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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Shyone Confused and alone
  • replies: 16

Hi, First time posting. I don't know why I am doing this, posting here because my mind is all over the place and it isn't going to come out clearly. The last 3ish weeks my husband of 25yrs (been together 29) has been sleeping in our van in our back y... View more

Hi, First time posting. I don't know why I am doing this, posting here because my mind is all over the place and it isn't going to come out clearly. The last 3ish weeks my husband of 25yrs (been together 29) has been sleeping in our van in our back yard. When I ask what is going on and why, in messages he tells me he is done and that we have been drifting apart and isn't sure if he wants to try anymore because he is empty inside, tired, sore and wants to be alone to sort himself out but then tells me if he really wanted to leave he would have and not stay in our van. I just wish I knew the truth of what has happened as I don't s to lose him. I am having trouble giving him space because I just want to be with him and sort this out. I have taken leave from my job as i wasn't coping or able to concentrate. We have 2 children. He comes in everyday, has coffee and dinner with us. I just don't know how much longer I can do this, it hurts so much. I am not allowed to cry because he can't handle it. We have a mortgage together and neither one of us can financially afford to carry it on our own. I have been looking at rentals to move out alone (disappear) but then that will distroy any chance of fixing things if we can. I don't have anyone to talk too. I don't have family or friends just him and our kids. I feel so alone, confused, lost and any other emotion possible at the moment with nowhere to turn. If it wasn't for our kids I probably wouldn't be here now. Like all relationships we have had our ups and downs. I suffer depression and anxiety and I think he does too, just won't get diagnosed. I do have trust issues as well so my insecurities are hightened at the moment too. Thanks for letting me babble if you got to the end.

Am123 No sex in long term relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm writing because I'm in a long term relationship ( 3 years ) and we don't have much sex anymore. It has been at least 3 months since the last time. We are both 25 and live together. At the start of our relationship, we used to do it multiple t... View more

Hi, I'm writing because I'm in a long term relationship ( 3 years ) and we don't have much sex anymore. It has been at least 3 months since the last time. We are both 25 and live together. At the start of our relationship, we used to do it multiple times a week, then it slowly went down to what it is now. I have brought up the topic with him, asking if there was an issue, what was the reason he didn't want to have sex as often anymore but the conversation never ends well and he always gets annoyed. He has said that he doesn't need to have that much sex, and he is fine like this. But I am not even asking for that much sex, just to meet me half way. The last time we had this conversation he said: "if it's so important to you then if you want just leave". I just don't know how to talk to him about it, without him getting mad. He never seems to see my point. I do not know what to do. I know he loves me and all, but I do not feel wanted, I do not feel 'sexy' anymore around him, it just feels like he doesn't care anymore.

Busymum I feel so angry right now......I don't know where its coming from.....
  • replies: 7

The last few weeks have been very difficult. My 15 year old son decided without communication that he is pretty much moving to his Dads. He is gradually moving more and more things to his Dads. He has never lived with his Dad, I've been the sole pare... View more

The last few weeks have been very difficult. My 15 year old son decided without communication that he is pretty much moving to his Dads. He is gradually moving more and more things to his Dads. He has never lived with his Dad, I've been the sole parent this whole time. I've asked my son to tell me what's going on but his responses change with each person he talks to so I don't really know what is happening. I'm feeling depressed, anxious and angry which I've seen my psychologist about and I am trying to work on. I'm trying hard to do what all the websites say - don't take it personally, it turns out this is very hard to do. So this has been happening and then I had a text message from a friend who was supposed to show up at my house for my daughter's birthday with no explanation and very short messages - I asked if I had upset her somehow but didn't get a very real response. She is going through some tough times also so I understand but I guess I feel rejected there and feel like one of my children is rejected which I know is not the case - she had a great day - but I FEEL rejected. Then not one of my family members or close friends text me or rang for her birthday - this happens every birthday and it hasn't really effected me before - except a little annoyance. Well this time I feel like every other kid in our family gets a message/present/card or something, yet my daughter doesn't. Then my husband and I had a major argument over him talking about the situation with my son in front of my son and saying things he shouldn't have. He just blurts it out and it doesn't matter how many times I ask him not to he continues to do it. Its inappropriate and not fair on either of us. To top it off, I'm not sleeping and now have body aches and stomach cramps. I'm so angry, I just want to leave everyone and be on my own. I can rely on myself and I don't have to worry about anyone else, I don't have to worry about anyone rejecting me or my kids. I feel like I have not one person in this whole world who loves me or cares about me. No-one loves me unconditionally. I always go out of my way for people and I only feel good about myself when I'm doing this. I like doing it and I don't ever expect it in return nor do I ask for it. I genuinely don't feel like it needs to be "tit for tat". But when everyone you know only contacts you because they want something from you and not any other time - it just makes me feel completely rejected.

