Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_82741891 Marriage meltdown after 25 years and so many hurdles, how to cope!?!
  • replies: 1

I’ve been married for 25 years so there’s no way to condense all that into a brief bio.I’m currently seeing a psychologist and a peer worker at a government Mental Health Hub as well as a drug/alcohol counsellor at another community centre.These sess... View more

I’ve been married for 25 years so there’s no way to condense all that into a brief bio.I’m currently seeing a psychologist and a peer worker at a government Mental Health Hub as well as a drug/alcohol counsellor at another community centre.These sessions are generally once a week which sounds like a lot of support, but I still feel like I’m lacking something and am grasping at straws hoping for a quick fix which I know isn’t possible. I’m posting this in the hope that I will find someone in a similar situation that I can chat to.My marriage has been fraught with many issues including an emigration I wasn’t happy with and numerous moves since then. In the process I became very dependant on alcohol. Yes, a very unhealthy stress relief option but so be it.We have now built a new house in the country and a week after moving in I got a letter from my husband’s lawyer placing our separation date on record since you need 12 months of separation before you can get divorced in Australia.I’ve been like an ostrich since then, in complete denial even 2 months after the fact.I have never ever, in all this time suspected that he would have an affair but the sudden determination and urgency at ending our marriage got me rethinking that. Since yesterday I have 2 very compelling reasons to believe that there is in fact a third person in this marriage.He denied it, of course and in a weak moment said “we are legally separated, I can do whatever I want” which was pretty telling.I am so very alone, I have no idea where to go from here! I know acceptance is the next logical step but I can’t find a way to get there.Our kids are mostly grown up and will mostly be fine without us. Yes, there’s a bit of “empty nest syndrome” there but there’s also a feeling that no-one needs me and they’d all be better off if I just wasn’t here anymore. Sure, they’d be sad for a while, especially my mum, but ultimately that’s the best situation I can picture right now.I have called Lifeline once before and they were more helpful than I expected them to be. What’s ultimately keeping me from doing anything stupid though isThe thought that someone I love will have to find me after the fact and deal with all of thatThe extreme pain it would cause my mum and, to a lesser extent other family membersThe pressure of having to write letters to my kids and other family members explaining why I did what I did and attempt to absolve them of any guilt

Guest_76191066 Lost myself loving someone who cant live without me
  • replies: 2

title. 24/mgoing to be a bit long winded need to get all of this outpeople seem to come to me when they have problems, depression especially. ive helped close friends come out of their "holes" unhealthy, over weight, isolating themselves. I felt like... View more

title. 24/mgoing to be a bit long winded need to get all of this outpeople seem to come to me when they have problems, depression especially. ive helped close friends come out of their "holes" unhealthy, over weight, isolating themselves. I felt like i had the key to happiness, like it was simple. small steps every day to feel better. listen to the birds, appreciate the suns warmth.I met a girl. its been 2 years and we live together. she has diagnosed issues and I try and have tried everything i know how to help her. it feels like nothing i do is enough help her be happy. I love her. but i dont think i can be with her. its seeping into me and im losing myself my friends my hobbies my love for life. and she says she cant live without me. I cant get over how i would be making a choice to leave a choice to be selfish and give up. it would destroy her. ive tried to get her back to therapy and ive tried every trick to get her up and out the house to hear the birds and feel the sun. she needs help and i thought it could be me to save her. i try to be who she needs, working for our future but i get the same resistance to positivity. im failing what i thought was my lifes purpose. to help someone. im lost

Guest_78532480 Lying
  • replies: 2

I’ve had problems with addiction since I was probably 16, I got clean off of a certain anxiety medication about a year ago and I’m super proud of myself, but that’s not where the addiction stops, I have problems with vaping, I’ve tried to stop and I ... View more

I’ve had problems with addiction since I was probably 16, I got clean off of a certain anxiety medication about a year ago and I’m super proud of myself, but that’s not where the addiction stops, I have problems with vaping, I’ve tried to stop and I just can’t I’ve tired Nicolette chewies, I’ve tried cold turkey. it’s now effecting my relationship with my girlfriend because I’m lying about it, idk why I keep lying but I do, she’s caught me with vapes on multiple occasions where I’ve said I don’t have one, idk what to do to help save my relationship and to help me quit them, it’s effecting my mental health as well as hers

