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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Taurus93 Feel Stuck In Relationship
  • replies: 8

Hey all, I'm a 25 year old woman who has been suffering from depression on and off for 10 years. Last year I gave birth to my son, he is now 16 months and we live in a granny flat on my partner's parents property. I fell pregnant pretty quickly once ... View more

Hey all, I'm a 25 year old woman who has been suffering from depression on and off for 10 years. Last year I gave birth to my son, he is now 16 months and we live in a granny flat on my partner's parents property. I fell pregnant pretty quickly once me and my partner started dating. We both met online and played online games together. He didn't work and neither did I. I lived with my mum and he lived with his parents. Long story short we were both shut-ins basically. I wanted that to change once baby was born. But nothing has really changed, other than the fact that I moved 2 hours away from my family to live with him and our son. I thought he would at least get a job and stop playing video games so much. But he hasn't, he has also developed depression and started taking anti-depressants. He sometimes has mood swings where he will get really angry. I've done everything around the house, beside taking out the trash on my own the past 11 months. It was a struggle to get him to help me with the baby at first. He wouldn't offer to help. I had to ask him, and if he was playing a game I'd have to wait till he was done or found a save point... We had a lot of arguments over this. I just started asking, nagging him to help me. He does help now when I ask but I wish he'd just do it without me having to ask sometimes. We have argued about the house chores recently, since he doesn't work he should help too instead of playing games all day. He's not even looking for work. He's on centerlink payments and expects his job provider to find a job for him. I've told him I'm unhappy, recently I told him I'm falling out of love with him. That cut him deep I think, he said he loves me and doesn't want me to leave. I told him I have been thinking about leaving, about going back to live with my mum. He hugged me tight and started crying, saying please don't leave. I cried too, cause I don't like hurting him. I do love him as our child's father and I used to be in love with him. I feel dumb for saying I'll stay. As he's still just playing games all day and helps at times. I don't know if I should stay in this relationship or move on. I don't want to be with someone who just plays games all day everyday. I wanted us to be a family, not me being his maid and his mother... A psychologist I spoke to last week told me I had two options, leave or learn to live with it. I think he's right. What do you guys think? (posted in Depression thread first. Sorry for double posting.)

Angel_face my husband admitted he is gay after 18 years together
  • replies: 9

Hi, I’m new to this and I’m not sure how to start and if this is the right place to talk but In the last year and a half I had questioned my husband if he was gay after finding a few things, he always denied it to me for so long and said that he wasn... View more

Hi, I’m new to this and I’m not sure how to start and if this is the right place to talk but In the last year and a half I had questioned my husband if he was gay after finding a few things, he always denied it to me for so long and said that he wasn’t. Just recently, I had found something that basically caught him out. He still denied it going away with this person but in the end he admitted that he was gay and he always suppressed his feelings. After speaking to him and finding out everything he did and what he put me through mentally and physically I am finding it really hard to deal with. He told me that he felt like this before we got married which was around 12 years ago and we had 2 kids in that time. I have had so much anxiety, stress and feeling emotionaly depressed about what he has put me through. I thought I had a life ahead with him but knowing now that he’s gay and that he has moved in with this partner has killed me even more. I cannot cope day by day and I don’t know how I am going to move forward in my life! I feel so sad and I’ve got so many different emotions what I’m going through. I never expected after 18 years together he would turn around and say he’s gay. I am really struggling and I would like some advice and help how I can move past this?

Bloody_Confused Please help!
  • replies: 2

Hello, This year has been the worst year of my life. First a friend passed away in February; my mother passed away in March; my grandmother passed away in August and an Uncle passed away in November. I'm a married woman (12 years) with 2 boys 8 and 1... View more

Hello, This year has been the worst year of my life. First a friend passed away in February; my mother passed away in March; my grandmother passed away in August and an Uncle passed away in November. I'm a married woman (12 years) with 2 boys 8 and 10. Thought I was happy. In September I started chatting to an old school friend who's marriage has been in a terrible state for years. Long story short its escalated to a full affair. Chatting every day, meeting when we can. The dilemma I have is I'm not sure if it's because of the horrible year I've had that I'm just grabbing on to something that makes me feel by happy as I think of him constantly. He is consuming my whole day, every day. I'm so confused. Thank you for even just taking the time to read this.

