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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Marty_J Partner wants me to move interstate with her...
  • replies: 4

Hello all, First time poster on this site so bare with me. I have a partner of close to only 12months. I love her alot but we have had a few issues recently. We broke up about a month ago but over the past few weeks we have managed to get back togeth... View more

Hello all, First time poster on this site so bare with me. I have a partner of close to only 12months. I love her alot but we have had a few issues recently. We broke up about a month ago but over the past few weeks we have managed to get back together and are working on things. When we broke up she said she was going to move to another city and have a fresh start on things in her life. She has had a few personal issues over the past 12months (nothing to do with me) that has made living where she currently does not the greatest for her. So we are now back together and she acknowledges that moving interstate is now going to be harder for her but she still wants to do it. Shes applied for jobs and flying up for an interview for one this week. She has said she wants me to come with her. I am so confused and torn by this. There is a ten year age difference between us with me being older. I've done the whole moving interstate thing before and have been back in my home city for 5 years. I was also very close to making a fairly big career move potentially going into business for myself. However I love this girl alot. Thats where Im torn. In her head she needs to make the move for her own mental health reasons and I would feel bad making her make a decision to stay. I guess where Im torn is the fact she broke up with me a month ago. Ytes we have gotten back together and we have clearly discussed the reasons why she broke up with me and it all makes sense. We are actually going to see a relationship counsellor tonight to discuss a few things. Moving to the new city doesnt scare me. I can see the exciting aspects to it but I have a large support network where i and it would be sad to leave that. Theres also the risk we could break up and then I've also missed out on potential career options had I stayed. So yeah very confused and just looking for other peoples opinions.

Nanaof4 Daughter In Law is Tearing Family Apart
  • replies: 5

Hello, I am hoping someone can help me, or at the very least, I can vent here. My family are going through a crisis due to my daughter in law (DIL) who is making our lives hell. About 2 months ago my son and his family came interstate to spend my bir... View more

Hello, I am hoping someone can help me, or at the very least, I can vent here. My family are going through a crisis due to my daughter in law (DIL) who is making our lives hell. About 2 months ago my son and his family came interstate to spend my birthday with me. My DIL was off towards us from the moment she arrived. We have always had difficulties with the DIL from the day she met my son. We have 2 grandchildren from them and she has often stopped us from seeing them when she feels we are not doing what she wants. This trip however, she was nasty from the time she arrived and by day 2 she was able to engage the whole family into a fight causing my 2 sons to actually fight. The fight was over money that was owed to my son, who lives with us, from her. She refused to pay it back and began screaming at us, scaring the kids and my dad who was here at the time. My husband tried to break the fight up between the sons as the DIL began to pack their items up to leave back to VIC right away. After everything had calmed down, we talked my son into staying as it was late and driving at night and very upset was dangerous. He agreed. They did however leave a few hours later as she demanded they leave. It is from here that things have gone heartbreakingly wrong. She did not say goodbye to us and swore to us as she got into the car that we would never see the grandkids again. We received a call a week later from my son saying that my DIL had put in a report that my husband had done something to the 3 year old grand daughter. We were told we were not allowed to talk to the grandkids until it was investigated. The case was closed 2 weeks later and the DIL was told that we could see and talk to the children and once again she has since made further serious claims. We are not sure what these claims are but we are told they are serious and we are once again not allowed to see the kids. My son has left her over this but he refuses to let us speak or see the kids as he does not want to upset her. We have asked him what these new allegations are and he said that she has blocked him from any information regarding this new case also. We have called a lawyer and any agencies we can. So far we are told there is no case but because she keeps making claims against us, they have to keep investigating them. We are heartbroken and so scared that we will never see them again. We are so scared of the lengths she will go to so we cannot see them, What can we do?

Netsua keep driving
  • replies: 2

Hi briefly, As background I am a mid 30's male of Australian background. I have a chronic health condition (type 1 Diabetes) and other ongoing yet to be diagnosed medical complaints but probably related (frustrated by no formal conclusive DX). I have... View more

