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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lonely22 Online dating
  • replies: 30

Hey every1, so recently I'm looking into online dating sites but keep hearing negative feedback, that these sites have terrible male female ratio (1f to 10m, rediculous right), that many come across nothing like how they convey themselves, that it's ... View more

Hey every1, so recently I'm looking into online dating sites but keep hearing negative feedback, that these sites have terrible male female ratio (1f to 10m, rediculous right), that many come across nothing like how they convey themselves, that it's so difficult to maintain online chats let alone actually get a date out of any of it, that it's a waste of money/time.... I mean, what alternative do I have, I'm unsocial and social anxiety and useless conversationalist. Idk, I hate competition like this, in social circumstances, I don't compare to any1 else, I'm always last choice, if choice at all (I've only ever gotten rejected asking women out) so until sone1 proves to me otherwise, I'm not relationship material, so why bother.

Little-Miss Christmas and family conflict
  • replies: 5

Hello. I'm guessing there are a few people in the same boat as me. Usually i love the festive season but about 6 months ago my dad and i had a falling out. He hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, even though i've tired contacting him. I saw him tonight ... View more

Hello. I'm guessing there are a few people in the same boat as me. Usually i love the festive season but about 6 months ago my dad and i had a falling out. He hasn't spoken to me for 6 months, even though i've tired contacting him. I saw him tonight at an event at my brothers school, which was a bit awkard. But he did talk to me. At the end of the night he said see you monday (i usually have my parents and brother over for christmas eve dinner) but im not having a dinner this year. However i've got some family coming over for an early christmas lunch Saturday. I haven't told my dad about the lunch becuase im still not ready to forgive him for what he has done (emotionally abusive to my mum and sister and being down right unpleasent, plus ignoring me). Now i feel conflicted because if he finds out i had a christmas thing and didnt invite him he will be angry. My mum who is coming has not said anything to him and she is happy not to tell him about the lunch, but im worried and i dont know if i should just invite him to keep the peace. It feels like never ending drama and its upsetting me. I'm confused about how I feel. Like inviting him might be a step to fix the relationship, yet also on edge because he is manipulative and will pretend everything is OK in front of people and then going back to ignoring me. He shut me out so is it OK if I decide my life is better without him?

Rex_R Stuck in a beautiful trap.
  • replies: 7

Last week I touched briefly on my issues with reconciling my feelings regarding my ex getting into a new relationship, deciding instead to chalk it up to a fanciful obsession with past glories belonging to another time. My next issue, however, is wit... View more

Last week I touched briefly on my issues with reconciling my feelings regarding my ex getting into a new relationship, deciding instead to chalk it up to a fanciful obsession with past glories belonging to another time. My next issue, however, is with my current partner. We've been dating for the better part of two years, I suppose. She's a wonderful woman, nurturing and selfless, and is a fantastic mother figure to my four year old daughter. We share similar interests, like the same foods and hate the same stupid things together. Sounds perfect, right? Right? Seems like it bloody well should, but I'm in utter turmoil. There are several issues, so I'll do my best to do each one justice. I can't give her what she wants/needs. I'm not an overly affectionate person, first off. I like space and don't like being made to be touchy/feely. I feel she's very needy physically, and has a tendency to push the issue then gets upset when I appear to not enjoy a forced snuggle. She wants a baby. I don't want another child. This has been a matter of serious contention, sparking many long arguments and discussions. It's a very lonely feeling when your family, friends and coworkers are constantly pressuring you into having a child, which has happened many times in the past. We knew each other for years before we started dating, and she'd always seemed an easy-going person, not getting bogged down with emotional whatnots, claimed she wasn't particularly affectionate and that she didn't want kids. Perfect for me, in other words. That all seemed to change when we started dating. Things were rushed. It was one of those situations where she stayed over one night and just sort of never left. Then this year, we figured 'why not?' (despite the fact that inside I was strongly opposed to it) and signed her onto the lease. She had divorced shortly before we started dating, and more or less hasn't been alone for her entire adult life, going from one serious relationship to the next. That coupled with her low self esteem and abandonment issues (stemming from events in her life) makes for a difficult situation for me to deal with. She's told me in so many words that if we weren't to work out then she'd probably give up on happiness altogether. Did I mention we work together? I see her all day, every day. I get very little time to myself, and had to change one of my rostered days off so it didn't coincide with hers. I need a bit of "me time" once in a while. More to come

Louise_b_22 Walking on egg shells
  • replies: 3

I am 33 yrs old married with three beautiful kids. I cant seem to do anything right for the past few months. I feel like im constantly walking egg shells in fear of upsetting my husband. I feel like anything i say or do is completely wrong. He consta... View more

I am 33 yrs old married with three beautiful kids. I cant seem to do anything right for the past few months. I feel like im constantly walking egg shells in fear of upsetting my husband. I feel like anything i say or do is completely wrong. He constantly keeps an eye on my social media to see who i am talking/interacting with to the point that i have now deleted all social media and distanced myself from all my friends. I feel very worthless at the moment and like a complete failure to the point where i just dont know what to do anymore. Any advice how to deal or approach this would be wonderful. Not wanting to leave, just want my husband back.

