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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Abbie121 How to detach from/stop thinking about someone
  • replies: 2

I've developed strong feelings for a friend/work colleague but they are unavailable - we have a good friendship and are close but I can't help being preoccupied with thinking of them all the time and fantasising about what could be in a different sit... View more

I've developed strong feelings for a friend/work colleague but they are unavailable - we have a good friendship and are close but I can't help being preoccupied with thinking of them all the time and fantasising about what could be in a different situation. I'm an overthinker and can attach to people easily, but it's debilitating for me to be thinking about them this much when I know it can never go anywhere. Would really appreciate any tips for how to detach from someone in a situation like this and how to reduce my intense feelings towards them.

4818 Feeling lost and confused
  • replies: 1

I’m in a de facto relationship of nearly 2 years. She’s the light of my life but I know she doesn’t see me that way. I’m constantly being accused of cheating, watching porn, self pleasure, being an alcoholic (5 drinks per week). I’m no longer on Face... View more

I’m in a de facto relationship of nearly 2 years. She’s the light of my life but I know she doesn’t see me that way. I’m constantly being accused of cheating, watching porn, self pleasure, being an alcoholic (5 drinks per week). I’m no longer on Facebook, WhatsApp, messenger. I only communicate with my mum. My partner receives my phone bills so see can check them. I work in health care so I’m constantly accused of sleeping with colleagues, even my own gp. I have cameras inside of the house so she can monitor me at home when she’s at work. I’ve lost contact with all my mates. She’s now leaving me and going back home, 3000km away. I’m at a loss, I’m 54, I’ve got nowhere to go, I’m too old for a new mortgage. I’m at work now, but I know I’m not functioning correctly.

Lyssaa Relationship Difficulties
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly six months. We're both nineteen, full-time uni students doing pretty full-on degrees, and on top of that we both work casual/part-time jobs. Things are pretty good between us, we hardly ar... View more

Hi everyone, My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly six months. We're both nineteen, full-time uni students doing pretty full-on degrees, and on top of that we both work casual/part-time jobs. Things are pretty good between us, we hardly argue and the time we spend together is relaxing and enjoyable, but there are a few things about our relationship which bother me slightly that are out of control. Him and I live an hour drive apart with no traffic, on top of us both being busy, so as a result we don't see each other as often as we'd both like. We see each other at uni on Thursdays and Fridays, and on Wednesdays he drives down to spend 6-7 hours with me at my house. However, he has strict parents, which means he can't sleepover at mine, and I can't stay the night at his. I've met his parents once, and they both like me, but whenever he comes over to mine he has to change his location on his phone, because he knows they'll be like "oh, why are you always at her house, you'll bother her family" and if he tells them that my family isn't home, they'll be like "oh... why are you over then?" (strict Christian parents). It sucks because I see my friends with their boyfriends nearly every day because they live so much closer together, and they're involved in each other's families. On top of all that, he'll probably have to do FIFO work or work elsewhere at some point in the future because he's studying mechanical engineering and is looking into internships. I love him, I really do, but it's hard sometimes because we're both so busy, and there's the distance plus his parents on top of that. Does anyone in a similar situation have any advice as to how they manage to navigate this and how they keep themselves sane??

Alel Athiest living in religious household
  • replies: 5

I lost my religion around last year and my family don't know. I live in a dysfunctional household and have a really odd relationship with them. My parents were physically abusive when I was younger but stopped around 13. My dad is like a ticking time... View more

I lost my religion around last year and my family don't know. I live in a dysfunctional household and have a really odd relationship with them. My parents were physically abusive when I was younger but stopped around 13. My dad is like a ticking time bomb with his anger and is constantly yelling. My mum can be emotionally manipulative. Both are verbally abusive to eachother and my siblings mostly. I don't know why they don't come at me as much as my siblings, but I do feel shitty about it, so I try to fight for them as much as I can. My older sister is controlling, but for the most part she's nice. My older bother is misogynistic, homophobic, and abusive at times, but my whole family knows it's due to him dealing with alot (especially since my dad never leaves him alone). I do admit that there were times where I fought (not physically) against him because I just hated how shitty he is. But for the most part, he leaves me alone and I leave him alone, but I try to fight for him against my parents if I can. My younger brother is sometimes just mean (but then again his 17 so) and likes to take people's things or hit them with pillows whenever we joke. It's not that much of a big deal until he keeps doing it over and over when we have basic conversation. But for the most part, his fun and helps my mum around. When I was younger, I was just always angry and at times threw things. I stopped and don't like to get physical now, but I still have a long way to go with accepting my past. I don't want to be too distant from them, but I do want to have some distance so that I can have my own life. I feel like I'm lying to them when they ask me why I can't pray. Right now they know I'm dealing with severe anxiety and depression, so they are laying off, but they keep bringing up prayer, saying it helps to talk to God. I spent around 2 years in the past going real hard about religion and yet, I was still depressed and anxious. And I know God isn't meant to fix that, but I just realised after some research and time, I just can't find a connection. It is hard to live without believing in something (that's how my anxiety and depression got severe) and I don't know what to do. Should I go back and just pretend?

S_A_B My wife wants a break
  • replies: 3

I have been with my wife for 24yrs. She was 16 and myself 19. We have now been married for nearly 14yrs. We have 3 gorgeous children and a beautiful home. She is the love of my life. I still look at her like I first did. Somewhere over the journey we... View more

I have been with my wife for 24yrs. She was 16 and myself 19. We have now been married for nearly 14yrs. We have 3 gorgeous children and a beautiful home. She is the love of my life. I still look at her like I first did. Somewhere over the journey we have had up’s and downs more so in the last 5 years. Add a few other events for my wife and she has developed depression like symptoms. She is seeking help which is great and we are talking fine, but she wants a break because she is so unhappy. She needs to work on herself before she can figure out if she wants our marriage or not. She isn’t wanting a divorce, but we are going to separate and I don’t know for how long. It hurts so much because I adore her. I need to make some changes to show her I am still the man she needs and I want to be. Stressful busy lives can interfere with showing your wife how much she means to you. I feel I’ve left it too late? I don’t know how to help or how I can win my wife back?

