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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Once_bitten__twice_shy Here comes the rollercoaster...
  • replies: 1

Hmm where do I start? I'm sitting here at nearly 1am unable to sleep yet again. After 18 years and 2 children, my partner told me that he didn't love me amymore and wanted to leave. Cue rollercoaster of emotions number 1. Telling the kids, trying to ... View more

Hmm where do I start? I'm sitting here at nearly 1am unable to sleep yet again. After 18 years and 2 children, my partner told me that he didn't love me amymore and wanted to leave. Cue rollercoaster of emotions number 1. Telling the kids, trying to work, rejection, fear, loneliness, anger and I'm sure many others. Partner comes to me after 3 months and says he has made a terrible mistake. So without me truly thinking this through, I agree. After all, it would stop all of these awful emotions I was experiencing and we would be a happy family again. This went alright for 2 years until today when I find out he is cheating on me. Cue rollercoaster of emotions number 2 and all I can think is how the hell did I get here again? And the scariest part is that I know what is coming and it isn't the worst of it yet. I know I am strong and I know I will get through this maybe but all I can think is that I don't want this .

Canopygod Totally lost on a couple of issues....
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have no idea on where to start on my messy situation, but I’ll try my best... My ex and I have broken up 18 months ago, I have since met this absolutely wonderful lady on tinder. She, at first was the most loving person I have ever met. She... View more

Hi all, I have no idea on where to start on my messy situation, but I’ll try my best... My ex and I have broken up 18 months ago, I have since met this absolutely wonderful lady on tinder. She, at first was the most loving person I have ever met. She was definitely the one I could spend the rest of my life with, even the sex was amazing and non stop. I am now living with her. In the past 3 weeks, most things on her behalf have stopped. She still tells me occasionally that she loves me, but that’s it. I have since found out she is texting her ex and has met him at her work. She says they are still friends. On top of all this, we are dealing with my ex, who is living in my house and I am not allowed back there as she has put a DVO on me, yet I never hit her, cause I threatened to turn the power off(in my name) she felt intimidated. The lies she is telling the police is unbelievable. I was escorted off my own place by Police. We were together for 7 years. Everything is 100% in my name,as she had always wanted. She has never paid a cent for anything, all she paid for was the groceries. Now, the solicitor’s are loving me and she just sits there for free. She is not willing to cooperate in any way. I have been told that she now wants to get back at me.

Loco23 Brother moved out of home and I did not anticipate I'd be devastated.
  • replies: 3

Me and my older brother have been living at home and he just recently moved out to live with his fiancé. When he first told he was moving out, I didn't feel anything straight away but as the hours and days went by I started feeling really really sad.... View more

Me and my older brother have been living at home and he just recently moved out to live with his fiancé. When he first told he was moving out, I didn't feel anything straight away but as the hours and days went by I started feeling really really sad. We've never really hanged out as brothers, he really is someone who dedicates all his free time to his fiancé and has little time for anything else. I can't help but shake the feeling that I won't be seeing much of him anymore... And I hate that. Every time I see his empty room now I feel like crying. My mind seems to be flashing back to memories of me and him in primary school, high school together or kicking a ball in a park when we were kids. As adults, we've never hanged out together and been 'friends' but god damn the feeling that he's my 'big brother' is really strong right now. I know he has to move on and become independent now but I'm sad I'm losing him, I'm angry we can't be kids again.

Sdmara Can separated couples reconcile?
  • replies: 2

Been seperated 5 years in Oct. Throughout this time we tried to reconcile but it doesn't seem to work. I try to meet his needs but he doesn't make any efforts. Repeatedly tells me he wants to try but only does what he wants without factoring how it m... View more

Been seperated 5 years in Oct. Throughout this time we tried to reconcile but it doesn't seem to work. I try to meet his needs but he doesn't make any efforts. Repeatedly tells me he wants to try but only does what he wants without factoring how it makes me feel. He is aware cause we discussed it in counselling but he says he tries but I am never happy. I just feel worthless and hurt and guilty and I don't know what to do. I became a doormat waiting for his efforts to make this work. He doesn't then I react....then the blame me for reacting. I am tired of this. I ask for divorce he says he doesn't want it. He wants to find a way to make it work. Yet years passed but we are worse than ever. The more this happens the more sensitive I am becoming the more irrational the more needy. I hate this with a passion. Then I get scared. Scared of what happens next. I have no family here in Australia. Friends are few and all married so they are all busy with families. Every birthday holiday or special event I am on my own. Kids are grown up and teenagers want to live their lives. If I return to Europe then I am abandoning them. I feel suffocating and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. People say it will get better. Will it?? How?? The thought of meeting someone else makes me sick...going through the emotions again. I can't do it.