Donny020572 Not sure
  • replies: 6

Im knowing what some of you might say not sure if i get it out right but here goes. Gf moved out about 4 months after 8yrs. Ok i messed up i keep getting dating sites to chat ONLY no plan to meet. Got found out everytime dumb me. The thing she didnt ... View more

Im knowing what some of you might say not sure if i get it out right but here goes. Gf moved out about 4 months after 8yrs. Ok i messed up i keep getting dating sites to chat ONLY no plan to meet. Got found out everytime dumb me. The thing she didnt like was i liked xdressing and growing breast. Not interested in guys but talk dirty to them. I havent had intercourse even with my ex in a long time. So now i stress every day cry every day and being xmas no help around this time. So i scared i will mess my next relationship up so it will be easier to be dead then i will be happy. So life is not great. No friend no life time see what happen. Thanks

Lost27 Am I over thinking or is something wrong.
  • replies: 1

Hello, Sorry this is a bit long I am just so upset, depressed and confused. So alot has happened in the last few months with my long term/long distance relationship. I have been with my bf for almost 3 years and have been back and fourth for college ... View more

Hello, Sorry this is a bit long I am just so upset, depressed and confused. So alot has happened in the last few months with my long term/long distance relationship. I have been with my bf for almost 3 years and have been back and fourth for college in the USA for about 16 months. But that hasn't been the problem. A few months ago he broke it off agile I was in the USA and lot went down with within myself. Anyway he came back to me saying he was wrong and he over reacted and alot off stuff. Even after everything he said and put me (me no longer wanting to be here) I forgave him. We where good but then he forgot my birthday and also forgot I was coming home. He was out and wouldn't reply to my messages and then he got mad at me becUse I was upset about those other few things. He then wouldn't talk to me or see me for about 4 days. We where better after we talked again and was slightly back to normal. He used to message and want to talk to me alot and want to see me. But he doesn't as much anymore. I know he is different now like we all are and we have been in a relationship for a while and things change. We got into a fight yesterday because I wanted to know if he still loved me and wanted to be with me and if he saw a future with me. A few days before that he said he did but yesterday he got so stressed and uptite Thatcher said he did love me but can no longer see the future with me. He said he use to see it in the next year or so that we would get ingaged but now doesn't. But we talked and he said after he calmed down and he does want that with me just isn't really thinking about it anymore so close. So yesterday was also the last day to see him before I leave for another few months and he didn't really get upset like he used to or hug me or walk me to the door and didn't really even say he loves me because he said its just normal now. He hasn't messaged me as well till 4pm even tho he said he would know the morning and he used to tell me goodmlrning. I just don't know. I love him o much I am just always feeling upset and down and used. All I am wondering is it normal for each other to talk less and not need to see eachbkther more. I could be over thinking and just stressing.

38yearold My wife told me she isn’t in love with me anymore
  • replies: 42

Hi all, So my wife told me 8 days ago she isn’t in love with me anymore. We have booked some immediate counselling sessions, but she is cold, uninterested and won’t let me in. We have a 5 year old boy. The consequences will be huge for him and financ... View more

Hi all, So my wife told me 8 days ago she isn’t in love with me anymore. We have booked some immediate counselling sessions, but she is cold, uninterested and won’t let me in. We have a 5 year old boy. The consequences will be huge for him and financially as well. I have been through so many emotions, fear, depression, anxiety and anger. Not sure what to do. Looking for some guidance and support from you the community. Many thanks in advance.

Dolpin73 Confused
  • replies: 1

Hey I am going through a lot of emotions right now. I have been married for 23 years, have 2 beautiful daughters and have just become a grandmother. The last year my relationship with my husband has become strained. He lost his job due to harassment ... View more

Hey I am going through a lot of emotions right now. I have been married for 23 years, have 2 beautiful daughters and have just become a grandmother. The last year my relationship with my husband has become strained. He lost his job due to harassment and bullying and was awarded unfair dismissal however he has increasingly become aggressive and has started gambling. I have to hide money from him because he will spend it. This has caused a lot of financial stress. I was recently looking for a picture I took on his phone and found pictures of my best friend daughter on there. She is only 16. They were not pornagraphic but they were selfies she had taken on her Facebook and she was revealing a lot. This really concerned me so I had a look on his iPad and found pornagraphic pictures of young girls that looked between 15 to 18. It was hard to say if they were overage but they all looked young. Our daughter is 15! So this has me worried. I feel so sick

Snozzcumbers Lied to my girlfriend and she'll never forgive me
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, When I (25) first started dating my GF (29) 3 years ago I lied to her and told her I was not a virgin, she told me she was. In retrospect I thought it made me strange, I was insecure about it and didn't want to to think I'm a wierdo and ... View more

