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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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That_Weird_Chic Always Feel Like a Disappointment to My Parent
  • replies: 5

Hey, I always try my hardest at the things I'm passionate about and want to do well in. At school I'm constantly trying to get through the next class. I enjoy it but it feels like there's something missing. I always feel like I could do better. I'm c... View more

Hey, I always try my hardest at the things I'm passionate about and want to do well in. At school I'm constantly trying to get through the next class. I enjoy it but it feels like there's something missing. I always feel like I could do better. I'm constantly studying or practicing my instruments or doing assignments. When I get home I do my homework and have some downtime. Then when my parents get home, they are yelling at me that jobs aren't done or that I haven't ridden my horse or some other reason. There is always something wrong. When I try and do the job I do it wrong or haven't done it well enough. I just feel like I am constantly letting down my parents. That I'm a constant disappointment. Even when I do something and I'm proud of myself or when I know I haven't done well, they keep on telling me what I can do better or what they'd do differently. I feel like I'm a constant disappointment. They treat me differently from my other siblings to. They're always nicer to them, more patient, more forgiving, more lenient. I wake up early then the others and I always hear my parents go to their rooms, knock quietly and tell them to wake up nicely but when they come to my room they slam my door open and half yell at me to get up. I'm the first one read for school waiting for the others. They take their time but whenever I'm running the tiniest bit late, they are yelling at me to hurry up. It's like a constant cycle. Everyday I feel like a disappointment to my parents. Never doing anything right. Never doing enough. Never doing the right thing. I just want to feel like my parents are proud. That they are proud to say that I am their child. That they are happy with who I am. That they feel like I am worthy to be their child. I just don't know how, or even why. I don't know that if I ever won't feel this way. Does anyone have any advice?

hanmnro He works a lot and I’m constantly lonely.
  • replies: 1

Hello all, My partner and I live together but don’t actually do much together. He works all weekend, and a few week split shifts. So we’ll get about 3 and a half days together through the week. When we are together we’ll just hang around the house be... View more

Hello all, My partner and I live together but don’t actually do much together. He works all weekend, and a few week split shifts. So we’ll get about 3 and a half days together through the week. When we are together we’ll just hang around the house because he’s so tired and that’s completely understandable!! But it’s very hard Here are my troubles.. 1. by doing things through the week we miss out on any chance to do family get togethers, friends party’s, any socialising basically. 2. I also don’t work because I have deep depression and anxiety, so even going to family things alone, I can’t do unless I’m just with my parents, as I’m an only child. I find it very hard to talk about myself, and I also have weight problems that affect my mental health. 3. He works so hard to keep a roof over our heads and I pay for bills and food. I am so thankful for all he does and I try to remind him of that each day. Unfortunately it means I’m left to do a lot around the house but I’m always tired and achy, due to my health. I try to do some things but it’s a real struggle. 4. We struggle with money, and it’s very stressful, we are looking to move somewhere cheaper, but power rates keep getting higher and bills are becoming more expensive. 5. Last but not least, I am SO lonely. I’m almost isolated from life, I don’t really have friends, and I never get invited to things. I can’t remember the last time someone asked if I wanted to do ex:cinema/food.. anything with them. The longer I don’t socialise, the more alien I feel, and I get awkward in social interactions.. it’s horrible, because I used to be so bubbly! I’m starting to resent my life and it’s becoming unbearable. if anyone has any advice on any of my problems, please help! Thank you in advance and bless you!

Guest4467 Unsure whether to cancel DVO
  • replies: 4

Hi, i have been struggling a lot since the break up of my partner who was my best friend and we did everything together. We lived together, exercised together, worked together. He was my true other half he told me he wanted to be single after we brok... View more

Hi, i have been struggling a lot since the break up of my partner who was my best friend and we did everything together. We lived together, exercised together, worked together. He was my true other half he told me he wanted to be single after we broke up, I found out already that he has moved on. It really really hurts. And we live in a small coastal town where running into each other is inevitable and I have seen him, but now I have to to worry about seeing them as a couple. Worst. anyway, he has been up to something in the last week cancelling my car insurance twice, saying it has been sold..(the car and policy in my name but somehow he could still access the policy) i went to the police bc I have had enough of his bullying tactics. I went to the police in May and they recommended I take out a dvo against him (death threats, emotional abuse) but I was so afraid of him I said no. Now I am so petrified of going to court that I just want to cancel the order. My hair is falling out, my skin condition has come back with a vengeance. I’m just wondering, is this even all worth it??? I have said some pretty nasty things to him as well. do I stick with it and the continued stress or just let it go?