Guest_67869874 Life after abortion
  • replies: 2

Hi, I had an abortion 6 months ago. I found out I was pregnant late one night and was quite happy. I told my partner but he wasn’t as keen and said he wasn’t ready. We discussed our options but ultimately settled for an abortion (I suffer from anxiet... View more

Hi, I had an abortion 6 months ago. I found out I was pregnant late one night and was quite happy. I told my partner but he wasn’t as keen and said he wasn’t ready. We discussed our options but ultimately settled for an abortion (I suffer from anxiety and have c/hood trauma). The next two weeks were the worst of my life. I agreed to an abortion but I didn’t want it. I spent days crying and throwing up until I ended up in hospital from dehydration (3 times) I felt so helpless in the hospital. Due to my anxiety I couldn’t stop vomiting after the abortion either. I ended up back at the hospital after the abortion and felt so ashamed and embarrassed, like the whole world was looking down on me. I tried to go back to work but I couldn’t keep it together, every pregnant woman every child, I cry. I lost my job. Tried to exercise exclusively to distract myself and wore myself out. I stopped exercising about two months ago and now I feel lost, I’ve gained weight which only makes me feel worse. I last about a week between hysterical breakdowns about the abortion (I didn’t want to have an abortion, it’s destroyed me emotionally) I don’t have any friends so all I do is think about it. I want to be able to get past this but I feel like I’m frozen in time. The worlds so fast paced I feel like I’m drowning.

naralle I'm struggling
  • replies: 2

I'm not coping at all with my husband drinking and he needs help. He knows he's an alcoholic but won't get help.

I'm not coping at all with my husband drinking and he needs help. He knows he's an alcoholic but won't get help.

Yearnineteen Dick brother
  • replies: 4

Hey, Im not super close with my brother so while my parents were on holiday i thought id invite them over. I said come over what ever day at whatever time (despite my very busy uni schedule) he could chose lunch. My boyfriend stayed up all night maki... View more

Hey, Im not super close with my brother so while my parents were on holiday i thought id invite them over. I said come over what ever day at whatever time (despite my very busy uni schedule) he could chose lunch. My boyfriend stayed up all night making a brisket to impress him and spent over $200, only for him and his family on the day to say there coming late because his son needs a nap… i asked if he could nap here and he says there not coming because hes got his own family now, its too painful to see me and he doesn’t need me. A I was obviously really upset. Hes now coming over tonight and i dont want too see him unless he apologizes but my parents screamed at me and said i have to and he wont apologize. My mum started crying (playing the victim as usal) and said she will never do anything for me again, then my dad claims im threatening her? And says hes going to slap the shit out of me so i slap him first and he says hes going to call the police 💀 Anyways what the hell do i do, i dont have anywhere to stay and cant afford to move out.

Guest_44363348 Ex husband keeps texting me
  • replies: 1

Help! I was married to my ex husband for 15 years and being separated for 9 years in November.. due to a toxic relationship.. we are not divorced but separated The last 9 months he has being suffering from pstd and keeps saying he wants to harm himse... View more

Help! I was married to my ex husband for 15 years and being separated for 9 years in November.. due to a toxic relationship.. we are not divorced but separated The last 9 months he has being suffering from pstd and keeps saying he wants to harm himself.. he just doesn't text me he texts our adult daughters too, and sends my eldest daughter into meltdowns (she has Asperger's) I am feeling stressed out about the whole situation, and have raised my concerns to my GP about my ex, he advised me to call the police or ambulance for a welfare check.. This has happened when I was living with him as well, he goes into mind games and stirs up alot of things .. I feel like he is trying to blame me for the way he is feeling.. Help please ..

