Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Booklover17 Please help - I need advice
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone So 2 nights ago my husband just told me that I make him feel like he can’t be himself around me because he is scared of my emotional reaction. I should say I do have anxiety so sometimes my reactions can be huge. Anyway, now I feel like a... View more

Hi everyone So 2 nights ago my husband just told me that I make him feel like he can’t be himself around me because he is scared of my emotional reaction. I should say I do have anxiety so sometimes my reactions can be huge. Anyway, now I feel like a complete psycho and I feel so bad and so upset and hurt. I had no idea he was feeling this way- everyday I have just trying to deal with my own anxiety and make it through the day and now he says (he didn’t use these words) but basically that I am a b****. I don’t know what to do anymore. What can I do?

ssvv24 Overweight boyfriend?
  • replies: 6

My boyfriend has gained 10+kg since being with me. Now his BMI says that he’s overweight and yet he doesn’t do anything to lose it. I feel upset bcos I feel as though he’s become complacent and entitled, that’s why he’s not motivated at all to at lea... View more

My boyfriend has gained 10+kg since being with me. Now his BMI says that he’s overweight and yet he doesn’t do anything to lose it. I feel upset bcos I feel as though he’s become complacent and entitled, that’s why he’s not motivated at all to at least watch what he eats. I rly think he’s let loose and I feel like it’s unfair because I always dress my best and watch what I eat but all he does is wear sweatpants when we’re out, play games and binge eat. He even shrugs off the comments friends make on his appearance due to weight gain. I know I sound shallow but I just wish he’d at least be mindful of how much he’s eating. I’m not sure how I can bring this up anymore. I don’t want to be the nagging gf who says “watch what you eat “and “we should exercise together”.

Gluey A potential cheating scare has left me unable to trust my new boyfriend whom I adore
  • replies: 3

Before i start, I have no idea if any of these things are red flags since I'm 19 so bare with my story. For some context, I (19) have been with my boyfriend (21) for just over a month, but we hadn't been seeing each other for very long (about a week)... View more

Before i start, I have no idea if any of these things are red flags since I'm 19 so bare with my story. For some context, I (19) have been with my boyfriend (21) for just over a month, but we hadn't been seeing each other for very long (about a week) before he asked me to be with him exclusively. He also confessed to falling in love with me within two weeks of knowing me (weird or not??). I returned the gesture a little bit later. It didn't take long for me to get attached as he's a great guy who loves making sure I'm happy and getting what I deserve from him. He is a bit of a jokester who likes teasing but i enjoy his humour as its similar to my own. He's extremely supportive when I'm upset about life and never pressures me to tell him anything I'm not comfortable with yet. We've spent more nights together than apart since he loves having me around all the time at his place, he's even told me multiple times that i should just move in or move more of my stuff there so i don't have to go back and forth. From what I've gathered, he's been in one long term relationship 2 years ago with a girl who abused him a lot and slept around a lot with random girls when he was single. About a week or two in, I tried stalking him on social media where I found another girl he dated for 6 monthish that he never mentioned. When I asked he told me she was "just some girl he was seeing" and that he didn't even know his instagram account was still accessible since he thought he deleted it... he promptly made sure it was deleted for real afterwards. He doesn't use fb either since its old and he hasn't noticed my friend request. His roommate is an old friend that I haven't been able to get along with due to his drunken behaviour (pulled a prank that crossed a line at one point) and I can't tell if he accepts me or is ok with me living at their place all the time. Under a week ago I found another girls bra on the floor amongst a whole heap of other shit. When I approached him about it he seemed genuinely confused and told me he had no idea what it is or who it belonged to and that he's genuinely sorry that this has hurt me (he apparently was cheated on by the ex long term girlfriend). His reaction and the fact that he was sick that week (I was with him while sick too) make me believe him but whenever I'm alone I find myself worrying about where he is or if he is lying to me. My theory is his roommate planted it. Im not sure what is going on in my head or if I should believe him.

