Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_67956491 Blamed for Everything
  • replies: 1

Hi! Been married for more than a year. Wife is struggling emotionally and is going to therapy every now and then. She also has hyperthyroidism. I tried to understand her whenever she loses it and lashes out at me and blames me why she has to go throu... View more

Hi! Been married for more than a year. Wife is struggling emotionally and is going to therapy every now and then. She also has hyperthyroidism. I tried to understand her whenever she loses it and lashes out at me and blames me why she has to go through with anxiety and depression. And just a few hours ago, she blamed me why some people at her workplace is talking shit about her. She said that I’m not protecting her because people will not be doing that to her if they know I will defend her. Day and night, I’m listening to all her share her thoughts. Whether we’re driving, eating, watching or even before we go to sleep. Am I wrong for telling her that why is my fault that there are people like them at her work?

_Gigi_ Tired of Peacekeeping
  • replies: 7

My family constantly argues. We live together, so it's inescapable. I'm the peacekeeper who gets along with everyone, but it's a lot to handle. I'm so worn out from the stress and the nightmares and the loneliness. What should I do?

My family constantly argues. We live together, so it's inescapable. I'm the peacekeeper who gets along with everyone, but it's a lot to handle. I'm so worn out from the stress and the nightmares and the loneliness. What should I do?

Trudy Is this my life?
  • replies: 3

I am so lost.I have been married for 20 +years and I have never actually been seen. Like really seen.If I am not the support, the cleaner the cook,the mum, the good wife, he does not see me.I can't say how I feel or show how I feel, I am basically to... View more

I am so lost.I have been married for 20 +years and I have never actually been seen. Like really seen.If I am not the support, the cleaner the cook,the mum, the good wife, he does not see me.I can't say how I feel or show how I feel, I am basically told I am a terrible person. I am expected to smile through hurtful comments, betrayal,empty promises, lies and so much more. If I voice my feelings it is twisted and I feel worse for saying how I feel.I feel like I am alive but not actually living. I am literally a human robot.I have so much built up hurt inside and 2 nights ago I tried to explain and I should have known better as I ended up being the one apologising for causing issues and I was left feeling unvalidated and unseen again.I don't know if this will ever change or if some people are just meant to grieve a life, love and respect that they know they will never have.I have never gossiped or said anything negative about my husband to anyone, he is the father of my children and I won't do this but I constantly find him dismissing me and mocking me with his family.I have endured this for most of my life with him and it was easier to brush off when the children were babies because life was just so busy.The older and more independent they get, the worse I feel. There are less distractions and I am faced with rejection, ridicule, and all these feelings I am expected to hide. I am truly alone.Recently I tried to explain how something he did made me feel, I was shouted and given the silent treatment and then there was a family emergency and I tried to discuss it with him and the week of silent treatment and I was told that I don't care, I am not thinking about the emergency situation, just thinking about discussing how I feel.It had me questioning if I am an awful person.To be honest I don't think I don't care, I just think I have so much hurt and resentment built up in me over the years, I am just numb. It is so hard constantly showing up for someone and respecting someone and validating their feelings, who never does the same for me. Are some people just meant to do life like this, just keep giving of yourself with nothing in return.How do I keep doing this? How do I keep smiling through the hurt, betrayal, rejection, years of empty promises and lies?I don't know what I am seeking by putting this all down in words.

tt_m too much for people around me + any tips?
  • replies: 1

The only support people I have in my life are my partner and my mum. I frequently have really bad panic attacks and usually I would call my partner to help me or go stay at their place, even at really late hours like 1-2am. I have been in this relati... View more

The only support people I have in my life are my partner and my mum. I frequently have really bad panic attacks and usually I would call my partner to help me or go stay at their place, even at really late hours like 1-2am. I have been in this relationship for coming on 4 years now. I have diagnosed depression and anxiety, ADHD and mild OCD and am taking prescribed mood stabilisers but sometimes it's just not enough. Recently, my partner has said that this pattern of behaviour from me which has been ongoing for the past few years is too much now, that I'm stressing them out and I can no longer go to them or call them when I am like this at weird hours of the night and I must deal with it in some other way. They said that they wish I was more like their friends. I know that my partner's emotions are totally valid and I should just accept it, I am feeling very rejected right now. These panic attacks are mostly because I just have so many feelings and I have no one to talk to them about. I don't feel comfortable talking with my friends about my erratic behaviour and thoughts and I only talk to them a couple times a month. My partner telling me this is also combined with the fact they are hanging out so much with their friends and are in stable friendships where they talk to people every night and go out with them regularly makes me feel so much worse since we have been seeing each other less and they told me calling was too stressful for them. Now I feel as if I'm the one who is initiating conversation, and asking how their day is and I don't get anything in return. I feel like a horrible burden and feel really bad that our relationship has hinged on me being annoying and putting them into a caregiver role when they are just trying to live a normal life. I don't know what to do at this point, I love them and want to have a beautiful relationship where we are happy. Whenever I try to talk to my mum, she just tells me I need to organise therapy for myself and that she is exhausted by being my caregiver. I function pretty normally in everyday life, so getting someone to care for me would be pretty useless. I am strapped for cash at the moment, and can't afford to see my regular psychologist weekly, and i am so discombobulated that i would find it really challenging to organise my own therapy and find motivation to go. I wish I had friends I could speak to regularly and I wish I had more people than my mum and my partner, who I am too much for. Everything is really overwhelming. I was wondering if anyone has any tips on making friends with the intention of talking about my feelings regularly and how to build a broader support network? Or being able to find accessible therapy and deal with the process of actually seeking it + admin (this kind of stuff, reaching out, emailing, etc. can feel really overwhelming). I really appreciate any responses. Thank you for reading, Tia.

