Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Qlder Having a longterm affair
  • replies: 3

Hi I have been married over 18 years, but have been having a longterm affair with another woman for over 4 years. We have fallen in love. I still care for my wife and adult son. I am confused, I know I don't want to hurt them, but i dont want to end ... View more

Hi I have been married over 18 years, but have been having a longterm affair with another woman for over 4 years. We have fallen in love. I still care for my wife and adult son. I am confused, I know I don't want to hurt them, but i dont want to end the affair. My affair partner is going through a life threatening illness. Has anyone been through this? How did it all end?

Guest_15286629 Help
  • replies: 1

Husband is heavy drinker and l can see him getting dementia as he keeps asking the same questions in a short time frame. He does not remember the next day. He knows how upset it makes me and how it is ruining our marriage but he is determined not to ... View more

Husband is heavy drinker and l can see him getting dementia as he keeps asking the same questions in a short time frame. He does not remember the next day. He knows how upset it makes me and how it is ruining our marriage but he is determined not to give up. When he doesn’t drink he is a nice but fairly miserable bloke. He has a broken damaged soul so just doesn’t care but it is tough on me. What can l do?

Guest_236 How to deal with anxiety around loyalty?
  • replies: 1

Hi there! It's been a long time since I've been on BBForums, and so much has changed; I hope everyone is doing well Context: I met my boyfriend in Asia where I was on a semester exchange and he is U.S military working there on a 3-year contract. When... View more

Hi there! It's been a long time since I've been on BBForums, and so much has changed; I hope everyone is doing well Context: I met my boyfriend in Asia where I was on a semester exchange and he is U.S military working there on a 3-year contract. When we met, we only had a month until I had to go back to Australia. We both fell very hard and fast, and while we initially intended to just enjoy the month we had, we couldn't seem to say goodbye, so after some serious consideration, we agreed to try long distance. So far so good! We've visited each other multiple times, he's met my family and I'll meet his in December. We text and call every day, do online date nights and check-ins, send each other letters and gifts, etc. However, I've recently been feeling anxiety about loyalty. Mainly because:1) It seems like everyone in the military cheat on their significant others, a stereotype he has confirmed. 2) Before me, he's had many casual/brief partners, which does not turn me off of HIM, but it does make me anxious that I won't be able to satisfy him or live up to his past experiences, especially from so far away. 3) He's very conventionally attractive, which makes me anxious about other's intentions and if he'd give in. This wasn't the case with my last relationship. I'm very aware that I have no reason to be anxious, he's proven to be nothing but unconditionally loving and loyal, and vehemently against cheating (he has the same anxieties about me, but he's always struggled with this in previous relationships). My point is that I've never experienced such feelings of anxiety, protectiveness and jealousy before; these feelings are so very new to me, I don't know what to do with them other than ignore or intellectualise them or seek his affirmation, which doesn't put the worries to rest forever. But I refuse to let my insecurities hold him back or drive him away. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? Maybe all I can do is manage them until they ease with time and trust...

S__ He has gone to jail
  • replies: 2

Hi after a very long 15 months he has gone to jail. It's been 2 weeks and I have good and bad days. When I was feeling good and thought I could do this the bank has said they are closing our account. Is this because he is in jail?

Hi after a very long 15 months he has gone to jail. It's been 2 weeks and I have good and bad days. When I was feeling good and thought I could do this the bank has said they are closing our account. Is this because he is in jail?

AndyL Starting Over…
  • replies: 1

So my mental health journey has hit a massive roadblock in the past 6 months, in short; my mother is now in an aged care dementia ward and will never get well, I lost my job and my wife of 23 years has split with me (although we are sharing the house... View more

So my mental health journey has hit a massive roadblock in the past 6 months, in short; my mother is now in an aged care dementia ward and will never get well, I lost my job and my wife of 23 years has split with me (although we are sharing the house with our kids amicably for now), and I recently had a breakdown where I checked myself into a private hospital for fear of suicidal tendencies.I am at a loss with what to do. I struggling to find work that will be both enjoyable, financially supportive and allow me to continue to be the best dad I can be. I am scared that I will fall into darkness again very soon.

