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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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heartstringz Family is about to self destruct
  • replies: 3

My family is about to self destruct & i dont know what to do My relationship with my husband is failing because he is a workaholic. Hes gone long hours 5 days a week but then also apparently has to do 2 hours extra work every evening & now apparently... View more

My family is about to self destruct & i dont know what to do My relationship with my husband is failing because he is a workaholic. Hes gone long hours 5 days a week but then also apparently has to do 2 hours extra work every evening & now apparently needs to do a couple of hours work on weekends too. So we literally never spend any child-free time together because hes always working. And my son has behavioral issues which have gone on for years & ive literally lost all confidence as a parent because nothing seems to work Everything gets loaded onto me - im the one who has to try & fix my marriage, salvage my family & sort out my son's behaviour, because my husband "cant take time off work". im barely coping with the load i have to carry i already had anxiety & a history of depression i don't know how to fix this or who to see for help. i feel like i want to leave my husband, but i don't even know how id afford to pay rent somewhere on a part-time wage. But i can't go full-time as i have a 6 year old & a toddler. im lost & stressed & confused & about at breaking point with the load i have to carry My husband isnt listening to me, hes only focused on work Has anyone else dealt with this? Who would i see for help? I need help with my anxiety, but i also urgently need help with my 6 year old's behaviour, but i also need help to try & fix my family. I don't even know where to start.

Steviep My fiancé and I struggling to conceive. Feeling it my fault.
  • replies: 8

Hi my name is Steven so this very hard for me to talk about but then again I feel like I need to put myself out here cause maybe advice could very well help me But help my fiancé as we atm are struggling to conceive a baby. We been trying for over 12... View more

Hi my name is Steven so this very hard for me to talk about but then again I feel like I need to put myself out here cause maybe advice could very well help me But help my fiancé as we atm are struggling to conceive a baby. We been trying for over 12-18 months and no luck and I feel like it may be my fault. could be anxiety as I have struggled with that my whole life. Could be I overthink things too much and put too much pressure on myself. but what I could think is the problem is that atm the only way I feel like I can actually make myself perform is via the use of watching or thinking of porn/sexual stuff. i just can’t seem to make myself do it any other way than either watching or thinking of porn or sexual stuff. When my fiancé and I have sex nothing is happening. I don’t seem to get eroused enough or excited enough. i just don’t understand it. i also wonder if our overall sex life is maybe been the same and needs a change up. Maybe we need to be more open about our likes and dislikes when comes to sex. but udk I still feel atm the big problem is me thinking and relying on sexual visuals to make me climax. so I ask does anyone have any advice for me? I need this. I’ve been so upset lately cause I’m blaming myself for us not conceiving. Whether I am at fault idk but I feel it is my fault and need To figure this out so anyone have any advice on ways my fiancé and I can improve our chances of conceiving via sex to where I don’t need sexual visual stuff or thinking of it to make it happen? thank you I hope someone has advice for me.

MamaBB Rekindling marriage
  • replies: 2

Hello I separated from my husband at the beginning of March. I felt we had grown a part and he wasn't supporting me the way I needed. The separation was 90% my decision & hasn't been messy, nasty or damaging. We have remained friends & share our daug... View more

Hello I separated from my husband at the beginning of March. I felt we had grown a part and he wasn't supporting me the way I needed. The separation was 90% my decision & hasn't been messy, nasty or damaging. We have remained friends & share our daughter well. Lately I have been thinking what my future holds & I'm getting thoughts about rekindling the relationship. I want more children & I'm not sure if I want to do it with anyone else. There where some issues with support during my daughter's pregnancy, birth & postpartum. Which he has realised & apologized for. When we split & since we have split he has been supportive and seems to show an understanding of how he should have treated me. There's a part of me that believes he has changed. One thing that is stopping me is my sexual orientation. I am definitely caught between wanting to be with him & the idea of being with a woman. Before we split I did express why feelings about women & he did understand. There could be a way we can manage this together & keep the marriage. I'm not sure what to do & what the next step would be. Can I please have some advice & support Thank you

Delma Can't cope after 23 years married
  • replies: 2

I've been married for 23yrs and we have 2 healthy children. We are financially stable and have a successful company. I know I should be happy but I feel depressed and stuck. I no longer want to be married to my husband. I care deeply about my husband... View more