Lizer Trust your partner
  • replies: 2

Hi guys just wondering how to trust your partner / husband after he’s been cheating on you with prostitues and short term affairs . please help don’t know what to do

Hi guys just wondering how to trust your partner / husband after he’s been cheating on you with prostitues and short term affairs . please help don’t know what to do

So_Lonely Never alone always lonely
  • replies: 6

I have never felt so alone and worthless in my life. Almost 40 with 4 kids 18,14 and two year old twins. I have no friends in this place I have called my home for 6 years. My parents live 45 minutes away and have watched the twins for me twice for 12... View more

I have never felt so alone and worthless in my life. Almost 40 with 4 kids 18,14 and two year old twins. I have no friends in this place I have called my home for 6 years. My parents live 45 minutes away and have watched the twins for me twice for 12 hours. My 18 year old is supportive at times but lazy. My 14 year old plugs into his game and back chats me constantly. My almost 2 year old twin boys don't sleep and when they do I am cooking, cleaning, mowing lawns or doing stuff for the teenagers. I am always going on 4 to 5 hours sleep with people wanting and needing me constantly. So why is it i cry myself to sleep every night wondering why no one is here for me?

Sdmara Words say one thing actions opposite
  • replies: 1

Feel like I am loosing sense of what's real or not. His words says he wants to make the marriage work but the repeated hurtful behaviour still happens. Things are getting worse every day as if I mention anything he would say I zoned out cause I heard... View more

Feel like I am loosing sense of what's real or not. His words says he wants to make the marriage work but the repeated hurtful behaviour still happens. Things are getting worse every day as if I mention anything he would say I zoned out cause I heard it too many times. Then of course blames me cause I am the readon he gets angry and says hurtful things. If I know when to stop things would be ok.i don't know. I just don't know. Feel worthless and no joy anymore.

GilmoreGirl14 Narcissistic parents bringing me to depression.
  • replies: 2

Hi, this is my first post. But nervous and scared about this and not sure where to start. I’m 28, I have a 16 month old son and When I found out I was pregnant my sons father wanted nothing to do with me (together for 3 years) so moved back in with m... View more

Hi, this is my first post. But nervous and scared about this and not sure where to start. I’m 28, I have a 16 month old son and When I found out I was pregnant my sons father wanted nothing to do with me (together for 3 years) so moved back in with my parents, but my parents are treating me like I’m dumb when it comes to my parenting and looking after my son. My mum looks after him when I go to work 3 and a half days a week, I don’t get any financial support off my ex. So I have to work to support my son. No matter what I do I can never impress them or keep them happy. They speak down to me and about me, I’ve met an amazing man 8 months ago and he loves me and my son so much. But my step dad told me that he and my mum are praying that our relationship breaks down as my boyfriend is ‘moody’ and ‘grumpy’ among other stuff. The problem with him being moody and grumpy etc is the way the call me a ‘disgrace’ because I forgot to buy my sons formula one day. Telling me they always do everything for him, when they don’t, 99% of the times I do it. They do occasionally help. Down to cleaning his bottles, I took the sides off his cot as he doesn’t sleep well with the side on and that was a week long argument calling me stupid and i shouldn’t give him a choice. But they go against everything I say as a parent even down to his dinner I make him. Gosh even his name I didn’t pick. I honestly don’t really like his name as I had one picked out from the moment I found out I was pregnant. But anyway. I feel belittled and degraded as a human being and a mother. My partner will say something nice about me and mum just laughs and looks at him like he’s crazy. He’s had a vasectomy 2 years ago (2 kids already) and my step dad has had it out for him telling me that if I stay with him I’ll never have anymore kids and he doesn’t want ‘that type of man’ around his grandson. There’s a 6 year age gap so it’s not that big. He has a good job and works hard, has had 3 nights out in 8 months, doesn’t do drugs and I am the same, don’t have much a life outside of work or baby. There’s so much more stuff they’ve done and said and it gives me worse anxiety than I should. I don’t know what to do my parents think I’m a shitty parent and hate my partner who I love. I have much more stuff to say but can’t get it out, I’m trying but it is ‘blocked’. I need to vent and I really need advice. Im being told all the time they speak to me the way they do is because I don’t do it their way.

