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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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T45h Long term intimacy issues
  • replies: 8

Hi folks I’m not too sure where to start this. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years & since I had some surgery approximately 6 years ago I have lost all interest in any sort of intimacy. The thought of it doesn’t even cross my mind. This of course ... View more

Hi folks I’m not too sure where to start this. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years & since I had some surgery approximately 6 years ago I have lost all interest in any sort of intimacy. The thought of it doesn’t even cross my mind. This of course impacts on my marriage & Im not too sure where I should start looking to seek help. Ive had a ‘perfect storm’ culminating with work/home/health & i believe I’m now at a point where my mild anxiety is spiralling into more severe, I feel no enjoyment, I cry for no reason (& im generally a very unemotional person) & I’ve tried the conventional activities with my husband to try & reinvigorate the spark to no avail. Have others found couples therapy or sec therapy has helped? I’m so embarrassed & ashamed about all of this & I don’t know where else to turn to. thanks for taking the time to read this. T

Beautifulview Husband so detached and cold
  • replies: 2

I married for the second time about 4 years ago. My 1st marriage ended after 21 years when he had an affair. I was very slow to trust anyone again but H was so loving and caring that when he asked me to marry him I said yes. About 2 years ago he star... View more

I married for the second time about 4 years ago. My 1st marriage ended after 21 years when he had an affair. I was very slow to trust anyone again but H was so loving and caring that when he asked me to marry him I said yes. About 2 years ago he started a very stressful job and became exhausted, withdrawn, uncommunicative and put on weight. I think he may be depressed but he wont talk to me about anything. If I bring stuff up, he clams up and acts deaf. He is now saying that everyone, including me bother him and when I call him out on not talking to me or even looking at me I am adding to his stress. I try to be understanding but my own stress and anxiety builds until I just have to say something to get a conversation started. Last night he said he couldn't give me what I wanted - i was asking for reassurance and hope that things would get better and when I asked why he wouldn't look at me he said he couldn't be bothered with the conversation and he had nothing to say. I'm so hurt and I feel so stupid - like I've let myself down by being fooled by another man who has let me down. I'm ready to leave but have nowhere to go and a 16 year old daughter who looks on him as a dad. I'm sleeping in another room but it doesn't seem to bother him. My heart feels broken and I'm so sad and so alone. I'm not one to open up and tell people my issues. I'll be at work tomorrow pretending everything is ok and that in itself is destroying me.

HELP_1 Neighbourhood dispute
  • replies: 7

Hi All, I am a 46yr old wife and mother of 3. We are having a dispute with one of our neighbours who complains about our dogs barking. They bark about 3 times a day at different times and only about 3- 5 barks each. He says they bark constantly all d... View more

Hi All, I am a 46yr old wife and mother of 3. We are having a dispute with one of our neighbours who complains about our dogs barking. They bark about 3 times a day at different times and only about 3- 5 barks each. He says they bark constantly all day, which they don’t. He only rents a granny flat from the owner of the property. The property owner also lives in the main house on the property. To start off with the property owner was sympathetic towards us but the tenant has told him a whole lot of lies and now he is also putting all the blame of the situation on us. The tenant has threatened my husband with physical violence, and the police are involved. I am just wanting to know how to get this out of my head so I can get some sleep and not go completely insane. I am constantly crying and have no motivation to want to do anything. I am already being treated for depression and high blood pressure. As we own our home it is not just a matter of picking up and moving for us. This is really affecting me as we have never had to call the police or been in any kind of trouble with the police at all and I am finding it really hard to cope with. Please help!

Anon64 Help I have BPD and have left my husband
  • replies: 9

I have suffered from mental illness anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. Recently about 5 months ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. This then led to me seperating from my husband of 15 years I’ve moved out with... View more

I have suffered from mental illness anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. Recently about 5 months ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. This then led to me seperating from my husband of 15 years I’ve moved out with a new partner which I didn’t expect to happen. My ex has now found out and hates me badly. He’s heartbroken. We have 2 boys 9 & 6 and it’s been hard on all of us. I keep flipping between wanting to go back and wanting to stay with my new partner (who is amazing and makes me very happy) it just feels easier to go back. I’m in intense mental pain my anxiety is horrendous. The separation was because I couldn’t love him anymore so it’s not fair to stay right? I’m so confused and hurting so much. I was very unhappy in my marriage for a while. I went into shock when me ex yelled his pain and hatred at me and I can’t snap out of feeling like it’s all my fault.

