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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Mickie_dee Alone
  • replies: 1

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in cro... View more

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in crowd. Had partners but never good enough for them to want to marry me, gave up my self for them. Became a people pleaser only to be walked all over constantly by people. My family have treated me with little respect so I have stopped communication with them for almost an year. The name calling, constant drama, told I shouldn’t do this or do that. Over it. I have peace now but am alone. Have no one. Feel like if I died tommorrow no one would care or notice. Really have no friends anymore.

Unknown1 My husband has just come out as Bisexual
  • replies: 5

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 4 years and we have 1 child together. He has just told me that he thinks he is bisexual. My reaction was not the most supportive which I'm ashamed about. He tells me that he has no intention of lea... View more

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 4 years and we have 1 child together. He has just told me that he thinks he is bisexual. My reaction was not the most supportive which I'm ashamed about. He tells me that he has no intention of leaving me and loves me. He has never been with a man. I do not want an open marriage. I have told him we should separate until he figures out what he wants. He does not want this. I am so confused...I know he would want to do right by our family but I don't want someone that stays with me out of obligation and is inherently unhappy with themselves or decides in 5 years time that he doesn't want to be with me. I have also read a lot of forums that sometimes bisexuality can be a stepping stone to gay (although I know this is not always the case). Obviously a lot of questions that I need to discuss with my husband but I have no one I can talk to and was hoping to get some support from others going through this (bisexual men or wives of bisexual men). Thank you

Baileysmells Dating in your 20's sucks, how can an introvert meet someone without dating apps?
  • replies: 2

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to mov... View more

A few years ago, my social life was great. I was getting consistent dates, still had a small but close network of mates and I had no insecurities about this part of my life. Fast forward to now however, its a shell of what it used to be. I had to move away from the Gold Coast in 2021, leaving behind a great relationship in the process and now live in a much smaller place comparatively. This made me fall into a deep depression and I subsequently fell out of touch of all my friends. To put a cherry on top of everything, my matches on dating apps have completely died out and the dates I do go on don't turn into anything and usually lead to me getting ghosted. This is sending me into a spiral not knowing what is going wrong. Be it the location/culture, my medication changing me as a person or my mental health getting in the way- now that I think of it I do seek out a certain type in emo girls, could be a factor lmao. I'm honestly about done with dating apps but what is a hardcore introvert like myself supposed to do to meet people irl? Do you have any tips for navigating dating in your 20's and dealing with being ghosted every month? I just want a serious relationship. This is a much smaller place compared to where I used to live and not a whole lot is going on, I don't have my P's and its so car dependent as well. I'm stumped. This loneliness is really starting to get to me. I realized recently that connection is really the only thing I value in life, I used to love being alone but since I've started dating I feel empty without it. Any advice or words are appreciated thanks for taking the time to hear me out

lr0054 boyfriend doesn't express emotions
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I are living together. Have done so for almost 4 years. He is a doctor. I've always looked up to him. However, he is quite reserved and feels that he cannot share his difficulties with anyone, particularly with expressing his emotion... View more

My boyfriend and I are living together. Have done so for almost 4 years. He is a doctor. I've always looked up to him. However, he is quite reserved and feels that he cannot share his difficulties with anyone, particularly with expressing his emotions and be honest. He states he is fearful of what other people think of him i.e. like he is boring. He recogniseses this is something he has struggled with for a long time and wants to change. I honsetly think this is a load of rubbish and he is interesting and fun despite telling him that he struggles to beleive this. The problem for me is that I am still living with him and feel like with this attitude, he doesn't add much value to my life- doesn't make me exicted etc. We are very different because I am very outgoing and feel confident in who I am and love to share my experiences. I have stayed with him because I thought he would change and become more open. I feel mixed feelings about continuing the relationship as I feel like he is getting more from the relationship than I am. I feel like he doesn't really have a bubbly, fun and enjoyable personality that I have and want with someone. I am on the lease with him and not sure how I can break up as I have thought about this a lot over the years. Any support would be appreciated.

bagelsbee Stuck in a bad relationship but not ready to leave
  • replies: 6

I feel like I’ve been spiralling lately. My relationship with my partner has had highs and lows, and this time last year I was seeing a psych about it. She suggested I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think she was right, but I’m stil... View more

I feel like I’ve been spiralling lately. My relationship with my partner has had highs and lows, and this time last year I was seeing a psych about it. She suggested I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think she was right, but I’m still in it. He keeps calling me crazy after I’ve told him how it hurts me. And he doesn’t seem to consider my feelings in his actions. Somehow when he does something hurtful I end up at fault and apologising. But I can’t bring myself to leave him. I cry every day. I just want to get back to who I was before him. I feel like I can’t talk to my friends about any of this because I don’t want them to think less of me. I just feel so tired and alone and angry and hurt.

astridmoon My family don’t talk to each other
  • replies: 3

My Mum bought my stepdads ashes home and did not tell me. I got upset as not telling me important things had been a regular occurrence I’ve raised in the past. Since getting upset about the ashes she has refused to speak to me. She didn’t apologize. ... View more

My Mum bought my stepdads ashes home and did not tell me. I got upset as not telling me important things had been a regular occurrence I’ve raised in the past. Since getting upset about the ashes she has refused to speak to me. She didn’t apologize. I sent gifts as I was traveling overseas and got no thank you. This was also shortly after I got engaged. My twin brother who is close with my Mum said he is jealous of my engagement, even tho he has just bought a house and been with his gf for years. Maybe my mother is too? It has been months since anyone has talked to me so I moved back overseas away from my family as I only moved back initially to be close to them. My family do not know as they have not reached out. I have been on my own with only my fiancé. I also recently found out my grandfather passed away in August. He remarried and his family refused to let him stay in contact with us. They also did not tell his first family.I feel sad that I was born into a family that treat each other this way. What is the point of having a family if this is how lonely it feels.

