and I dont know what to do! Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Franklin

AllAlone81 we love each other, but I miserable in our marriag,
  • replies: 1

My husband has so much stress in his life... money, work issues, my unbearable mother who also causes me stress, and one of our children has special needs which does causes us stress; from worry and testing our limits with difficult behaviour etc. I ... View more

My husband has so much stress in his life... money, work issues, my unbearable mother who also causes me stress, and one of our children has special needs which does causes us stress; from worry and testing our limits with difficult behaviour etc. I deal with stress by talking it out, doing things for me but my husband, he bottles it in. He then explodes, treats me like crap, yells, swears (even at the kids), gets angry very quickly and often over unrealistic situations. Example gets angry over our 3 yo spilling food on floor... she is 3 and doesn't need to be yelled at, mistakes happen, but he is so quick to yell over everything. It is to the point that I've told him about his anger and how it is causing stress in myself and the kids. He says he will get help, but nothing happens. I'm miserable in my marriage. I love him but i feel so alone, scared, and helpless. I don't know how to help him and all I want to do is have the man I love back. I want my kids to not be in this situation, my son with special needs, needs patience and support and he must feel he is treading on egg shells around his dad. His life is difficult already and he is only 10. My 3 yo is showing emotional stress and has started to show sign through wetting her knickers etc. I dont believe it is due to a physical problem (muscle issue like pelvic floor etc) but im looking into it just in case. My confidence and self esteem is so shot at the moment, I'm even being paranoid that he doesn't love me. Yesterday was a first when he belittled me in front of a work mate of his. He humiliated me. I left crying and he hasn't apologised and probably won't. he never does when he hurts me. This issues at work makes him so passionate and obsessed about the going on with the stress and drama ( which is often discussed via FB,. He is continually on FB. Everytime I turn around, he is on his phone. Even at family times or even when he gets home from work and stays in his car, FBing before he gets inside. I say to him to drop FB and move away from work drama so he can focus on family and his anger issues, but he just cant help it, he is obsessed even though he agrees and sees it as an issue. Where do I go from here, what do I do? I'm also a mum of a young baby and so I'm feeling strung out and feel so alone.

Nic76nic No friends not close ones
  • replies: 2

Hi First time poster I feel as though I have no friends. I have a husband and 2 daughters who I love immensely but no close friends, dont feel like an really. I know lots of people not just online but I dont feel close to any of them. I am always anx... View more

Hi First time poster I feel as though I have no friends. I have a husband and 2 daughters who I love immensely but no close friends, dont feel like an really. I know lots of people not just online but I dont feel close to any of them. I am always anxious worrying about whether people like me. Always thinking no one does. Probably friendships dont work considering my own with my mother is non existent. sorry feel like Im talking out of my head.

BeaBeaE Partner problems! Confused about contradiction!
  • replies: 1

So it's my first time on here. I thought some of the things I read are similar to what I feel. I have never been that comfortable and good at an emotional relationship and I have a great partner we have been together for over 5 years and have a child... View more

So it's my first time on here. I thought some of the things I read are similar to what I feel. I have never been that comfortable and good at an emotional relationship and I have a great partner we have been together for over 5 years and have a child. We have been through a lot together, and the love is there! we have worked very hard at our relationship. But we still run into the same problems! It's been years and although we have managed to get passed a lot of issues, every time I think yep, we have cracked it something happens! Its hard to give examples, There is a lot of times that he suggests that I don't listen. Which is more than likely a fair comment! But it's not intentional, he mearly wants to talk when I am too tired, or he will say one thing one day and totally contradicts the very next day! So there is not much consistency in what he wants or feels! It's hard to keep up! I don't try to pass blame and I rarely have a go at him, however I can be, I guess non affectionate or at times annoyed at him ( but not feel like explaining why as I known it will be thrown back in my face) on the contrary to all I have said he is also a lovely bloke who loves me dearly I do know this!! But it can feel like I am in a relationship with 2 different guys! One who is amazing and the other very challenging and likes to pass blame. Saying things like " you can never do anything wrong" - and " this is why I can't talk to you" I find myself giving in most times, for peace! its so hard to explain because we actually have a pretty good relationship most of the time and these occasions are often but very short lived! Perhaps is pretty common and maybe I do the same to him. I can be pretty impulsive and at times unpredictable- yes moody but who isn't and also I just wonder ' alot' why it's ok for him to have mood swings but not me! I am really frustrated and wonder if anyone else has issues of a similar nature? I do not feel as though I want to leave him I am just frustrated and curious! any advise or understanding would be appreciated thanks

SaraJade My first time
  • replies: 4

My first time was great but now it feels like he doesn’t care about me at all. I didn’t want to regret it since losing my virginity was a really big deal for me. Now I’m feeling very lonely, isolated, unappreciated and I don’t know where to go from h... View more

My first time was great but now it feels like he doesn’t care about me at all. I didn’t want to regret it since losing my virginity was a really big deal for me. Now I’m feeling very lonely, isolated, unappreciated and I don’t know where to go from here.