Hi everyone, When I (25) first started dating my GF (29) 3 years ago I lied to her and told her I was not a virgin, she told me she was. In retrospect I thought it made me strange, I was insecure about it and didn't want to to think I'm a wierdo and I hurt he doing this which was selfish. After we both had sex for the first time I told her the truth, I was infact a virgin. The entire time before this it was seething through me that I had told her the lie, and I didn't know how to tell her the truth, so I just blurted it out after we had sex the first time. She was not immediately upset at the time, it was some time later that it came up that she was very upset over my lie. We talked it over at the time, we were both very emotional, and I promised her I would never lie to her again and I would do whatever it takes and wait as long as it took for her to trust me again. I've kept the promise for 3 years. Today it came up again that I had done this in the past and she told me she hasn't and thinks she never will forgive me for what I did. We had a conversation and the following points are what I understand to be her point of view: Cheating is as bad a lie as this is and she would break up with me if I had cheated. She says I'd break up with her if the tables were turned. (no way in hell I would) It has been 3 years and she still has not forgiven me and is angry about it, so she thinks she will never get over it. She thinks we only continue the relationship because it is convenient and easy. She is young so she could just replace me with someone else. I don't know how to go forward from here. I've never lied to her since and have tried my hardest to live my life according to what I think is virtuous. She still is hurt by what I did and thinks I'm replaceable, which hurts more than anything anyone has ever told me. What do I do? Have any of you had similar experiences?

Pandared My partner's ex wife is super uncooperative
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am 27 years old and from eastern asian country. I have a partner and he's got divorced a few years ago. He is from Europe and has lived here more than 10 years. He has 6 years old son from previous marriage and his ex wife is from same country ... View more

Hi, I am 27 years old and from eastern asian country. I have a partner and he's got divorced a few years ago. He is from Europe and has lived here more than 10 years. He has 6 years old son from previous marriage and his ex wife is from same country with me. They have been sharing the custody and it was nearly 50/50 and now my partner has been sending his son to school because his ex wife didn't try to organise school. And now she is on her vacation back in her country and not letting my partner know when she would come back and how she wants to organise during the school holiday. She used to take her son to her country with her for a few months without my partner's consent and after she came back, she insisted sending her son to private school which she doesn't want to participate for the school fee and as a result the poor boy missed his 3 semesters in prep. ( He managed to join the prep from last semester in public school.) His ex wife doesn't care about court order they have got when they went to court for divorce. She moved to far away suburb for the rent fee.(She is living with her so called male friend there.) She pretends to be a good mum for her son but she moved far away for her new partner or rent fee and isn't participating in his school life. She calls to her son every 2 days and asks what he had for breakfast, lunch and dinner and accuses my partner for each and everything. She doesn't even take care of her son and throws her son on my partner and nags about a to z. She hasn't worked for almost 8-9 years. She doesn't seem like she is willing to work still. When I met my partner I didn't expect that he would have had this crazy unorganised selfish ex wife. But we have been together almost 4 years and it is becoming too much for me. I want to spend time with my partner but he is so busy to take care of his son. We can not plan our future together or even the holiday. I feel like it is waste of my time if he needs to deal with this crazy person until his son becomes an adult. I am feeling my brain has been getting damaged and numb from the depression and stress. His ex wife has been staying overseas for nearly 2 months now and my partner has been asking her when she would come back for 2 months. Whenever he asks she answers she needs to see a specialist. But I know it just takes 20 mins to see a specialist in my country. She has been lying and deceptive to my partner and her own son. Thanks for reading and Plz give me some advice.

Bubbles78 Not Sure What to Do
  • replies: 5

My husband and I are not 40 and he is an alcoholic and has been dry for 7 years. This year has been incredibly hard, starting one week into the year with his Mum’s passing. Many other deaths have happened and we have had major family issues, particul... View more

My husband and I are not 40 and he is an alcoholic and has been dry for 7 years. This year has been incredibly hard, starting one week into the year with his Mum’s passing. Many other deaths have happened and we have had major family issues, particularly with our oldest daughter. He is heavily depressed but believes he is only stressed. He also gets controlling when he feels insecure so I don’t do much or see too many people. He now says that e is entitled to have some beers after work which actually scares my two daughters as well as myself. In the past there was quite severe domestic violence with alcohol usage and given his current state of mind we are very concerned for our safety. I feel bad and mean but I believe that our safety should come first. I am happy to go out for the night or for him to go out and drink but he refuses to have friends outside of work and only wants to drink at home. This is causing MAJOR conflict and is turning to his brother and sister for support, who also happen to alcoholics. What would you do in my shoes? Thanks in advance