Gj1 Ex Jehovah’s Witness ?
  • replies: 83

Hey guys my first post here To start off with I want to say that I was born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and left the faith when I was able to move and support myself. Leaving and coming out to normal society has been pretty tough tho. I just fe... View more

Hey guys my first post here To start off with I want to say that I was born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and left the faith when I was able to move and support myself. Leaving and coming out to normal society has been pretty tough tho. I just feel like there’s a really distinctive loneliness of being an ex Witness that a lot of people won’t ever understand. I’m wondering if there are any ex Jehovah’s Witnesses on these forums that have been able to sort of overcome those feelings and find happiness outside the organization. Could really use some good stories that it does get better because at the moment it feels like I’m seeing the world from behind glass

bkgs1202 Boyfriend with OCD pushing me away
  • replies: 5

I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years now, in the most beautiful, healthy, loving, supportive relationship. He suffers from OCD and about 2 months ago he stopped taking his meds and wasn’t seeing his... View more

I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years now, in the most beautiful, healthy, loving, supportive relationship. He suffers from OCD and about 2 months ago he stopped taking his meds and wasn’t seeing his therapist. He was pushing me away, saying we weren’t together anymore, but still messaging me and calling and wanting to be around me all the time and be intimate. When he was pushing me away, everything he was saying was textbook relationship OCD and harm OCD, scared of hurting me, how does he know I’m the one, etc. We spent 3 days no contact and he broke it to tell me what a huge mistake he had made and how much he loves me and sees our future together and wants to be with me. Then a few days later he said we were moving too fast again and he didn’t want to lose me but didn’t want to be in a committed relationship. That night he spiralled again and was quite manic and had some extremely dark thoughts. I didn’t know what to do so i called his parents and had to leave him as I felt me being there was making the situation worse and he kept saying he loves me and want to be with me but needs a 2 week break (common theme he had continued to bring up throughout). We didn’t speak for two weeks until he called and had seen his therapist. I thought it was all okay between us and we would just need time to take it slow to get back to where we were but now he’s saying he thought i broke up with him when i left two weeks ago, he’s been telling people we aren’t together anymore, and he needs to be alone to work on his mental health and he can’t be dating right now to work on himself. He started taking his meds again and now it’s been 6 weeks, but he was only just able to have an appointment with his therapist due to availability. I don’t know what to do. I want to be with him more than anything, and i would do anything to make it work. The same night he’s telling me he needs to be alone, he’s also acting somewhat normal with me, being romantic and talking about the future using “we” and “us” terms, but saying he can’t give me certainty that he’ll ever be able to be together but if he could click his fingers and flick a switch to be then he would. What do i do? I’m feeling so lost and confused and just heartbroken and awful.

JayCee28 Sons invasion of privacy by his father
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Long story but I’ll try get it relevant to date Ex H alcoholic and abusive to me. coercive/ emotional abuse to son Currently no access to teen child ( his father) aside from supervised visits in contact centre, no visits to date. son does not... View more

Hi all, Long story but I’ll try get it relevant to date Ex H alcoholic and abusive to me. coercive/ emotional abuse to son Currently no access to teen child ( his father) aside from supervised visits in contact centre, no visits to date. son does not want to see his father at all. Son is slowly expressing things he didn’t like while being “taken care of” by his father while I worked late shifts. child is saying he gets predatory feelings from his dad. This has all come about this morning I really am beginning to worry child’s father has been more than inappropriate with son while I wasn’t at home. Child has expressed he is uncomfortable telling the contact centre why he doesn’t want to see his dad. I have offered child that we can write down his feelings tonight and he can hand it to the support person at the contact centre and maybe they can discuss it and child’s feelings. My gut says there’s more to the child/ father relationship that was has come out, but I don’t want to push child for answers. I guess I’m after advice Thankyou

Scorp_77 Marraige Breakdown after 30 years together
  • replies: 1

Hi,I recently separated from my husband, 30 years together, 2 children, high school sweet hearts, I am heart broken.I do not even know where to start my healing process, I am sad, I am lonely.

Hi,I recently separated from my husband, 30 years together, 2 children, high school sweet hearts, I am heart broken.I do not even know where to start my healing process, I am sad, I am lonely.