Diddle28 Overwhelmed and feeling alone
  • replies: 3

I have been feeling so overwhelmed and confused with what to do. My emotions are like a roller coaster. I have 2 kids (2 1/2 and a 5 month old). After having my last one my sex drive has basically gone away and my partner has a high sex drive, he is ... View more

I have been feeling so overwhelmed and confused with what to do. My emotions are like a roller coaster. I have 2 kids (2 1/2 and a 5 month old). After having my last one my sex drive has basically gone away and my partner has a high sex drive, he is always wanting something different every time. He knows I am a very low drive now and doesn't need to have sex every night and he is happy with I just please him sexually but its starting to not be enough for him. He said I never start anything, I only do something cause he asked. I have read that I should take my time, give myself time to heal mentally but I feel like I don't have time to heal or wait. He doesn't want to wait and I feel like he doesn't understand what I am going though even know he has depression too. Not from the same thing. He asked if he should get a side chick. I feel like I am alone right now. I have no friends and I don't have the best relationship with my parents. I don't know what to do. I feel like everything is getting to me right now. I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense! Thanks for any help!

Lost_in_reality Wondering if “the grass is greener on the other side” of our marriage
  • replies: 6

We’ve been married 4 years and together for 11 with a young child. We’ve had our ups and downs along the way but everything changed after becoming a mum. I changed as a person but he didn’t and I‘m not sure we’re compatible. I’m confused on what to d... View more

We’ve been married 4 years and together for 11 with a young child. We’ve had our ups and downs along the way but everything changed after becoming a mum. I changed as a person but he didn’t and I‘m not sure we’re compatible. I’m confused on what to do. I’m constantly wondering if this is what marriage is like or could we both be happier apart. I’ve been thinking this for over a year now and my main concern is the effect on our child, my selfishness of not wanting to share our child’s time with people besides myself and whether I might be wrong in wanting to leave. The time I spend thinking about this has increased lately which is why I’m here. This is my first relationship really, I’d been on dates and that before I met my husband but no one ever felt right until I met him. This makes it hard for me as well, as I don’t have any history for comparison. I’m constantly questioning whether I should ask for a break and time to find myself and what I need from life? Is that asking to much from him? With what’s going on in the world at the moment timing also isn’t great. There’s a lot of underlying things we’ve been through that I’m not sure I can move passed either. We do have good days but the bad generally out way the good. I’m hoping this might find others who have been through a similar situation who might be able to offer their experiences or advice whether positive or not.

Speechless Best way to mentally deal with partner suffering psychosis?
  • replies: 4

Hi , my partner or best friend who has schizophrenia has recently gone into psychosis and I’m now starting to learn just how terrifying that experience is for him and how powerless I am to help him. before this happened he was unwell and i suspect wa... View more

Hi , my partner or best friend who has schizophrenia has recently gone into psychosis and I’m now starting to learn just how terrifying that experience is for him and how powerless I am to help him. before this happened he was unwell and i suspect was taking illicit drugs. He also had a lot of stress build up since last end of year and depression. Up until a week or more ago we were like always on the phone every night and messaging everyday. We’ve been doing that for nearly over 4 years. usually he liked to come over to my place every afternoon as a place to escape to and have company but once this pandemic happened and I live with my parents over 70 , it resorted to limited time hanging out for an hour or less every now and then at a park for a talk. I hadn’t heard from him within a week expect that he would ring up to go for a walk once and then later tell me he couldn’t with no explanation. Or he would hang up on me when I rang him. a bit about me, I have social phobia and anxiety and have a history or agoraphobia for a few years in my youth. I’ve basically been a hermit for most of my adult life but my best friend was sort of my life line out of the loneliness and helped me gain self identity. up until yesterday I didn’t realise what was going on. I thought he was being cruel to me during his illnesss and I didn’t educate myself on it. but then he rang me and sounded like a terrified young boy and told me he was terrified and his breathing was so laboured. When I asked what he was scared of , he told me He couldn’t explain it but that he wanted to die. He mentioned he felt like the whole town around him was swirling ready to get him or something. he is not in hospital, his mum is looking after him and his sister who recently went through the same thing but was recently hospitalised and returned home. I miss my best friend it hurts quite excruciatingly esp during this pandemic as I haven’t anyone else I talk to. except my parents. i am lucky I am seeing my psychologist today but I am desperate to know what should I be doing to help and how should I healthily be thinking and feeling in this time, I feel such agony for him and his family and just want to help but I can’t really and yet I can’t relax or stop thinking about it as it’s distressing. I am educating myself on psychosis but I scare myself into a spiral of loss. Esp during civil 19 and lack of social support.

