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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Kazz77 Double betrayal
  • replies: 3

My husband and I had been trying a separation since May. He hasn’t been happy at home, and was telling me he wasn’t sure he wanted to be married anymore. We have 3 children (12 and under) and we have been together for almost 25 years. We we married 1... View more

My husband and I had been trying a separation since May. He hasn’t been happy at home, and was telling me he wasn’t sure he wanted to be married anymore. We have 3 children (12 and under) and we have been together for almost 25 years. We we married 13 years ago. We are both in our forties and so I thought that this was a dramatic mid-life crisis. I didn’t want him to go. But I agreed that he did have some issues that he needed to work out, so I reluctantly agreed. Fast forward a bit, we’ve been sharing parenting 50/50 (week on week off) the kids have been adjusting ok. But I know have found out he’s been sleeping with a mutual friend. I confronted them (quite calmly if you will) about it face to face. And they both said they love each other, but my husband says he also loves me. My trust has been shattered and I don’t know what to do next. I’m willing to try and work through this with him. But he still is unsure in which direction to take. Help!

Guest_3264 In a relationship and had an emotional affair with a single man
  • replies: 9

Confused about my 3yr relationship. Live/work together, and just bought together. Things lately have been overwhelming I can see why grass looks greener. Had a crush on a guy before I got with my current partner. We started chatting during Covid, the... View more

Confused about my 3yr relationship. Live/work together, and just bought together. Things lately have been overwhelming I can see why grass looks greener. Had a crush on a guy before I got with my current partner. We started chatting during Covid, the butterflies etc I never experienced with my current partner (slow burn). I adore my partner but wasn’t initially attracted- that developed. Person B works in my industry and set up his own business and I suggested we catch up to discuss ideas. I made it clear that I am in a relationship and seemed disappointed and business chat ended up being a 6 hour coffee. It was everything I wanted in a first date but for the fact I am with someone. Long story short- after establishing mutual attraction and interest, I realised I crossed an emotional boundary and we agreed to cease contact while I figure out my situation. Separately, there is a lot I struggled with in my current relationship- being colleagues, but also I felt and have felt as though most of the effort to carve out quality time for us as a couple was my job. I told my family I wanted to leave my partner and they were concerned, telling me he plans to propose. My partner is my best friend. I don’t feel like we have the greatest love story or chemistry sometimes and what has been offered is the glimmer of what it was that I always wanted. I’m in my late thirties so ending things could affect my chances of having a family. I can’t fault my partner except that I feel like just a partner. Wonder whether Im settling because I’m comfortable/have certainty, and whether the romance I desire is just fantasy and could all wear off and I might find myself with someone who is not compatible although we appear to be. Seeing the other person affects the emotional connection with my partner, and I find myself not wanting to stop seeing him. I am terrified of losing something great if I don’t break up with my current partner and I don’t know why I feel this. Person B said he hasn’t felt something for anyone in a long time which made me feel very special. Conversely I don’t always feel like I’m my partners priority. He told me he is committed to working on my concerns re romance etc but I question whether we can change an established pattern. Is this sudden doubt/strong feelings for someone else reason to end my relationship? Am I settling for safety/security over true love? Or am I fantasising and needing to reinvest in my relationship? So confused and under pressure!

auschic In a relationship but have an urge to be with someone else
  • replies: 12

I'm in a long term relationship. Things are pretty comfortable and we get along great. I recently met another man who seems to have awoken something within me. I meet many men on a daily basis and have never felt this strongly about someone else. I d... View more

I'm in a long term relationship. Things are pretty comfortable and we get along great. I recently met another man who seems to have awoken something within me. I meet many men on a daily basis and have never felt this strongly about someone else. I did feel this way about my current partner when i first met him which was 5 years ago but other than that these are the only 2 guys I've ever felt this way about. I love my partner, but I can't stop thinking about this other man. I think about him every day and part of me wants to see him again. Even if we were to just talk, I would be happy. The other man and I had some chemistry when we met and if I allowed it to go further, it would have. I let myself feel the feelings I had towards him but I didn't allow myself to act on them despite desperately wanting to. I've only spent a couple of hours with the guy and my thoughts are consumed by him. I thought maybe it was a fantasy (the other man is very attractive to me), so I attempted to get rid of it by imagining him when I had sex with my partner. It didn't do anything at all. I could only feel like I was with my current partner. I don't think It's about sex. I really enjoyed being around the other man, the way he made me feel safe and understood. It felt he was there to help me, which he was. He helped me through a difficult time when I was feeling like there was no hope. He made me feel empowered and I appreciated that. He was so knowledgeable and I respected him. I guess it felt nice having a man i was attracted to treat me so well. When it was time to leave the other man, all I wanted to do was continue talking with him. I can't explain how much i loved talking to him and simply being in his presence. It wasn't necessarily 'I wanna f his brains out and kiss him all over' like what you would usually think when lusting after someone. Not to say I wouldn't want to do that, because I do find him very attractive and there is sexual energy there between us but if I had to choose between the two id say i rather sit some place quiet and simply talk with him. I don't know how to figure out my thoughts. I'm so confused and I love my partner but at the same time this other man has had such an impact on me for some reason. It's seriously frustrating that someone i met once can consume my thoughts so much.