Hi briefly, As background I am a mid 30's male of Australian background. I have a chronic health condition (type 1 Diabetes) and other ongoing yet to be diagnosed medical complaints but probably related (frustrated by no formal conclusive DX). I have been married for over 10 yrs and we have 2 kids. I am the sole bread winner in the family. My wife has developed high levels of anxiety and OCD to unhealthy levels where it is impacting the kids (sleep at 10-12 at night everynight and late to school). I help as much as possible whilst trying to live by the cleanliness rules in the house which are full on stressful and is costing me a fortune. She wore herself out so much she fell asleep standing up and almost cracked her head open. I feel guilty that I have let her and even helped her become this way. By helping so much I basically have to work 5 days within 3 and it has only been by good fortune and working nights that I have not been found out. In addition there has been no intimacy at all for the past 7 yrs+, she sleeps on the couch by her choice. There has been no infidelity or the like. I feel unappreciated and overwhelmed. Coupled with an isolated job. I am staying only because if I didn't what would happen to the kids? I would miss out on being there for them. However the verbal fights are not good for them to observe. She is getting help but so slow. My patience is thin and I according to the wife and not supporting her mentally. I am exhausted and do snap as the frustrations bubble over although am trying not too. Plus I throw in her face all the extra things I do which just makes her feel worse but feel like I have to justify why I am allowed to be frustrated. I have no idea how to get out of this situation. I need to see someone to help me work on strategy to cope but would find it somewhat difficult due to family history. That was not brief was it, not sure if I even asked a question? Thanks.

timesaretough My husband has prescription drug addiction and has been lying to me-what do i do
  • replies: 4

My husband of 8 years, partner of 18 years has had a bad run with illness. It started about 5 years ago and has been in and out of hospital with surgeries. Within this time, he has grown an addiction to opioids. I didn't actually know about the addic... View more

My husband of 8 years, partner of 18 years has had a bad run with illness. It started about 5 years ago and has been in and out of hospital with surgeries. Within this time, he has grown an addiction to opioids. I didn't actually know about the addiction at first, just felt like I wasn't getting any attention. I stupidly talked to my male boss about it which then lead to a brief affair. My husband was so broken from it and I wish I could take it back, to date it was my biggest regret. Since then, he has been on and off the drugs, at one point he was so high from mixing drugs that he was unable to hold a conversation and was sent home by his boss-he was very lucky to not get fired! We looked at treatment, but they wanted to put him on a methadone program-is that even normal?? He refused to speak to anyone and told me he was done with them. Just tonight I found out that he is still using them by Dr shopping, going t 2 different doctors to get them. I'm at the end of my rope. I have paid for what I've done, but seem to be still dealing with his issues and feeling like it will never end. He won't see anyone, so what do I do? Ultimatum?

baw21 Stepdad passed away now I feel lost
  • replies: 4

My stepdad passed away 6 weeks ago and Ive never been through heartache like this before. Neither has my mum. I feel so lost and my emotions are up and down. I don’t know if I should move back to my home town to my mum and leave behind a great job an... View more

My stepdad passed away 6 weeks ago and Ive never been through heartache like this before. Neither has my mum. I feel so lost and my emotions are up and down. I don’t know if I should move back to my home town to my mum and leave behind a great job and amazing city. I’m just not happy here where I am currently living now he has passed away. I just don’t know what to do.

msanders993 No friends, going on ten years
  • replies: 6

Sorry if this post is a bit long. I just feel intensely lonely and I’m sick of it. Usual story of I was massively bullied throughout high school. Changed schools to see if things would get better, they didn’t, if anything things got worse. That was w... View more

Sorry if this post is a bit long. I just feel intensely lonely and I’m sick of it. Usual story of I was massively bullied throughout high school. Changed schools to see if things would get better, they didn’t, if anything things got worse. That was when I was fifteen. I’m now 25, I live out of home, I have a great job, I am well-liked at work, I’m friendly and outgoing, I am an attractive young person. But things are still the same. The one friend I did have is now married, and I can just see she’s getting busier and busier (I don’t blame her) but I have no one else to fall back on. I didn’t see her much in the first place, I would just always make myself available when she was. How am I supposed to care about life when I have no one to share moments and memories with. Even if I do stuff for other people or in groups I am just that acquaintance, not someone to invite over because everyone already has their friends they’ve been friends with for years, so they don’t need anyone else. I just see that no one needs me in their life. I’m just a friendly face at work. That’s it. If I were to disappear no one would notice. No one would care. I’m not suicidal, as I still live in hope, but after ten years it’s hard to hold onto the belief that anyone will just pop up out of the blue, and I feel nothing I can do will change that.