EmeraldEmphasis Babysitting Upset
  • replies: 1

I have recently moved in with my partner and his family. We have our own space/section of the house. My partners mum works full time and has a young child. Due to the coronavirus she hasn't been sending her child to school. Which ia understandable. H... View more

I have recently moved in with my partner and his family. We have our own space/section of the house. My partners mum works full time and has a young child. Due to the coronavirus she hasn't been sending her child to school. Which ia understandable. However, as she is under 16 she can't be left home alone. Therefore, I am looking after her, which I don't mind but I was never actually asked to. It was just assumed as I don't work currently. I have never even recieved a thankyou for babysitting and keeping her occupied which honestly would be nice. By the afternoon I am tired from keeping the child occupied so at around 3/4 I put on a movie and go do my own thing. Still keeping an eye out but just having time to watch a show myself and relax. Whenever the mum comes home she says she hasn't been up to anything all day. Which isn't the case as they have been playing/talking etc with me. The other day i heard the mum talking to a friend about me. Saying 'no wonder she has mental issues.She never leaves the house etc'. Well I can't leave the house because I'm looking after her kid. And she went on to say 'she does nothing all day'. Just feel upset about the lack of thanks. Are my feelings justified?

missrogue My anxiety and overthinking is ruining my relationship
  • replies: 1

I feel like most of the time my anxiety and overthinking is the third person in our relationship trying to pull it all apart. I'm with an amazing guy and have been for almost 4 years. He supports me as best he can, recently I catch him reading forums... View more

I feel like most of the time my anxiety and overthinking is the third person in our relationship trying to pull it all apart. I'm with an amazing guy and have been for almost 4 years. He supports me as best he can, recently I catch him reading forums of how to deal with anxiety attacks from a partner perspective (i get them every now again) so I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life. I haven't moved on from something that happened over 2 years ago and I feel like i'm going insane about it. I don't bring it up to him often because it will most likely push him away. With the recent Isolation happening, me losing my job and living with my mum who has terminal cancer, everything builds up. My Bf is a naturally very outgoing, charming and happy guy, (he is a ESFP and im an INFP) with that... comes girls that think he is a great catch too right, who wouldn't. There have been multiple women who have asked him out, knowing full well he is taken. Most of them at his workplaces. Some have tried to take it too far and attempted to kiss him even in front of me. There was this one night, a farewell party that we were all invited to, even though I had left the workplace my bf was still working at (a club), I was still friends with the majority of people there. Short of a very long story, there were two girls there that were interested in him (the one that tried to kiss him, call her lips) and another, ill call her devil for this. Devil and I had only had one word conversations. I'd met her once before this. So devil arrives, there were a few things that went down before this... like making a scene about my bf not hugging her when she arrived and not sitting with all of us until he came over. After that, she messaging him telling him to come over to the smoking area. This is where it all happened. (bf had a good friend next to him backing him up, i wasn't there) She said that he is a different person when I am around, I don't bring out the best in him, that I don't suite his personality, that she doesn't even know me and can see that I don't want to get to know her and that he should leave me. (she had lips backing her up) My Bf turned around to her and said "If I didn't love her, i wouldn't have been with her for 2 years, thats the woman i'm going to marry, so you better get used to it." This is all according to my bf and his friend who re-layed what happened to me after I was stressing sitting with one friend at another table. Natural reaction, I started to cry.

_SitsAlone_ My head is spinning
  • replies: 1

I feel so lost, my husband doesn't care for my tears or spirals, he does what he wants and expects me to go along with it even not telling me things then says I'm controlling, I just want the respect & him to acknowledge that I need him to help me th... View more

I feel so lost, my husband doesn't care for my tears or spirals, he does what he wants and expects me to go along with it even not telling me things then says I'm controlling, I just want the respect & him to acknowledge that I need him to help me through this, I cry for no reason, iv told him im going to see a counselor & he says we will be over cause they put shit in your head and that he is there for me but he's really not,I want to see my family who live over an hr away while his family live in the same town as us and he's always going there but we don't see my family,he wants nothing to do with them, I have 2 children & they are the only ones keeping me here, I'm at a real low and am struggling to get out of it, i was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD and OCD a few yrs ago due to my past relationship, when I told my husband I'm losing it he says "here we go again your always doing this". Is this really my fault?

Becca_Maria Suggestions for online Marriage/Couples Counselling
  • replies: 8

We have tried many marriage counselling sessions, so far they havent worked. We dont have many couples counsellors in our area and the ones we do have, have very long waiting lists!! Can anyone suggest some online services which may be able to help. ... View more

We have tried many marriage counselling sessions, so far they havent worked. We dont have many couples counsellors in our area and the ones we do have, have very long waiting lists!! Can anyone suggest some online services which may be able to help. I am quite desperate as I am in a very bad place mentally (suicidal thoughts etc) and husband has told me the sooner i get out and find a place to rent the better. We have 4 kids and he will hold it over me and tell me to move out without the kids