Taurus93 Feel Stuck In Relationship
  • replies: 8

Hey all, I'm a 25 year old woman who has been suffering from depression on and off for 10 years. Last year I gave birth to my son, he is now 16 months and we live in a granny flat on my partner's parents property. I fell pregnant pretty quickly once ... View more

Hey all, I'm a 25 year old woman who has been suffering from depression on and off for 10 years. Last year I gave birth to my son, he is now 16 months and we live in a granny flat on my partner's parents property. I fell pregnant pretty quickly once me and my partner started dating. We both met online and played online games together. He didn't work and neither did I. I lived with my mum and he lived with his parents. Long story short we were both shut-ins basically. I wanted that to change once baby was born. But nothing has really changed, other than the fact that I moved 2 hours away from my family to live with him and our son. I thought he would at least get a job and stop playing video games so much. But he hasn't, he has also developed depression and started taking anti-depressants. He sometimes has mood swings where he will get really angry. I've done everything around the house, beside taking out the trash on my own the past 11 months. It was a struggle to get him to help me with the baby at first. He wouldn't offer to help. I had to ask him, and if he was playing a game I'd have to wait till he was done or found a save point... We had a lot of arguments over this. I just started asking, nagging him to help me. He does help now when I ask but I wish he'd just do it without me having to ask sometimes. We have argued about the house chores recently, since he doesn't work he should help too instead of playing games all day. He's not even looking for work. He's on centerlink payments and expects his job provider to find a job for him. I've told him I'm unhappy, recently I told him I'm falling out of love with him. That cut him deep I think, he said he loves me and doesn't want me to leave. I told him I have been thinking about leaving, about going back to live with my mum. He hugged me tight and started crying, saying please don't leave. I cried too, cause I don't like hurting him. I do love him as our child's father and I used to be in love with him. I feel dumb for saying I'll stay. As he's still just playing games all day and helps at times. I don't know if I should stay in this relationship or move on. I don't want to be with someone who just plays games all day everyday. I wanted us to be a family, not me being his maid and his mother... A psychologist I spoke to last week told me I had two options, leave or learn to live with it. I think he's right. What do you guys think? (posted in Depression thread first. Sorry for double posting.)

Angel_face my husband admitted he is gay after 18 years together
  • replies: 9

Hi, I’m new to this and I’m not sure how to start and if this is the right place to talk but In the last year and a half I had questioned my husband if he was gay after finding a few things, he always denied it to me for so long and said that he wasn... View more

Hi, I’m new to this and I’m not sure how to start and if this is the right place to talk but In the last year and a half I had questioned my husband if he was gay after finding a few things, he always denied it to me for so long and said that he wasn’t. Just recently, I had found something that basically caught him out. He still denied it going away with this person but in the end he admitted that he was gay and he always suppressed his feelings. After speaking to him and finding out everything he did and what he put me through mentally and physically I am finding it really hard to deal with. He told me that he felt like this before we got married which was around 12 years ago and we had 2 kids in that time. I have had so much anxiety, stress and feeling emotionaly depressed about what he has put me through. I thought I had a life ahead with him but knowing now that he’s gay and that he has moved in with this partner has killed me even more. I cannot cope day by day and I don’t know how I am going to move forward in my life! I feel so sad and I’ve got so many different emotions what I’m going through. I never expected after 18 years together he would turn around and say he’s gay. I am really struggling and I would like some advice and help how I can move past this?