T40 Grumpy me
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am 45 years old women, have a good job and loving husband. I am soo serious that everything my husband says I judge. I feel either he is teasing, disrespectful or mocking. My husband is very direct and has good sense of humor but I am short tem... View more

Hi, I am 45 years old women, have a good job and loving husband. I am soo serious that everything my husband says I judge. I feel either he is teasing, disrespectful or mocking. My husband is very direct and has good sense of humor but I am short tempered and strike back immediately without even analyzing what he is saying. This is causing tension between us and has ruined many weekends. Every alternative Saturdays we argue and fight. I take everything personal and very serious. I dont know how I can learn to be more patient, friendly and easy going. I have tried meditation for sometime and only do few minutes few times a week. But I dont know if it's effective to change my short temper into bubbly, happy person? Need help please.

iamtrying constant hurt
  • replies: 1

hey anyone who sees this, i’m not really expecting anyone to reply or anything it’s just more of letting it out but i’d also love if people replied to this too! i have an alcoholic mum and she’s drunk 80-90% of the time, right now she’s drunk after a... View more

hey anyone who sees this, i’m not really expecting anyone to reply or anything it’s just more of letting it out but i’d also love if people replied to this too! i have an alcoholic mum and she’s drunk 80-90% of the time, right now she’s drunk after about 10-14 days of not drinking and it’s just annoying! every time she drinks she gets angry and abusive and sends me emotionally abusive messages and also calls me causing me emotional and psychological distress! it’s been like this for almost all my life (i’m 21) and i never paid much attention to it when i was younger but i have now that i’m older and it’s really taking its toll on me and affecting me even if i’m used to it! i don’t really know what to do and it’s just so hard because i don’t have friends to turn to or see or i do and they either live to far away or don’t message me when i need them so i just suck it up and deal with it! i’m just really tired of this and what my mums doing to me it affects me more every time it happens and i just don’t know what to do. i keep blocking and unblocking my mum and when she’s not drinking i fall back into her trap again and hate myself even more when things get bad again and i just don’t know what to do anymore. hopefully someone can relate to this or if not it’s okay and i just thank whoever actually bothered to read this! i hope that if anyone’s experiencing the same thing that you’re okay and remember it’s not your fault!!! thank you

LJM50 Left my husband, feel like I left the kids too.
  • replies: 1

A few months ago I left my husband. We met 15 years ago when I was a single mum. I didn't love him but we got on well so I hoped I would grow to love him. I didn't. He cooks most days and does the basics like washing and ironing. Over the last year a... View more

A few months ago I left my husband. We met 15 years ago when I was a single mum. I didn't love him but we got on well so I hoped I would grow to love him. I didn't. He cooks most days and does the basics like washing and ironing. Over the last year and a half I found myself getting annoyed and angry with him. So much so that my retorts became vicious and below the belt. I couldn't stop and my kids were witnessing this. I dreaded the weekends because he would start pawing all over me and I couldn't stand him touching me. His mannerisms annoy me and he has no friends. We live on a small property so I bought a self contained caravan and live in that. I see him everyday as we have 2 kids but I still get mad at him. When he goes away on business, I stay in the house. It is filthy and a mess. He picks our youngest up most days and buys her chocolate and junk food all the time. He never says no and buys here anything she wants even though I have already said no. Every afternoon I go to my van and am alone. I feel like I have left the kids. I am missing out and am lonely. The kids prefer him. I just couldn't live a lie any more. I don't want to be away from the kids but don't want to be with him. I have never been able to talk about things. We tried a marraige counsellor but I didn't like him and we just recapped what we had already discussed. I don't know how to do this. I am sick of the anger.