Tinam Our son was charged with murder
  • replies: 13

Does anyone know of any support groups for parents with criminal children? We can't get ourselves out of this depressed state of bewilderment and need to talk to other parents coping with same issues. Our son was 18 yrs old when he was charged.

Does anyone know of any support groups for parents with criminal children? We can't get ourselves out of this depressed state of bewilderment and need to talk to other parents coping with same issues. Our son was 18 yrs old when he was charged.

Jannaku Hurt by Close Friend
  • replies: 3

I have a close friend who has been part of my family for over 40 years and is like a sister to me. We’ve travelled alongside each other through the highs and lows of life and are now nearing retirement age. Life circumstances (deaths & separation) fi... View more

I have a close friend who has been part of my family for over 40 years and is like a sister to me. We’ve travelled alongside each other through the highs and lows of life and are now nearing retirement age. Life circumstances (deaths & separation) finds us both single with no close family as such, although I have two adult children who have mental health disabilities that are highly dependent on me. We recently spoke about the idea of living together in our future retirement for financial and social reasons following the death of her hubby and my separation and all was good. We began excitedly discussing and planning things but hit an impasse when she stated that she would not want one of my children to live with us because of their “toxic” behaviour (she never had children and is the godmother of mine). I stated that this was unacceptable because I could never ban any child from living with me so we started exploring the idea of a dual living arrangement were we could still have independence. Due to many factors, including recent deaths in my family and finances, the idea was temporarily put on the back burner. As far as I was concerned there was no urgency as this was something for the future when she retires from the workforce in 3-5 years. Unbeknown to me she changed her mind about our plans and subsequently made a huge life decision to sell her home and buy into a retirement lifestyle village in another state. She did all of this without mentioning it to me until it was a done deal. Although I can understand her motives (financial & lifestyle), I can’t help but feel really disappointed that she didn’t consider me at all, knowing that my future plans included her. I have no other person of significance left in my life other than her, so losing her is a huge blow that really hurts. Her decision has completely changed the plans and outlook I had for my future. I’ve gone from having a financially feasible plan, with companionship and something to look forward to, to having uncertainty and loneliness. It changes everything and I’ve gone from having optimism to now feeling extremely depressed. This has also come hot on the heels of losing the only two other significant people I had in my life (aunt in Oct 23 and mother in Nov 23). I’m struggling and questioning whether I still want to even remain friends with her because at the end of the day she clearly doesn’t have the connection with me that I thought she did and her complete lack of consideration is making me view her through a different lens. I highly valued our friendship and was so grateful that I had someone akin to a sister in my life, but that’s all gone now and I feel betrayed. Am I right to feel the way I do? Do I continue with the friendship or just accept that its over?

David35 How to deal with brothers narcissist wife
  • replies: 2

Several years ago my mum got cancer and has now since got through it. In that time my brothers wife no longer talks to us. Last boxing day she couldn't be bothered turning up to our house. She has literally cut off all communication with mum and I. S... View more

Several years ago my mum got cancer and has now since got through it. In that time my brothers wife no longer talks to us. Last boxing day she couldn't be bothered turning up to our house. She has literally cut off all communication with mum and I. She was once a loving, caring person but for the life of me, are at a loss. We think 2 things occurred. 1) she realised mum was not willing to pay off my brothers mortgage 2) mum got sick. Either way, mum is a grandmother in name only. In her own words "My brothers wife stole everything that meant something to me, and he let it happen ". She has repeatedly asked my brother what is going on. He's too gutless to be honest with her. The last time we saw her was over a year ago where she pretended to care about mum in front of the kids, but won't speak to her anymore. We both feel used, manipulated. Once mum stopped being so financially generous to them, around the same time mum got cancer because she was so hurt by their lack of concern for her, the LOve tap literally turned off. It's almost as if they have blackmailed us with the love of the kids. We either pay up, or we don't see the kids, knowing full we'll it would crush mum. We'll it has.today was spent arguing with mum about stupid things. It all got back to " Why has she done this? I couldnt help getting cancer". It's almost as if we provide no benefit to them anymore, so they don't want to know us. Any insight would be much appreciated. She's contemplated changing her will.