SpanishSahara Girlfriend broke up with me due to her mental health - struggling to deal with it
  • replies: 3

Hi, first time posting here, please try to be understanding. So my gf recently broke up with me because she said she needed to seriously address her mental health (which is plagued from an emotionally abusive past relationship) and, although she stil... View more

Hi, first time posting here, please try to be understanding. So my gf recently broke up with me because she said she needed to seriously address her mental health (which is plagued from an emotionally abusive past relationship) and, although she still had feelings for me, she couldn't do that and be with me at the same time. These past few weeks and even beyond she has been distant, aloof, moody. I respect her decision, she has to do what's best for her. But I am struggling to accept that we're over. We have been best friends since 2013, we got together in Nov 2018 and my life feels incomplete without her to talk to, hang out with, be with, etc. I have told her I love her, I don't want anyone else and that I would wait for her, regardless of how long it took for her to feel that she was in a better place. I acknowledge this is almost certainly a bad idea - a person's recovery doesn't have a deadline - but I honestly thought she was the one. I am getting by, still seeing friends/doing hobbies and stuff, but everything feels like something is missing. The world has less colour. I keep wanting to talk to her but I know that won't make me feel better. I keep thinking of everything I did and didn't do these past few months and whether if i had/hadn't done them, she wouldn't have broken up with me. I'm terrified she'll get a better handle on her mental health and not want to get back together. I've talked to a few close friends about it, and they've all more or less said that I need to move on, properly, and not pine over her or be resistant to new opportunities. But that's easier said than done. I'm not ready to say goodbye to this relationship. I definitely won't pressure her, make her feel bad about her decision, or anything like that. But that's honestly how I feel. I don't expect anyone to tell me what I'm doing is completely correct, but I think it's best to be clear. Has anybody been through something like this? How did you deal with it? And what would you do in my shoes?

Oceanbug Confused about what to do bf wise
  • replies: 1

For the last 6 weeks my bf of 2.5yrs has stopped showing me affection. When i asked what was wrong he said that nothing makes him happy anymore. One minute he is happy and want a to be around me and then next he wants to be alone. But he hasnt change... View more

For the last 6 weeks my bf of 2.5yrs has stopped showing me affection. When i asked what was wrong he said that nothing makes him happy anymore. One minute he is happy and want a to be around me and then next he wants to be alone. But he hasnt changed towards his friends, he does more things with them and barely wants to do anything with me. But yet tells me that it's not me, that it's him but he doesn't know what is wrong. He still wants to have sex every now and then and during its like nothing changed. He is into it and tells me I'm sexy and treats me like a million bucks. But after it's over it's back to how it has been, loveless almost. I've given him space by going away for 4 days and letting him be the one to make contact with me, which he did and even rang me unexpected to have a chat. I've been taking a step back and just being there when he wants/ needs me but obviously sometimes it gets the better of me. He does not enjoy work atm and it is a very sore subject, so I try to avoid it. I have been staying positive and not getting upset with him seeing it and just showing I'm happy but it isn't changing. The last time we had problems he called it quits but this time he isn't. I'm not sure if he cnt bring himself to do it or he doesn't want it to end

Lostnalone19 Struggling with seperation
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I don't know where to start.. So my partner and I met 3 years ago and from the first moment we fell in love fast and hard we both wanted each other bad 24/7. I deal with low self-esteem and never felt worthy enough for her when infact I shoul... View more

Hi all, I don't know where to start.. So my partner and I met 3 years ago and from the first moment we fell in love fast and hard we both wanted each other bad 24/7. I deal with low self-esteem and never felt worthy enough for her when infact I should have she is an amazing person and has alot of love to give and she gave me all she had, I fell into a hole and it's a daily struggle as I suffer from depression, anxiety, stress, jealousy, and very insecure. The last 6 months I hadn't had a job which caused alot of stress on her. Constantly had my head in my phone looking for work trying to find something that would bring in the big dollars but yet have a home life, let me tell you it doesn't exist. I should of been content and happy with what I had and enjoy the finer things in life. Long story short she broke it off with me. We still talk occasionally n the phone it's hard because I want another chance to prove my worth as I've learnt and see where and what I've done and didn't do which I can fix to create the life we wanted. She says she loves me but not like she used to. My mind is telling me to just give up and move on but my heart says keep on fighting, but I'm not sure how long I can fight. She says that she feels the same way. But she said things need to change and I'm prepared to do what it takes but worried I'm going to lose. It's been hard for her the last few months seeing me sloth on the couch day in day out while she basically done everything which is totally not me in the early days I done lots of cleaning cooking etc but just found myself in a rutt where I thought is was impossible to get through I gave up on myself and my life and this has made me realise that I have so much to offer and want to reconcile with her as she is the love of my life. But I think it might be little to late to fix I just don't know. All I know is that if she was to give me another chance she definitely wouldn't regret it Sorry to bore you all with my problems but just want to see if anyone can give me any advice or shine a light on it abit more . Thanks.