Blue12 What to do if wife wont allow our child to see grandparents
  • replies: 12

To be begin My wife and my mother dont like each other and so my wife will not allow me to bring our child to see my mother. Any thoughts. If i try to to bring up this issue with my wife, it ends up in a quarrel.

To be begin My wife and my mother dont like each other and so my wife will not allow me to bring our child to see my mother. Any thoughts. If i try to to bring up this issue with my wife, it ends up in a quarrel.

Guest_4593 Looking after family before yourself
  • replies: 10

I don't even know myself anymore, life is hard and i have lost interest in trying anymore.. i feel so scared and worried about everything , that i don't live anymore i just take care of everyone. But i have got to a point were i feel everyone would b... View more

I don't even know myself anymore, life is hard and i have lost interest in trying anymore.. i feel so scared and worried about everything , that i don't live anymore i just take care of everyone. But i have got to a point were i feel everyone would be better off when im gone ..or everyone can manage without me.. now a new baby coming. so i will be needed again, to make life easy for someone else. So ib2illwhen do i just get to think about myself and what i need .. iv never been asked what i want or need

confused68 relationship breakup with bipolar girlfriend
  • replies: 64

Hi guys.im new to this and am hoping to get some encouraging advice from those who have been through something similar.my girlfriend who has bipolar started dating april last year.All was going great and she told me about her condition straight up.Be... View more

Hi guys.im new to this and am hoping to get some encouraging advice from those who have been through something similar.my girlfriend who has bipolar started dating april last year.All was going great and she told me about her condition straight up.Before long i met her kids 2 teenagers and her 5 year old twin girls and also her mum,dad,brother and one sister.Everything was going great,we were even going to get engaged.Things were getting serious,maybe a little too quickly.Anyway one night we arranged to meet at the pub but i decided to show up at her place and surprise her with a lift but she got really angry at me.i calmed her down and met her later at the pub but she up and left without me knowing(panic attack maybe)From this night on i noticed her moods had changed and she didnt seem to want to spend time together and she seemed to even have this aggression in her eyes.so 2 weeks later i drank with a mate and fell asleep.aAs i slept i missed 2 texts and a phone call from her.I awoke to a nasty breakup text and ended up taking a week stress leave from work.A couple of months after that we had a chat at the pub and talked about having a proper talk about reconciling.I left her but 2 hour later she caught up with me and abused me in a drunken psychotic rage.Since then her father has passed away and i have sent her the odd text and she has responded in a non aggressive way.I have most of her family on facebook and i know they really like me.I love this woman so intensely and want to contact her to have a face to face chat to reconcile.Could this work.Has anybody out there had a similar situation.I suspect she feels the same but she is very stubborn and i think i should be the one to make the move,but with the bipolar its hard to know what mood she is in.I have done a lot of research so i know what she is going through out of love and respect for her.Any advice would be much appreciated.im hoping to get encouragement.Thanks so much.

Tonyl Sex issues in your 40s
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, my wife and I have been together for 14 years now . We are both in our 40s. Lately I have been having issues in bed - it’s been soo upsetting for both of us. We start getting on in bed really hot having a lot of fun then when we get to i... View more

Hi everyone, my wife and I have been together for 14 years now . We are both in our 40s. Lately I have been having issues in bed - it’s been soo upsetting for both of us. We start getting on in bed really hot having a lot of fun then when we get to intercourse, I can not maintain or finish . It’s never happened to me before- now it’s happened twice in a row. I just do not get it! it’s upsetting for both of us . my wife feels upset saying various things from not being sexy enough etc. I’m totally gutted - I really don’t understand what is wrong with me. I do not take medication and I’m very healthy. I don’t drink much any advice anyone? Any couples going through the same issues?

halo82 Paranoid about husband leaving me for someone else
  • replies: 3

Hi there. I'm new here Recently I was camping with my husband, and as we sat by the fire listening to music, I noticed him playing on his phone. I asked 'whatcha doing' in a friendly way and he replied with 'nothing'. As he said this, his phone tilte... View more

