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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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JenG My partner has a porn addiction
  • replies: 3

I have just discovered that my boyfriend of 2 years has a porn addiction. My partner and I have only been dating around 2 years now, he’s the kind of person that I love with all my heart and I know he loves me too. We get along so well and it’s too d... View more

I have just discovered that my boyfriend of 2 years has a porn addiction. My partner and I have only been dating around 2 years now, he’s the kind of person that I love with all my heart and I know he loves me too. We get along so well and it’s too difficult to think of life without him in it - the person that I will marry. Our life is virtually perfect - except for the fact that we only have sex once every 2-3 weeks. This is something I’ve talked to him about before as I am always the one trying to initiate but he rejects… this HURTS. We’ve talked about it 4/5 times maybe but last night I snapped and told him to figure out why he doesn’t want to sleep with me and how it shouldn’t be so hard to have sex with the person you love. He finally admitted that he thinks he may have an addiction to porn and that because it’s affecting our relationship that he needs to figure it out. We’ve talked it through a bit but there’s so much I want to know and even more that I don’t. I obviously can’t turn to anyone I know, but I’m a deeply emotional person. He told me how awful it felt for him and that he can’t stop but I know it sounds bad - I don’t know if I can trust that. I’ve made so many ideas for our future and planned to have him in it, I mean it when I say he’s the love of my life but I need some support. I WANT to be able to handle this and help him but it’s hard. I have researched and I know the steps to recovery but I really need someone to tell me everything’s going to be okay. I need someone to tell me he’ll get better and that our future together isn’t going to crash and burn.Please tell me it works out for porn addicts and their relationships.

Guest_12727891 Marriage breakdown
  • replies: 1

The other week I asked my husband to get some medical help and he took it as me ending our marriage. He packed all my stuff up and I had to go live with my daughter , I feel I'm going crazy but there's no going back he has turned everything to be my ... View more

The other week I asked my husband to get some medical help and he took it as me ending our marriage. He packed all my stuff up and I had to go live with my daughter , I feel I'm going crazy but there's no going back he has turned everything to be my fault and now I'm suicidal

Guest_37600340 Insecure girlfriend
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am really struggling. My partner has been through such a hard time. She was in a relationship with an extremely controlling narcissist who was also violent. She has come out of this relationship and was struggling big time. But she is incredibl... View more

Hi, I am really struggling. My partner has been through such a hard time. She was in a relationship with an extremely controlling narcissist who was also violent. She has come out of this relationship and was struggling big time. But she is incredibly strong and resilient. She has two children to him and one of them has severe ASD, ADHD, PTSD and has extremely bad behaviour. He’s around the same age as my son but they are very different and I find myself struggling to put my son with him as I don’t want him to be exposed to those habits and behaviours. This alone has added a challenge to our relationship. She also has extreme insecurities where 1-3 times a month I get accused of something. Not once has it been something that I have done. But she will hear a story from a friend about their partner or her family or a reel on social media and this leads to accusations towards me. at the start I was handling it ok. But after 3 years I’m tired and constantly anxious and feeling like I am on egg shells. I’ve given her my phone password, social media account passwords and deleted anyone that she thought was a threat. I thought this might help her to feel better. It keeps coming. its really hard. If done research, I’ve listened to a ton of podcasts, we’ve seen a gynaecologist to see if it was hormonal. She is finally seeing a psychologist and so am I to see if I can improve anyway that I can and on things that I can do better in. I’m just exhausted and feeling helpless. thank you

SilvaLady Family
  • replies: 1

I have diabetes and mental health issues. Am taking medication for my diabetes, and am generally good diet. But my sister in law can be quite controlling about my diet. I know she is trying to help me, but it can be quite difficult at times and frust... View more

I have diabetes and mental health issues. Am taking medication for my diabetes, and am generally good diet. But my sister in law can be quite controlling about my diet. I know she is trying to help me, but it can be quite difficult at times and frustrating, am not how to deal with this issue.

beyond_confused Found my partners hidden Viagra and currently loosing my mind over it!
  • replies: 3

Has anyone ever found a secret stash their partners sexual enhancement pills in their partners cupboard? Did you ask them about it straight away or did you wait to see when the next time they used one to see if it was with you or someone else? I felt... View more

Has anyone ever found a secret stash their partners sexual enhancement pills in their partners cupboard? Did you ask them about it straight away or did you wait to see when the next time they used one to see if it was with you or someone else? I felt something was off yesterday so I searched for answers and I found them hidden, there's currently three pills missing and I'm loosing my mind as to what to do about it. Any tips or advice would be great... thank you!!!