I've been married for 23yrs and we have 2 healthy children. We are financially stable and have a successful company. I know I should be happy but I feel depressed and stuck. I no longer want to be married to my husband. I care deeply about my husband, and he is a good man, but he has always been totally closed off to his emotions and also very determined in his viewpoints. Since the beginning I felt rejected and alone when he wouldn't talk to me after any kind of debate or disagreement. After we had our first child, we moved to Perth for a 4 month post, I asked him to come to marriage counselling, but he refused, saying I was blaming him and I was emotional because I had a newborn. After every holiday there is always a disagreement, it's like he stresses out because the holiday is over, it is just unreasonable and extremely uncomfortable. I hate holidays. I have shut him out the way I had always felt shut out by him. Intimacy is also a problem. For years I was having sex in order to keep the peace and now I just feel used up, like I’m not even capable of enjoying it anymore. The idea of having sex with him makes me so anxious, I know my husband wouldn't handle a sexless marriage. Sex is very important to him, but the real problem is the lack of connection. I don't know how to feel connected to him anymore. I don't think I want to. I know he looks to porn and sites like Mewe, I don't have any proof that he has been unfaithful in our marriage, but he has travelled extensively over the years, so I wouldn't know. I dream of asking him for a separation, but how? I am a Director with 50% share in our company, there are so many elements to consider - our kids, the business, our employees, our large rural property and animals; and I don’t want to move the kids even if I could afford to. And it seems too cruel to ask my husband to move out, and I doubt he would ever agree. My teenage children are now questioning their father, which is heartening to me because I feel like I am not the only one, but I also feel it's so hard to support them because he feels I am not supporting him as a parent - he won't give me an opportunity to disagree with him and make an alternative plan for the kids. Should I stay until the kids are adults and waste another 5yrs of both of our lives? But staying is just adding to my resentment. I need to take some action, I can't stay in limbo. I'm not living just existing.

MYM Where to get help for separation
  • replies: 2

I’m full time stay at home mom of 2 with zero income and zero saving, want to seperate from husband of 13 years. No, he’s not abusive. We just couldn’t work out our issues. I’m about to explode, I can’t deal anything anymore, especially my emotions. ... View more

I’m full time stay at home mom of 2 with zero income and zero saving, want to seperate from husband of 13 years. No, he’s not abusive. We just couldn’t work out our issues. I’m about to explode, I can’t deal anything anymore, especially my emotions. I don’t have family or close friends, just me alone. I was wondering what kind of support or assistance I can get from where? Please help me point to right direction. Thank you.

Kooka51 Getting back up
  • replies: 1

Complex one... how do you get out of a hole that gets bigger because you cant do anything right... or are not trusted. Own a pub with my partner... she not interested in business now for her reasons so have been running it by myself.... but get criti... View more

Complex one... how do you get out of a hole that gets bigger because you cant do anything right... or are not trusted. Own a pub with my partner... she not interested in business now for her reasons so have been running it by myself.... but get criticised by her every day.... no matter what i do or dont do.... even by her snobby friends......... just at point now had enough...

TieFather *Trigger warning* Tough times ahead with a blended family
  • replies: 8

Hi all, New here, but really struggling and have little to no family or freinds to turn to for advice. My wife and i have been together for over 10 years. I came into this relationship knowing my now wife had 2 children of her own. 14 11 And now have... View more

Hi all, New here, but really struggling and have little to no family or freinds to turn to for advice. My wife and i have been together for over 10 years. I came into this relationship knowing my now wife had 2 children of her own. 14 11 And now have two children of our own. 7 2 We both have been through so much. Rough childhoods, Depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety family death. Just to start the list. We have both seen psychologist together and individually. I honestly have the upmost respect for my wife. Shes an amazing woman. I do know my acyion in the past have contributed to what im now facing, but as a new step dad that had come out of an abusive childhood (psychologist level) my parenting style never match with what i wanted. I did smake i did yell and i am regretfull for it. I know it was wrong but it was how i was raised and alot of the time its what i fell on as disilplin. Ive been and seen people for it and right now even tho professionals scoff when told (as in they say i dont need to) im volunteering for a behavioral change program. Im not my mother! Lately i have been struggling with my stepson and it has been getting worse. I saw a psychologist as i realised alot of my issues with him were my own. But also i felt my wife had been pearenting him out of guilt and become blind to what he was doing. Skipping school. Brought drugs to our house. Stealling my wifes smokes. Being rude and disrespectful to me. Whenever id bring it up my wife would turn it on me saying i needed to understand what he had gone through and adjust my opinions to suit. But i felt he started to use it as an excuse to get away with things. As he would go to his mother everytime i put my foot down. To which i would get spoken to by my wife, in front of him. And any attempt to discuss how i felt would result in an argument, where it would end up most of the time with me apologising. My wife and i are really drifting apart