Chillwind Property settlement for a 6 year marriage
  • replies: 3

I was in a 6 and a bit year marriage, we had no kids, she made no contributions to the marriage, I never had any joint bank accounts or assetts with her, I supported her adult daughter through University.In 2018 I decided to take money from my super ... View more

I was in a 6 and a bit year marriage, we had no kids, she made no contributions to the marriage, I never had any joint bank accounts or assetts with her, I supported her adult daughter through University.In 2018 I decided to take money from my super and buy an apartment to use as a rental, I was going to put the apartment into a Trust company, The wife found out and went to the family court had my accounts frozen ex-parte, At the hearing the magistrate said I could still buy the apartment in my own name and the ex-wife and her adult daughter could move in there. The court said the decision for her to pay rent would be made at the next hearing but no decision was made. now 5 years later I am informed that a trial date for next April has been set, These last few weeks have been very difficult for me, the anger is building up I worry I will lose control.

new2this I want to see my son
  • replies: 5

I have an estranged 17 year old. His father is extremely wealthy. 4 years ago my 13yr old & I had an argument. I said no I couldn’t drive him to his girlfriend house. We live rural & no public transport. He called his dad & he picked him up that day.... View more

I have an estranged 17 year old. His father is extremely wealthy. 4 years ago my 13yr old & I had an argument. I said no I couldn’t drive him to his girlfriend house. We live rural & no public transport. He called his dad & he picked him up that day. I had been in a head on car accident & had PTSD. Obviously I was difficult to live with. Last year I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. My son still doesn’t want to see me. I’m frightened I will die & not see my son. This WILL affect him for the rest of his life. I constantly cry but I am always jovial in front of others. My heart is broken, smashed to prices. I want my son to have a good life. I’ve failed at everything. Help please

Loveanimals 20 Year Old Son Addicted to Marijuana and Ruining My Life
  • replies: 2

My son is addicted to marijuana. I know....what a great parent I am for even letting him use it :(. I allowed him to use it at home as I did not want him out with random people getting into trouble. Initially he was part of a bad group and I did not ... View more

My son is addicted to marijuana. I know....what a great parent I am for even letting him use it :(. I allowed him to use it at home as I did not want him out with random people getting into trouble. Initially he was part of a bad group and I did not want him associating with them.He is now addicted to it and the stuff he is buying is not good and he is really suffering. He has always suffered from insomnia and anxiety. I have done everything I can to try to help him. At the end of the day he is an adult now and he has to learn to take responsibility for himself. He has an appointment tomorrow with the Dr to discuss his issues. I hope so much something can be done to make him feel better about himself. I must say though that I am totally over it all. I have made numerous Dr appointments over the last two years....that he declines to attend . I have offered him Gym membership to get him out there doing something good for himself . Again...declined. I am actually really angry as he does nothing to help himself? I work and have a lot of responsiblity around the house and assisting my elderly father. My son does NOTHING to help around the house. He is totally selfish. He has not got his licence yet although I paid for lessons and have taken him out in my car to get his hours up. He makes every excuse under the Sun to be lazy and entitled. I hate being mean but I fear this is emotional blackmail. He is unhappy with himself but can't get that he is responsible for himself. He has a great life here. Lovely house, lovely food; I drive him to his work etc. He just lays around eating takeout and smoking weed if he is not working. I feel trapped as he sounds off to me constantly about how bad his life is and so forth but I can only tolerate so much. He has no intention of moving out or the like. I am in my late fifties and I am suffering a lot from this. It is like being trapped in a bad marriage!Anyway that is my rant for the day. I appreciate any feedback.

Mickie_dee Alone
  • replies: 1

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in cro... View more

Pretty much alone. Recently out of an abusive relationship, left my job & moved away. After being free from my relationship I got the courage to stop being treated by shit. I have always felt my whole life like I am not good enough. Not in the in crowd. Had partners but never good enough for them to want to marry me, gave up my self for them. Became a people pleaser only to be walked all over constantly by people. My family have treated me with little respect so I have stopped communication with them for almost an year. The name calling, constant drama, told I shouldn’t do this or do that. Over it. I have peace now but am alone. Have no one. Feel like if I died tommorrow no one would care or notice. Really have no friends anymore.

Unknown1 My husband has just come out as Bisexual
  • replies: 5

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 4 years and we have 1 child together. He has just told me that he thinks he is bisexual. My reaction was not the most supportive which I'm ashamed about. He tells me that he has no intention of lea... View more

I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 4 years and we have 1 child together. He has just told me that he thinks he is bisexual. My reaction was not the most supportive which I'm ashamed about. He tells me that he has no intention of leaving me and loves me. He has never been with a man. I do not want an open marriage. I have told him we should separate until he figures out what he wants. He does not want this. I am so confused...I know he would want to do right by our family but I don't want someone that stays with me out of obligation and is inherently unhappy with themselves or decides in 5 years time that he doesn't want to be with me. I have also read a lot of forums that sometimes bisexuality can be a stepping stone to gay (although I know this is not always the case). Obviously a lot of questions that I need to discuss with my husband but I have no one I can talk to and was hoping to get some support from others going through this (bisexual men or wives of bisexual men). Thank you