JonathanP I can't stop crying today...
  • replies: 13

I’m 68 and have been with my ex-fiancée since 1980. We were both divorcees and the first thing we said to each other was “Ain’t never going to get married again!” We married in 1984. My wife is a bit of a control freak; mostly fine by me. I refer to ... View more

I’m 68 and have been with my ex-fiancée since 1980. We were both divorcees and the first thing we said to each other was “Ain’t never going to get married again!” We married in 1984. My wife is a bit of a control freak; mostly fine by me. I refer to her as She Who Must Be Obeyed (SWMBO). People ask me how come we’ve managed to stay happily married for 35 years and I respond “Just find someone worth obeying and do so.” When we first met SWMBO told me how she used to cheat on her husband and race home at lunch-times to have sex with other men. Rather offputting, I found this exciting and adventurous. I have a healthy appetite for sex and thought we might have an interesting sex life together. At first it was. We were in lust. Gradually though SWMBO diminished the amount of sex I am allowed and it trickled down to nil about a decade ago. It’s not just sex; I crave affection. I really like to be hugged. I can only have a (brief) hug from SWMBO if I ask. She says she doesn’t spontaneously hug me as I always take it as an invitation for sex. When the spontaneous hug from someone who inspires lust only happens twice a year... During the last crisis I persuaded her that we should go to marriage counselling. The marriage councillor told us there was nothing wrong with our marriage and we should be grateful for what we had. SWMBO says she doesn’t want sex because she doesn’t enjoy it. When tasked with my observation she says she doesn’t enjoy it. I am partially crippled; I have a chronic lower back problem. For a couple of years I was incapable of sex, but have gained control of my chronic health problems and my libido returned. Being crippled means I don’t get out much. I live in a rural area and my closest friends are dead. I am a gourmet home cook and invites to my dinner table is deemed a privilege I’m told. On Saturday I was expecting two friends as dinner guests. SWMBO was to confirm the time as she has a busy social life. She didn’t tell me until the meal was in an advanced state of preparation that she hadn’t bothered to let our friends know it wasn’t happening. I try to explain how I feel, but she misinterprets what I say.

Starfruiit I can’t cope with the abuse anymore
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Hi everyone, I’m new to this and I don’t really feel comfortable talking to friends and family due to feeling ashamed and worthless but I’m in a abuse relationship and don’t know where to turn. The verbal abuse started basically at the start of our r... View more

Hi everyone, I’m new to this and I don’t really feel comfortable talking to friends and family due to feeling ashamed and worthless but I’m in a abuse relationship and don’t know where to turn. The verbal abuse started basically at the start of our relationship but now over the past couple of months it’s turned into physical abuse as well. The abuse got so bad tonight over me trying to explain to him calmly that I had been feeling upset all day and that he just brushed it off called me a child and said I have to deal with it myself which I then proceeded to say but how come you can’t just be there for me and then he lost it saying I was keeping him from sleeping with my stupid problems and hurled insults and profanities at me and eventually he got physically abusive. This whole time I just let it happen and I apologised and pleaded with him to stop but he just kept telling me how horrible I was and that I was selfish and that no one would want to be in a relationship with me and put up with me. Im at the point where my self esteem is so low that I have no good things to say about myself, I hate looking at myself in the mirror because all I see is a ugly flawed person. I can’t even talk to him about problems I’m having because he just says that he doesn’t know how to help and that he’s sick of me being depressed and mopey. He tells me that he will change and he loves me and cares about me and I want to believe him that he will stop the abusive behaviour because I love him and always see the best in him but as soon as I do something small or I don’t act accordingly he treats me like I’m the worst person in the word I don’t know what to do anymore

Brain_Fart Family member has thrown out my meds
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My sister has taken my anxiety meds and will not give me them back because she doesn't believe i need them. I turned my house upside down stressed out about i had put them some where but can't remember where and was worried my son might find them or ... View more

My sister has taken my anxiety meds and will not give me them back because she doesn't believe i need them. I turned my house upside down stressed out about i had put them some where but can't remember where and was worried my son might find them or my nephew. I finally went and asked her and she had taken them because she thinks i don't need them and that to just put up with the anxiety/panic attack now I'm feeling anxious about going to see my doctor and asking for another script that i just got a few days ago. my head hurts from thinking about it. Why can't people just mind there own business.