bindi_ Need some advice please ?
  • replies: 2

my 9 year old son is compulsive liar to me even if i see him do it, he yells at me treats me like crap tells me im a bad mother because i send him to him room or i take all his privileges away from him. but he only does it when his father isn't aroun... View more

my 9 year old son is compulsive liar to me even if i see him do it, he yells at me treats me like crap tells me im a bad mother because i send him to him room or i take all his privileges away from him. but he only does it when his father isn't around. but when his father around he would be all nice and "ok" mum no worries do you need me to help "? i tell him just leave me alone im 6 months pregnant and totally stressed out. his constantly at me all the time eg 5 mins away dinner he asked me for an apple i said no you just had dinner he said to me well why have you been giving everyone apples over the last two weeks i said because it was the holidays and they are for school. the other kids had ice-cream he said he didn't want any. then i sat down and started eating my dinner while the kids were in the shower then he said i want ice-cream now , i did said no to him. then he starts yelling at me. I'm allowed to change my mind so on and so on. me and my partner did break up for 6 months because he kept lying to him about stuff that wasn't true. now i think im going down the same path again and i don't know what to do anymore. i ignore his behavior but my partner thinks im being so mean to him. he has no idea what he does to me when his not around. its extremely bad the worst behavior anyone could image but im over complaining to my partner to. i have tried my best i have 5 children. please can some one give me some advice. thanks

Scottb89 Loosing my gf i love for 7 years
  • replies: 1

Me and my partner been dating for long time she.js my everything i ever had and now i have no idea what i done wrong I treated her so good and loved her supported her care for her its seenms im loosing her to another guy she found

Me and my partner been dating for long time she.js my everything i ever had and now i have no idea what i done wrong I treated her so good and loved her supported her care for her its seenms im loosing her to another guy she found

MO95 Getting you partner to understand your illness
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone! bit of background: I have severe generalised anxiety, depression and stress. I have struggled with it for years and finally went and got started on some help. I have a fiancé, who I love so dearly, we have been together for 7years and ge... View more

Hi everyone! bit of background: I have severe generalised anxiety, depression and stress. I have struggled with it for years and finally went and got started on some help. I have a fiancé, who I love so dearly, we have been together for 7years and getting married very soon. He is supportive of me and he knows the extent of my mental health, but at times I can’t help but feel he doesn’t really ‘get it’. i understand how it may frustrate him at times, especially when my mental health gets in the way of my career, it frustrates me to. But I guess my question is, how do I get him to understand why I sometimes need days off even tho I appear “fine” and not “sick”. How do I get him to really understand what’s going on in my head and in my body when I have those days where I just can’t function. I just want him to understand that I’m not just being lazy or being ridiculous. i need him to understand, so that I can stop feeling worse about self on those days.

MannyOrtego Sister obsessed about my psychologist
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have been undergoing therapy with my psychologist for anxiety for a while, and just recently started doing exposure therapy. I had a massive anxiety flare up a few months ago, I realised now after calming down that a large part of it was due to... View more

Hi, I have been undergoing therapy with my psychologist for anxiety for a while, and just recently started doing exposure therapy. I had a massive anxiety flare up a few months ago, I realised now after calming down that a large part of it was due to my sister trying to control me and gaslight/trigger me(we are both adults). I cut off contact with my sister shortly after the flare up occurred. A couple of days ago she saw my car parked outside my psychologist's office and stuck a note on my windscreen. I saw it after my appointment and, I decided to go over to her house and say hi. Everything went fine until she started asking me about what I was doing at the psychologist. She started pushing me for information about which psychologist I was seeing, what I had told the psychologist, and whether I had told th psychologist anything about her. I basically told her that it was private and that I didn't want her knowing the things I spoke about. She started listing off the names of psychologists that work in that office, and asking "Is it person X? Is it person Y" and I kept telling her that I wasn't going to say. She said "You know I am going to find all this out anyway, right?" She is a nurse in a hospital and has previously been able to somehow look up some of my pathology results, even showing me the printed copy. So it worries me that she might somehow be able to access other things about me? Today, 2 days later, she messaged my brother and told him to answer a message she sent me. I had blocked her, but I thought maybe it was something important and so I unblocked her and asked what was up. She started questioning me again about names and details. I am a bit worried about this as she is not respecting my boundaries and keeps pushing it even after I have told her no. What should I do? Is it possible that she (a nurse) might be able to access any of my information from the hospital she works at? Sorry if some of this is hard tor read, I am writing it on mobile.