RS2025 A lot going on
  • replies: 1

I am struggling. My girlfriend is pregnant, we live together and are mature aged.She's from overseas and all her family and support is back in her country. She has lived in Australia about 5 years. She has always wanted a baby, I was unsure but our r... View more

I am struggling. My girlfriend is pregnant, we live together and are mature aged.She's from overseas and all her family and support is back in her country. She has lived in Australia about 5 years. She has always wanted a baby, I was unsure but our relationship built up strong and I changed my mind. She has got depression through her pregnancy, she is struggling to sleep, regularly feeling down. She has got a mental health care plan and will go and see someone when she can get in.Through our pregnancy, I have been extremely supportive. I have gone to every appointment, I have changed a lot, we go for walks after work together, been doing a lot more of the cooking, housework, trying to make things as easy for her as I can. I have tried to change my lifestyle, I used to stay up late and I have more regularly gone to bed early to spend time with her. She wanted a massage each night before sleep and I obliged most nights. Recently though I feel more like I am being pushed away. I feel she is absorbed with her and pregnancy while our relationship (and me) doesn't get any attention. I can't do the right thing, I do 9 things right but then she finds the 1 little thing I miss and I am a bad person. She has been a bit mean to me, had arguments with me about little things even when she knows she is wrong, continues anyway. It's really hard for me because I feel everything that she wants/asks for I am there to help out and it is getting thrown back into my face.She will be emotional and push me away, then get upset because that is apparently a sign she wants me close and to hug her - But I don't feel like I want to hug because I am pushed away. I have lost emotional connection, we used to cuddle in bed, now there is a giant pregnancy pillow between us, I did go to the other side of the bed and cuddle her a few times and it was nice, but now I don't really care. I feel undervalued and she doesn't really come to me for any emotional stuff to make me feel loved. I have talked to her about some of these things but nothing has really changed. I really don't know what to do, I am wondering if it is best to let her go back to her country -I feel no matter how much I do, I can't do the right thing anyway and her family support is something I can't provide. I love her enough to sacrifice myself for her wellbeing.The huge downside is, it would be goodbye and I won't get to be part of the pregnancy or my baby's life.I am a student so can't afford my own place.

becci Letting go
  • replies: 6

Hi I’m new here, would like to share my situation to see if anyone else out there is in a similar place. I’m having trouble letting go of my 20 yr old daughter that stills lives at home( most of the time) she is my 1st born hence I have a very strong... View more

Hi I’m new here, would like to share my situation to see if anyone else out there is in a similar place. I’m having trouble letting go of my 20 yr old daughter that stills lives at home( most of the time) she is my 1st born hence I have a very strong bond with her. She has met a man 23 years older than her. This man has already had a previous wife and child. He is manipulative and has a DV. We have lectured her over and over. She knows we do not approve of this relationship and will never meet this man. She says she knows it is a toxic relationship but stills goes to him every day. I feel like I am watching her drowning but can’t help her. I’m am so sad all the time, I try to bite my tongue when she does come home or else I end up arguing with her and I feel she will eventually choose him. Her younger sister is at home and is also watching this all unfold, constant family arguments over this stupid man. I really don’t know how to just “ let her go”. Would really appreciate any advice out there.

KMR separation
  • replies: 5

I am in the early stages of separation and I am really not coping at all. right now I just don't think I can continue

I am in the early stages of separation and I am really not coping at all. right now I just don't think I can continue

Chris16 Caught in the middle
  • replies: 1

My sister had a relationship with a man many decades ago, there is a child involved. They both went their separate ways and had no contact at all. The man did not see the child or give financial support. Some years ago she tried to contact him, only ... View more

My sister had a relationship with a man many decades ago, there is a child involved. They both went their separate ways and had no contact at all. The man did not see the child or give financial support. Some years ago she tried to contact him, only for his wife to explain that he had passed away and that he was trying to locate her. The wife did not explain why and my sister ended the conversation.As my sister was very ill in hospital, she asked me to contact her ex partners wife and ask why this man was trying to contact. I have written to her and no response, I have texted her no response. I now feel if I ring her, I will be accused of stalking. Do I just accept that she does not want to discuss it. How do I proceed now? I feel caught in the middle and it is very trying.

Nix After being hospitalised I was cut off from my younger sister that I practically raised
  • replies: 1

As the title says, I was hospitalised in august of 2023 for a mental health crisis and when I got out my mother cut me off from my sister that I practically raised because my mother is unfit on the best of days.I don't know what to do. It has been al... View more

As the title says, I was hospitalised in august of 2023 for a mental health crisis and when I got out my mother cut me off from my sister that I practically raised because my mother is unfit on the best of days.I don't know what to do. It has been almost two years and I still feel this grief like it was yesterday. She's the best thing in this world to me and is graduating primary this year and I won't be able to see her. She means more to me than anything and It breaks my heart two years on that I can she her smiling up at me or hugging me tight or saying that she loves me. She the best thing that my mother ever did and I'm scared that without me there she's going to break my sister like she did me. I want to fight for custody but I'm scared that I'll have no grounds. I don't even have a place to live as I've been couch surfing since my hospitalisation. I couldn't get her back even if I wanted to. Just... How to you deal with the loss of a family member, who's like a daughter, when she's still alive and out there?