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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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w1nn1e Keep on getting into bad relationships
  • replies: 19

Unfortunately, through all my serious relationships I've been through a lot of mental stress being emotionally abused/manipulated. I seem to always attract a person that is deeply broken or suffering from severe depression because of my kind and acce... View more

Unfortunately, through all my serious relationships I've been through a lot of mental stress being emotionally abused/manipulated. I seem to always attract a person that is deeply broken or suffering from severe depression because of my kind and accepting nature. But I can't do it anymore, I am trying my best to put my own happiness first instead of someone else's all the time. I'm not saying I am perfect either, I'm just sharing my experiences of always being with someone that has anger issues and doesn't take responsibility for their actions and how it has affected my self esteem. Thinking about what I've let myself go through causes me a lot of shame as financially I've always had to take care of everything too. So I get really sad when I see normal couples going on dates and doing nice things together as I've never really had that before. Has anyone been through something similar where every partner you've have, has mistreated you and how do you not make the same mistake over and over again? I am trying to work on my self esteem through seeing a wonderful psychologist. Just wanted to see if anyone else has been through this too. Or any tips on building self worth would be much appreciated.

t..c I feel alone
  • replies: 2

I'm a girl, and when I tell someone I want a boyfriend or even just a guy friend to hug and help me through everything they either leave or I get called a whore. it's not that I want the attention because that just to many people I want to be seen bu... View more

I'm a girl, and when I tell someone I want a boyfriend or even just a guy friend to hug and help me through everything they either leave or I get called a whore. it's not that I want the attention because that just to many people I want to be seen but not as that sort of figure. I want to feel loved and when I see other couples everywhere it makes me so upset, yes also jealous but more upset because I have wanted to be loved and cherished by someone my whole life but I can never find the right guy. i know this probably seems ridiculous but I want love, even though I know I can wait I just feel like I'm slowly being torn apart because of this one simple thing. my depression gets worse because I feel like I have no one, I get bad anger issues and I lash out at my parents so I can't talk to them either and I don't know what to do, and all of this was brought on just from wanting to be loved. I don't know what to do anymore

Jjosie78 Just found out husband is cheating need help confronting him
  • replies: 13

I've had suspicions my husband was cheating hes denied it all We went out fri night i left early with our daughter he stayed out and came home at 1.30am he said he went to a club alone and met work mates. On sat in saw texts confirming he was at anot... View more

I've had suspicions my husband was cheating hes denied it all We went out fri night i left early with our daughter he stayed out and came home at 1.30am he said he went to a club alone and met work mates. On sat in saw texts confirming he was at another womans house. Hes since deleted the messages I dont know how to confront him on this I'm heartbroken and dont know where to go from here or how to face this I shouldn't have been looking at his phone I know this but I just am at my wits end. I'm in a town with no family and no one to turn to Any advice would be great

Woodsy123 Really Jealous about who my partner has been with in the past
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I’m hear to try and get some advice on my jealousy. Lately I’ve been really jealous about who my partner has been with in the past. It’s all started when I was drunk a couple of months ago and made her tell me the the last person she has... View more

Hi everyone, I’m hear to try and get some advice on my jealousy. Lately I’ve been really jealous about who my partner has been with in the past. It’s all started when I was drunk a couple of months ago and made her tell me the the last person she has slept with and it turns out i know everyone she has slept with and been in a relationship with. I was friends with them all one being a really good mate that she was in a tight relationship for 3 years. But ever since she told me the other person she has slept with I can’t stop thinking that she is a premiscuous now. I know she is not but my stupid brain can’t stop thinking that and it’s really making me upset. I’ve talked to her about it but it still doesn’t seem to make it better. She’s told me that she’s only slept with 5 guys and been in a relationship with 2. She’s 21 years old and I know that is a normal amount for a girl that age but my brain automatically thinks differently. This girl is my first girlfriend And have been together for a year now and we have a kid together and we are engaged. I really love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life but I’m really scared if I can’t get over this jealously it will end our relationship. What do all of you think i should do ? Thanks for listening.