CMF Lonely nights
  • replies: 27

Hi there,Anyone in a relationship but still feel lonely? I love time to myself but I find my self struggling lately when my partner goes home Sunday arvo & I'm sitting here on my own. I'm on my own every night when my little miss goes to bed. My part... View more

Hi there,Anyone in a relationship but still feel lonely? I love time to myself but I find my self struggling lately when my partner goes home Sunday arvo & I'm sitting here on my own. I'm on my own every night when my little miss goes to bed. My partner calls, we chat & that's fine but Sunday nights are getting hard. Maybe cos it's school holidays & little miss is at her dads? I look forward to going to work Monday so I can forget about it. The weekday routine is tiring but good. Maybe I'm not enjoying my weekends with my partner so I feel lonely in general & when he's gone it's amplified.Anyone feel the same?Cmf

CMF Lonely Hearts Club. Do we miss the person or the relationship?
  • replies: 83

So I've been wandering around the forums and reading people's threads hoping I can be of some use to someone. I've noticed I've been gravitating to threads regarding relationships and breakups and they sound quite similar and the same as my own exper... View more

So I've been wandering around the forums and reading people's threads hoping I can be of some use to someone. I've noticed I've been gravitating to threads regarding relationships and breakups and they sound quite similar and the same as my own experience. Our hearts are broken by people who: no longer want to be with us; cheat on us; stay with us but don't treat us right; That's just to mention a few. There are many reasons why relationships don't work and its always hard on the person trying to keep it together. So if someone cheats on us, treats us badly, lies to us, isn't around when we really need them, why are we so heartbroken when they leave us or why can't we leave them when we are clearly unhappy with the situation? Why do our hearts hurt so much even though it's been broken? Why do we want to stay with the person who broke it? Do we miss the person or miss the relationship or the idea of the person? I can't stand my ex most of the time, he has good traits but at times is rude, irritating, careless, selfish, treated me very badly but still I find myself feeling sad sometimes when I think of the good times but I remind myself that i'm not sure if that was the real him. I question this because he treats him mum the same way and yet she does everything for him. Yes she is annoying and overbearing but how do you treat your own mother like that when she does as much as she does for you? I used to love his laugh, the late night calls, that he made me feel like a teenager again. Now I find his laugh annoying, he's laughing at my expense, I find him irresponsible and childish. Yet I feel sad. I don't miss HIM. I miss the company, the fun, having someone to do things with. I feel lonely. None of this is a new revelation. You can google the topic and read up on it. In time we may start to enjoy being on our own again, being our own person, not being put down or treated badly. We realise we have the chance to meet someone else, someone who really wants us and treats us great, our soul mate. So why do we feel lonely and miss a person who mistreated us, or cheated on us? Why do we fight hard to be with someone who doesn't want us? Why is it so hard to move on? cmf

han111 How to overcome a fear of intimacy?
  • replies: 1

I’m 20F, and I’ve never been in a relationship before, almost solely because I have such an intense fear of physical intimacy. In my head, I think it’d be nice to have a partner and I occasionally like people (maybe twice ever), but whenever it becom... View more

I’m 20F, and I’ve never been in a relationship before, almost solely because I have such an intense fear of physical intimacy. In my head, I think it’d be nice to have a partner and I occasionally like people (maybe twice ever), but whenever it becomes anywhere close to a reality I panic and back out and often cut off the person involved. I’ve been asked out, or any basic act of intimacy suggested, and I completely panic and find any possible way out of the situation every time. I do have diagnosed anxiety, which could be related, but it seems so much deeper than that, and it’s really just related to the physicality aspect more than anything else. I thought it might just be because I’ve had very little experience, but I’ve asked a lot of friends and they all said they weren’t scared before their first times, they were thrilled. I don’t understand why I’m like this, and it’s ruining not only the potential for romantic relationships but it gets in the way of platonic relationships too. I hate that I’d be happy to live alone, even if I’d be cripplingly lonely, and I don’t understand where it comes from. I wasn’t abused as a child, I’ve not had any toxic partners. I struggled to put how it feels into words, but I hope someone can understand and could help me be more normal about it all.

Cottonsocks Past relationship patterns?
  • replies: 1

I have had a failed past relationship of 17years whom I had 2 children with.It was and is still a very bitter break up. Both children have been turned against me by their father so that is hurtful. My relationship now is with a man who tries hard but... View more

I have had a failed past relationship of 17years whom I had 2 children with.It was and is still a very bitter break up. Both children have been turned against me by their father so that is hurtful. My relationship now is with a man who tries hard but doesn't know how to give emotional support or pick up emotional cues. I have to spell everything out and am beginning to resent that I just can't be me. He is very different to me and although when we are good we are great but when we fight I feel resentment build and I have had enough of compromise. I know relationships are hard work and I do compromise yet I am so aware of past patterns occuring that I get angry and resent my partner and look at all the negatives. My past partnership was full of resentment . I was always under pressure to have everything just right in every aspect of my life. I did everything around the house, raised the kids,worked and studied. I was never valued or appreciated and never an equal or a partner.How do I stop these feelings of pressure and resentment creeping in when I don't feel my present partner is consciously trying to put pressure on me. When we fight I just get so scared of another failed relationship that I push back due to fear,anxiety and resentment and I don't know how to change the way I react. Sometimes I feel life would be easier on my own.