MissM06 26, friendless and confused
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m new here so don’t really know how or where to start. I’m 26 female and have battled with anxiety on and off since a young age, and depression which surfaced a few years ago. Lately I have been feeling quite down and sad about my life. I h... View more

Hi all, I’m new here so don’t really know how or where to start. I’m 26 female and have battled with anxiety on and off since a young age, and depression which surfaced a few years ago. Lately I have been feeling quite down and sad about my life. I have a partner of 5 years but absolutely no friends and no one to talk to apart from my partner (this is something that really upsets me sometimes as much as I try to pretend it doesn’t), I work one day a fortnight (haven’t been able to find another job), I have my license but can’t afford a car so I don’t drive, spend most of my time at home, have no real hobbies, and feel like my days are just slipping away from me. I had friends in high school and we all just drifted apart. I went to uni but struggled quite a bit and ended up dropping out. I made one “friend” while I was there and as soon as I left they stopped talking to me. I just can’t seem to make real friends. On the occasion I go out somewhere and meet someone new, I will chat with them, add them on social media and try to get to know them, only to get nowhere. I feel like no one really wants to get to know me or be my friend. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong? On top of that I’ve been feeling my relationship with my partner has changed a lot. We haven’t had sex in 6 months. We still kiss and cuddle, laugh, have so much fun together. But the sexual side of the relationship isn’t there. I feel like it’s my fault because I don’t want to have sex. And I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to have sex with my partner, or because I don’t want to have sex in general. My partner is so great and supportive, but the whole sexless dynamic makes me question whether it’s run its course and we’re now more best friends than partners, or whether my depression and what I’m feeling could be the culprit. It constantly has me confused about what to do. I’m friendless, confused in my relationship, feeling so alone and like I’ve accomplished nothing in life. The way I feel about my life is not how I want it to be. Where do I start?

Samb1987 Family financial parenting life
  • replies: 1

Well i have just had throat surgery and to wake up to find out i have to pay $5526 back in child support as my daughter went to live with my mum i was still buying recharges clothes having her at least every second weekend paying her school bills uni... View more

Well i have just had throat surgery and to wake up to find out i have to pay $5526 back in child support as my daughter went to live with my mum i was still buying recharges clothes having her at least every second weekend paying her school bills uniform etc and giving her 100 a month we are going through such a hard financial time with me having time off due to possible thyroid cancer my 2 year old and 5 year old having alot of behaviour and sensory issues to now my eldest self-harming needing mental health assessments and the list goes on can i argue this i cant afford whats ahead with all these extra bills ive already been down since my marrige is failing and work refurbing so may not have a job

Riptide Being open with each other..
  • replies: 1

Hey I'm just looking for some advice. I've been dating this guy for a couple months, he struggles with depression and feelings of low self worth. I can understand where he is coming from as I also experience similar problems. Just two issues I've not... View more

Hey I'm just looking for some advice. I've been dating this guy for a couple months, he struggles with depression and feelings of low self worth. I can understand where he is coming from as I also experience similar problems. Just two issues I've noticed lately. He usually shares how he feels and talks to me about where his head is at but recently he has started saying that it doesn't matter and just closing up. I let him know I am here for him and that it does matter but it doesn't help. I'm not sure if he's started doing this because of other reasons or because I usually close up when talking about my thoughts and feelings.. I've always had trouble opening up and sharing my thoughts and feelings about things with people and I am still having that trouble with him. Not as much though, I think I'm more open with him than anyone else in my life but I'm still not open enough. Part of it is that I don't want to put my problems onto him as he already has so much going on. And the other part is.. I don't really know? I know I need to be more open and I want to be but I just can't seem to let myself? I want us to work out and I think my inability to be open is just going to ruin things. I can see that he's getting more and more frustrated when I just close up and push him away. I can understand why he feels that way but I'm just struggling to let him in. I guess I'm just looking for advice on supporting him more? And advice for myself - how can I become more open?

Indelibleredemption BF is going through depression and has completely cut me out.
  • replies: 5

First time poster, long time reader. I have been with my bf for 7 months, we met and fell hard and fast and things were amazing for 6 months. He had mentioned his past battles with depression, and I have seen his anxiety attacks happen through out ou... View more

First time poster, long time reader. I have been with my bf for 7 months, we met and fell hard and fast and things were amazing for 6 months. He had mentioned his past battles with depression, and I have seen his anxiety attacks happen through out our relationship, but i was always able to help him and he wanted me around at those times. This is different now. It's been about 4 weeks of our relationship not being okay, and now that I look back, I feel so horrible for taking it so personally and being so selfish thinking that he was pulling away on purpose and didn't care about me anymore and I forced us to have conversations that may have resulted in what is happening now. He has now said he needs space and that he doesn't want me contacting him. I'm worried. He said he hasn't left his house all week and doesn't want to talk to anybody. So I've been trying to just get 1 response a day from him so I know he's okay. But I'm struggling with keeping my cool and finding the balance between being there for him and giving him space. Will he come back to me if I stop messaging or calling ? We haven't had one conversation since.