Hi there. I'm new here Recently I was camping with my husband, and as we sat by the fire listening to music, I noticed him playing on his phone. I asked 'whatcha doing' in a friendly way and he replied with 'nothing'. As he said this, his phone tilted toward me and I watched him delete a trail from Messenger, right before he turned the phone to lock mode. I asked calmly 'why did you just delete a message trail? He replied 'I didn't'. Things then got a little heated because I knew what I had seen and couldn't understand why he was lying about it. I hate dishonesty, even when considered a 'white lie' and he knows how I feel about it. He went into full on defensive mode, and I was completely taken aback because I had never meant to argue. I just wanted to know why he felt the need to delete messages. We have been married for four years and I have never even gone near his phone or questioned what he's up to. The next day when we'd cooled down, I explained how I just needed him to be honest. We have not been in a good place this year for various reasons and have lost emotional and physical connection. He told me that he had been messaging a mate from back home (overseas) and getting advice on our relationship. He was messaging because he needed support. I believe him and I have no issue with him talking about me and our issues to close friends as I know everyone needs someone to talk to. However... since that night, I have become super paranoid. What else is he hiding? Who else is he chatting to? Does he talk to girls? What is he doing right now with this phone? I am becoming anxious, losing sleep, and have started worrying that he's cheating on me. My husband is very attractive physically and has an outgoing personality. I on the other hand, have zero self confidence, have suffered with anxiety and depression, went through alcoholism, have gained a lot of weight, have low self esteem, and I don't really have any friends. I know that my weight gain and lack of motivation has been an issue for my husband even though he's too polite to say it. I am working on myself now, have started exercising and eating better and really trying to look after myself. This is for me. I just worry that I'm too late and that he'll be moving onto someone else before I can become my best. How has one small action turned me into an anxious, untrusting and paranoid mess? How do I start trying to relax and trust again? I need some words of wisdom to help me from losing my mind. Thx

cammy7 Advice Or Guidance Please!
  • replies: 2

Hello. I’m new here. I was googling and saw people posting similar things. I’m a 23 yo single mother to my 13 mnth old daughter. We live alone and her father is not involed. I feel like I have no friends. I have 2 friends I still speak to but it feel... View more

Hello. I’m new here. I was googling and saw people posting similar things. I’m a 23 yo single mother to my 13 mnth old daughter. We live alone and her father is not involed. I feel like I have no friends. I have 2 friends I still speak to but it feels like I am bothering them. They hardly message me back and when I do try to make plans they are too tired or busy. They always seem to make plans with others though. I rarely see them and when I do I almost feel awkward and like I am around strangers because we haven’t spoken or seen eachother in so long. They didn’t offer any support while I was pregnant and first had my daughter. I did everything alone and they didn’t and still don’t ask how we are doing. I don’t have a boyfriend or go out anywhere unless I need to as I always have my daughter. I love her to pieces but she is very clingy/whingy so I avoid going to the shops and do my food/other shopping online because she usually cries and we leave mid shop. She wants to be carried always too. I do have amazing parents and siblings but there is no support. It is more just a catch up when we see eachother. There are really busy and don’t have the time to ever babysit for me to go out and meet people. I do not work but I study business full time at university. When I first started my degree I didn’t connect with anybody and spent my days on campus sitting alone at the back of my classes and sitting alone on breaks. Due to Covid, uni ended up online so for this year I have been at home with my little one studying. I don’t have any uni friends and I feel like I wont make any. Maybe it has been too long since having any real friends and socialising properly but I feel like I don’t even know how to talk anymore. My daughter goes to daycare once a week while I do extra study but other than that we are together always. When I drop her to daycare I feel so awkward even talking to the workers because I don’t know what to say. I am never around people anymore and I think I just feel so lonely and like my days are repetitive and boring. I’m not sure where I am going with this post but I guess I am looking for some advice/guidance on what to do. I see posts online of people my age with their boyfriends or proper friend groups and I feel so isolated and sad. I tried looking into mum groups but leaving my house to be with strangers I cant even speak to just makes me feel anxioust at this point. I used to be outgoing. Does anyone else feel this way? Thank you for reading

bubbles_01 Confused!!
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, I recently walked out of a relationship of 8 years with our 7 year old son. Due to my ex drinking and gambling for a long time. I pushed him away as soon as I had our son. Not intentionally, though I felt I was very alone . I fell into d... View more

Hi everyone, I recently walked out of a relationship of 8 years with our 7 year old son. Due to my ex drinking and gambling for a long time. I pushed him away as soon as I had our son. Not intentionally, though I felt I was very alone . I fell into depression and anxiety and refused help from anyone specially my ex. So we have been separated for 6 weeks almost 7. For the 1st 4 weeks I went a little crazy. Met a new friend spent all my spare time with him. My ex had me followed and in the last two weeks I have come clean to him in what I was doing. I felt like I needed to be loved and find attention off someone as I wasn't getting in before. The last 2 weeks I have been trying to sort things out with my ex? He wants to but he is so hurt from what I have been doing! Do I want to be with him? I don't know . Do I wait for him to forgive me if he can. I need help someone who doesn't know me to talk my feeling thru? I'm drained everyday and I feel like I'm losing my mind 24/7