Guest_27548865 Social
  • replies: 1

I think I am a very nice and approachable person. I have friends, but I never go out with them. I reach out from time to time, and if they ask for help, I always go above and beyond to help sort things out. My coworkers often ask me to go out with th... View more

I think I am a very nice and approachable person. I have friends, but I never go out with them. I reach out from time to time, and if they ask for help, I always go above and beyond to help sort things out. My coworkers often ask me to go out with them, but as much as I want to have deep connections with people, I always end up saying no. How should I connect with people? I really want to change but I don’t know where to start…

Guest_55359737 Please help me leave my marriage
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How do I leave? What is the process and what happens to the children? Especially when one parent is threatening to take them off the other. How can I make this split amicably?I am enduring abuse, emotionally and mentally. I need a therapist. But I am... View more

How do I leave? What is the process and what happens to the children? Especially when one parent is threatening to take them off the other. How can I make this split amicably?I am enduring abuse, emotionally and mentally. I need a therapist. But I am not sure what kind. I feel like I will just cry at them the entire time.What financial aid is available to single parents in NSW ? I earn an ok wage, but things are so expensive atm I feel financially stuck here.My husband is an angry person at the best of times. He blames me for everything, he berates me like a child. He claims he is a 'traditionalist' this just means that I, as the woman cleans and does everything. As well as work my 40+ hours a week job. I have many reasons I want to leave that i believe would be legit reasons anyone would leave. But I am worried that he will paint me as crazy. That is how he makes me feel. I am in desperate need for help. How did you do it?

Guest_00962104 I dont know what to do anymore.
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together almost 6 years. I love her so much, we have the same friends and she fits into my family so great. This past year my mental health has been extremely low due to a lot of factors. I have always been one to say “once... View more

My partner and I have been together almost 6 years. I love her so much, we have the same friends and she fits into my family so great. This past year my mental health has been extremely low due to a lot of factors. I have always been one to say “once a cheater always a cheater”, and I have never and thought that I would never be one to do such a thing. But I did. I felt disgusting, awful and full of guilt after and the guilt was just growing in me everyday, I couldnt bring myself to tell her. She found out by reading some old texts and it was absolutely heart breaking seeing the pain I have caused to her. We’ve talked about it and she wants to work on our relationship and so do I. I have taken full blame and responsibility for what I have done. Im in therapy currently but each day I feel as though Im about to break, I feel like im a bad person and I dont deserve the love she gives me. I feel like I cant breathe, I feel like Im being smothered and I just want to be alone. I dont want her to think I dont love her anymore, because I still do very much. We argue and fight and she brings it up all the time(I know, shes grieving and allowed to) I’ve lost myself, Im not independant, I dont see my friends(she didnt like me hanging out with other, even before I cheated) I just want to get myself right first and start loving me again so I can return the love for her that she deserves. Yet I feel that she thinks Im going to abandon her or break up or cheat on her again(I understand her feeling this way, because of what I did). I just want to fix me because I dont want us to end up hating eachother. Im just at a point where everything I do feels wrong. And I dont get joy in anything anymore. I want this relationship but I also want to be alone. I dont know what to do anymore. Also please dont come for me about cheating, I already feel low enough.

Phantom68 I just want to hide !
  • replies: 1

Hello. First timer and all the conversations running through my mind are so hard to type. Not sure where to start. Quite a few issues going on all at once. In my teens Family sexual interference. 1st real romance broke my heart age 17-22. New Marriag... View more

Hello. First timer and all the conversations running through my mind are so hard to type. Not sure where to start. Quite a few issues going on all at once. In my teens Family sexual interference. 1st real romance broke my heart age 17-22. New Marriage at 24 ended due to violence and unfaithful husband , divorced at 26.now in 2nd marriage Not sure how I feel about my 26 years, but still here after we did separate for 6months ….mourning 3 lost baby’s. We have 1 only child now 24 and 3 older step children. Only child now been chronic suicidal for 10yrs. I’m now drowning in my own guilt and self hate I don’t know what to do. I’m trying to hold down a full time job to help support us, through tough times. I now have found friendship in another man who 3 yrs ago said he would support me but as usual he has slower started to fade away. It’s almost like I’m a stranger again. My head is mash potato can’t think or concentrate at anytime if the day. Just on autopilot it seems. This all won’t make sense but at least I have got it out there. I’m just lost in my own head. not knowing how to deal with what’s next. All I want to do is hide

Guest_70028286 My mum might be a hypocrite
  • replies: 2

Hi, this is my first time using Beyond Blue so forgive me if I get something wrong. I have fights with my mum a lot because we're both super headstrong and stubborn. A lot of the time she'll do or say something to me that she can't stand me doing or ... View more

Hi, this is my first time using Beyond Blue so forgive me if I get something wrong. I have fights with my mum a lot because we're both super headstrong and stubborn. A lot of the time she'll do or say something to me that she can't stand me doing or saying to her, and it doesn't sit with me right. I tried bringing it up, asking how she would feel if I said that stuff to her etc, but she says that since I don't work full time and I'm still just a kid I have no idea what she goes through so it's ok for her to say that stuff. She might be right but it still doesn't make it ok and I can't talk to her about it without getting shut down. And respect should go both ways and everything. Thoughts?