Nicole85 Maybe more than a friend? But ignoring me now.
  • replies: 11

Hi, I have been friends with a guy on and off for 19 years. He has wanted to be with me since the day he met me. I turned him down due to being a teenager and my friends etc. little did I know at the time it would be the biggest regret of my whole li... View more

Hi, I have been friends with a guy on and off for 19 years. He has wanted to be with me since the day he met me. I turned him down due to being a teenager and my friends etc. little did I know at the time it would be the biggest regret of my whole life. When he hasn’t had a partner so when we are allowed to talk we always manage to get in contact with each other. The universe somehow always manages to bring us back together. We are kind of like best friends. We hadn’t seen each other for 16 years but had talked through text. I knew he had depression so always helped him. He would go weeks ignoring my texts at times. His ex messaged me telling me a big secret of his that I didn’t know and he was ashamed to tell me that he is a drug addict including ice. Even though I hadn’t seen him for 16 years I rocked up at his house to see if he was ok as he was ignoring my texts as obviously ashamed. From that day we grew closer. He finally got the courage to start ringing me too occasionally. We could text and talk on the phone for a minimum of 7 hours easily at a time. I was married and had kids. I have now left my husband for him as we know we have something. We got real close as friends. Calling on phone and talking 3-7 hours a night and texts too. He even discussed us having a child together and even told his parents and sister about me and what he wanted he said. He even asked to see me and we met twice and watched movies as friends. It was so good and he wanted to do it more. He did ignore me for a week. I rocked up at his house and text multiple times during that week. He didn’t answer door or my texts. Then he text me saying he hated himself and not me then was like normal again and asked to see me. Then I agreed with him and I said I felt the same way and want to be more than friends. He said he does too but scared about what if we won’t work and we lose our friendship and than said he didn’t know what he wanted. Now he has ignored me for 3 weeks. Ignores all my texts and calls. He did text me about his kid a week ago but then nothing since. I rocked up last night at his house. He wasn’t home he was at a mates house I got told. Why is he ignoring me then? Is he not into me anymore or never was? He can go to his mates but ignores me. I even would send an encouraging good morning and goodnight message every day. So he can go to his mates but not text me? Also I got him off the drugs too. Do I just give up?? Thanks.

JaiPR Complicated, Issues With Mother And My Own Chronic Disease.
  • replies: 1

A long story incoming, I am 17 years old, i currently suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and a form of bowel disease. I spent almost a whole year in bed, asleep for 18 hours a day, eating one meal a day and slowly wasting away. We finally found out... View more

A long story incoming, I am 17 years old, i currently suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and a form of bowel disease. I spent almost a whole year in bed, asleep for 18 hours a day, eating one meal a day and slowly wasting away. We finally found out what was going on after many wrong diagnosis's and doctors appointments and i am on the road to recovery. So far i have gained a little bit of weight, have a normal sleeping pattern and am dieting for both nutrition and weight. I have just started to introduce exercise into my routine in the last two months. My mother has been supportive through out this, but is not understanding and i believe it has impacted her mental health. She has progressively started thinking that the fatigue and memory problems from CFS are all lies and that i am just lazy. I have to actively set reminders for every activity of the day to remember them and when i don't she just thinks i am being lazy. When i say i am too tired, apparently i am too lazy. She has convinced herself that i am not trying to get better and i live being able to not do anything with life and be extremely unwell. She has grown angry, irritable and always seems to be distant or thinking about something else. Not long before i wrote this, i was writing my diet chart down for the dietitian and couldn't find the cream to find the brand, so i asked and she said it was on the top shelf, i looked on the top shelf where the cream always is, i said it wasn't there and she gets super angry storms up and pulls the cream out of the back of the middle of the fridge, insults me, tells me im useless and cant do anything for myself. She then asked if i could get her something i just said no, not after talking to me like that for such a trivial issue and went back into my room. She then turned the internet off and said she turned it off for not doing something for her. Earlier i walk out to ask when dinner would be ready, she is irritable still and just gives me some really dismissive answer and attitude then swears under he breath. So i ask what did i do wrong? and she says this "Everything, you're useless and you never do anything, just like right now, standing there doing nothing". I proceed to ask calmly, maybe we should go see a family therapist as the way you have been acting recently has been really hurting my mental state. She then proceeds to victimise herself and say that no one ever does anything for her and she is perfectly fine mentally.