Macka90 Scared something will happen to newborn.
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone. i gave birth 10 days ago to a beautiful son, at 5 days old we ended up back in hospital as he hd a temp of 38.2, we were discharged 2 days ago and since being discharged my anxiety has peaked and gone through the roof so bad that i had t... View more

Hi everyone. i gave birth 10 days ago to a beautiful son, at 5 days old we ended up back in hospital as he hd a temp of 38.2, we were discharged 2 days ago and since being discharged my anxiety has peaked and gone through the roof so bad that i had to be forced to have a shower, i can barely eat nd i barely sleep as i am petrified something is going to happen to him. I have support people around me (husband & sister) that are staying with me through this time but it doesn’t seem to be helping much. My brain wont shut off and i can barely sleep, i am sleeping about 4 hours a night. I dont know how to stop this feeling and its getting worse with everyday that passes. 🥺

Lonely22 Online dating
  • replies: 30

Hey every1, so recently I'm looking into online dating sites but keep hearing negative feedback, that these sites have terrible male female ratio (1f to 10m, rediculous right), that many come across nothing like how they convey themselves, that it's ... View more

Hey every1, so recently I'm looking into online dating sites but keep hearing negative feedback, that these sites have terrible male female ratio (1f to 10m, rediculous right), that many come across nothing like how they convey themselves, that it's so difficult to maintain online chats let alone actually get a date out of any of it, that it's a waste of money/time.... I mean, what alternative do I have, I'm unsocial and social anxiety and useless conversationalist. Idk, I hate competition like this, in social circumstances, I don't compare to any1 else, I'm always last choice, if choice at all (I've only ever gotten rejected asking women out) so until sone1 proves to me otherwise, I'm not relationship material, so why bother.

Little-Miss Christmas and family conflict
  • replies: 5

Hello. I'm guessing there are a few people in the same boat as me. Usually i love the festive season but about 6 months ago my dad and i had a falling out. He hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, even though i've tired contacting him. I saw him tonight ... View more

Hello. I'm guessing there are a few people in the same boat as me. Usually i love the festive season but about 6 months ago my dad and i had a falling out. He hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, even though i've tired contacting him. I saw him tonight at an event at my brothers school, which was a bit awkard. But he did talk to me. At the end of the night he said see you monday (i usually have my parents and brother over for christmas eve dinner) but im not having a dinner this year. However i've got some family coming over for an early christmas lunch Saturday. I haven't told my dad about the lunch becuase im still not ready to forgive him for what he has done (emotionally abusive to my mum and sister and being down right unpleasent, plus ignoring me). Now i feel conflicted because if he finds out i had a christmas thing and didnt invite him he will be angry. My mum who is coming has not said anything to him and she is happy not to tell him about the lunch, but im worried and i dont know if i should just invite him to keep the peace. It feels like never ending drama and its upsetting me. I'm confused about how I feel. Like inviting him might be a step to fix the relationship, yet also on edge because he is manipulative and will pretend everything is OK in front of people and then going back to ignoring me. He shut me out so is it OK if I decide my life is better without him?

Rex_R Stuck in a beautiful trap.
  • replies: 7

Last week I touched briefly on my issues with reconciling my feelings regarding my ex getting into a new relationship, deciding instead to chalk it up to a fanciful obsession with past glories belonging to another time. My next issue, however, is wit... View more