Littlebluescent Feelings for someone in a relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi, I've known this person for about a year now and we seem to have a lot of compatibility and chemistry. I'll admit, when I first met them, I did feel an attraction, but by no means thought it would turn into feelings being developed. After getting ... View more

Hi, I've known this person for about a year now and we seem to have a lot of compatibility and chemistry. I'll admit, when I first met them, I did feel an attraction, but by no means thought it would turn into feelings being developed. After getting to know them a bit more, I discovered we share a lot of the same values, same interests and similar desires in life. I genuinely like them as a friend and they have helped me build a lot of confidence and just an all round warm person to be around. Of course, I'm in no place to tell them how I feel, because they are in a relationship. I'm in no hurry to enter a relationship right now, as I am happy being single, so it's not a matter of feeling lonely. It is just a genuine connection. I guess I just want to know if anyone else has been in this situation and if there's any advice on how to keep my feelings at bay. Thank you.

Guest_1973 Scared to end my 22yr marriage
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have been married for 22years have 2 teenagers, and for many years I have longed to be single..even though I love my husband, i am.not in love with him. For many years of our marriage he drank a lot, which made me resent him. This caused ma... View more

Hi all, I have been married for 22years have 2 teenagers, and for many years I have longed to be single..even though I love my husband, i am.not in love with him. For many years of our marriage he drank a lot, which made me resent him. This caused massive issues together with his lack Of parenting. But I hung in there, and slowly he cut back On his drinking and stopped seeing a lot of his mates, Which used to.come over as well. Even though he has changed his life, I still have thoughts Of being on my own. I am with him for his happiness As I'm.petrified how he'll cope if I tell him I want to separate. Last 2 years our arguments have been massive to arguing About kids, and disagreeing about everything. This affected my kids hearing Us argue so much, and i feel so bad about this. Last time we argued was a month ago. Even tho things Are ok now deep down i want out. I have tried to be happy For everyone's sake, and also.im a religious person too which has stopped me goin down that path. The thought of separating is overwhelming, and too stressful. I am now used to the fact I will be with my hubby forever But don't love him.. Any advice will be great guys. Thank you.

MissMel Feels like im drowning
  • replies: 24

Hi everyone, My partner and I have been together for 16 years. We had a baby young, and our issues started then. We have always pushed through our issues, we never resolve anything and just move on. We bought a house together 8 years ago, and then sh... View more

Hi everyone, My partner and I have been together for 16 years. We had a baby young, and our issues started then. We have always pushed through our issues, we never resolve anything and just move on. We bought a house together 8 years ago, and then shortly after he started having issues with his back. His back causes him ALOT of pain, which makes him angry. Door slamming, yelling, and swearing are common our house. Our house is falling apart, and his back is always the reason things don't get done. Our huge yard is out of control and his family has offered to help clean it up, but he refuses. When approached about the house, he tells me that he needs me to help get it all done. But I am overwhelmed with working full time, doing all the cooking and the cleaning. When I explain that to him, he says he is trying to help around the house, but the most he can do is feeding the pets because everything else hurts his back. Im left feeling like an unappreciated maid. Ive been sleeping in the lounge for months. We have had some huge fights, and some things have been said that make me feel lower than ever. He has told me that im a bad person, that im lazy and that he regrets telling people that im supportive partner. Its also become clear that he is holding onto a night from 14 years ago when we were drunken kids, I broke up with him and was with someone else. We got back together a couple weeks later, but its still being brought up 14 years later. We both have depression and anxiety which is hard. I know Im not blameless in is. When things get hard, I put walls up and shut down to protect myself. I made the decision a couple weeks ago to move out and rent for 6 months. I suggested counselling months ago but was told that if I wanted it, I would have to pay for it. I have the support of my family and have signed the lease already. Its going down with him like a tonne of bricks. I've asked him to please let us trial it so we can try and heal ourselves. But he said if I leave, I won't be able to come back. I can't sleep, I cant eat. Im always shaking and close to hyperventilating. I feel so guilty, like I'm abandoning him. He needs help too but I just can't give that to him. Im terrified that Im making a huge mistake and breaking our family up. Im trying to get help. Ive seen my GP and started a mental health plan and I've made an appointment for myself with Relationships Australia. I love him so much and im heart broken but I also cant go on like this.