Bloody_Confused Please help!
  • replies: 2

Hello, This year has been the worst year of my life. First a friend passed away in February; my mother passed away in March; my grandmother passed away in August and an Uncle passed away in November. I'm a married woman (12 years) with 2 boys 8 and 1... View more

Hello, This year has been the worst year of my life. First a friend passed away in February; my mother passed away in March; my grandmother passed away in August and an Uncle passed away in November. I'm a married woman (12 years) with 2 boys 8 and 10. Thought I was happy. In September I started chatting to an old school friend who's marriage has been in a terrible state for years. Long story short its escalated to a full affair. Chatting every day, meeting when we can. The dilemma I have is I'm not sure if it's because of the horrible year I've had that I'm just grabbing on to something that makes me feel by happy as I think of him constantly. He is consuming my whole day, every day. I'm so confused. Thank you for even just taking the time to read this.

Donny020572 Not sure
  • replies: 6

Im knowing what some of you might say not sure if i get it out right but here goes. Gf moved out about 4 months after 8yrs. Ok i messed up i keep getting dating sites to chat ONLY no plan to meet. Got found out everytime dumb me. The thing she didnt ... View more

Im knowing what some of you might say not sure if i get it out right but here goes. Gf moved out about 4 months after 8yrs. Ok i messed up i keep getting dating sites to chat ONLY no plan to meet. Got found out everytime dumb me. The thing she didnt like was i liked xdressing and growing breast. Not interested in guys but talk dirty to them. I havent had intercourse even with my ex in a long time. So now i stress every day cry every day and being xmas no help around this time. So i scared i will mess my next relationship up so it will be easier to be dead then i will be happy. So life is not great. No friend no life time see what happen. Thanks

Lost27 Am I over thinking or is something wrong.
  • replies: 1

Hello, Sorry this is a bit long I am just so upset, depressed and confused. So alot has happened in the last few months with my long term/long distance relationship. I have been with my bf for almost 3 years and have been back and fourth for college ... View more

Hello, Sorry this is a bit long I am just so upset, depressed and confused. So alot has happened in the last few months with my long term/long distance relationship. I have been with my bf for almost 3 years and have been back and fourth for college in the USA for about 16 months. But that hasn't been the problem. A few months ago he broke it off agile I was in the USA and lot went down with within myself. Anyway he came back to me saying he was wrong and he over reacted and alot off stuff. Even after everything he said and put me (me no longer wanting to be here) I forgave him. We where good but then he forgot my birthday and also forgot I was coming home. He was out and wouldn't reply to my messages and then he got mad at me becUse I was upset about those other few things. He then wouldn't talk to me or see me for about 4 days. We where better after we talked again and was slightly back to normal. He used to message and want to talk to me alot and want to see me. But he doesn't as much anymore. I know he is different now like we all are and we have been in a relationship for a while and things change. We got into a fight yesterday because I wanted to know if he still loved me and wanted to be with me and if he saw a future with me. A few days before that he said he did but yesterday he got so stressed and uptite Thatcher said he did love me but can no longer see the future with me. He said he use to see it in the next year or so that we would get ingaged but now doesn't. But we talked and he said after he calmed down and he does want that with me just isn't really thinking about it anymore so close. So yesterday was also the last day to see him before I leave for another few months and he didn't really get upset like he used to or hug me or walk me to the door and didn't really even say he loves me because he said its just normal now. He hasn't messaged me as well till 4pm even tho he said he would know the morning and he used to tell me goodmlrning. I just don't know. I love him o much I am just always feeling upset and down and used. All I am wondering is it normal for each other to talk less and not need to see eachbkther more. I could be over thinking and just stressing.

38yearold My wife told me she isn’t in love with me anymore
  • replies: 42

Hi all, So my wife told me 8 days ago she isn’t in love with me anymore. We have booked some immediate counselling sessions, but she is cold, uninterested and won’t let me in. We have a 5 year old boy. The consequences will be huge for him and financ... View more

Hi all, So my wife told me 8 days ago she isn’t in love with me anymore. We have booked some immediate counselling sessions, but she is cold, uninterested and won’t let me in. We have a 5 year old boy. The consequences will be huge for him and financially as well. I have been through so many emotions, fear, depression, anxiety and anger. Not sure what to do. Looking for some guidance and support from you the community. Many thanks in advance.