Ssangcham my gf and i are on a break and im pissed and mad and scared she will break up with me and forget about me
  • replies: 11

my gf of 8 months said she wanted a break but we still saw eachother after a week i told her i would rather not talk to you so your choice is to etiher get back with me now or ill just stop talking to you until you are ready or when i finish my year ... View more

my gf of 8 months said she wanted a break but we still saw eachother after a week i told her i would rather not talk to you so your choice is to etiher get back with me now or ill just stop talking to you until you are ready or when i finish my year 12. so cried and a lot of gave me all her affection and hugged me and held me tight and she told me yes eventhough im only able to see you once a week. back story is my gf and i saw eachother pretty often but due to our schedules and her parents not letting her go out on weekdays to go study at monash which is close for both of us so i can both see her and study at the same time. but it started to lower and we both really started to get stressed out and lost feelings. well after 2 days of getting back together again all her worries came back i did see her for both days but for one day i didnt see her she had these thoughts and i was so confused and annoyed. we have restrictions because we are different shes in uni and im in year 12 still. her parents dont let her go out, we dont have much money to go out a lot and do things that we would enjoy. she always paranoid of being caught which makes her unhappy when shes with me eventhough shes having fun. i told her lets stop talking for while because i was so mad. i still want her i still wanna fight for her eventhough she doubts she will she wont be scared of her parents founding out. what can i do what should i do i love her. but im also mad and depressed i cant stop crying and screaming internally. ive lost motivation of year 12 because of this. i cant let go of her because she was perfect until this happened. why is life so bad for me family problems, have a messed up knee, finnical problems mental problems please help me

ZJ When do you know it's time to leave
  • replies: 4

Hi, I have been with my partner for 6 years now we have 2 young children together. I feel I am ready to leave this relationship but I am scared of what the repercussions are going to be like for my children and myself. My partner for the most of it h... View more

Hi, I have been with my partner for 6 years now we have 2 young children together. I feel I am ready to leave this relationship but I am scared of what the repercussions are going to be like for my children and myself. My partner for the most of it has been a very supportive father and partner in a financial aspect and also emotionally to an extent, Although he does have a very big temper on him. He has pushed me slapped me and hit me multiple times although not recent the memories of it still imbedded in my mind that I allowed it to happen more then once and have forgiven him. I have had conversations with him in regards to the incidents and how sometime the way I shut off in arguments is because of the way arguments have previously ended with us. He keeps telling me that I am the one that chose to stay and forgive and I cant keep bringing the past up He has offered to talk about the past but I cant use it for an excuse as to how I act but I do not want to talk about that with him. I want to and when I asked to go to see a phycologist he told me I couldn't say anything about the past to them else they will take the kids off him and that's not what I want. I have tried to have this conversation of separating numerous times and somehow it gets turned around and I just can't stand my ground and I give in and we are pretending everything is fine. I honestly am so lost at where to start, what to do and who to talk to

whitefeather Road Tripping Australia yet struggling to leave family behind.
  • replies: 1

Hi, My hubby and I have finally decided to take our family of 6 for a road trip around Australia within the next 6- 18months. However, in order to do this, we are leaving behind the only family members we are in a relationship with - my mum (53 years... View more

Hi, My hubby and I have finally decided to take our family of 6 for a road trip around Australia within the next 6- 18months. However, in order to do this, we are leaving behind the only family members we are in a relationship with - my mum (53 years) and little sister (8 years). Our life has been an emotional roller coaster the past 9 years with having to step out of both our families dysfunctional dynamics and dealing with multiple marriages falling apart (including my own parents). My hubby and I have more or less put our lives on hold to help ourselves and my mum and little sister through this season and get healing for our broken hearts. We now feel that this season has come to an end and its time for us to move on. We don't to stay in our current home town and raise our family here, we want to move onto new land and build a new life and leave a new legacy for our kids and future grandkids. We want to travel in a caravan for 1 year first and explore our country while finding a new place to settle. However, we have to leave the only 2 people in our life who I know loves us so much, and are the only family we have that genuinely cares about us. I'm not to sure what to gain from sharing this, but I have battled with this sadness and brokenness and emptiness alone for a long time and I'm just at a point where I needed to reach out. If anyone has similar experiences or insight they can share, I would be very grateful for your words and time. xx