C74 I HATE my father.
  • replies: 3

I hate him. I hate him so badly. And that mother believes everything he says. Everyone at school thinks I'm that good, caring, quiet, diligent girl. They'd be shocked if they knew I was writing this post, but I don't truly believe I'm a good person. ... View more

I hate him. I hate him so badly. And that mother believes everything he says. Everyone at school thinks I'm that good, caring, quiet, diligent girl. They'd be shocked if they knew I was writing this post, but I don't truly believe I'm a good person. I honestly feel like I'm going insane. I'm not saying my hate towards my dad is not justified. He's gone ahead with many violent acts towards me, everything. He has horrific temper issues that he can't control, and as a result, I want to inflict the same pain towards him. The only reason I don't is because I truly don't want to hurt anyone, but lately I can't stop thinking about it. I want to see him beg for mercy in front of me, sobbing, telling me that he's sorry. I want him to feel pain, and I hate that about myself. I've been having a rough time already; my school grades haven't been great despite the fact that i've stayed up past 4am studying, and my parents won't believe me when I say i've been working hard. They keep accusing me of playing games instead of working. I really don't, but they don't care. They hurt me. I truthfully tell them I'm working, I beg them to listen, but they threaten me. They tell me I'll get in more trouble if I keep 'lying'. I'm left to the point where I live no choice but to lie and pretend I was playing games. It's not fair. They don't understand me, they never will. Sometimes I feel so much rage that i can't contain myself, I clench my fists and the rage builds to the point where I feel as if my head will explode. I've been hurt so much over these years, and I just want someone to understand how I feel. My parents won't ever understand unless they feel it themselves. I hate life, I hate everything. I just want this to be over. Someone, please help me... I'm so scared and I need someone so badly. Why doesn't anyone care about me? Why won't anyone just listen to me? Why don't I have anyone? I've done everything I could, i've been there for people when they've needed me... why is it that once I need someone, I find myself all alone? I was honestly mad when I began writing this, but now I feel as if I can't crying. What's happening to me?

Vamps007 Overprotective parents
  • replies: 2

hi my name isNarelle and my parents won’t let me do anything that I want all I wanted to do is to send some one money for the orphanage somewhere and they are stopping me from doing this what should I do as I have got depression really really bad and... View more

hi my name isNarelle and my parents won’t let me do anything that I want all I wanted to do is to send some one money for the orphanage somewhere and they are stopping me from doing this what should I do as I have got depression really really bad and my doctor is sending me to a psychiatrist and I don’t want to go and I just want to be rid of my parents on my case all the time what should I do

Fashion_Dash Controlling parents
  • replies: 4

I'm currently 16 and my parents are controlling me. My dad in particular dosent let me walk out the house wearing shorts, crop tops or anything revealing.i can't go to parties or have a boyfriend. I just wanna move out. How do I deal with this? View more

I'm currently 16 and my parents are controlling me. My dad in particular dosent let me walk out the house wearing shorts, crop tops or anything revealing.i can't go to parties or have a boyfriend. I just wanna move out. How do I deal with this?

broc husband smokes pot daily - dont like it
  • replies: 5

Hi please no judgement I just need some helpful advice Please. i have been with my partner for over 20 years and he use to smoke pot daily and stopped about 2 years ago, he started smoking a joint once a week now it’s bongs every day after work and e... View more

Hi please no judgement I just need some helpful advice Please. i have been with my partner for over 20 years and he use to smoke pot daily and stopped about 2 years ago, he started smoking a joint once a week now it’s bongs every day after work and earlier on weekends. he says he smokes pot to relax and calm down as he is very stressed. He recently took time off work due to a mini break down and he was looking for reasons that caused it from too much sugar to a nose spray he was using- the truth is his pot use increased and in my heart I feel it was a big contributor to the breakdown as he won’t deal with things as weed fixes everything. I sent him to dr and he was given antidepressants- I was fortunate enough to speak with his dr as he asked if I was concerned about his mental health state and I said yes and told him about my husband smoking pot my hubby never mentioned that to the dr. today I asked him to please cut back on pot and it was like I asked him to chop off his leg his response was oh so u wAnt me to stop the only thing I have, stop the only thing that relaxes me and oh it’s all about you... I only asked him to cut back but lately when I ask anything he twists my words causes an argument and blames it on me. And he says nasty things about my mental health to me things like he couldn’t be with me if I wasn’t on meds (I have PTSD) and have been proactive about my condition. And to top it off today he said I can’t waitvto have a room in the house where I can sit in my comfy chair and smoke weed instead of you sending me to the shed ( I won’t allow it near my daughter who is 11) so today he made sure I knew he wanted in bed all day sulking about me questioning his pot he had none and he isn’t nice to be around so it’s like he has become over defensive about his pot habit he changes words around and is becoming more hurtful when he isn’t stoned but when he is stoned he is nice I’m stuck I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking daily pot smoking is the way you deal with stress and I’m a very loyal person and find it hard to leave - I would like to help hubby get better but just not sure how to go about it