Last week I touched briefly on my issues with reconciling my feelings regarding my ex getting into a new relationship, deciding instead to chalk it up to a fanciful obsession with past glories belonging to another time. My next issue, however, is with my current partner. We've been dating for the better part of two years, I suppose. She's a wonderful woman, nurturing and selfless, and is a fantastic mother figure to my four year old daughter. We share similar interests, like the same foods and hate the same stupid things together. Sounds perfect, right? Right? Seems like it bloody well should, but I'm in utter turmoil. There are several issues, so I'll do my best to do each one justice. I can't give her what she wants/needs. I'm not an overly affectionate person, first off. I like space and don't like being made to be touchy/feely. I feel she's very needy physically, and has a tendency to push the issue then gets upset when I appear to not enjoy a forced snuggle. She wants a baby. I don't want another child. This has been a matter of serious contention, sparking many long arguments and discussions. It's a very lonely feeling when your family, friends and coworkers are constantly pressuring you into having a child, which has happened many times in the past. We knew each other for years before we started dating, and she'd always seemed an easy-going person, not getting bogged down with emotional whatnots, claimed she wasn't particularly affectionate and that she didn't want kids. Perfect for me, in other words. That all seemed to change when we started dating. Things were rushed. It was one of those situations where she stayed over one night and just sort of never left. Then this year, we figured 'why not?' (despite the fact that inside I was strongly opposed to it) and signed her onto the lease. She had divorced shortly before we started dating, and more or less hasn't been alone for her entire adult life, going from one serious relationship to the next. That coupled with her low self esteem and abandonment issues (stemming from events in her life) makes for a difficult situation for me to deal with. She's told me in so many words that if we weren't to work out then she'd probably give up on happiness altogether. Did I mention we work together? I see her all day, every day. I get very little time to myself, and had to change one of my rostered days off so it didn't coincide with hers. I need a bit of "me time" once in a while. More to come

Louise_b_22 Walking on egg shells
  • replies: 3

I am 33 yrs old married with three beautiful kids. I cant seem to do anything right for the past few months. I feel like im constantly walking egg shells in fear of upsetting my husband. I feel like anything i say or do is completely wrong. He consta... View more

I am 33 yrs old married with three beautiful kids. I cant seem to do anything right for the past few months. I feel like im constantly walking egg shells in fear of upsetting my husband. I feel like anything i say or do is completely wrong. He constantly keeps an eye on my social media to see who i am talking/interacting with to the point that i have now deleted all social media and distanced myself from all my friends. I feel very worthless at the moment and like a complete failure to the point where i just dont know what to do anymore. Any advice how to deal or approach this would be wonderful. Not wanting to leave, just want my husband back.

Nicole85 Maybe more than a friend? But ignoring me now.
  • replies: 11

Hi, I have been friends with a guy on and off for 19 years. He has wanted to be with me since the day he met me. I turned him down due to being a teenager and my friends etc. little did I know at the time it would be the biggest regret of my whole li... View more

Hi, I have been friends with a guy on and off for 19 years. He has wanted to be with me since the day he met me. I turned him down due to being a teenager and my friends etc. little did I know at the time it would be the biggest regret of my whole life. When he hasn’t had a partner so when we are allowed to talk we always manage to get in contact with each other. The universe somehow always manages to bring us back together. We are kind of like best friends. We hadn’t seen each other for 16 years but had talked through text. I knew he had depression so always helped him. He would go weeks ignoring my texts at times. His ex messaged me telling me a big secret of his that I didn’t know and he was ashamed to tell me that he is a drug addict including ice. Even though I hadn’t seen him for 16 years I rocked up at his house to see if he was ok as he was ignoring my texts as obviously ashamed. From that day we grew closer. He finally got the courage to start ringing me too occasionally. We could text and talk on the phone for a minimum of 7 hours easily at a time. I was married and had kids. I have now left my husband for him as we know we have something. We got real close as friends. Calling on phone and talking 3-7 hours a night and texts too. He even discussed us having a child together and even told his parents and sister about me and what he wanted he said. He even asked to see me and we met twice and watched movies as friends. It was so good and he wanted to do it more. He did ignore me for a week. I rocked up at his house and text multiple times during that week. He didn’t answer door or my texts. Then he text me saying he hated himself and not me then was like normal again and asked to see me. Then I agreed with him and I said I felt the same way and want to be more than friends. He said he does too but scared about what if we won’t work and we lose our friendship and than said he didn’t know what he wanted. Now he has ignored me for 3 weeks. Ignores all my texts and calls. He did text me about his kid a week ago but then nothing since. I rocked up last night at his house. He wasn’t home he was at a mates house I got told. Why is he ignoring me then? Is he not into me anymore or never was? He can go to his mates but ignores me. I even would send an encouraging good morning and goodnight message every day. So he can go to his mates but not text me? Also I got him off the drugs too. Do I just give up?? Thanks.